I was just thinking about the job that I had working in a warehouse when I was 18. There was this pencil necked asshole office clerk who worked there as well. This guy thought that he was a chief around there, but the fact was that he was just another schmuck like the rest of us.

As part of the job we had to drive around on these hi-los to move heavy stock and move things to the upper shelves of the racks. No one was certified or trained to drive them which was a state workplace safety violation, but no one ever bitched. We were all constantly crashing into the racks (which were heavy steel and very sturdy) and this office guy hated it. I should also mention that this guy particularly hated me because I never treated him like the boss that he (and only he) thought that he was.

Well, one time this guy was walking through the warehouse and saw me smack into a rack with a hi-lo. He became furious and immedately turned around and went back to his office. About 30 minutes later myself, the branch manager, the warehouse supervisor and a few other warehouse guys were standing around talking about something when the asshole comes barging up with a paper in his hand. Right in front of everyone he informed me that he had witnessed me driving the hi-lo in a careless manner and had written me up (which was way beyond his authority). He informed me that I had to sign this paper which he would then deliver to HR to go into my permenant file. So, right in front of everyone I took my pen out of my pocket, stuck the paper on his face, scribbled my name on it and handed it back to him. He stood there for a second trying to control himself and then walked away. As he was turning to walk off one of the warehouse guys busted out laughing, which caused everyone else to start laughing hysterically (including the branch manager and the warehouse supervisor). A couple years later I moved on to bigger and better things. Just remembering that brought me a chuckle though.

I was installing wireless internet service, and the whole time I was installing, the customer kept bitching and bitching about how long I was taking, how long we took to get out there to do the install (2 days from contract to install), and a bunch of other shit.

I just started taking the equipment down, and told her that we could not provide service to her anymore.  She yelled and complained, how she was going to go with a competitor.  I did not explain to her that we have no competitors, and that we have the monopoly for broadband in the area.  I told her right to her face that she was blacklisted for running her mouth, and will go without broadband service as long as we are providing it.  I even closed her dial-up account.  I hope she likes people PC or whatever BS she signed up for.  

3/4 of the posts i make on here

I wouldn't know where to start...

i told a girl i wasn't interested because she was too "plain."

Told a girl from the Bronx that it wouldn't work out because I "sure as hell wasn't gonna cross a bridge for no girl..."

Quoted: 3/4 of the posts i make on here

Apparently I pissed off ARDOC so much () I became part of his permanent sig line ()

Quoted: I see you're a graduate of the "jrzy school of interpersonal relations

When breaking up with a girl once, I told her, "it's not that I don't love you, it's that i'm not sure anyone could."

I took a girl home from a bar one night in college, fucked the crap out of her and told her I was going back to the bar to drink with my friends, to top it all off when she asked for my phone number I gave her my friends cell number.