Ireland Declares War on France
Jacques Chirac, The French President, is sitting in his office when his
telephone rings.

"Hallo, Mr. Chirac!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy Down at
the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we
are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is
your army?"

"Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself,
me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team
from the pub. That makes eight!"

Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army
waiting to move on my command."

"Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is
still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Chirac asks.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Chirac sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and
5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to
150,000 since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still
on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie
McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the
cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!"

Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell
you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military
bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day.
"Top o' the mornin', Mr. Chirac! I am sorry to inform you that we have had
to call off the war."

"Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Chirac. "Why the sudden change of
heart?"

"Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and
decided there is no fookin' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners."

i expected that to go another way

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

DAMN THAT WAS GOOD!!!

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've heard that one before but its always a good one.

Quoted: I've heard that one before but its always a good one.

+1.  (Look, I can be a post whore too)

ahhhahhhahhahhh *can't breathe* *wipes eyes*



OMG THAT was frickin' Hilarious

that was a good one.

   

Tears...can't breath...

That was good!
Paging Mr. Vitto, Irish bashing the Phrench. Paging Mr. Vitto...

It's funny because it's true.  


GM

That's funny as hell.

lol, good one

When I first heard that one, living as I was in Dublin in the last millenium, the two protagonists were Paddy and Saddam Hussein.

I fear someone has altered it from the original in the last decade or so.

NTM

hehehehe

Larry the Cable guy,I dont care who you are that there is funny,Larry the Cable guy

lol

I wish the thread title was true.  

Saving that one.

Awesome.