Thanks, guys. I really need a laugh.

tag

Drunks who call to report their car stolen becuase their drunk ass cant remember where they parked it.

Drunks who call to report their gun stolen. They cant remember the last time the saw it.  but they couldnt find it when they got drunk and wanted to shoot themselves.

16yo Girl who attempted suicide by overdosing on her dads viagra.

Any parent calling becuase their minor child is "out of control."

Anyone calling becuase they are in a verbal arguement with their roomate/spouse/significant other and they want us to "make them stop" or "make them leave."

The Catholic church that feeds the homeless every evening calling becuase there are too many bums loitering around during evening mass.

Rich white people calling about a suspicious person who turns out to be a middle class black kid selling magazine subscriptions for a school fund raiser. "Ma'am, can you tell me what was suspicious about him?"

Women callig becuase their husband is smacking them around, but they dont want him arrested. Sorry, thank OJ. You tell me you got hit he goes to jail period.

20yo's calling becuase the bar bouncers confiscated their fake ID.

Anyone calling becuase something valuable that they left in plain veiw in their unlocked car parked in the street got stolen.

Surfers calling to report their car stolen after they "hid" the keys on the rear tire or inside the rear bumper.

My favorite call ever.  A 35yo man whose father had recently died and left him a large inheritance decided to get a $3,000.00 a night room at a famous hotel and spend a week smoking crack and screwing hookers. On about day 5 he sodomized a hooker without paying extra for it.  she left and told him she was going to send her brothers to kill him. Coincendently the hotel decided to evict him the same day. So in his coked out state when the hotel staff asked him to leave he thought it was a trap and barracaded the door. The hotle called us.  We kicked the connecter door from the adjacent roomm and the fight was on. We ended up out on the 4th floor balcony.  During the 3minute fight to get him into handcuffs he shit himself and one of his shouders got dislocated before i finally chocked him out.  The entire time he was screaming "your not real cops" and "your killing me." There was a large wedding party in the courtyard 4 stories below <G>.  The hotel staff told me later that they had to give a bunch of refunds to guests that heard the screaming so i told them to contact the DA for restitution.  The suspect got 3 years probation, 180 days in jail, and had to give what little was left of his inheritance to the hotel for the wedding party and dozens of $3,000.00 a night rooms they had refunded/comped becuase of his actions.

Quoted: Drunks who call to report their car stolen becuase their drunk ass cant remember where they parked it. Drunks who call to report their gun stolen. They cant remember the last time the saw it.  but they couldnt find it when they got drunk and wanted to shoot themselves. 16yo Girl who attempted suicide by overdosing on her dads viagra. Any parent calling becuase their minor child is "out of control." Anyone calling becuase they are in a verbal arguement with their roomate/spouse/significant other and they want us to "make them stop" or "make them leave." The Catholic church that feeds the homeless every evening calling becuase there are too many bums loitering around during evening mass. Rich white people calling about a suspicious person who turns out to be a middle class black kid selling magazine subscriptions for a school fund raiser. "Ma'am, can you tell me what was suspicious about him?" Women callig becuase their husband is smacking them around, but they dont want him arrested. Sorry, thank OJ. You tell me you got hit he goes to jail period. 20yo's calling becuase the bar bouncers confiscated their fake ID. Anyone calling becuase something valuable that they left in plain veiw in their unlocked car parked in the street got stolen. Surfers calling to report their car stolen after they "hid" the keys on the rear tire or inside the rear bumper. My favorite call ever.  A 35yo man whose father had recently died and left him a large inheritance decided to get a $3,000.00 a night room at a famous hotel and spend a week smoking crack and screwing hookers. On about day 5 he sodomized a hooker without paying extra for it.  she left and told him she was going to send her brothers to kill him. Coincendently the hotel decided to evict him the same day. So in his coked out state when the hotel staff asked him to leave he thought it was a trap and barracaded the door. The hotle called us.  We kicked the connecter door from the adjacent roomm and the fight was on. We ended up out on the 4th floor balcony.  During the 3minute fight to get him into handcuffs he shit himself and one of his shouders got dislocated before i finally chocked him out.  The entire time he was screaming "your not real cops" and "your killing me." There was a large wedding party in the courtyard 4 stories below <G>.  The hotel staff told me later that they had to give a bunch of refunds to guests that heard the screaming so i told them to contact the DA for restitution.  The suspect got 3 years probation, 180 days in jail, and had to give what little was left of his inheritance to the hotel for the wedding party and dozens of $3,000.00 a night rooms they had refunded/comped becuase of his actions.

There was this one time where a midget got ahold of some Clorox and a Butane lighter while using a shop vac. That was one ugly sight.

Good stuff so far, and only one contributing LEO.

Received a call from one of the local trailer parks for DV. I get there. It turns out the husband was drunk, spilled his drink on the bed and the wife wanted me to make him change the sheets.

Arrested a 19 year old for DUI. He had a 16 yr old girl in the car. Called the parents to come pick up the girl, arrested the dad for DUI when he showed up.

Stopped a 17 yr old for driving 100+ in a 35 mph. He had been drinking but was not drunk. Called the female passenger parents to come get her. The parents cussed me out for waking them up.

On routine patrol, car in front of me throws a beer bottle at a sign. Everybody in the car went to jail for open containor.

Quoted: On routine patrol, car in front of me throws a beer bottle at a sign. Everybody in the car went to jail for open containor.

Damn! You guys take people to jail for open container?  That's an infraction here.  a nonbookable cite & release in the field. A small fine if over 21.  traffic school if under 21.

Nice stories. Do any of you guys ever think you should be able to arrest for Wasting Police Resources?

not LEO but on one call a lady was complaining because her cat was eating her neighbors cat food and getting sick

I shit you not she wanted us to do something about this and claimed the neighbor was doing it because he was jealous of her cat...

WTF ma'am


solution keep your fucking cat inside!

Quoted: Quoted: On routine patrol, car in front of me throws a beer bottle at a sign. Everybody in the car went to jail for open containor. Damn! You guys take people to jail for open container?  That's an infraction here.  a nonbookable cite & release in the field. A small fine if over 21.  traffic school if under 21.

It's actually called Violation of Prohibition Law here. Bascially in dry counties no open containers in the passenger area and you can't have more than a case of beer per person.iirc

We did not have cite and release for such offenses for a while. We did later on get citations for this but it was still a jailable offense, Officer discreation.

All pot cases here arrestable offenses.

Quoted: Nice stories. Do any of you guys ever think you should be able to arrest for Wasting Police Resources?

We called it POP, Pissing Off the Police.

Woman calls to report that she was a victim of domestic battery.  She passed out drunk on the couch and when she woke up, she discovered her boyfriend had shaved her pubis completely bald.   When the officer arrived, she lifted up her shirt to show him the "evidence".  Sgt. would NOT allow photos for evidence.

Lady called to report that someone she does not know drove past her and gave her the finger.  She wanted a report made.

Guy calls to report a theft.  Said that he gave a hooker $50 for sex and after handing her the money, she ran off.

Kid called to report that the gas station stole his fake ID.

Guy called to report that he was sold some shitty marijuana.

Woman calls to report that her dead husband's spirit is in the garage.  I shit you not, when I went into the garage with her, the car's panic alarm started going off, and neither the lady nor I had any keys in our hands.  I about shit myself twice!!

People on the beach report a large fish being eaten by sharks.  Turns out to be two large sea turtles doing the deed.

A lady found her husband dead on the bathroom floor...with a toilet brush sticking out of his ass.

A lady called because her neighbors cat left a dead rat in her yard.  

Quoted: 16yo Girl who attempted suicide by overdosing on her dads viagra.

So, did you help the lady out?  

CO

Tag, this should be good.

Quoted: Woman calls to report that she was a victim of domestic battery.  She passed out drunk on the couch and when she woke up, she discovered her boyfriend had shaved her pubis completely bald.   When the officer arrived, she lifted up her shirt to show him the "evidence".  Sgt. would NOT allow photos for evidence. Lady called to report that someone she does not know drove past her and gave her the finger.  She wanted a report made. Guy calls to report a theft.  Said that he gave a hooker $50 for sex and after handing her the money, she ran off. Kid called to report that the gas station stole his fake ID. Guy called to report that he was sold some shitty marijuana. Woman calls to report that her dead husband's spirit is in the garage.  I shit you not, when I went into the garage with her, the car's panic alarm started going off, and neither the lady nor I had any keys in our hands.  I about shit myself twice!! People on the beach report a large fish being eaten by sharks.  Turns out to be two large sea turtles doing the deed. A lady found her husband dead on the bathroom floor...with a toilet brush sticking out of his ass. A lady called because her neighbors cat left a dead rat in her yard.

I can't decide which ones of those is best.  They are all awesome !!

Had a woman call 911, fuming mad, wanting us to make her neighbor keep leaves and sticks from falling into her yard.
Got a call from a Cracker Barrel restaurant once, said there was a guy loading rocking chairs into the back of his truck. A minute later the caller said that his truck died and he was pushing it up the road..to get out of this Cracker barrel you have to go up a pretty steep slope....I think the guy was almost a little relieved when I pulled up...he had run out of gas, and said he had stolen the rocking chairs (wrth $499.97, LUCKY!) to sell them to buy some gas. I wanted to ask him why the hell he didnt just do a gas driveoff like everybody else, but figured if he couldnt figure that one out by himself I wouldnt help!
Not funny (to me anyway!)but damn scary.....got a call to do a welfare check on a woman, her employer and kids had been trying to call her without answer.....350+lb 50 something year old black lady comes to the door buck assed naked.. She wasnt even trying to stay behnid the door either...saw stretchmarks like you wouldnt believe, and my eyes havent been the same since.....

Go to a guys house because he's pissed off at the little green bastards who've been swinging from his celing fan and tearing up his house.  Guy's foaming at the mouth angry - so pissed off that he couldn't talk.

The supervisor asked him if he had seen the little red ones, because we'd been out looking for them all night.  The guy said no, but that he'd keep an eye out for them.  

He wound up going to the local psyche ward.



-K

Man call to complain the neighbor's dogs are barking.

Get there, they are barking. Person that called is there telling me he has gotten tickets in the past for barking dogs and wants something done.

I as him if he knows if the owner(s) are home, he tells me they are on vacation. I ask if he knows if anyone is taking care of the dogs while the owners are away.
He tells me he is the one taking care of the dogs.................................

Quoted: Received a call from one of the local trailer parks for DV. I get there. It turns out the husband was drunk, spilled his drink on the bed and the wife wanted me to make him change the sheets.

HA HA!!!

Backed up a unit from a neighboring city, foot chase. bad guy was wearing those shoes which light up with every step. Easy catch.

Lady wanted to report her car stolen because she found out her husband was out in it, getting his groove on with her sister.

I wrote a lady a ticket, she get's home calls 911, wants to file a complaint, I showed up at her house for her to file a complaint on me. Should have seen the look on her face.

Stopped a guy for speeding. He had half a joint still burning in the ash tray.

tag for the LEO goodness.

Quoted: Backed up a unit from a neighboring city, foot chase. bad guy was wearing those shoes which light up with every step. Easy catch. Lady wanted to report her car stolen because she found out her husband was out in it, getting his groove on with her sister. I wrote a lady a ticket, she get's home calls 911, wants to file a complaint, I showed up at her house for her to file a complaint on me. Should have seen the look on her face. Stopped a guy for speeding. He had half a joint still burning in the ash tray.

My old man had a chase like that - he said he was glad those shoes were so popular - made his job easy.
I have often wondered why criminals dont have more practical fashion.
It's not easy to run from someone with untied timberland boots, t-shirts that come past one's knees, and pants you have to hold up with one hand.

Quoted: Man call to complain the neighbor's dogs are barking. Get there, they are barking. Person that called is there telling me he has gotten tickets in the past for barking dogs and wants something done. I as him if he knows if the owner(s) are home, he tells me they are on vacation. I ask if he knows if anyone is taking care of the dogs while the owners are away. He tells me he is the one taking care of the dogs.................................

There was this one the other day. We get a call from a nearby agency advising one of their officers was the victim of a hit/run. They said it was just a little scratch but please just try to get the suspect to give them a call so they could finish up a crash report. They said the driver probably didn't even know they'd bumped their undercover officer's Mustang, and that there was probably just a little bit of silver paint transfer on the truck's bumper. Honestly we'd been bored all day and running "what if" scenarios, and decided to go set up on the offender's house, not knowing what to expect from the suspect since our dept. doesn't have any history of any contacts at the residence or with either of the registered owners of the suspect vehicle.

It was actually pretty effective training for us at picking surveillance locations and communicating effectively. We see the guy pull his truck into the garage. So we kind of ran over to try to get his attention before the garage door started going down. I kind of shouted a little so he could hear me since I was way out at the end of the driveway. I said the standard, "Sir could you come out of the garage so I can talk with you for a minute?"  Then he just starts screaming at us to get the hell off his property or else - when we were just trying to talk to him.

Well, of course, we're perfectly willing to accomodate any citizen who pushes the 'escalate the situation' button. Tell him we're just looking into a hit/run but he continues on his rant. So a quick pat-down verifies he's not armed (although it would have been legal for him to be armed, when someone lays down the "or else" comment... we take it seriously) He continues ranting while his wife's trying to tell him to calm down but he won't have any of that. So I tell my partner to put him in the back of the squad so we don't have to end up arresting him for obstructing an investigation.

Soon as that happens, we're able to talk to the much calmer wife, who said that she'd been driving the truck earlier and was not aware that she'd bumped another car, and when she heard it was an undercover police car she was actually pretty embarrassed about it. We got in contact w/ the other agency and helped them make arrangements to have one of their officers come out to this lady's house instead of making them drive all the way back to the other agency's department.

As for the guy... I'm sure he figured out some way to tell all his buddies how much of a victim he was and how he showed them cops a thing or two. We were probably there less than 10 minutes and he ended up getting let out of the squad once he'd calmed down, instead of getting too hyped up and doing something that might have got him arrested. All in all another routine night for the guys and lady on my shift.

Quoted: Nice stories. Do any of you guys ever think you should be able to arrest for Wasting Police Resources?

Yes. But we only can in two sets of circumstances.  False report of an emergency. I have had one of those in 13 years.  a fake bomb threat under a bridge.

the other is misuse of 911.  i have had a bunch of those including an ilegal immigrant who called 911 three times trying to talk to the watch commander becuse i wrote him a drinking in public ticket.

This is good stuff.

If you aren't old enough to remember Corvairs, this may be a reach for you.  My Dad's department got a call from a lady who wanted to report her cars engine had been stolen.  Couldn't get it started so she went and opened the hood to check the battery and NO engine.  Oh my gawd the engines stolen.

Quoted: There was this one the other day. We get a call from a nearby agency advising one of their officers was the victim of a hit/run. They said it was just a little scratch but please just try to get the suspect to give them a call so they could finish up a crash report. They said the driver probably didn't even know they'd bumped their undercover officer's Mustang, and that there was probably just a little bit of silver paint transfer on the truck's bumper. Honestly we'd been bored all day and running "what if" scenarios, and decided to go set up on the offender's house, not knowing what to expect from the suspect since our dept. doesn't have any history of any contacts at the residence or with either of the registered owners of the suspect vehicle. It was actually pretty effective training for us at picking surveillance locations and communicating effectively. We see the guy pull his truck into the garage. So we kind of ran over to try to get his attention before the garage door started going down. I kind of shouted a little so he could hear me since I was way out at the end of the driveway. I said the standard, "Sir could you come out of the garage so I can talk with you for a minute?"  Then he just starts screaming at us to get the hell off his property or else - when we were just trying to talk to him. Well, of course, we're perfectly willing to accomodate any citizen who pushes the 'escalate the situation' button. Tell him we're just looking into a hit/run but he continues on his rant. So a quick pat-down verifies he's not armed (although it would have been legal for him to be armed, when someone lays down the "or else" comment... we take it seriously) He continues ranting while his wife's trying to tell him to calm down but he won't have any of that. So I tell my partner to put him in the back of the squad so we don't have to end up arresting him for obstructing an investigation. Soon as that happens, we're able to talk to the much calmer wife, who said that she'd been driving the truck earlier and was not aware that she'd bumped another car, and when she heard it was an undercover police car she was actually pretty embarrassed about it. We got in contact w/ the other agency and helped them make arrangements to have one of their officers come out to this lady's house instead of making them drive all the way back to the other agency's department. As for the guy... I'm sure he figured out some way to tell all his buddies how much of a victim he was and how he showed them cops a thing or two. We were probably there less than 10 minutes and he ended up getting let out of the squad once he'd calmed down, instead of getting too hyped up and doing something that might have got him arrested. All in all another routine night for the guys and lady on my shift.

OWNED

Quoted: If you aren't old enough to remember Corvairs, this may be a reach for you.  My Dad's department got a call from a lady who wanted to report her cars engine had been stolen.  Couldn't get it started so she went and opened the hood to check the battery and NO engine.  Oh my gawd the engines stolen.

I would have filed a report and told her that I would "Look into it"

Quoted: There was this one the other day. We get a call from a nearby agency advising one of their officers was the victim of a hit/run. They said it was just a little scratch but please just try to get the suspect to give them a call so they could finish up a crash report. They said the driver probably didn't even know they'd bumped their undercover officer's Mustang, and that there was probably just a little bit of silver paint transfer on the truck's bumper. Honestly we'd been bored all day and running "what if" scenarios, and decided to go set up on the offender's house, not knowing what to expect from the suspect since our dept. doesn't have any history of any contacts at the residence or with either of the registered owners of the suspect vehicle. It was actually pretty effective training for us at picking surveillance locations and communicating effectively. We see the guy pull his truck into the garage. So we kind of ran over to try to get his attention before the garage door started going down. I kind of shouted a little so he could hear me since I was way out at the end of the driveway. I said the standard, "Sir could you come out of the garage so I can talk with you for a minute?"  Then he just starts screaming at us to get the hell off his property or else - when we were just trying to talk to him. Well, of course, we're perfectly willing to accomodate any citizen who pushes the 'escalate the situation' button. Tell him we're just looking into a hit/run but he continues on his rant. So a quick pat-down verifies he's not armed (although it would have been legal for him to be armed, when someone lays down the "or else" comment... we take it seriously) He continues ranting while his wife's trying to tell him to calm down but he won't have any of that. So I tell my partner to put him in the back of the squad so we don't have to end up arresting him for obstructing an investigation. Soon as that happens, we're able to talk to the much calmer wife, who said that she'd been driving the truck earlier and was not aware that she'd bumped another car, and when she heard it was an undercover police car she was actually pretty embarrassed about it. We got in contact w/ the other agency and helped them make arrangements to have one of their officers come out to this lady's house instead of making them drive all the way back to the other agency's department. As for the guy... I'm sure he figured out some way to tell all his buddies how much of a victim he was and how he showed them cops a thing or two. We were probably there less than 10 minutes and he ended up getting let out of the squad once he'd calmed down, instead of getting too hyped up and doing something that might have got him arrested. All in all another routine night for the guys and lady on my shift.

Wow.  That's like deja vu, but from a different perspective.

tag for home

When i was working a two man uit we arrested a very drunk surfer for ADW.  The guy was a prick the whole time.  Talked trash all the way to the jail. No big deal, street cops should ignore that shit.  however jailers will not ignore it and our state laws allow jailers to use force to "maintain order" in the jail and enforce the jails rules.  those jail rules prohibit profanity or disrepect to jail staff.  so basically, if you talk shit once you get through the sally port your getting beat/pepersprayed/taserd.

So when we got to the jail joe surfer was still talking trash. My parner tells him"Dude, you better check yourself..." to which the suspect immediately replies "Or what? before i wreck myself..?"  I couldnt help but laugh. he was actually damn funny.

So when get inside the jail and the medical staff asks him "Are you sick or injured?"  His response was, "not yet, but i think that's going to change."

It turns out he was some kind of prophet or something.  Becuase about 5 minutes later he mouthed off to the jailers and got the beating he had been begging for all night.

Oh well.  my partner tried to warn him.

Dumbass called the police to report that he bought some "bad" drugs.  Turned out the baggie of "powdered cocaine" was nothing but baking soda.  Locked his dumbass for possession of cocaine.  And he never would rat out his dealer too.  Went to prison for baking soda and turned down a probation plea bargain deal if he ratted out his dealer.

Had four bums laid out in the middle of a parking lot behind Popeye's Chicken in the middle of summer about 8-9 years ago.  They were all groaning and laying on their sides in the fetal position, holding their stomachs.  Scattered around them was like 30 empty bottles of mouthwash.  Yes, dumbass drunks tried to get drunk off of mouthwash.  We were all laughing at them as we waited for the ambulance service to arrive.

Any call when a minor wants to report "child abuse" when told to do homework/chores.  Been plenty of calls where I stood by as the parent commenced to whip their child's ass with a belt, once I told them a little discipline is OK.  Then I tell the minor don't call the police unless it's really abuse.

Any call dealing with "my baby's daddy/momma".

Any call dealing with EBT/Foodstamps.

Any call where the child is "out of control".  Hate when dumbass subhumans want someone else to raise their kids.  Proper discipline, moral behavior upbringing can start at around age 3 or so.  For some reason, dumbasses want to wait till the kids like 12+ before trying to raise them.

A dumbass wanted me to fingerprint a rusty chain-link fence since someone "stole" his 6 month old puppy from the back porch.  I survey the back yard.  Totally enclosed by chain-link fence with a chain-link gate.  And there's a hole right under the fence line that looks like it was dug by a dog from inside the fence, since the pile of dirt was thrown from the fence into the yard.  Even after pointing this out, the dumbass was still convinced that someone opened the gate and took his puppy.  I proceeded to tell the dumbass that you cant print a chain link fence and there is no way he's got a puppy trained to stay on a 3'x3' concrete slab all day/night.  Then he called me a racist and wanted to speak to my Sgt.  When my Sgt arrived, he called the dumbass an idiot and a racist (my Sgt is black) and told me to lock his ass up for misuse of 911 services if he calls any other units to his house.

Quoted: There was this one the other day. We get a call from a nearby agency advising one of their officers was the victim of a hit/run. They said it was just a little scratch but please just try to get the suspect to give them a call so they could finish up a crash report. They said the driver probably didn't even know they'd bumped their undercover officer's Mustang, and that there was probably just a little bit of silver paint transfer on the truck's bumper. Honestly we'd been bored all day and running "what if" scenarios, and decided to go set up on the offender's house, not knowing what to expect from the suspect since our dept. doesn't have any history of any contacts at the residence or with either of the registered owners of the suspect vehicle. It was actually pretty effective training for us at picking surveillance locations and communicating effectively. We see the guy pull his truck into the garage. So we kind of ran over to try to get his attention before the garage door started going down. I kind of shouted a little so he could hear me since I was way out at the end of the driveway. I said the standard, "Sir could you come out of the garage so I can talk with you for a minute?"  Then he just starts screaming at us to get the hell off his property or else - when we were just trying to talk to him. Well, of course, we're perfectly willing to accomodate any citizen who pushes the 'escalate the situation' button. Tell him we're just looking into a hit/run but he continues on his rant. So a quick pat-down verifies he's not armed (although it would have been legal for him to be armed, when someone lays down the "or else" comment... we take it seriously) He continues ranting while his wife's trying to tell him to calm down but he won't have any of that. So I tell my partner to put him in the back of the squad so we don't have to end up arresting him for obstructing an investigation. Soon as that happens, we're able to talk to the much calmer wife, who said that she'd been driving the truck earlier and was not aware that she'd bumped another car, and when she heard it was an undercover police car she was actually pretty embarrassed about it. We got in contact w/ the other agency and helped them make arrangements to have one of their officers come out to this lady's house instead of making them drive all the way back to the other agency's department. As for the guy... I'm sure he figured out some way to tell all his buddies how much of a victim he was and how he showed them cops a thing or two. We were probably there less than 10 minutes and he ended up getting let out of the squad once he'd calmed down, instead of getting too hyped up and doing something that might have got him arrested. All in all another routine night for the guys and lady on my shift.

ya know.... there is an ARFCOMer ...........

tag for home LMAO

tag

Quoted: In my mind's eye I see a big PWNED sign hanging over these people's heads....

What does "PWNED" mean? Sorry, I'm just not up on all the new internet jargon.

I'm not a LEO but... A close friend/fireman in town here told me once about a call from some yuppie POS. The man wouldn't state the emergency, only demanded the fire dept. Evedently his lawn furniture blew into an adjacent retention pond and he wanted it out "NOW!" My bud calmly stated that they couldn't help him (they were very busy just after a major windstorm). Needless to say he was eventually led off in bracelets.

Quoted: A lady found her husband dead on the bathroom floor...with a toilet brush sticking out of his ass.

WTF?

Did he perforate his colon and bleed to death?

Quoted: Quoted: There was this one the other day. We get a call from a nearby agency advising one of their officers was the victim of a hit/run. They said it was just a little scratch but please just try to get the suspect to give them a call so they could finish up a crash report. They said the driver probably didn't even know they'd bumped their undercover officer's Mustang, and that there was probably just a little bit of silver paint transfer on the truck's bumper. Honestly we'd been bored all day and running "what if" scenarios, and decided to go set up on the offender's house, not knowing what to expect from the suspect since our dept. doesn't have any history of any contacts at the residence or with either of the registered owners of the suspect vehicle. It was actually pretty effective training for us at picking surveillance locations and communicating effectively. We see the guy pull his truck into the garage. So we kind of ran over to try to get his attention before the garage door started going down. I kind of shouted a little so he could hear me since I was way out at the end of the driveway. I said the standard, "Sir could you come out of the garage so I can talk with you for a minute?"  Then he just starts screaming at us to get the hell off his property or else - when we were just trying to talk to him. Well, of course, we're perfectly willing to accomodate any citizen who pushes the 'escalate the situation' button. Tell him we're just looking into a hit/run but he continues on his rant. So a quick pat-down verifies he's not armed (although it would have been legal for him to be armed, when someone lays down the "or else" comment... we take it seriously) He continues ranting while his wife's trying to tell him to calm down but he won't have any of that. So I tell my partner to put him in the back of the squad so we don't have to end up arresting him for obstructing an investigation. Soon as that happens, we're able to talk to the much calmer wife, who said that she'd been driving the truck earlier and was not aware that she'd bumped another car, and when she heard it was an undercover police car she was actually pretty embarrassed about it. We got in contact w/ the other agency and helped them make arrangements to have one of their officers come out to this lady's house instead of making them drive all the way back to the other agency's department. As for the guy... I'm sure he figured out some way to tell all his buddies how much of a victim he was and how he showed them cops a thing or two. We were probably there less than 10 minutes and he ended up getting let out of the squad once he'd calmed down, instead of getting too hyped up and doing something that might have got him arrested. All in all another routine night for the guys and lady on my shift. OWNED

There is a post with the exact samething except from the other guys point of view..........

Quoted: Quoted: In my mind's eye I see a big PWNED sign hanging over these people's heads.... What does "PWNED" mean? Sorry, I'm just not up on all the new internet jargon.

Go here for Pwned...

Here's more:

Female officer checked out with one of our local drunks at a gas station.  She later yelled for assistance.  Get there and see the drunk just sitting on the curb looking at the female officer.  You could tell she was pretty stressed out.  Turns out that the drunk would not comply with her and leave the area.  The female officer attempts to pepper spray the guy.  Our original pepper spray canisters did not have the "idiot proof" tops.  The female officer ends up pepper spraying herself and the drunk guy just sat there, watching in amusement.

People who call to report kids knocking on their doors...on Halloween night.

People who call about fireworks on New Years and 4th of July.

A guy complained about loud music and loud people coming from a bar...even though he chose to live in an apartment directly over said bar.

A woman approached another officer and I while we were working a detail.  She said she couldn't get into her car.  We follow her to the car, thinking that she locked her keys inside.  She then pulls out her keys attached to the remote button.  She presses the button several times and can't get the door to open. (batteries in remote were dead).  My buddy then takes the keys from her, sticks the key in the key hole and unlocks the door.  Lady said she didn't know the keys would open the door.  

Girl drives up to the DUI checkpoint with a joint burning in the ashtray.  After she gets arrested, she screams "you can't arrest me, this is a DUI checkpoint, not a marijuana checkpoint!"  

Drunk says on camera during roadside tasks "buddy, I can't do this shit sober."

Lady calls to report a suspicious airplane flying in the sky.

While working a fatality crash in which a majority of the highway was shut down, a lady called dispatch to complain about the traffic backup.  After she was told the reason for the delay, she told the dispatcher, "I don't care, I have a salon appointment that you all are making me late for."

Quoted: There is a post with the exact samething except from the other guys point of view..........

I know.

Quoted: If you aren't old enough to remember Corvairs, this may be a reach for you.  My Dad's department got a call from a lady who wanted to report her cars engine had been stolen.  Couldn't get it started so she went and opened the hood to check the battery and NO engine.  Oh my gawd the engines stolen.

LOL!  That is funny!

Calls for loud parties, on NEW YEARS EVE, at 9:00 pm.

Guy attempted suicide by drinking a pint of malathion, thought it was pretty stupid thing to do while driving to the call. Suprisingly effective too, guy was DRT after doing the funky chicken for 15 minutes.

Quoted: Quoted: A lady found her husband dead on the bathroom floor...with a toilet brush sticking out of his ass. WTF? Did he perforate his colon and bleed to death?

Don't know.  I think he was getting off and had a heart attack.  Wife kept yelling "pull it out...pull it out".  Can't ma'am.  He belongs to the Medical Examiner and I cannot tamper with the body"

Now picture this:

Large crowd of neighbors outside.  ME brings the body out on a stretcher.  There is a sheet over the body, and there is a pup-tent effect going on.  Neighbors wonder WTF is that?  They have no clue what is under the sheet.  Guy is face down with the brush sticking up...all under the sheet of course.