User Panel
Posted: 3/7/2006 1:18:56 AM EDT
I am a nursing instructor in a large city. I send student to rotations through surgery. They have to write papers on the aspects and experience of the rotation.
He gets all gowned up walks in the surgical suite to see a man in stirups. Weird, what is this a prostate surgery, nope. The Dr. shoves an instrument in his ass and pulls out a large dildo. His report described it as very large in nature. How fucking embarrased could this guy be. I bet he wanted to crawl under a rock. My student said he talked to no one and would not make eye contact. Weird world! Bob |
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I once saw a copy of an x-ray of an anal-inserted beer bottle from the previous shift. It was funny because you could read the label on the film.
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Honest to god doc,it was a one in a million shot. |
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A few months ago there was a guy that can in the hospital I work at with a giant cucumber up his ass. Apparently his wife was waiting for him. Someone kept a copy of the x-ray.
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Lemme guess... His wife left her dildo in the shower...he slipped and fell, and the dildo somehow ended up in his ass |
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The live 40mm he grenade was worse that pic is on the web somewhere. |
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ALWAYS pick up after yourself.
If my kids were older I would show them this as an example |
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I was bored, so I did some googling. Found here |
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ouch |
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The town i live in hosts Alaska's MAximum Security prison, Spring Creek Correctional Facility. I know a few of the guards that work there and of course have heard the stories. In the "Big House" the art form of hiding objects in one's ass is affectionately known as "Keestering".
One inmate over there is known to have Keestered a 6" in diameter floor drain cover. Another was caught with a plastic bag in his rectum containing a cell phone (turned on and set on vibrate), its charger, 2 oz of loose tobacco, and rolling papers. His being found out spawned a slew of antics among the prisoners and guards, usually jokes containing the phrase "Can you hear me now?....Good." |
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Before removing it, maybe the doctor should have checked to see if all he wanted was the batteries changed.
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How appropriate that this subject come up this morning. Just hours ago, I sent an ambulance to a house because a guy had been talking on a 1-900 talk-dirty line and LOST A CARROT UP HIS ASS!
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But the reception was shitty......................... |
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That's nothing. After the holidays we had to send a guy to Surg for an Exploratory to remove a dildo that looked like a snow man yard decoration. He had his butty shove it in at midnight on new years and didn't come in until a week later. He got a colostomy.
It was so big I didn't see it immediately on the x-ray. I took up his whole decending colon! (then there was the guy last month who tried to put his dick in a Rotweilers mouth.....open scrotum for him. |
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I talked to a medic.... (?? What the hell do you call civilian medics? The guys who ride on ambulances.....I know there is another term for it) anyway.... He was done with a run, dropping someone off, but there was something going on in the ER. A woman had lost a vibrator, and it was still switched on. The entire staff knew about it, and was hovering around. A doctor finally extracted it, and I guess he put it on one of those stainless steel carts, which amplified the sound as it bounced around and hummed! I guess the whole hallway erupted in laughter! Gotta feel bad for her, but it is pretty funny.
ETA they are EMT's! |
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So I guess that saying IS true...."Idle hinds are the devil's playground!!!"
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Actually, most people call medics...medics. EMT's are a lower level of certification. That isn't a cut on them or anything, it just means they haven't taken or aren't taking the medic course yet. Where I work it's a MICU concept- one EMT and one medic on a truck.
In Pa. you have EMT-B(BASIC),EMT-P(PARAMEDIC). The DOH just announced they're coming out with an Intermediate level that other states have had for awhile, but nothing's been announced about classes yet. I've never seen any patients like this myself, but I did date a girl for awhile who lost a french tickler inside during sex. Her then boyfriend and her spent about 90 minutes frantically trying to get it out, once they did she said she didn't let him touch her for a week. |
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This thread requires posting of the Concrete Enema pics.
Story at www.well.com/user/cynsa/cement.html |
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He was just partying "Brokeback Mountain" style!!! |
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Remember on Jackass where the guy had the toy car up his butt? The east Indian Doc says something like:
"Better you dont tell anybody about this. Already too many people know." |
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Thats some funny shit right there. |
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Brown trout? -K |
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I thought they determined it was really a Halibutt? |
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NOT ONLY NO BUT, HELL NO! |
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I don't know why, but that makes me laugh! Just how stupid can a person be? |
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My dad had to remove a cucumber from someone's hole and another doc had to remove a pointy Christmas tree ornament.
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Its always either "I slipped and fell on it" or "My wife put it up there" ( sure buddy, whatever), IIRC.
Kharn |
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A on-air television personality from Springfield, IL went to the ER one night when her vibrator's removable attachment got, ahem, detached inside her vaginal cavity somewhere (hold the jokes about the echo... about the echo...). This was about 15 years ago, about the time I was graduating from the UI.
A professor from a nearby community college was copulating with her German Shepherd and became attached to said dog after said dog finished the act (don't ask me how). Ambulance/Fire rescue were dispatched. A friend works the ER at one the hospitals here locally (Champaign-Urbana, IL) and says rectal insertion problems occur at least once a month. Gerbils and other similar critters roughly quarterly. In a county of a couple hundred thousand. Now that's scary. John |
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Now that's a strange boating accident.z |
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For continued medical hilarity, I bring you the "Things I Learned from My Patients" thread from studentdoctor.net's residency forums. You'll laugh, you'll cry. It's a moving experience. (Don't start reading unless you have some time-- it is very long and very addicting.)
edited for spelling... |
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Rainbow............Trout.......... |
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How the hell does something just get away from you ?
Jesus, somebody needs to make a six foot dildo or something. You know, something you can tie off to the bedside before play time? |
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Someone find the trout thread.
It probly the funniest thing I have ever read on ARFCOM |
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archive.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=375418
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Can't...Fucking...Breathe |
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"commercially available 20 x 4 cm rubber dildo" As opposed to the "non commercially available" industrial model ???? |
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Got linked to this page tonight and well I had to share.
My EX wife was a medical assistant at an independent urgent care facility many years ago. They get most of the freaks over the regular ER thinking that it in some way they will be more or less anonymous to the world. This guy came in because of rectal bleeding and gave no real explanation as to what the problem might have been. The doctor in too much of a hurry and wanting to get home being that this guy was the last one of the day, gave him a rectal exam thinking he had a cyst that ruptured, and in the process cut his finger. Turns out the guy broke the end off of a fluorescent lamp up his ass. The Doc was pissed and for the next year or two was always getting checked for AIDS. I could go on with several stories but I will spare you all the sickness. After hearing a few of these stories I just asked the wife why don’t you just let these people die or refuse to help them at all. |
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