We had a week long field excericse this week, of course it was but ass cold, and boring as hell.

For those of you who don't know i am a member of a artillery battery, specifically 155mm self propeld paladins.

During the course of the week, the following quotes we're heard over the battery, and than battalion nets.

Gun 1:  Whats the hold up fdc, why are we in checkfire?
FDC:  Due to --- battery shooting out, we had to call Chuck Norris, he will be arriving soon to roundhouse kick all of your remaining rounds into the impact area. Immeaditly vacate your gun so he isnt forced to kill you.

I don't remember the setup to the other one, but battalion was attempting to verify something about us being able to range the iz with 5 grrenbag, whereupon the FDO got on the radio and informed them :
     "Chuck norris doesn't shoot charge 5 greenbag, he steps up into the back of the gun, throws all the powder out of the gunners hatch and proceeds to stare down the round in the tube untill it fires itself out of fear"

perhaps they arent as funny on here as they were while i was hearing them over the fire control nets, but i though i'd share just how much chuck comes up in everday conversation these days.

edited because my spelling fu is so very weak

Why am I not surprised?

Chuck met my wife in a gun store once. Before she succumbed to his advances in offering oral sex, he warmed her up by saying "How's that fish Taco today?"

IBTCNH

In Before The Chuck Norris Haters

Quoted: IBTCNH In Before The Chuck Norris Haters

I am one. You guys are all Gay.

For real, get over a man with a beard.

Quoted: Quoted: IBTCNH In Before The Chuck Norris Haters I am one. You guys are all Gay. For real, get over a man with a beard.

"All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women." W. C. Fields

Therapy will help.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: IBTCNH In Before The Chuck Norris Haters I am one. You guys are all Gay. For real, get over a man with a beard. "All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women." W. C. Fields Therapy will help.

I can relate. I am Italian, you should see my mother and sister....But thats not the point here.

So you are saying Chuck Norris is the Queen of Battle??

Quoted: So you are saying Chuck Norris is the Queen of Battle??

Artillery is King of Battle.
Infantry is Queen.

Damn, here I was thinking Chuck only showed up during morning formation...

Quoted: Damn, here I was thinking Chuck only showed up during morning formation...

Rick James always showed up to our morning formation.

-Ben