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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:40:38 PM EDT
Her first email to me is basically a one sentence "you're cute" kinda thing to get the ball rolling.
So, of course I go to check out her profile...  "I'm a thirty-something creative professional who enjoys all the wonderful activities Austin has to offer. Coffee spots, the hike and bike trails, art exhibits, live music, being with friends and spending time with my animals. I also love to play chess even though I stink at it. I enjoy academic conversations and discussing meaningful issues in a respectful way. I'm looking to meet and spend time with someone who is attractive, happy and stable, and who has some style and is culturally aware. And, to be honest, I tend to be attracted to younger, taller guys. The more liberal you are, the better since I am a vegetarian and believe in animal rights. If you are looking for an easy 'hook up,' or someone to 'hang out with,' then please do not contact me. I value physical fitness and health and expect anyone I date to do the same. If you're generally angry, overweight, an addict or recovering addict, or post photos of yourself without a shirt on taken in the bathroom, DO NOT CONTACT ME!! I'm looking forward to meeting highly intelligent, quality guys with a passion for life, a brilliant mind and a sincere heart with honorable intentions. I look forward to hearing from you." I realize this is gonna go nowhere fast, but not one to miss the opportunity to convert a wayward soul, I reply: " WOW! You're a breath of fresh air! :) I really respect your views on animal rights. Although I probably don't share them (depending on your reasons)- you practice what you preach. The world is full of meat eating anti-hunting people, and they drive me crazy. How can anyone be against hunting and eat meat??? ...and I'm definitely not a Liberal. I proudly voted for Bush in both elections, and I'm still glad I did. I'm no yellow dog though! He's made me so mad lately I can't even see straight!!! LOL Do you think there is anyway we could get past the distance between us, honey glazed ribs, and the GOP? :) - my name here - P.S. I don't hunt BTW. I have several firearms, and LOOOVE to target shoot, but I've just never been into hunting much. I guess I don't like deer meat enough to have 250 lbs. worth of it, and I'm not about to kill an animal just to give the meat to someone else." Yeah whatever  So I coddled her a little bit. I'm on a mission people!!!!She responds: "well....i really like your name, (my name), so that's a start. i don't know. the fact that you wrote 'proudly' terrifies me to be honest. you're funny, though and a good writer, so.....still don't know...you're totally right about hunting activists though. i'm a vegetarian for ETHICAL reasons and don't wear/ have leather or eat anything with a face and also oppose hunting. i doubt we could get past so many fundamental differences in our value systems. too bad cause you are a cutie. but, no. i don't think so. good luck!" Forget what she said, I'm still in if I want in. So the question remains...what exactly should I do here poll and pics incoming! |
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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:43:07 PM EDT
[#1]
Stick it in her pooper and post pics?
 
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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:45:28 PM EDT
[#2]
Be sure to check for Adams Apple...
Sounds like it could be Clean_Cut...! |
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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:45:49 PM EDT
[#3]
The next letter should be something short like
"You aren't fundamentally opposed to meeting me for a glass of wine are you?" ETA: Really, if you just rag on her for a while, she will probably do you just to make you like her. You know how liberals are! |
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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:46:48 PM EDT
[#4]
Tell her you belive an animal rights as well, "the dead animal goes right next to the mashed potatos".
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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:47:14 PM EDT
[#5]
get comfortable with each other. and if you have the opportunity to "have fun" use a real "sheepskin" condom.
who knows me and the spouse have differences but not let it get in the way. |
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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:47:44 PM EDT
[#6]
Ain't that the forbidden phrase? 
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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:47:52 PM EDT
[#7]
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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:48:15 PM EDT
[#8]
nice |
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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:48:50 PM EDT
[#9]
Now that!!! Is funny! |
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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:49:11 PM EDT
[#10]
i can't be alone with people like that with enduring and supressing extreme fits of rage.
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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:51:40 PM EDT
[#11]
All the time you will spend de-programming her is time that could be better spent in more agreeable company. Making a relationship work is hard enough when you share most of the same values and views - Dating outside your species makes it almost impossible.
Dump her, while it's still easy. |
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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:52:11 PM EDT
[#12]
No matter how good looking someone is... If she is single, it is becuase somewhere, someone, is sick of her shi&!. She is so hung up on so many things, If you two ever did get to the matress, she would be too rigid to enjoy it. And if you had a child could you put up with her force feeding him that liberal BS?
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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:54:18 PM EDT
[#13]
Yeah. I think the first vulger comment about "Bush and his terrorist buddies", would light the fuse. I have very little patience with people like that. |
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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:55:09 PM EDT
[#14]
Go for it man, ask her out on a date, she kind of looks like a high maintenance chick......
Translation: "I want a rich man, who can take care of me... " Good luck man.  |
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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:56:29 PM EDT
[#15]
But think of all the fun you could have slipping some type of Beef slurry into her soup.
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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:56:55 PM EDT
[#16]
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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:57:32 PM EDT
[#17]
Damn I need to find psycho chicks
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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:57:37 PM EDT
[#18]
"And, to be honest, I tend to be attracted to younger, taller guys." Don't forget that one. She may want a suggar daddy at the end of the day, but that ain't the only thing on her wish list
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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:57:53 PM EDT
[#19]
LOL... that's what I'm talking about.....
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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:58:41 PM EDT
[#20]
If it is I was not aware.... ETA: My use of the peeping smiley was to denote that I knew it's use was cliche... |
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Posted: 3/1/2006 9:01:32 PM EDT
[#21]
Not worth the trouble and effort that would be required IMO.
The stank crotch is better left alone sometimes and this would be one of those times. |
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Posted: 3/1/2006 9:02:13 PM EDT
[#22]
Good to hear it....
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Posted: 3/1/2006 9:03:42 PM EDT
[#23]
So from the picture, the chin is strategically positioned to hide the Adam's apple and the picture is deliberately cut off from the shoulder down so you don't see the 400 lbs hanging from the neck. Trust me, the internet dating thing is highly overrated.
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Posted: 3/1/2006 9:03:46 PM EDT
[#24]
She is looking for a gay male. 
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Posted: 3/1/2006 9:06:36 PM EDT
[#25]
Make sure to use "lamb skins"! |
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Posted: 3/1/2006 9:08:04 PM EDT
[#26]
Shes probally neurotic , being single at her age , probally has "birthday partys for her cats"- and definatly would want to domineer you with her lib B.S. --- that being said ---- go hit dat !!
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Posted: 3/1/2006 9:15:12 PM EDT
[#27]
That's great! |
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Posted: 3/1/2006 9:17:39 PM EDT
[#28]
 Not worth your time, in my opinion. Some just can't be helped. I know plenty here will say to tell her you're not beyond convincing, play the role, nail her, and then be like "nope, your right, this just won't work." But, good lord, there are so many beautiful, intelligent, regular conservative (or even better, libertarian) women out there... hell, some of them (a few at least) are even SANE, which this dame clearly is not. |
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Posted: 3/1/2006 9:21:15 PM EDT
[#29]
That is the Liberal way..... I say go out with her, see if you can open her up (especially between the thighs) to your views. She might never have actually talked with someone who didn't spout the Liberal BS that she's been indoctrinated to. Also, I've never eaten anything with a face.....we cut the heads off the fish, split the chicken into quarters, and grind and chop the cow, before we cook them. Re-reading her info...she seems pretty shallow... "spending time with my animals",)means she has a house fuill of cats) "discussing meaningful issues in a respectful way" (means every sits around agreeing and don't want difference in thought), "someone who is attractive" (cause ugly people are not into coffee, hiking, biking, art exhibits, music, chess, happy, stable, or culturally aware). No Expert |
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Posted: 3/1/2006 9:41:04 PM EDT
[#30]
Tell her she is being very intolerant of other peoples beliefs.
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Posted: 3/1/2006 9:50:51 PM EDT
[#31]
On a side note:
I just searched through what this one site had to offer. Are you sitting down for this one?  I'm not so sure about this online dating thing
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Posted: 3/1/2006 9:58:29 PM EDT
[#32]
D_O_P might let this one go. Remember though, it would not be proper to show her your ammo fort until at least the third date. |
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Posted: 3/1/2006 9:58:40 PM EDT
[#33]
That's one happy vampire! |
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Posted: 3/1/2006 10:13:45 PM EDT
[#34]
There are plently of other fish in the sea... this bitch is going to find a man with no balls sooner or later.
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Posted: 3/1/2006 10:22:08 PM EDT
[#35]
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Posted: 3/1/2006 10:26:44 PM EDT
[#36]
You can forget kinky sex and a 3some with another girl with this sentence alone. |
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Posted: 3/1/2006 10:33:26 PM EDT
[#37]
[snip]If you are looking for an easy 'hook up,' or someone to 'hang out with,' then please do not contact me.[/snip] I'd pass, screw (and I dont mean literally) that moonbat
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Posted: 3/1/2006 10:43:38 PM EDT
[#38]
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Posted: 3/1/2006 10:44:16 PM EDT
[#39]
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Posted: 3/1/2006 10:50:34 PM EDT
[#40]
They're all neurotic, no matter the age or the relationship status. All of them. DoP, you should've pretended to be a liberal, hit it, and when you had her bent over a table shouted "I VOTED FOR BUSH!" That would've been funny. |
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Posted: 3/1/2006 10:53:19 PM EDT
[#41]
Hell yeah, so hit it. Come on, try the pie  then post pics while telling us what libtard pie is like 
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Posted: 3/1/2006 11:03:24 PM EDT
[#42]
Lets cut the bull.. It's not going to happen, and if it does, you'll have a hell of a time making it end.
Move on and find some real woman. |
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Posted: 3/1/2006 11:07:53 PM EDT
[#43]
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Posted: 3/2/2006 1:12:45 AM EDT
[#44]
Do whatever you need to get her to meet you for coffee, and then whip her ass at chess. Leave laughing.
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Posted: 3/2/2006 2:07:50 AM EDT
[#45]
I'm nearly positive she has a porn site.
I will try and think of her name and do a google search. IM wolfpack, he's somewhat of a connoisseur. |
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Posted: 3/2/2006 2:21:05 AM EDT
[#46]
Forget it, man.
It's Austin. It's not really even TX. Sounds like a liberal ho that's looking for a sugar daddy. |
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Posted: 3/2/2006 2:31:56 AM EDT
[#47]
Meet her and make her happy by eating her beaver! And then feed her some hot tube steak.
After you're done having your way with her, take her out to a good steak house and prepare for a VERY good time. CJ |
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Posted: 3/2/2006 2:33:32 AM EDT
[#48]
Save your money, your time, and your mind. This type is trouble in the long run. She will find something to be pissed off about and call the cops, key your car, or stalk you. Do you want to deal with that kind of crap because she posed as something to get over on? Why bother? In the end you may get to bang her but walk away from this moonbat. Her message is designed to play with your head and she is doing just that. Be a man. Do the right thing and flip her off. Then go find somebody normal.
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Posted: 3/2/2006 3:56:38 AM EDT
[#49]
There are too many "sane" women in the world to even consider messing around with this psycho! I know this type, while the outside may look good, evil lurks below. If you're going to hit it, wear a condom and run like hell afterwards!
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Posted: 3/2/2006 4:02:52 AM EDT
[#50]
hit it, n forget it
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