User Panel
Posted: 2/22/2006 8:58:59 PM EDT
Okay, for shits and giggles (and counterintel) I've decided to infiltrate a counterrecruiter meeting. Unfortunately, I've gotten a bit of a reputation among the loonies and I can almost bet there'll be two or three ppl there that can recognize me if they get a good look. I'm counting on the crowd being large enough that I can be incognito, but hey, I'll play it by ear.
So how do I change my appearance? Not enough time to grow out my hair, and I don't have terribly much stubble. Can I fake that with shoe polish? I'm thinking glasses are my best bet (not sunglasses, that's too obvious). Where can i get zero prescription glasses or something similar? Get a low prescription version of the drugstore reading glasses? |
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make sure you stop showering immediately!
And get some patchouli (sp) to cover up the funk. |
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get one of those baggy hats they wear, some patched pants, sandles, a grateful dead shirt, don't bathe. That kind of stuff might help
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Hippie? Shit your pants and wear food stains on your shirt and pants. At least that's the way they do it in Boulder.
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khaki pants, jewelry made of hemp and stupid colored beads, sunglasses with wimpy green tint, preferably something with circular frames. T-shirt meant to offend at least someone who is not a minority. Birkenstocks, bonus points for manicured toes.
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Don't forget the patchoili stink and the crappy music! And remember, everything is Bush's fault!
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DAMN.....I wanted to make the first Boulder Hippie joke!!!!!! |
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Well, then you're about 40 years too late. |
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I dont care how high they are, shoe polish isn't a good idea :p. Maybe a real disqusting dreadlock wig and a big stupid hat. :).
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Thanks for the tips. My boss is going to wonder just what the hell I'm doing, but hey, I'm IT and I only dress up when we see clients.
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About 18 hrs or so before you go there drop 2-3 hits of acid and just go with it man.....
Say dude a bunch, talk about Phish, drink kind brews and maybe talk about how you can't wait for the next show. |
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No showers! No shaving! Do not wear any clean clothes. If you've got any pants that are just a little too big, start wearing them now! Change the oil in your car in 'em, spill something on them, anything to get some grease on 'em. Then, before the thing, throw on a t-shirt, those pants, whatever dirty shoes, and a clean, yet wrinkled, long-sleeved collared shirt. Don't button it all the way. Here's the clincher. Get a pair of arty looking glasses. The glasses must say, "hipper-than-thou". Artsy glasses + greasy messed up hair = cool. Know what I'm sayin'? Then, when you've got your costume on, you'll need some lines. Try saying that Trey Anastasio(sp?) is a genius, and that you totally took the sick line on the climbing wall. Mention kayaks and Edward Abbey books, and you're in. And, if they start talking about anything that seams exceptionally stupid, like a BBQ is about to happen, or talking with some relative outside, or a guy named Chief, they're going outside to smoke pot. Trust me, I'm around these idiots every day. They make me laugh, they'll grow up, I hope. Let us know how it turns out. Cheers! |
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Top to bottom:
Get one of those crocheted black-red-yellow-green tams. Check at Goodwill or equivalent for a used one, else wash it several times to make it look well-used. Alternately shaved head ok, but the white skin will show up bad, and a close shave will have razor rash that will be a giveaway. Do a pig-shave with a number one, leaving a uniform stubble. If no earrings, then an ear cuff worn high on the ear is as good. Go for a soul-patch, the under the lower lip hair growth. Even a minimal one will help if the rest of the face is well shaved. Some bead/leather thong neckless is good, but low key and not new. It has to look like a style you have worn for years. Che or Bob Marley t-shirt is optimum, or some tye-dye or marijuana leaf pattern. Again not new, wash it a bunch to fade and wear. Again check at Goodwill. Some worn brocade vest is a nice touch, or even a tacky smoking jacket may be acceptable, but then you are looking like a trend setter rather than a conformist hippy. Jeans (even faded) are not right, go for some worn trouser or fatigues (never woodland camo). Baggy shorts will work as well. Birkenstock's with (slouching) wool socks (stretch them out) are the best, otherwise Teva sandals with no socks. Footwear will give you away, and it has to look well worn/natural. Stay up late and go for little sleep; that will help the face and body posture look fatigued. If you hold yourself alert that will trigger the wrong cues, so a bit of casual slothardness is a plus. Wear the clothes for the previous day and/or sleep in them so the fabrics do not have that crisp look that some people cannot get away from. They need to have the limp look that comes from well worn fabrics even if they are clean. |
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We don't have any of those in my department, but I see them all the time playing hacky-sack and frisbee around campus. Not all of them have long hair, so you might be OK on that one. Instead of thinking "hippie", think "enlightened college-student socialist".
None of them shave. Stop shaving now and you should have enough stubble to pass. As long as your hair isn't clipped short, it'll be OK. Just don't wash it or comb it for about two days before the event. If it is clipped short, shave your head completely. Get the stupidest looking, artsy glasses you can find with just display lenses in them. Wear a Che shirt, baggy, faded jeans, and sandals. "Yeah, man, Bush is a total facist." and "Bush and his corporate masters are ruining this country for working people." should be enough to get you through any conversation with them. There is a good chance that the ones that might recognize you will be high. Just lurk around the walls and you should be OK. Red-don has it nailed. Your appearance should scream "failure". |
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the eyes never lie brotha!
you have to wear glasses, like it or not. best option would be the small blue or yellow john lennon / greatful dead round style glasses. the eyes are always recognizelable. DONT SHAVE! and multiple layers may help you look heavier throwing off your frame size. plus the heavier clothes help you hide your .45 better. hey, these may be hippys, but 30 of them beating you with anti-bush signs could easily cause you a headache. never underestimate stupid people in large groups. you have 5 days to grow 3 ounces of pot. get some snack food and get started! |
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Becoming a hippie is easy.
Stop showering, stop shaving, don't change your clothes, and work up a good marijuana stink. boom. Instant hippie. |
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Take a look at your arms, if you have any muscles you're gonna get busted.
Bad posture and messed up hair are a must. |
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why bother with "counter intelligence"? trying to feed some fantasies hmm?
But to realisitcally look like a hippie, simply buy a complete set of hemp clothes, wear something "worldly" like a tibetain prayer necklace (or something) and be sure to reek of incense. Don't forget to not shave, and skip showering a day or two before. More than that and you'll only get more attention onto yourself |
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you are going to stand out like a sore thumb,
the only way I can see you blending in is if you smack yourself with a baseball bat enough times that you become so stupid that you both look and act that part. Unfortunatly such a disguise is permanent. |
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how old are you, if i may ask... and also (pm if you want) where exactly are you going...
i have quite a few lib friends, i can get some insight but there are differing degrees of how they look and act.... "dressing like a hippie" may make you stand out as someone looking to do just that.... -Roth |
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dont do any of that shit.. putting a costume on will look exactly like your wearing a costume. This is what you do go dressed in what you might wear around the house jeans and a t shirt then if you have a dog or acess to one bring it with you if your meeting is inside all the better bring your dog right on in and act like its perfectly ok to have a dog inside. its also ok if you bring some water for said pooch that you carry in a mountain climbing jug that hangs from something on your person also wouldnt hurt if you and the dog shared a language that only the two of you understood
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Just put a stupid grin on your face, squint, and giggle once in a while. Don't forget to squint and randomly stare at stuff for way longer than normal. And laugh about it.
Oh, and pretty shiney things distract you. Most stoners readily accept other stoners no matter what they look like. |
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Yea, that's basically the idea. Gonna wear the most beatup clothes I have. |
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You know the real reason you're doing this is to pick up on some hippy bitches-isn't it? But I admire your tactical strategery.
Remember-hippy is NOT a state of hair, it is a state of MIND. Don't forget to say "FUCK YEAH!" and "FUCK BUSH!" a lot also. I agree with the Che Guevara shirt. And some of the halloween wigs these days look incredibly real. Wear a camo M-65 jacket. While hippys hate the military, they sure do love military clothing items! Also-you had beter be packing. Because if they make you as an infiltrator, even anti-war tree-hugging hippys can be some of the most violent mo-fo's out there!!! They will beat you mercilessly! |
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Stop shaving?
WAIT...thats what girls do to look like hippy scum. |
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Some very good ideas here. I'm thinking you need to be subtle about this. It takes a lifetime to become a true hippie. Instead, you need to go for: effeminate-nerdy-dirtbag-yuppie-girlyman.
Alternatively, just be yourself but angrier. Just a Regular Joe, who is so disgusted with the warmongering neo-cons that he finally has decided to take a stand. They believe that Regular Joe is on their side, so it will be an easy sell. |
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I loathe the counterrecruiters and have been wondering how to stop/hinder them, protestwarrior style. It's a fairly new phenomenon and unlike their anti-war activities, I'm not familiar with their SOP. Intel is always a good thing. |
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Conterintel may be too SSDG mall-ninjaish, but my experiences have been in keeping their infiltrators out of our events - my first priority was always information security and misinformation. Have always considered turning the tables but I'm too well known on campus to do that. |
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please post a pic of what you look like when you head out for the meet - I have to see this.
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Oh-don't forget to have a Starbuck's Frappuchino or something with you, a raggedy-ass sweater and pull up to the meeting with Jewell or Alanis Morissette blaring out of your car stereo.
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Yea, this is what NUCdt was talking about. It's hippie not yuppie. The frappuchino'll get me tossed faster than you can say "corporate whore" The classification of hte left is quite interesting; would make for a fine anthropology paper. |
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If youve never been a hippy/leftist, and only have a coupel of days....you WILL stand out. I would recommend not trying to be something your not. I don't know what it is but it stands out.
I remember (back in college days) a party where a couple of guys were there that just didnt fit in. Even though they wore "hip" cloths and knew the lingo. They were just jocks that knew alot of the people there but they stood out. You work with computers? be a computer nerd then, dress like one. You can talk like one. But do talk about how you hate bush, its his fault etc etc etc. Glasses is a good idea but go for some plain frame type (your a nerd) dont go for the "hippy" type Anyway, have fun. |
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