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Posted: 2/22/2006 7:39:41 AM EDT
I got home last evening and put some corn-dogs in the microwave. Sat down to check my e-mail and pulled my 1911 out of the holster and laid it on the desk.
When my corndogs were done I walked over an got them out of the microwave. I then saw the flip top squeze mustard bottle sitting on the counter and carried it back to my seat along with the corndogs. When I went to squeeze out some mustard....nothing happened. Ah-ha  , it has some dried mustard in the opening......looking at the hole in the top of the mustard bottle....I squeezed.......AAAHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGG......I now have a face full of mustard and mustard in my eyes. Shit , shit, shit!  It stings, it stings!!I've done some dumb shit in my life, but shooting myself in the face with mustard ranks right up there with the dumbest!  |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 7:40:21 AM EDT
[#1]
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Posted: 2/22/2006 7:41:06 AM EDT
[#2]
 BTDT |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 7:41:26 AM EDT
[#3]
Glock or Ploch mustard?
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Posted: 2/22/2006 7:41:53 AM EDT
[#4]
i thought i heard the sound of a woman screaming last night.
glad your are ok |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 7:44:06 AM EDT
[#5]
did you swallow?
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Posted: 2/22/2006 7:45:55 AM EDT
[#6]
Nice hook! I was waiting for the "face and eyes full of mustard, I grabbed at the desk and [BOOM]" |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 7:47:30 AM EDT
[#7]
+1 |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 7:53:31 AM EDT
[#8]
so..... you shot it all over yourself?
was it a full power shot? |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 7:58:21 AM EDT
[#9]
BAN MUSTARD!........................for the Children.
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Posted: 2/22/2006 8:00:57 AM EDT
[#10]
Pretty up on the ole lingo for only joining this month...What was your locked account? |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 8:02:03 AM EDT
[#11]
Nocturnal Discharge? What are you, twelve?
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Posted: 2/22/2006 8:03:30 AM EDT
[#12]
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Posted: 2/22/2006 8:04:58 AM EDT
[#13]
mustard bukake
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Posted: 2/22/2006 8:12:19 AM EDT
[#14]
Watch that muzzle!
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Posted: 2/22/2006 8:17:05 AM EDT
[#15]
THAT, gentlemen, is why we wear eye protection at all times!
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Posted: 2/22/2006 8:17:56 AM EDT
[#16]
Remember, only YOU can prevent negligent condiment discharges!
1. There is no such thing as half-full or empty condiment squeeze bottle - always treat them like they are loaded! 2. Maintain good nozzle discipline at all times - Never, ever point a loaded comdiment squeeze bottle at anyone or anything you do not intend to squirt! 3. Do not squeeze the condiment squeeze bottle until you have the comestible in your sights! 4. Never ever look into the business end of a loaded condiment squeeze bottle while squeezing! |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 8:27:07 AM EDT
[#17]
With your permission, I'll be printing that out and posting it on the refer door.
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Posted: 2/22/2006 8:30:35 AM EDT
[#18]
Of course 
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Posted: 2/22/2006 8:34:02 AM EDT
[#19]
Na.. he peeked at Jason's latest pic's in the Team forum and got stickey shorts from it.
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Posted: 2/22/2006 8:37:40 AM EDT
[#20]
Good thing Glock does not make mustard. The KB would have coated much more than just your face.
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Posted: 2/22/2006 8:37:51 AM EDT
[#21]
+a gazillion Evil mustard, simply evil. Mothers Against Mustard rise up! |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 8:38:46 AM EDT
[#22]
+1 
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Posted: 2/22/2006 8:41:48 AM EDT
[#23]
You know somehow, in some way this is Bush's fault
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Posted: 2/22/2006 8:44:32 AM EDT
[#24]
Good thing no one was hurt. I'm sure the damage will buff right out!
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Posted: 2/22/2006 8:44:36 AM EDT
[#25]
You think? I was going to blame it on the Danish newspaper cartoonists. |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 8:45:58 AM EDT
[#26]
Didnt ya hear? Bush commissioned those cartoons thats his fault too. |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 9:24:56 AM EDT
[#27]
At first I though I had become a victim of the Evil Halliburton Mustard Machine....but then the realization of my own stupidity sank in...
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Posted: 2/22/2006 9:35:44 AM EDT
[#28]
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Posted: 2/22/2006 9:39:42 AM EDT
[#29]
I hope you don`t do press checks while looking down the barrel of your 1911.
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Posted: 2/22/2006 10:51:28 AM EDT
[#30]
Why did you have the safety off?? Not smart.
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Posted: 2/22/2006 12:47:03 PM EDT
[#31]
It was one of them 'squeze-cockers'!
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Posted: 2/22/2006 12:55:52 PM EDT
[#32]
 IT BURNS!!!!!!!!! |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 1:00:53 PM EDT
[#33]
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Posted: 2/22/2006 1:10:12 PM EDT
[#34]
Don't beat yourself up, dude.
That was obviously a accidental discharge and not a negligent discharge, due to a faulty design of the mustard bottle. (Although your maintenance of the weap ...... I mean the mustard bottle does leave something to be desired). I don't want to sound preachy, but you'll think twice the next time you pick up that mustard bottle, won't you?  |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 1:13:04 PM EDT
[#35]
You had me going there for a minute.
I was wondering if the shit storm had begun yet. Danny
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Posted: 2/22/2006 1:13:18 PM EDT
[#36]
Ya right, it was probably mayo (get it?)
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Posted: 2/22/2006 1:13:34 PM EDT
[#37]
that is fricken funny!
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Posted: 2/22/2006 1:16:11 PM EDT
[#38]
....and he put that on his corndog and ate it? 
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Posted: 2/22/2006 1:28:06 PM EDT
[#39]
Now, I'm skeered of mustard. I'll just settle for ketchup from now on. |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 1:52:26 PM EDT
[#40]
I somewhat took this from _DR's post:
   Remember Nozzle awareness is key, you never want to squirt your fries when you ment to squirt your burger... ETA: yes I didnt spell children correctly but you get the point. |
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Posted: 2/22/2006 4:37:59 PM EDT
[#41]
The middle picture SCARED me!!
That's exactly what it looked like when it went off!!OH THE HUMANITY!! |
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