So, there was this patient at work the other day....

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - So, there was this patient at work the other day....

Posted: 2/17/2006 5:39:15 PM EDT

He came in to the ER with a testicle hanging out of his sack and some trauma to his genitals.
He said "I tried to put my penis in a rotweiller's mouth".

Straight out, no lies.No joke, I'm serious.

Posted: 2/17/2006 5:39:40 PM EDT

[#1]

holy
fucking
hell

Posted: 2/17/2006 5:43:22 PM EDT

[#2]

what the hell is it with some people and animals? i just don't get it. serves him right for trying to get freaky with the pooch!

Posted: 2/17/2006 5:44:51 PM EDT

[#3]

And I paid a urologist $2500 do do the same thing

Posted: 2/17/2006 5:45:08 PM EDT

[#4]

Posted: 2/17/2006 5:46:23 PM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:
He came in to the ER with a testicle hanging out of his sack and some trauma to his genitals.
He said "I tried to put my penis in a rotweiller's mouth".
Straight out, no lies.No joke, I'm serious.

...and you live six miles from that God-warrior nutcase?

Dude, you need to move, NOW.

Posted: 2/17/2006 5:46:31 PM EDT

[#6]

Guess we found out he was not "Alfa" enough to hump her into submission. Glad She was not gonna take it..

Posted: 2/17/2006 5:46:47 PM EDT

[#7]

Maybe he spread some peanut-butter down there, and let the dog go to work on it.....but the dog got a little too enthusiastic.

Posted: 2/17/2006 5:47:18 PM EDT

[#8]

How drunk would you need to be for that to be a good idea?
I still won't feed our dog "snausages"...Don't want him getting a Pavlovian reaction and an urge for a midnight snack while I'm sleeping...

Posted: 2/17/2006 5:55:01 PM EDT

[#9]

They local department had a child molester that tried to punch out a very mean K-9 a few years back. He was in boxers and trying to flee. This was a large GS (schultzland) grabbed him by the crouch, ate the left one. I got assigned to "look" for it the dog smiled and burped.
Asshat was later covicted of 27 counts of ChMo.
There is justice sometimes

Posted: 2/17/2006 6:07:56 PM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:
They local department had a child molester that tried to punch out a very mean K-9 a few years back. He was in boxers and trying to flee. This was a large GS (schultzland) grabbed him by the crouch, ate the left one. I got assigned to "look" for it the dog smiled and burped.
Asshat was later covicted of 27 counts of ChMo.
There is justice sometimes

I love a story with a happy ending!

Posted: 2/17/2006 6:10:34 PM EDT

[#11]

A friend that I went to school with went to work in an ER in Nashville TN. He told me stories that had me in stitches.

Posted: 2/17/2006 6:12:32 PM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
Maybe he spread some peanut-butter down there, and let the dog go to work on it.....but the dog got a little too enthusiastic.

and just how the hell would a Glock basher like yourself know something like this?

Posted: 2/17/2006 6:12:46 PM EDT

[#13]

Dumb ass!!! You are not supposed to do that with a rottie. Everyone knows that Huskies are where it's at.

Posted: 2/17/2006 6:14:48 PM EDT

[#14]

Posted: 2/17/2006 6:15:09 PM EDT

[#15]

It's gotta be true, or else he wasted post 1911 on THAT

Posted: 2/17/2006 6:15:54 PM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
Dumb ass!!! You are not supposed to do that with a rottie. Everyone knows that Huskies are where it's at.

+1?

-Foxxz

Posted: 2/17/2006 6:24:11 PM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
He came in to the ER with a testicle hanging out of his sack and some trauma to his genitals.
He said "I tried to put my penis in a rotweiller's mouth".
Straight out, no lies.No joke, I'm serious.

Hopefully, they gave him an on the spot vasectomy...
Guy should lose his right to reproduce...

Posted: 2/17/2006 6:39:09 PM EDT

[#18]

Guy to his buddies: "Man am i drunk, I'm gonna show off by shoving my genitals in my dogs mouth!"

Dog: "Cool a Snausage!"..."Chomp"!

Posted: 2/17/2006 7:09:56 PM EDT

[#19]

Damn Rottweilers! Ban 'em for the.... er... the..... ummmmm.............. oh boy....

-K

Posted: 2/17/2006 7:16:44 PM EDT

[#20]

A beagle wouldn't have done that.

Posted: 2/17/2006 7:18:41 PM EDT

[#21]

So he drove the three days from San Francisco to your practice in LA ... nahh, I suppose he flew.

Posted: 2/17/2006 7:21:03 PM EDT

[#22]

I still won't feed our dog "snausages"...Don't want him getting a Pavlovian reaction and an urge for a midnight snack while I'm sleeping

yeah, I have the same worry. Except with me I won't feed him foot long hotdogs...

Posted: 2/17/2006 7:24:29 PM EDT

[#23]

Too bad you couldn't euthanize that idiot.

Posted: 2/17/2006 7:27:09 PM EDT

[#24]

somewhere a sheep is crying...

Posted: 2/17/2006 7:30:21 PM EDT

[#25]

Well....Darwin tried. Please tell me you could not save the testicles.

Posted: 2/17/2006 7:33:27 PM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
Maybe he spread some peanut-butter down there, and let the dog go to work on it.....but the dog got a little too enthusiastic.

Ha! Peanut Butter Panic! All dogs get it!

Posted: 2/17/2006 11:44:32 PM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:
Quoted:
He came in to the ER with a testicle hanging out of his sack and some trauma to his genitals.
He said "I tried to put my penis in a rotweiller's mouth".
Straight out, no lies.No joke, I'm serious.

...and you live six miles from that God-warrior nutcase?

Dude, you need to move, NOW.

BESTIALITY IS SO DARK SIDED!!!!

Posted: 2/17/2006 11:53:05 PM EDT

[#28]

Nice post 1911.

Posted: 2/17/2006 11:53:42 PM EDT

[#29]

THIS WHOLE THREAD!!

Posted: 2/18/2006 1:45:11 AM EDT

[#30]

I would think that one would need an immense amount of confidence in their technique to risk engaging with an animal that can kill you if it's not impressed....
~

Posted: 2/18/2006 1:48:34 AM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:
somewhere a sheep is crying...

Posted: 2/18/2006 1:53:15 AM EDT

[#32]

[chihuahua] "Yo quiero Taco Bell. [/chihuahua]

Posted: 2/18/2006 2:34:43 AM EDT

[#33]

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over?

I believe you, but DAYUM! Some people are so screwed in the head there ain't no fixin em. Did he say why this moment of sheer brilliance presented itself?

Er, never mind... I don't even want to know.

The best stories come from cops and emergency room employees. There are a lot of freaks out there.

Posted: 2/18/2006 2:41:47 AM EDT

[#34]

I like black labs myself.WTF does this guy see in a Rott?

Posted: 2/18/2006 2:48:29 AM EDT

[#35]

OK, everybody knows that a dog will lick ANYTHING that's covered in peanut butter or bacon grease.

But you don't have to prove it! Least of all with your own anatomy!

Sick, twisted freaks!

CJ