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Posted: 2/17/2006 6:46:56 AM EDT
Nurse just called about Monday's physical. Protein in wee-wee, high triglycerides (I think that's what she said) and something about blood sugar. They want me to fast, then come in for 3 vein punctures to test for pre-diabetic something.
Give it to me straight. The Golf Superstore is 15 min. away and two trips to Vegas are scheduled in the next month. Should I start blowing money like a drunken sailor or what? Could it be lupus? Scoliosis? Cancer? 
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Posted: 2/17/2006 6:48:45 AM EDT
[#1]
You better start going through massive amount of hookers and blow just to be sure...
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Posted: 2/17/2006 6:52:05 AM EDT
[#2]
Sounds like SARS to me
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Posted: 2/17/2006 6:54:47 AM EDT
[#3]
It's scoliolupus melitus. You will descend quickly into madness, if you haven't already begun. You really shouldn't possess firearms in your condition, better send them to me for safe keeping until you recover. The treatment usually doesn't take more than a few years.
 Seriously, it sounds like you may be pre-diabetic. I'd say the worst you're looking at is siesmic shift in your diet and lifestyle.  CO |
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Posted: 2/17/2006 6:55:02 AM EDT
[#4]
Send me your guns for disposal. Quick!
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Posted: 2/17/2006 6:55:25 AM EDT
[#5]
+1 for hookers!
(the wife just looked me weird) |
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Posted: 2/17/2006 6:55:46 AM EDT
[#6]
The good news is, it ain't gonna be lupus. The bad news is, you're probably gonna have to give up twinkies, beer, and gravy. 
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:10:24 AM EDT
[#7]
Lay off the sugar, excercise and lose weight.
Sounds like you are either diabetic or heading there. And sounds like your doc is all over it. 
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:12:36 AM EDT
[#8]
Doc said I had protein in my wee-wee too. Turned out I dropped a piece of beef jerky in the cup when I was taking a leak.
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:20:06 AM EDT
[#9]
So, everything I live for is now off limits. Fuck it. I'm gonna take a quarter mil. bankroll to Vegas both times. $300 an hour hookers for at least 15 min. every two days. Cubans and Martinis. I'm dead.
Here's a list of some of the good stuff. I'll start shipping them when the end is in sight. First dibs gets it. ONE PER PERSON! All new in box unless otherwise noted. Armalite .50 BMG Wilson Combat Urban Tactical - Zeiss 3X9 FAL SA58 (?) .308 (about $1,500 I think....mind is going fast) Conv. Uzi .45 & 9mm Weatherby .300 mag Browning Auto 5 (the humpback one) Walther P-88 Colt Gold Cup 70 series Glock 22 (10mm) S&W 1066 (couple hundred rounds) Colt .357 Stainless 4" some snake, not python S&W Mod. 51 S&W Mod. 629 S&W Mod. 59 (3-400 rounds) will check inventory for others.....get your picks in early....I'm feeling worse by the minute! S&W 422 S&W SW9F (?) 9mm several Colt and S&W carry .38s hundreds of rounds of .308, .556, 9mm, 10mm, .44mag, .22, Uzi 9mm and 45, Wilson, FAL. Mod. 59 and 1066 extra mags. 
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:23:43 AM EDT
[#10]
SOLD! |
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:23:45 AM EDT
[#11]
I call dibs |
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:24:02 AM EDT
[#12]
Armalite 50 please
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:26:22 AM EDT
[#13]
C'mon it can't be THAT bad. I had high levels of something when I donated blood. Came in for followup and it turned out to be BS.
BTW, in any event, I'll put dibs on the FAL/SA58! 
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:27:21 AM EDT
[#14]
Dibs on the Colt Gold Cup 70 series
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:27:41 AM EDT
[#15]
Sounds to me like you Drink alot? Am I correct?
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:29:14 AM EDT
[#16]
I'll take ANYTHING that is 10mm
on a serious note, go to the doc, it may not be as bad as you think. |
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:29:33 AM EDT
[#17]
Dude just come over and let me put the speculum in. We will have a diagnosis instantly.
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:30:24 AM EDT
[#18]
Send it all to me! And quit whining!  Follow the advice of your doc and you will be healthier and happier. Of course you can always go the blind, impotent, dialyzed amputee in a wheelchair route.
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:31:00 AM EDT
[#19]
ME SA SAY YOU GONNA DIE....
REGARDS, DR. JAR-JAR BINX |
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:33:53 AM EDT
[#20]
No, I don't drink a lot. But I'm gonna start!!!
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:35:27 AM EDT
[#21]
Alcohol consumption can definitely elevate your triglycerids. As can sugar. |
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:38:57 AM EDT
[#22]
I'm headed for the Superstore. You guys divide it up fairly so I can get it in my will ASAP.
 I'll print out the final version and take it to my attorney. Leave a pistol or two for the little woman. |
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:41:54 AM EDT
[#23]
LOL. That ought to do the trick.
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Posted: 2/17/2006 8:23:16 AM EDT
[#24]
Let your doctor get back to you after the vein punctures. If you have diabetes, you can still lead a regular life. So, don't blow your money. |
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Posted: 2/17/2006 8:45:13 AM EDT
[#25]
tag for actual diagnosis.
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Posted: 2/17/2006 8:58:27 AM EDT
[#26]
Diabetes is manageable! Control your carbs and you'll do fine... Carbs turn into sugar..It's not just table sugar or sweets that you need to avoid. That's a BIG misconception about diabetes. You'll see diabetics saying no to sugary desserts, but they'll eat a huge plate of pasta with bread and then have sugar free cookies for dessert. Guess what? Your blood sugar is going to go through the roof even though you didn't have any "sugar".... Watch the carbs and you'll do fine with the meds the doc puts you on.
I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in 1999... Lower carb diet works great for me. My blood sugars are within normal range. |
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Posted: 2/17/2006 9:05:19 AM EDT
[#27]
I just want a .38.
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Posted: 2/17/2006 9:05:32 AM EDT
[#28]
Umm I'm no doctor, but everything I have read and heard from doctors and dieticians; CARBS turn to GLUCOSE not SUGAR. Sure sugar turns to GLUCOSE as well. Diabetics need to control GLUCOSE to keep blood sugar levels below 100(??). Of course.....I'm not doctor or dietician....or a beautician  for that fact.....so.......Lo Carb diet works for me too. I try to keep my carb intake between 50-75grams a day. |
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Posted: 2/17/2006 9:55:20 AM EDT
[#29]
Glucose is sugar (blood sugar). Sucrose is table sugar. Fructos is sugar found in fruit... As I understand it, but I'm not a dietician either 
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Posted: 2/17/2006 11:00:19 AM EDT
[#30]
What about dextrose and maltose?
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Posted: 2/17/2006 11:15:04 AM EDT
[#31]
Pasta is the worst. I have several friends that have various blood sugar issues.
I should get mine checked. I keep telling myself that. I am worried the doc will tell me I am dying. I am perfectly healthy and rarely get sick. One thing is for sure, each day passing brings us a day closer to death. Live life so you don't get to death's door wishing you had done things in the past. Live for the moment. |
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Posted: 2/17/2006 11:37:27 AM EDT
[#32]
Heh...see....not a doctor or dietician.....wouldn't even make a good mortician. Damn big words  That's why I'm sticking to finance.
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Posted: 2/17/2006 12:06:26 PM EDT
[#33]
Hope things aren't as bad as your imagination is making them.
That being said.......Browning Auto 5 please.
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Posted: 2/17/2006 1:31:29 PM EDT
[#34]
I'm dying here and guys are arguing about carbs, glucose and other stupid stuff.
 If nothing else I'll have my attorney (low life thieving bastard) put all the team members names in a hat and just draw names. Don't let them just sit around like I did. Go out and have some fun with them. They won't be much use.
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Posted: 2/17/2006 2:02:33 PM EDT
[#35]
Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news.
Patient: Give me the bad news. Doctor: You have 24 hours to live. Patient: OMG!! Well, what's the good news? Doctor: Ya see that cute receptionist when you came in? Patient: Yeah. Doctor: I'm doin' her. |
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Posted: 2/17/2006 2:24:26 PM EDT
[#36]
Hell, don't give the guns away 'till the ammo's gone
 .A bud's 13yr old was just diagnosed with diabetes. He's coping just fine. Still wrestling. Working out. What's your problem ? rj |
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Posted: 2/17/2006 3:57:18 PM EDT
[#37]
Yup, sounds like diabetes. If they want to do a Glucose Tolerance Test, tell them no way. It means you drink this nasty crap and have blood drawn every hour times 3 or 4. A much easier and more accurate test is a Hemaglobin A1C test. It more or less averages your blood sugar levels over the past few months and only takes one blood draw. |
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Posted: 2/17/2006 4:06:30 PM EDT
[#38]
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but that sounds like the clearest-cut case of Gay Bowel Syndrome I have ever heard of.
JOE |
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Posted: 2/17/2006 4:15:53 PM EDT
[#39]
it's the bird flu... you're fucked
 just go to the doctor. chances are it's nothing... |
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Posted: 2/17/2006 4:26:23 PM EDT
[#40]
Quit fuckin' whining and take better care of yourself. You should be doing that anyhow.
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Posted: 2/17/2006 5:36:02 PM EDT
[#41]
Agree - Sounds like diabetes. If they caught it early, and you listen to the docs, a little prevention goes a long way - Maybe just a slight change in diet. Even if you need to take pills or shots, its a few minutes a day that prevents a lot of complications; please be proactive.
My Dad ignored it/was careless about watching himself, and the last few years have not been fun. You can prevent things, but can't undo them.
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Posted: 2/17/2006 6:21:39 PM EDT
[#42]
Don't tell me to take better care of myself, that just happens to be none of your business
 Also - Djr or whatever and Joe are out.....more for everybody else. And the cope with it comment - I DON'T COPE WELL!!! I'm gonna buy a few Bushies next week just to piss off the jerks that get kicked out! 
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Posted: 2/17/2006 6:25:38 PM EDT
[#43]
You brought it here bud, you asked for it.
Shit, my collection would dwarf yours!
Bushy?   I only have Colts. 13 of them. Bring 'em with you next time you go slumming. 
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Posted: 2/17/2006 6:39:45 PM EDT
[#44]
Hmmm.....this is getting serium. OK punk, I'm adding 50 Colts to the collection, no, too many, make it 10 next week.
And I didn't "bring it here". I was seeking solace and advice from my internet buds, of which you ain't one, so stay off this thread! I pity the fool if he don't listen. |
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Posted: 2/17/2006 6:42:58 PM EDT
[#45]
Enough of this already. Just send me your address and I'll ship you a box of doughnuts and a 24pack of mountain dew! 
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Posted: 2/17/2006 6:47:49 PM EDT
[#46]
Look DeJarhead, don't you have something else to do? I'm sitting here munching on some Pepperidge Farms Chessman cookies and dark chocolate Milky Ways and would appreciate a little love (not really) and support from a couple thousand people who don't know what a schmuck I may be!!!
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Posted: 2/17/2006 6:53:04 PM EDT
[#47]
you could be a diabetic with high cholesterol. Diet, exercise and medication. You could live for another 40 years (unless your 80 now). RElax, go for a walk. Put down the remote and have a great day!
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Posted: 2/17/2006 6:53:46 PM EDT
[#48]
As a Type II diabetic (non insulin dependent) diabetes is managable. I was in the hospital for this last year with 600+ when they tested my blood. My A1C was like 12, dehydraged and that protien stuff in the urine also. I should've been in a coma. Spent the night in the ER with a massive IV drip to rehydrate me and blood taken 2 hours and insulin shots periodically too. Oh and a 1200 calorie diet.....talk about scare. Uncontrolled, diabetes can lead to liver failure, stroke, blindness, and a whole list of not so nice stuff. Routine things you can do: Check blodd sugar every day. My regimen is in the morning before meals, after lunch, and dinner time, Wally World stocks some home test strips to test your uring for protien leakage. Carbs are hard to give up and they are almost everywhere. Controlled portions are all that is needed. I have my eyes dialated once a year just to make sure the diabetes is not effecting my eyes. Every three months I have a battery of tests run in which they draw 3-4 vials of blood to test several functions like my liver, kidneys, etc. Once you do it a few times, it becomes like your daily routine like shaking after you whiz.....
The really big thing is to exercise and lose weight. My doc tells me not to go nuts and sprint run or anything. You can gradually build up your routine. Start walking 15-20 mins. a day for 4-5 days. Just a light to moderate sweat. Sorry so long, but I hope this helps.
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Posted: 2/17/2006 6:59:46 PM EDT
[#49]
Smith 1066 please.
Seriously, I hope you will be fine. Take care, chin up. Danny
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:00:37 PM EDT
[#50]
DOH! GM |
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