Sensitive topic for the fellas....

General » General Discussion

Site Notices

2024's Favorite CCW? | PSA Micro Dagger

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Sensitive topic for the fellas....

Posted: 2/14/2006 11:57:44 PM EDT

My wife and I were having a conversation over dinner, about oral sex of course. (what else do you talk about?)

She asked if I were able to reach it, you know.....self serve.....would I indulge?

I thought about this long and hard, no pun intended, over my fried catfish and scalloped potatoes, and I came to the conclusion (again, no pun intended), that I would not enjoy doing myself....at least not in such an unnatural way. First, I would worry about the long term shape of my spine, knowing my propensity to overdo things, and secondly the attraction of good oral is laying there not doing anything! How could I enjoy it if I'm doing all the work? And, worse, what if I wasn't good at it? That would suck (third no-pun intended).

The last consideration, obviously, is would I be obliged to swallow? I mean, it's only polite but the thought creeped me out, and I went back to my food and tried to wash the mental images of my mom walking in on such a horror out of my head.

Ok, discuss. Who's with me? And, by with me I mean not relishing the thought of self-service, not "with me".

Jeesh, this is getting me all weirded out.

Posted: 2/15/2006 12:02:41 AM EDT

[#1]

c'mon! Dont act like you never tried.

Posted: 2/15/2006 12:05:01 AM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
c'mon! Dont act like you never tried.

7 years of wasted Yoga classes.

Posted: 2/15/2006 12:07:31 AM EDT

[#3]

I'd never leave the house.

Posted: 2/15/2006 12:11:16 AM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:
I'd never leave the house.

So that means "yes" to the swallow issue, I take it?

Posted: 2/15/2006 12:11:36 AM EDT

[#5]

Tried it...did it...not worth the effort.

Next!

Posted: 2/15/2006 12:12:18 AM EDT

[#6]

Id divorce my wife and live a seclusive life of a pervert hermit. My breath would smell like bleach forever.

Posted: 2/15/2006 12:12:30 AM EDT

[#7]

I did not even try to lie to my GF, i said hell yeah i would.

Posted: 2/15/2006 12:12:52 AM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:
Quoted:
I'd never leave the house.

So that means "yes" to the swallow issue, I take it?

I'm still chewin on that part of the issue.

Posted: 2/15/2006 12:14:12 AM EDT

[#9]

You're gay if you swallow your own load

Posted: 2/15/2006 12:14:23 AM EDT

[#10]

Uhh, you'd have to bend your spine to do it?

- BG

Posted: 2/15/2006 12:16:34 AM EDT

[#11]

Seriously though, I wouldn't try it. Who knows where its been?

Posted: 2/15/2006 12:19:05 AM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
Seriously though, I wouldn't try it. Who knows where its been?

Posted: 2/15/2006 12:19:27 AM EDT

[#13]

OMG!

The things you hear about on Arf!

Its like having a seat in the locker room!

WHY do I have the feeling I'm going to regret seeing this in my active topics?

Posted: 2/15/2006 12:21:38 AM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
Uhh, you'd have to bend your spine to do it?

Yeah, I have a 55" long torso, or otherwise it'd be a cinch. <cough>

Posted: 2/15/2006 12:24:15 AM EDT

[#15]

I don't know if it's true or not but I think the lead singer from A Perfect Circle/TOOL (sorry can't remember his name at the moment) had two ribs removed so he could perform said act. Again, this was a long time ago and I don't know if it holds any truth.

Posted: 2/15/2006 12:26:18 AM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
I don't know if it's true or not but I think the lead singer from A Perfect Circle/TOOL (sorry can't remember his name at the moment) had two ribs removed so he could perform said act. Again, this was a long time ago and I don't know if it holds any truth.

It was said that Marilyn Manson did, not the guy from Tool. I don't think there is any truth to it, though.

Posted: 2/15/2006 12:28:41 AM EDT

[#17]

I need to scatch my eyes out over this one

Posted: 2/15/2006 12:36:11 AM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
Quoted:
I don't know if it's true or not but I think the lead singer from A Perfect Circle/TOOL (sorry can't remember his name at the moment) had two ribs removed so he could perform said act. Again, this was a long time ago and I don't know if it holds any truth.

It was said that Marilyn Manson did, not the guy from Tool. I don't think there is any truth to it, though.

I heard it was Jim J. Bullock. Wait, no, I think it was the guy that played Schneider the handyman on Alice. Yeah, that was the guy. Had his whole rib cage removed.

hehe....also heard pop rocks and diet coke will make your head explode.

Posted: 2/15/2006 12:36:55 AM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
I need to scatch my eyes out over this one

<scrolling up to see any pictures of said act>

Nope, no pictures. You are safe.

Posted: 2/15/2006 1:00:02 AM EDT

[#20]

If any mans seman is touching my mouth it may as well be mine.

Otherwise someone is going to die.

Posted: 2/15/2006 1:11:10 AM EDT

[#21]

y'all have entirely too much free time

Posted: 2/15/2006 1:14:25 AM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
y'all have entirely too much free time

They're paying me a pretty penny to sit here and peck out these gems, too.

Hey, it was the wife that brought it up!

Posted: 2/15/2006 1:46:34 AM EDT

[#23]

I tried to.

Put on some ankle weights and put my feet and legs up a wall. I let gravity take over hoping the weights would give me enough momentum to curve my spine to close the gap so to speak.

It didn't work. Explaining the injury I sustained to my chiropracter was a real hoot though...

Posted: 2/15/2006 1:51:57 AM EDT

[#24]

swingset, if we were in the military, I'd have you doing pushups right now...sheesh.

Please don't post topics about performing oral sex on yourself in General Discussion (or AR15.com for that matter).

You should know better.

Posted: 2/15/2006 1:52:09 AM EDT

[#25]

Nothing worse than eating a bowl of Farina then reading this topic, next..AR Discusion Here I come.

Posted: 2/15/2006 1:52:10 AM EDT

[#26]

drop

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Sensitive topic for the fellas....

General » General Discussion

Win a FREE Membership!

Sign up for the ARFCOM weekly newsletter and be entered to win a free ARFCOM membership. One new winner* is announced every week!

You will receive an email every Friday morning featuring the latest chatter from the hottest topics, breaking news surrounding legislation, as well as exclusive deals only available to ARFCOM email subscribers.

Warning

Confirm Action

About AR15.COM

Stay Connected

Newsletter

Contact Us