10. Jack doesn't sleep. He waits.

Quoted: 10. Jack doesn't sleep. He waits for his gay lover to make sweet love to him from behind

Quoted: 10. Jack doesn't sleep. He waits.

9.  You don't know Jack.

8)  Jack only has a Y chromosome because it killed the other 22.

7) Jack could kick Chuck's ass.

6) Jack counted to Infinity. Twice.

5) Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.

bump for last 5

4)  Jack's dick is so big, when he cums, clowns climb out of it.

3) Is Chuck Norris’ Illegitimate son.

Quoted: 4)  Jack's dick is so big, when he cums, clowns climb out of it.

He is a fictional TV character.... Its true!!! Fictional....

Quoted: He is a fictional TV character.... Its true!!! Fictional....

quite true, but it would seem that many of the members here get happy where they pee when they hear the name jack bauer

Quoted:
He is a fictional TV character.... Its true!!! Fictional....[/quot

2. Jack's gun is so big, if he shoots you in the arm, you lose a leg too!!!

Apparently Jack doesn't like to be photographed

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland.
Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.
Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
Every time you maturbate Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not beacuase you masurbated, but because that is how often he kills terrorists.
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.
Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better fucking do it.
The quickest way to a man's heart is through Jack Bauer's gun.
It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent.
No man has ever used the phrase, "Jack Bauer is a pussy" in a sentence and lived to tel-
Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
The real reason the Army ditched the Army of One campaign? Jack Bauer sued for copy right infringement.
If Jack says "I just want to talk to him/her" and that him/her is you... well amigo, you're fucked.

Frank Castle could whoop all their asses!  

Bull shit Frank Castle would be whistling out of his peehole by the time Jack is done with him.