I found this on craig's list (an internet want ads site). It is a little long but you will laugh your ass off.
Under labor gigs someone possed this ad :
I just bought a rehab and the people that lived there before me had like 18 dogs. There must be like 148lbs of dog doodoo back there. I think there must have been some other animals back there as well because some of these piles are GIGANTIC!! The homeless guy that lives in the abandoned house next door thinks that he saw a pony back there, but I'm not sure about that. Anyhoo, I will pay 1 dollar per pound of poo. So that is like 148 dollars for probably 1 days work. Please respond with references and pics of your prior work.
Thanks,
Kim
Then someone responded to the above ad with this:
Lady, You are an idiot. Why would you wanna get references and pictures of someones prior work Just to come to your scummy ass fishtown house and clean dogshit? You should get off your ass and clean it yourself!! You poohead!!!
Finally feeling so regected that he didn't get the job with the first reply the respondant posted his resume:
I am so excited to respond to this. Where do I start.
1. I was poop picker-upper of the month at poop-n-scoop, inc.
2. I am a hard working pooper scooper.
3. The smell of poop doesn't bother me.
4. I am strong, so 148lbs of poop is no problem.
5. I whistle while I pick up poop.
6. I have handled poop from such dogs as great danes, rottweilers, german shepherds and other large breeds.
7. I once did an intern on a farm picking up horse poop. That was some heavy poop.
8. I will not take a bathroom break all day. I will just poop in the yard and then pick it up. It will not count towards the total poundage of poop.
Sorry, but i don't have any current pictures of me in action, but rest assured, your row-home yard will not be poop infested anymore. Is this my official interview or do you need to do a background check, drug screening and call all of my refereces?