HC: Hi everybody! Harry Caray here! And welcome to Space: The Infinite Frontier. We've got a great show lined up for ya'. Joining us in the studio today is U.S. astronaut, Ronald Culbertson. Welcome to the show Ronald.
R: Well, thank you Harry. It's a pleasure to be here.
HC: Now, Ronald, you've just returned from the troubled Russian space station Mir. What's goin' on up there?
R: Well, Harry, the first thing you have to understand is that the Mir space station is eleven years old and was only designed to-
HC: Now, Ronald, it must be fun dressing up like an astronaut: the helmet, the boots,....the ray gun.
R: Ray gun?
HC: It's good to indulge your inner child, cause without that you got nothin'.
R: Harry, I'm a real astronaut. I don't just play "dress-up."
HC: Don't be ashamed Ronald. Hell, last Halloween I dressed up like one of those Frankenstein monsters. Bolts in the neck....the whole nine yards.
R: Well,...that must have been fun for you.
HC: The effect was positively eerie. Really scared some folks. In fact, a buddy of mine died of a heart attack when he saw me.
R: I'm sorry to hear that.
HC: Yeah. So, technically, I'm a murderer.
(Uncomfortable pause. Ronald is searching for words.)
HC: Hey Ronald! Ya' ever been sucked into a black hole?
R: No...
HC: I have. It's an area of infinite gravity and density from which not even light can escape. It's called,'A Weekend at My Mother-in-Law's.'
R: That's very funny, Harry.
HC: Hey, don't raise your voice at me!
R: I...I didn't.
HC: Well, just don't do it.
(Another uncomfortable pause.)
HC: Hey Ronald! Did ya' hear they cloned a sheep?
R: Yes, I did.
HC: Hey! What if they cloned a dinosaur?...Would ya' eat it?
R: You know, I haven't really given it much thought.
HC: I know I would. Char broiled dinosaur covered in gravy. Side of curly fries. I bet they'd call it the Dinosaur Special.
R: Yes, I guess they would.
HC: So how 'bout it Ronald? Would you eat a dinosaur?
R: What...What does this have to do with...
HC: Hey, don't jerk me around Ronald! It's a simple question! Would you eat a dinosaur?
R: I guess I would.
HC: I think you've made a wise choice. Boy, I wish those scientists would hurry up. I'm gettin' hungry.
R: Well, Harry, I'm sure that kind of cloning is a long way off.
HC: I hope so, cuz' when they start cloning humans...Sure it would be good for the species, but emotionally, we'd all be dead!
(Ronald is looking very perplexed.)
HC: Well, that's all the time we have. Before we leave, one important program note: Next week we'll be broadcasting from the center of the Sun.
(Stage hand leans in and whispers in Harry's ear.)
HC: Oh, thanks Pete. Apparently, the center of the Sun is eight billion degrees. You probably knew that, Ronald.
R: Yes. I did.
HC: So I guess we'll stay right here. That's kind of a relief. See ya' next time! Cubs win! Cubs win!