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Posted: 1/15/2006 11:06:58 PM EDT
                                                                     


I know this guy/former friend that always complain that people at work dont like him.  He is 36 single child & moved out of mom and dads house 2 years ago.

He will complain that people that look down at him at work Cuase He is "motivated and does a better job than anyone else" seeing Why is he so disliked?  He is  always use to getting his way since he was a only child ..  Someone went to get lunch and he had complained they took to long (15 minutes) while he takes over 1 hour for lunch everyday! He will get really angry to the point he is shaking.He does the same thing if someone needs to go take a piss. Other co workers dont get all uptight over giving breaks.  He is just so use to having his way that it interferes with his job function.

He will complain about others hygeine like the Breakroom is dirty. But He leaves used bowls and plates he has already ate out of (brought from home) in the refrigerator for days . Thats no different than me leaving my used tooth brush in there for the week. Then he goes and complains to the boss that we are leaving a mess!

When we were buddies we went to a few bars and he would get drunk.Well he would get all mouthy to some guys.The he would come running behind me like I would stick for his little ass.We came close a few times to having to fight cause he cant hold his liquior. He went with a few another guys from work. Well he would talk about how cute this coworkers girl was. Well we all went out and he got drunk again and started trying to hit on her. She declined his advances with the Boyfriend at the same table.Since his smooth words didnt work he decided toget under the table try to eat her PUSS and stuck his hand in her crotch!
The boyfriend a real mellow guy blew it off and the girlfriend wanted him to kick his ass. He got lucky that night.BTW, he pucked in his car and refused to pay to get it steamcleaned the next week.

Ever meet anyone like this?

Link Posted: 1/15/2006 11:39:03 PM EDT
[#1]
At my last job, every once in a while we would get one of those.  Some people have no social skills whatsoever, but are ok to work with, but sometimes we got one who just drove everyone nuts.  We had one such guy.  This guy irritated the shit out of everyone.  Constantly telling bullshit stories, hygiene problems, you name it, totally incompetent.

This being the Navy, he could be a complete fuckstick and never get fired.

The solution:  Spin 'em up and break them.  If you can make them cry and quit, you win.  At quarters, the Chief would say "And I'm gonna need someone to help Petty Officer ********."  Everyone says "Not it!".  Ignore him when possible.  When he tries to contribute to a conversation, tell him to shut up, then ignore him some more.  For a while, we would amuse ourselves by baiting him to say dumb stuff (true account):

Guy 1:   (Sees assclown approaching) "So I just got the engine installed in my Bronco.  Should be able to get over 450 horsepower."
Assclown:  "Yeah!?" (everyone else gives each other that "oh shit, here goes" look)  "Well I know a guy who has a Bronco with THREE ENGINES!  I don't know how they are hooked together, but it really does have three engines!"
Guy 1:  "Oh he must be using planetary gears."
Assclown:  "Yeah yeah!  That's what he was using.  Each engine starts up when it's needed.  They're sequential!"
Everyone:   "SHTF and go away." (Waits for assclown to leave)

That got pretty boring after a while because we simply got tired of his shit.

One day after pulling in to port we were about to shutdown the plant, Assclown is on watch.  The Division officer peeks in and asks to talk to him.  He gets a relief and goes out.  About one minute later, we all hear loud screaming mixed with some sobbing sounds.  This goes on for about a minute, then the DivO comes in with a grin on his face.  "Dude, he just snapped."  He wasn't even trying to, but we already had the assclown pretty worked up.

I suggest playing pranks based on the dumb shit he does.  He leaves his lunch containers in the fridge?  Glue the lids on.  Leaves his shit everywhere?  Leave shit in or on his desk.  Even if he doesn't snap, at least you can have some juvenile fun.
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