When I was in college, I was shacked up at my girlfriend's place when her car alarm went off.  Looked out the window and saw a guy, who she didn't recognize, trying to get into the car.

I threw on some sweats and my shoes, ran down and confronted the guy.

That's when it got ugly.

See, the G/F's psycho ex-boyfriend stepped out of the shadows with a baseball  bat and yet another guy to back him up.   They set off her alarm to bait me out of the house.   And it worked.  

Oh fuck.  

I'm out numbered three to one, the b/f has a bat, and he's blocking my retreat.

A major situational awareness error that could have screwed me up good.

So the ex b/f starts talking and yelling and he's obviously wasted.   By this time there are witnesses coming out of the neighboring apartments watching.   My girlfriend has the cops on the phone and this guy still isn't backing off.   He intends to beat my ass with his bat.

So, I did the only then I could and charged him.  

He got the bat around for a swing, but by the time he did I was too close to him in my charge and he hit my arm with his wrists and the handle area of the bat (which still hurt like a motherfucker and turned half my arm purple, but at least it was not the business end).  

After a couple of smacks and some wrestling, I wound up with possession of the bat and was walking away backwards towards the stairs, whereupon all three guys charged me.   Thankfully, one of the guys was taken down by a college basketball player who had been watching and ran from his place into the fray when all three jumped in.   The ex-b/f was first to reach me on the charge, but unlike him, I got the bat around fast enough and it connected.

And that, my friends, leads to the point of this post:   It is VERY hard to use a bat in a hand to hand confrontation.   I only got one shot in, and then spent the rest of the time trying to keep the bat.   I'm sure that if the third guy hadn't been tied up by the big basketball player, I'd have been beaten badly.

I actually swung with less than my full might, was sort of in a defensive mode, but the dude went down like a sack of bricks.   The basketball guy had the buddy down and he was done, while the third guy still came at me even though his buddy had taken a shot and was on the ground.    He ran at me fast enough I couldn't get the bat around for a swing, so I grabbed both ends and sort of used it defensively.   We tussled to a draw, but I kept the bat.

Finally, the cops showed up....  two of them ...

...and they fucking drew down on me, since I was holding the bat.

(Thankfully, like 15 people were now watching and they're yelling "NO NO NO, HE GOT JUMPED!!!!")


Lessons learned:

1.  "It's a trap" is not just an ARFCOM saying.   I got baited into a really bad situation.   We should have called the cops, or that failing, I should not have got to confront the guy with nothing but, well, nothing.  I went to a bat fight without a bat and I could have been killed.   I was a gun owner, but only a target shooter at the time.  It woke me up, to say the least.

2.  Although a moderately powerful swing connecting just above the ear puts a guy out like a light, a baseball bat is not really a good close quarters weapon.   I was able to charge the guy before he got the swing around, and while he messed my arm up good, he ultimately lost control of the bat and wound up getting knocked the fuck out.   I could not use the bat other than defensively after that, as the other guy was too close to hit.  

3.  Under bright sodium parking lot lights, you can see the copper color of a live round in the chamber of a police officers glock when it is pointed at you.  That is not a pleasant experience.

4.  A woman who continues to see her ex-boyfriend for several months after you are together, and does not tell you she's involved you in a love triangle with a jealous lunatic,  is not the best dating prospect.   She must be promptly kicked to the curb.  


5.  ETA:   Most people are pussies.   Of the 15 people who wound up listed as witnesses on the police report, only ONE GUY stepped in to help me in a 3 on one situation.   Half of the witnesses claimed not to have seen much, although all clearly stated that the other guy was the original agressor.

I WAS NOT WASTED!

j/k

Tag.

edit for clarity:

i payed the bill [as best as i could] in college by bouncing at a couple of the local watering holes. just about all of the "altercations" i was involved in at the bars could be classified as stupid.

My best friend and I got drunk together and started fighing over a woman I was sleeping with and refused to share.  This was in 94.

Well, he was twice my size, and I clocked the fuck out of him.  

I missed

He slammed my face into the corner of my dresser, which broke my nose in several places and gave me a scar I still have today on the side of my nose that, strangely, resembles a triangle.  I was out cold for a while, and drove myself to the hospital after I woke.  

Lesson learned:

1.  Curb checking doesn't require an actual curb.

2.  Pussy isn't worth a life-lasting scar and a ruined friendship.

3.  If you're going to beat up a guy twice your size, don't miss the first shot.

4.  If you're going to beat up a guy twice your size, don't do it drunk and you won't miss the first shot.  

5.  Never fuck with me, because after that incident I always hit first and don't stop until you're out cold.  

6.  When a nurse sees your face and says, "Oh my GOD!" you know you've suffered a beat down.

ooh.. this looks like a good thread.

So I was working at my old fast food job, when some guy refused to pay for his food.

Told him he had to pay, he just pulled up his jacket and showed me his Mac & Cheese in a holster.


I let him go, cause it was extra creamy, and I was only getting paid $7.50 an hour.

A DV call, baseball bat, pepper spray, gun, two dads (one a deputy) went to jail.

Walked into a party, teenybopper girl peppersprays me.

A.) it was cheap freds shit.

B.) I've been sprayed 4 or 5 times before.

C.) I eat hotter food than that spray was.

D.) I stood there, looked at her, and asked her what the fuck that was all about.  She thought I was her ex.  

E.) I ended up hitting it before the night was over.

I hate fights and the whole fighting mentality. With that said, I can honestly say that the three times I've actually needed to get physical, I "won" the fight. I don't think anybody ever really "wins" a fight, but if you have fewer injuries and less blood loss then I guess you won the fight.

There have been too many close calls in my past but I've always negotiated a resolution and de-escelated the situation.

The dumbest thing I ever did was at a biker bar, not a yuppie/lawyer/sunny day biker sushi bar, but an 1% club type of bar. The goup I was with had a patch/logo on the back of their vests, as did I, and we stopped in the bar to cool off after riding for a while. Well after about an hour, most of the guys left and I stayed and shot pool for a couple of hours. Well about 11pm or so, a group of 1% ers came in and started drinking. I was having a good night for pool and won about five games in a row, and was ahead 20 or 30 bucks at the time. Well after I beat the same guy (1%er) twice I got a real uneasy feeling about the scene. (Despite having my S&W 442 in my vest, I would rather avoid the worst case scenario.)

Well the "Enforcer" for the club leans in to me and asks me who I'm "here with" because he didn't recognize my colors. I tell him I'm not with a club, and I don't have any colors, the patch on my vest was for an association, not a M/C. He walked away and was talking with his guys for a while. I threw the next game of pool and paid the other shooter and bought him a beer. I then walked up to the Enforcer and introduced myself and offered to buy him and his friends a beer, (which added up to about 30 bucks). I tried to make nice with the guy and he seemed offended that a new club was in town and nobody notified him about it, and there were certain "things" that needed to be addressed.

I re-explained that the group I was with was not a M/C (that's Motorcycle Club for those of you who don't know - and by "club" I don't mean "social club" it is pretty much an all-for-one gang), and the patch was just the logo design of our association and that we had it on caps, t-shirts, bumper stickers, etc. Well it's about 12:30 or so and I figured I should get out of there and I offered my hand to the Enforcer and thanked him for his time and that's when it happened.....



The Enforcer asked me to turn around because he wanted another look at my patch.... on the back of my vest.....


Every thread of my being was on edge at that request. I started to take the vest off and the Enforcer said, don't bother taking it off, just turn around....


Well you know those beer logo mirrors on the wall? Well, I looked into the mirror, turned around and waited about zero seconds to have my hand at the ready. The only thing between me and certain ass-beating was the visual in the mirror and five rounds of .38....


I kept my eye on the five guys looking at by patch through the mirror, and after a mental count of ten, I turned around and asked the Enforcer if he was satisfied that my group was not a M/C, and he said he wasn't sure but he would make some calls to find out what was going on. I gave him my cell phone number and told him to call me anytime and I will gladly meet with him to answer any other questions and shook his hand as I got the hell out of the bar.


There's more about this story, but suffice it to say, I've never had any problems with the guys and I show my respect by not wearing my patched vest in their club. I'm a civi in their world and things are better that way.

Girlfriend and I attend a party on Halloween.  Party was at the brother's house of her lifelong friend.  We're having a good time, she's introducing me to a couple of people...I recognize a few that I already knew.  yada yada yada

My girlfriend's older brother shows up.  Everything appears fine until we walk around the side of the house to leave.  I'm staring off in space when my gf says "wait up, what the hell's going on here?" "what are those guys doing".

Seven guys, three of them brothers, walked out from behind a couple parked cars.  

Apparently my gf's brother had some deals fall through with a couple of the assholes and they wanted retribution.  

Long story short:  Gf's brother gets jumped by three of the guys...she dives into the pile (I kid you not)...I go in after her.  She was trying to protect her brother's head in the pile.

I pull one of the guys off of her brother in an arm-bar type strangle hold, am hit from behind and i see stars briefly.  A moments hesitation was all the other fags needed and it wasn't long until I was having the shit beat of me.  I got one good swing in when I was spun around, but I'm sorry to say that paid for it with a mouth and nose full of blood.  

wounds consisted of a split lip (began a cm. from the left nostril, all the way down, completely through the lip...I could stick my tongue through it)  tip of my nose was broken, the back of my head felt like cauliflower (fags punched me in the back of the head), and a couple of loose teeth.

lessons learned:

1)the honorable thing may have been to "even the fight", but I was more concerned with my gf's well-being.

2)there's no such thing as a fair fight.

3)my gf's brother may have deserved an ass beating

4)I don't fight too well when I'm not pissed off

5) sometimes you don't have time to get pissed off.

6)always stay on your feet no matter how many assholes are hitting you.

edit: was the first and last assbeating I ever took.  which is ok by me.

A bunch of guys created a disturbance at my college house during a party.  Two of the three were escorted to the door by two of my large roommates (ie, physically picked up and thrown out).  The third was frightened and suddenly polite.  He asked if he could get his coat.  I was amused, so I said yes, and escorted him to the room upstairs where the coats were.  On the way back out, he started talking shit (apparently he was so drunk that he forgot that he had just been frightened) and turned and faced off with me with his back to the stairwell.  In the midst of his tirade about what assholes my friends and I were, I (intentionally) reached out with one hand and gave him a gentle push in the middle of the chest and he lost his balance.  Oopsie.  Down he went, ass over teakettle all the way down the stairs.  My two buddies were still standing by the door at the bottom of the stairs, and they picked up the guy and threw him out with his two friends.  

In retrospect, what seemed quite amusing at the time was pretty stupid.  I could have broken the guy's neck shoving him down a flight of stairs, and he could have sued me senseless.  But at the time it seemed like the thing to do.  

 

Quoted: My best friend and I got drunk together and started fighing over a woman I was sleeping with and refused to share.  This was in 94. Well, he was twice my size, and I clocked the fuck out of him.   I missed He slammed my face into the corner of my dresser, which broke my nose in several places and gave me a scar I still have today on the side of my nose that, strangely, resembles a triangle.  I was out cold for a while, and drove myself to the hospital after I woke.   Lesson learned: 1.  Curb checking doesn't require an actual curb. 2.  Pussy isn't worth a life-lasting scar and a ruined friendship. 3.  If you're going to beat up a guy twice your size, don't miss the first shot. 4.  If you're going to beat up a guy twice your size, don't do it drunk and you won't miss the first shot.   5.  Never fuck with me, because after that incident I always hit first and don't stop until you're out cold.   6.  When a nurse sees your face and says, "Oh my GOD!" you know you've suffered a beat down.

WTF? That does sound insanely stupid. He wanted you to SHARE your girlfriend? WTF was he going to do if she wasn't up for "sharing?" Rape her?

I can just see it now. "DUDE! I WANT TO FUCK YOUR WOMAN! AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME! I'm better for her!" "WTF dude no way in hell!"

was out side a night club cooling off. a guy was on the phone saying how pissed off he was, i said " better then pissed on, you want to see" well he promply got even more pissed off.

the next thing that happened he came after me, and he had me by about 6 inches and 40 or so pounds, i did not back down it never came to punches but he got thrown out because he came after me. it turned out he was a bar waitress boy friend, and he said he was going to get me. yes  i was shaking.... not, it turns out he is all talk and was more pissed off becuase i screwed up his rep for not backing down and he always acted like the BIG man... not anymore

Quoted: A bunch of guys created a disturbance at my college house during a party.  Two of the three were escorted to the door by two of my large roommates (ie, physically picked up and thrown out).  The third was frightened and suddenly polite.  He asked if he could get his coat.  I was amused, so I said yes, and escorted him to the room upstairs where the coats were.  On the way back out, he started talking shit (apparently he was so drunk that he forgot that he had just been frightened) and turned and faced off with me with his back to the stairwell.  In the midst of his tirade about what assholes my friends and I were, I (intentionally) reached out with one hand and gave him a gentle push in the middle of the chest and he lost his balance.  Oopsie.  Down he went, ass over teakettle all the way down the stairs.  My two buddies were still standing by the door at the bottom of the stairs, and they picked up the guy and threw him out with his two friends.   In retrospect, what seemed quite amusing at the time was pretty stupid.  I could have broken the guy's neck shoving him down a flight of stairs, and he could have sued me senseless.  But at the time it seemed like the thing to do.

I don't even want to get started about my frat days.


not that I can remember them too well...most weren't worth remembering

seems like I always fighting back then.

Quoted: Quoted: My best friend and I got drunk together and started fighing over a woman I was sleeping with and refused to share.  This was in 94. Well, he was twice my size, and I clocked the fuck out of him.   I missed He slammed my face into the corner of my dresser, which broke my nose in several places and gave me a scar I still have today on the side of my nose that, strangely, resembles a triangle.  I was out cold for a while, and drove myself to the hospital after I woke.   Lesson learned: 1.  Curb checking doesn't require an actual curb. 2.  Pussy isn't worth a life-lasting scar and a ruined friendship. 3.  If you're going to beat up a guy twice your size, don't miss the first shot. 4.  If you're going to beat up a guy twice your size, don't do it drunk and you won't miss the first shot.   5.  Never fuck with me, because after that incident I always hit first and don't stop until you're out cold.   6.  When a nurse sees your face and says, "Oh my GOD!" you know you've suffered a beat down. WTF? That does sound insanely stupid. He wanted you to SHARE your girlfriend? WTF was he going to do if she wasn't up for "sharing?" Rape her? I can just see it now. "DUDE! I WANT TO FUCK YOUR WOMAN! AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME! I'm better for her!" "WTF dude no way in hell!"

Close...  She wasn't my ol lady, just ass candy and I was hitting it (before I squared my life away).  He was flirting it up with her, but I told him to knock it off in front of me.  He got pissed and did the whole pushing thing in my chest, so I shoved him back and told him to get out of my face, and you know how it goes from there.  

I tried to clock him, and the next thing I knew he had me by the back of the neck.  I don't remember him actually pushing my face in like a pug dog sucking a lemon, but the dresser was the only thing that could have cut that deep (it was a nice, clean triangle of nose removed).  I can't imagine any other thing in the apartment at the time that would have made that wound (and I woke next to the dresser, so it makes sense).

Stupid?  HA!  Way beyond stupid!  I don't fist it up with people anymore, but memories like that make me wonder how in the hell I ever survived back then.   Liquid courage, bro.   I still drink, but I don't get stupid violent anymore - well, not with anyone that can kick my ass

The wildest I was ever just about in was at Kebakians.  As you might guess from the name, a Labanese/Armenian restaurant, and back in the early 70's there weren't many around in So. Cal.  Run by the 4 Kebakian Brothers "In Memory of their dear departed Mother".  And itwasn't fancy but it was one of the more popular restaurants in Pasadena.  Coats and Ties were recommended, not required, but you dressed nicely for this place.

We were with a small group, and all the tables were taken except for a few clearly marked "Reserved" and a waiting line. A group of Arabs, came in and demanded to be seated at the tables, "No, you wait."  "Why, we're here, they aren't?"  and the discussion got a little lous and suddenly they were talking loudly over our table, and one of the Kebakian Brothers called somebody a "Persian"  

Ding ding ding, in this corner,  The girls in our group started moving out of the way, the guys all stood up and said to the effect "Not NOW, we're eating here."  and the K Brothers lined up and the cook came out with a cleaver.  About that time the PD got there and calmed things down, but that had the makings of hot time in the old town that night.

If I was to bet, if it had gone on much further before the PD arrived a lot of men would have joined in on the K's side.

damn stupidest thing was getting in a fight in HS oh yeah during a assembly.

tag

Quoted: damn stupidest thing was getting in a fight in HS oh yeah during a assembly.

Get into a fight with 4 freshman computer engineering majors.



Oh wait, I WON that one. hehe, NERDZ!  

It was at dinner with my wife. She asked me to pass her the pepper. I picked up both the salt and pepper shakers and put them down by her plate. She was pissed that I passed her the salt when she had not asked for it.

 I'd rather not go there.

A friend of mine got jumped by 15 guys, he deserved to get jumped he blind sided one of their buddies two weeks before at party because he was pissed off and the guy walked with in swinging distance.  Anyways I charged into the group (STUPID) knocked 2 or 3 guys off of him. Got tangled up with another rolled up on top of him and started beating his face in until the rest of the group realized "who" was the punchee and who was the puncher.  Last Thing I remember seeing was a 4' 9" mexican kid named Pablo punt me in between the eyes.

ETA there was also 6' 3" line backer on my back breaking his knuckles on my skull

5.  ETA:   Most people are pussies.   Of the 15 people who wound up listed as witnesses on the police report, only ONE GUY stepped in to help me in a 3 on one situation.   Half of the witnesses claimed not to have seen much, although all clearly stated that the other guy was the original agressor.

Agreed.  I got jumped once by three guys and my friend, a guy whom I had given a job to, did not step in to make it a fair 1v1.  Needless to say, he got no more work from me.

But, I got one of them worse than all three of them got me.