Why/how can women just talk, and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk....

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Why/how can women just talk, and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk.... (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:11:20 AM EDT

yet never say a thing worth listening to?

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:11:50 AM EDT

[#1]

to torment those of us who are born with a penis

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:16:06 AM EDT

[#2]

It's a genetic gift. My wife asks me how I can ignore and ignore and ignore and ignore and ignore

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:17:27 AM EDT

[#3]

Its a trap

The'll toss something in the middle that is important.. then a month down the road your expected to remember that

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:18:44 AM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:
Its a trap

The'll toss something in the middle that is important.. then a month down the road your expected to remember that

+1

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:19:35 AM EDT

[#5]

Ahhhh grasshopper, the age old question...........

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:20:31 AM EDT

[#6]

It's like it never stops and it's all about nothing.

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:21:49 AM EDT

[#7]

Because they don't listen to themselves or each other.

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:24:09 AM EDT

[#8]

I tell my wife to 'Write it down and put it on the fridge" IF important.

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:25:14 AM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
It's like it never stops and it's all about nothing.

Time to get selective hearing

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:25:39 AM EDT

[#10]

Because they are all insane.

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:26:27 AM EDT

[#11]

Mine says interesting things all the time.

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:27:14 AM EDT

[#12]

TruthTeller......

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:27:19 AM EDT

[#13]

It's so when they get mad and stops talking to us we know we are in trouble.

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:27:56 AM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
Quoted:
It's like it never stops and it's all about nothing.

Time to get selective hearing

Got it, does not work. I want refund!

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:28:32 AM EDT

[#15]

This question reminded me of an episode of "The Family Guy" where they made fun of the tv show "The View" & all the women were talking, but they sounded like chickens. Fricking funny!

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:29:15 AM EDT

[#16]

Jesus, I really don't know, but I DO know this: They NEED to do this. They really do. You must let them finish, and don't cut them off. Do NOT attempt to solve any perceived problem, just listen. Do not try to connect one thought to another. It's futile. When they are finished (it can take a while) they will feel better and closer to you.

Make no mistake - women have to do this. It's how their wired. Just let them. It's annoying as shit, but they need to do it. It might as well be you, and not some other guy who "is a good listener", know what I mean?

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:29:59 AM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
This question reminded me of an episode of "The Family Guy" where they made fun of the tv show "The View" & all the women were talking, but they sounded like chickens. Fricking funny!

Mad TV did one too and it was hilarious.

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:32:18 AM EDT

[#18]

My wife just sounds like the teacher on charlie brown....

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:33:49 AM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
Jesus, I really don't know, but I DO know this: They NEED to do this. They really do. You must let them finish, and don't cut them off. Do NOT attempt to solve any perceived problem, just listen. Do not try to connect one thought to another. It's futile. When they are finished (it can take a while) they will feel better and closer to you.

Make no mistake - women have to do this. It's how their wired. Just let them. It's annoying as shit, but they need to do it. It might as well be you, and not some other guy who "is a good listener", know what I mean?

+1

Sage advice Arfcommers.

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:34:04 AM EDT

[#20]

Isin't it the old line of
"Women don't fart or burp so they must bitch or they will blow up"

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:35:38 AM EDT

[#21]

What I hate is when they are in the middle of some rambling line, she asks me question.

Huh? What was that honey?

You never listen. You never shut up.

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:36:56 AM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
yet never say a thing worth listening to?

I don't know, but I believe this is the one and only TRUE cause of buildup of greenhouse gasses on the planet

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:37:41 AM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
What I hate is when they are in the middle of some rambling line, she asks me question.

Huh? What was that honey?

You never listen. You never shut up.

Become a better listener, and you'll get more / better sex.

Everything has a price.

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:39:32 AM EDT

[#24]

Quoted:
Jesus, I really don't know, but I DO know this: They NEED to do this. They really do. You must let them finish, and don't cut them off. Do NOT attempt to solve any perceived problem, just listen. Do not try to connect one thought to another. It's futile. When they are finished (it can take a while) they will feel better and closer to you.

Make no mistake - women have to do this. It's how their wired. Just let them. It's annoying as shit, but they need to do it. It might as well be you, and not some other guy who "is a good listener", know what I mean?

+1

My "favorites" go something like this.

<Her> I was talking to Pat today and she said her husband was buying them a hot tub with a TV set attached to it. I said "That sounds nice."

<Me> OK. I'll find one and get somebody to help me put it in. Where do you weant it?

<Her> Oh, I don't think I want one, but it sure sounded nice. The way she described it, it's a hot tub, but with a television! Attached to it!

<Me> Well -

<Her> And her husband is buying it! It's one of those tubs that has hot water in it, and jets, and you sit in it. And it has a TV.

<Me> Mmm, well -

<Her> and her husband is buying it. I guess they'll sit in it and watch TV. With hot water.

<Me>

<Her> Patty's husband is going to buy one. A hot tub. With a TV. Attached right to it.

<Me>

<Her> If a person had one of those, he could soak in the hot water and watch television at the same time! I like hot tubs and I like TV. . .

40 minutes later

so, if you had a hot tub - I mean like the one Pat's husband is buying - you would have an extra TV. And a hot tub.

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:40:02 AM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
Quoted:
What I hate is when they are in the middle of some rambling line, she asks me question.

Huh? What was that honey?

You never listen. You never shut up.

Become a better listener, and you'll get more / better sex.

Everything has a price.

Damn she talks even more after I giver her some.

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:40:50 AM EDT

[#26]

Women talk, men DO.

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:41:35 AM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:
Quoted:

Become a better listener, and you'll get more / better sex.

Everything has a price.

Damn she talks even more after I giver her some.

If you have a woman ( as I do) that wants you to "give her some" yer not gonna get much sympathy from the Arfcom crowd.

Even I'm not really sure what yer complaining for.

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:44:09 AM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Jesus, I really don't know, but I DO know this: They NEED to do this. They really do. You must let them finish, and don't cut them off. Do NOT attempt to solve any perceived problem, just listen. Do not try to connect one thought to another. It's futile. When they are finished (it can take a while) they will feel better and closer to you.

Make no mistake - women have to do this. It's how their wired. Just let them. It's annoying as shit, but they need to do it. It might as well be you, and not some other guy who "is a good listener", know what I mean?

+1

My "favorites" go something like this.

<Her> I was talking to Pat today and she said her husband was buying them a hot tub with a TV set attached to it. I said "That sounds nice."

<Me> OK. I'll find one and get somebody to help me put it in. Where do you weant it?

<Her> Oh, I don't think I want one, but it sure sounded nice. The way she described it, it's a hot tub, but with a television! Attached to it!

<Me> Well -

<Her> And her husband is buying it! It's one of those tubs that has hot water in it, and jets, and you sit in it. And it has a TV.

<Me> Mmm, well -

<Her> and her husband is buying it. I guess they'll sit in it and watch TV. With hot water.

<Me>

<Her> Patty's husband is going to buy one. A hot tub. With a TV. Attached right to it.

<Me>

<Her> If a person had one of those, he could soak in the hot water and watch television at the same time! I like hot tubs and I like TV. . .

40 minutes later

so, if you had a hot tub - I mean like the one Pat's husband is buying - you would have an extra TV. And a hot tub.

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:44:29 AM EDT

[#29]

Hmmmm, I'm the other way around. He is the one constantly talking about anything and everything, and is constantly asking me what's bothering me since I'm quiet.

Doesn't necessarily mean anything's wrong.

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:45:14 AM EDT

[#30]

I saw some dopey show on TV where this beat up looking old guy (late 50s) was getting more ass than a toilet seat.

These 2 young handsome 22 yo studs ask him how he does it.

"I LISTEN to them."

"You LISTEN to them?"

"I listen to them."

"Really? How old are you?"

"Thirty one."

Posted: 1/11/2006 10:47:57 AM EDT

[#31]

Posted: 1/12/2006 10:23:38 AM EDT

[#32]

The bottom line is that they are in many ways (some good, some bad) very unlike us.

Posted: 1/12/2006 10:32:34 AM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:
The bottom line is that they are in many ways (some good, some bad) very unlike us.

You mean like having a vagina?

Posted: 1/12/2006 10:43:00 AM EDT

[#34]

Are you referring to the daily core dump that occurs when they get home from work? 45 minutes of "Then Jackie said this, and Tetra said that and I was thinking this, but then Kim said this..." over and over again.

I just tune out the words and nod when I hear punctuation.

Posted: 1/12/2006 10:43:58 AM EDT

[#35]

The second X chromosme gives them a recurrent laryngeal nerve which has extra nerve fibers and an extra set of vocal cords for when the first tire out. Most are not even aware.

The extra nerve fibers come from an enlarged vocal area of the brain which has diminished the areas for reasoning, logic, memory and intellect. Interestingly the memory portions which are diminished are not all affected equally. For instance, the memory cortex for transgressions by males seems to be enhanced, again diminishing areas set aside for other functions.

Add to this the hormonal fluctuations affecting brain function, particulary the amygdala, and one can see where reason is totally overwhelmed by emotion, manifested in long winded vocal diatribes particulary venting about men.

Evolution has played a role as well. The area of the brain representing by sammich making and dish washing have atrophied to near nonexistent levels much to the discontent of the poor schmucks who foolishly marry them.

At current trends you average female will, in the next 2 generations, be nothing more than a 100% vindictive, money spending, ball busting, harpy who spends all of her time complaining to friends, family and coworkers, about the human male while plotting his eventual demise in a strategy reminiscient of those in ancient times who severed their proboscis to anger their faces.

Posted: 1/12/2006 10:44:23 AM EDT

[#36]

ooooh, tag for response later!

Posted: 1/12/2006 10:47:12 AM EDT

[#37]

If a woman is walking in the woods and she says something and there is no one there to hear her, is she still wrong?

Posted: 1/12/2006 10:47:24 AM EDT

[#38]

Quoted:
Quoted:
The bottom line is that they are in many ways (some good, some bad) very unlike us.

You mean like having a vagina?

Ahhh, the source of their power!

Posted: 1/12/2006 10:50:01 AM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:
The second X chromosme gives them a recurrent laryngeal nerve which has extra nerve fibers and an extra set of vocal cords for when the first tire out. Most are not even aware.

The extra nerve fibers come from an enlarged vocal area of the brain which has diminished the areas for reasoning, logic, memory and intellect. Interestingly the memory portions which are diminished are not all affected equally. For instance, the memory cortex for transgressions by males seems to be enhanced, again diminishing areas set aside for other functions.

Add to this the hormonal fluctuations affecting brain function, particulary the amygdala, and one can see where reason is totally overwhelmed by emotion, manifested in long winded vocal diatribes particulary venting about men.

Evolution has played a role as well. The area of the brain representing by sammich making and dish washing have atrophied to near nonexistent levels much to the discontent of the poor schmucks who foolishly marry them.

At current trends you average female will, in the next 2 generations, be nothing more than a 100% vindictive, money spending, ball busting, harpy who spends all of her time complaining to friends, family and coworkers, about the human male while plotting his eventual demise in a strategy reminiscient of those in ancient times who severed their proboscis to anger their faces.

Blah, blah, blah....

"I just want you to hold me. We never snuggle anymore. Do these socks make my ass look fat?"

Posted: 1/12/2006 10:53:29 AM EDT

[#40]

Quoted:
Quoted:
The second X chromosme gives them a recurrent laryngeal nerve which has extra nerve fibers and an extra set of vocal cords for when the first tire out. Most are not even aware.

The extra nerve fibers come from an enlarged vocal area of the brain which has diminished the areas for reasoning, logic, memory and intellect. Interestingly the memory portions which are diminished are not all affected equally. For instance, the memory cortex for transgressions by males seems to be enhanced, again diminishing areas set aside for other functions.

Add to this the hormonal fluctuations affecting brain function, particulary the amygdala, and one can see where reason is totally overwhelmed by emotion, manifested in long winded vocal diatribes particulary venting about men.

Evolution has played a role as well. The area of the brain representing by sammich making and dish washing have atrophied to near nonexistent levels much to the discontent of the poor schmucks who foolishly marry them.

At current trends you average female will, in the next 2 generations, be nothing more than a 100% vindictive, money spending, ball busting, harpy who spends all of her time complaining to friends, family and coworkers, about the human male while plotting his eventual demise in a strategy reminiscient of those in ancient times who severed their proboscis to anger their faces.

Blah, blah, blah....

"I just want you to hold me. We never snuggle anymore. Do these socks make my ass look fat?"

*has seizure*

Posted: 1/12/2006 10:59:01 AM EDT

[#41]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
The second X chromosme gives them a recurrent laryngeal nerve which has extra nerve fibers and an extra set of vocal cords for when the first tire out. Most are not even aware.

The extra nerve fibers come from an enlarged vocal area of the brain which has diminished the areas for reasoning, logic, memory and intellect. Interestingly the memory portions which are diminished are not all affected equally. For instance, the memory cortex for transgressions by males seems to be enhanced, again diminishing areas set aside for other functions.

Add to this the hormonal fluctuations affecting brain function, particulary the amygdala, and one can see where reason is totally overwhelmed by emotion, manifested in long winded vocal diatribes particulary venting about men.

Evolution has played a role as well. The area of the brain representing by sammich making and dish washing have atrophied to near nonexistent levels much to the discontent of the poor schmucks who foolishly marry them.

At current trends you average female will, in the next 2 generations, be nothing more than a 100% vindictive, money spending, ball busting, harpy who spends all of her time complaining to friends, family and coworkers, about the human male while plotting his eventual demise in a strategy reminiscient of those in ancient times who severed their proboscis to anger their faces.

Blah, blah, blah....

"I just want you to hold me. We never snuggle anymore. Do these socks make my ass look fat?"

*has seizure*

That was easy.

Posted: 1/12/2006 11:00:26 AM EDT

[#42]

I find that long, heartfelt talks are often best handled over the phone.

Goes something like this:

"Hi, it's me"

"Hi"

"There's something I wanted to talk about"

"uh-huh"

"It started when I was talking with the girls when we went shopping yesterday"

"mm-hmm"

"and we were looking for outfits and Macy's had a sale on shoes, but Lisa brought the Explorer because the Lexus was getting detailed..."

* at this point you quietly set the receiver down, and, removing your shoes so you don't make any noise, creep silently out of the room and down to the garage, where you break out the hose & bucket, wash the car, fire up the Lawn_boy and give the yard a trim, get the ladder and clean out the gutters, reshingling the roof while up there, head to Lowe's and pick up a dozen 4 x 4's and 4 bags of Sakrete, line up and dig post holes for a new fence, put sealer on the 4x4 posts, get back in the truck head to Home Depot and pick up 6 stockade fence panels, stop off at McDonalds for a burger on the way back, stain the fence material, put away the ladder, close up the garage, remove work boots and quietly pad upstairs back into the living room and gently pick up the phone... *

"...so Alice said that Roy had been cheating on her with Samantha but we knew that wasn't true because Samantha was pregnant with Bill's brother's kid and then we saw the best capri's on sale at the Bon-Ton and we just had to buy new watches to match"

"mm-hmm, well glad to hear you had a good time, thanks for calling but I need to pick up that wallpaper you wanted"

"oh the wallpaper, thanks, I had forgot because Samantha, that tramp had us all in a tizzy, well I'll talk to you later than!"

"okey doke, bye!"

Posted: 1/12/2006 11:00:45 AM EDT

[#43]

Quoted:

Why?

The best advice I ever got.. when presented with the shit test of "Does my ass look big in blah blah blah" is..

Drop down on the floor, and fake a seizure like you've never faked one before.

Tis the only sure way of getting out of it.

Posted: 1/12/2006 11:03:10 AM EDT

[#44]

Quoted:
-snip-

hahahahaha!

Thats great!

Posted: 1/12/2006 11:08:49 AM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
Blah, blah, blah....

"I just want you to hold me. We never snuggle anymore. Do these socks make my ass look fat?"

As much as I ignore most of what continually comes out of my wife's mouth, I do key into statements such as the one on the tail end of what Pers just said.

Too much at stake to screw up and say...Uh.huh! Like Christmas, birthday...Laundry beng done...

Posted: 1/12/2006 11:14:51 AM EDT

[#46]

all you have to do is take the batteries out.

Posted: 1/12/2006 11:16:38 AM EDT

[#47]

Quoted:
Hmmmm, I'm the other way around. He is the one constantly talking about anything and everything, and is constantly asking me what's bothering me since I'm quiet. Doesn't necessarily mean anything's wrong.

Same here.

I've done the set the phone down and check it 5 minutes later thing too... and they never even realized I was gone- just yapping away the whole time. Once I discovered I could do this without getting caught I didn't mind phone calls as much anymore.

Thankfully I have a BF now who isn't afraid of silence. Ah, peace and quiet.

I work with a bunch of men and from what I've seen and heard, men talk MUCH more than women ever will, and about the most inane subjects.

They gossip, talk about farting (hot topic each day) and just go on and on and on. Oh and these aren't teenagers either. Average age must be 30 or 35 years old.

I just laugh my ass off whenever men start complaining about women talking.

Posted: 1/12/2006 11:17:03 AM EDT

[#48]

Quoted:
Quoted:

Why?

The best advice I ever got.. when presented with the shit test of "Does my ass look big in blah blah blah" is..
Drop down on the floor, and fake a seizure like you've never faked one before.

Tis the only sure way of getting out of it.

I grab the ass and say "Not fat enough for me, baby."