If you could beat the crap out of one person from the past, who would it be?

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - If you could beat the crap out of one person from the past, who would it be? (Page 1 of 3)

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:21:26 PM EDT

NOTE: Your beating will not change the course of history. This is just for your satisfaction and because they deserve it.

Had to put that in large type because someone always posts after only reading the thread title.

Here's the scenario:

God comes to you and says "For being such a great person, I'm going to give you the ability to hand out punishment for me. You can pick one person from history that really deserves a beating. I'll put you and them in the same room and let you go to work."

Your beating will not change the course of human history. It is solely to allow you to mete out punishment on someone who deserves it.

So who do you pick and why?

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:22:53 PM EDT

[#1]

A Hitler beating would be entertaining.

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:22:59 PM EDT

[#2]

Abe Lincoln. Skinny guys fight till their burger.

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:23:22 PM EDT

[#3]

Anyone who's ever abused any of the animals I've taken in and rehabbed.

dammit

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:24:11 PM EDT

[#4]

+1000 on the hitler beating

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:28:30 PM EDT

[#5]

That guy that boned the green monkey in africa and brought the '70's loving to a screeching halt via AIDS. Thanks for ruining it for the rest of us you primate humper~!

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:29:17 PM EDT

[#6]

All of the animals i've ever come across!

Edit for spelling.

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:29:31 PM EDT

[#7]

Tommy Castalano, fat kid that gave me a black eye when I was 8 years old. On my way home from school, swinging my school bag, didn't know he was behind me and I swung back too far. When I turned around to see what I hit, wham...right in the left eye with his metal Batman lunch box. When my mom took me to his house and demanded an apology, little puke wouldn't even come to the door.

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:30:48 PM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:
Tommy Castalano, fat kid that gave me a black eye when I was 8 years old. On my way home from school, swinging my school bag, didn't know he was behind me and I swung back too far. When I turned around to see what I hit, wham...right in the left eye with his metal Batman lunch box. When my mom took me to his house and demanded an apology, little puke wouldn't even come to the door.

Sound like you shouldn;t have been swinging your school bag.

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:35:51 PM EDT

[#9]

I think Sean Hannity could use a good azz kickin. I'd be happy just to have a chance at breaking off
a piece of his helmet hair.

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:36:42 PM EDT

[#10]

I already beat the crap out of the people I wanted to growing up. Generally after they made the mistake of not letting me walk away.

I have to admit kicking the crap out of Hitler has a real appeal. Or J. Edgar Hoover.

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:37:06 PM EDT

[#11]

Guy I went to high school with, Jim, who raped a friend of mine(took her virginity).
I broke his arm and put him in the hospital for a couple of days then. I would love to do it again.
Pat
0-1-25

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:39:09 PM EDT

[#12]

Jimmy Carter, just because he's got a face I'd love to pound on

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:41:53 PM EDT

[#13]

Mohammed for inventing the ROP

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:42:56 PM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
Tommy Castalano, fat kid that gave me a black eye when I was 8 years old. On my way home from school, swinging my school bag, didn't know he was behind me and I swung back too far. When I turned around to see what I hit, wham...right in the left eye with his metal Batman lunch box. When my mom took me to his house and demanded an apology, little puke wouldn't even come to the door.

Didn't you hear? Tommy "the lunch box" Castalano eventually moved up through the ranks and became a highly respected and feared capo in the NYC mob.

I don't care what God says or lets you do. I'd fuggeda about Tommy if I were you.

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:43:40 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
That guy that boned the green monkey in africa and brought the '70's loving to a screeching halt via AIDS. Thanks for ruining it for the rest of us you primate humper~!

That's a good one...

Tag

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:44:00 PM EDT

[#16]

A French Economist
j/k

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:48:51 PM EDT

[#17]

micheal crook, oh wait i can do that one right now.

If i could go back in time i would kick the crao out of Arafat.

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:49:20 PM EDT

[#18]

There are many but I have to say Tim Treadwell. I just watched Grizzly Man and if anyone derserved a thumping it would be him. He was one annoying stupid asshole.

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:54:29 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
There are many but I have to say Tim Treadwell. I just watched Grizzly Man and if anyone derserved a thumping it would be him. He was one annoying stupid asshole.

The bears felt the same way & handled your work for you.

Day 3

Dear Diary,

...damn he's a jackass but if I eat him the rangers are going to cap me

Day 6

Dear Diary,

... He's getting on my nerves more and more each day, and yet I fear to do much more than poop on his sleeping bag lest I get shot. Still, my patience is being severly worked. And I have fleas.

Day 15

Dear Diary,

...the hippie bastard called me snookums and then the annoying butt pirate sang little songs to me like I'm some fookin schoolkid while I was trying to catch some salmon.I'm going to eat him. To hell with it.

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:55:40 PM EDT

[#20]

Um, myself, before I made some of the stupid decisions I have made...

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:55:57 PM EDT

[#21]

I'd think I'd give myself at 12 or 13 a good beating, and tell me to pull my act together.

I'm sure I would learn a valuable lesson.

Posted: 1/6/2006 2:58:11 PM EDT

[#22]

Jesus Christ

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:00:31 PM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
Jesus Christ

I've got $5,000 on the Messiah in round one.

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:01:34 PM EDT

[#24]

Attila the Hun. Just so I could say I kicked his ass.

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:02:20 PM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
Jesus Christ

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:02:44 PM EDT

[#26]

I'd like to lay a beatdown on Karl Marx with Joe Stalin's severed head.

Yeah I know I stretched the rules a little, but you know...

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:03:22 PM EDT

[#27]

I refuse to answer because when I do beat the shit out of the scum bag......

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:04:58 PM EDT

[#28]

Ghandi

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:05:11 PM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Jesus Christ

I've got $5,000 on the Messiah in round one.

I got $10k that Peter will slice his ear off before JC gets out of the corner.

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:10:30 PM EDT

[#30]

Rosie O'Donnel , Tom Cruise ,and Barbara Streisand. I would be Moe and the others would get their asses beat "stooge style"

I know the rule was that we could pick only be one but i'd get right back in line till i'm done.

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:12:18 PM EDT

[#31]

Sherman
Beat him down and let the women and children finish him off

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:15:10 PM EDT

[#32]

The writers and signers of the 1934 NFA and 68 gun act. And Hitler/Stalin/Mao.

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:15:14 PM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:
Jesus Christ

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:21:46 PM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:
Jesus Christ

theres a loose cannon site staff thats going to ban you for that one

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:21:48 PM EDT

[#35]

Quoted:
Sherman
Beat him down and let the women and children finish him off

William Techumseh Sherman?

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:22:59 PM EDT

[#36]

Mike Moore.

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:23:47 PM EDT

[#37]

ONE Person?

There are so many people I'd love to, as the phrase used to go, bend, fold, staple, spindle and mutilate just to get warmed up!
And I'm not talking about Anti's and Democrats either!
There was this one crud-hopper in Basic…..

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:24:39 PM EDT

[#38]

Do we get some warmup time on someone else? You know, politicians or the like?

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:24:43 PM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:
Mike Moore.

Leave some for the rest....Wait a minute. Scratch that. There's plenty of him to go around.

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:25:32 PM EDT

[#40]

Quoted:
I'd think I'd give myself at 12 or 13 a good beating, and tell me to pull my act together.

I'm sure I would learn a valuable lesson.

I was probably tougher at 12!

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:27:56 PM EDT

[#41]

FDR; I figure I could take a cripple.

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:29:38 PM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Jesus Christ

theres a loose cannon site staff thats going to ban you for that one

So being anti-religion is against the CoC now? Interesting

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:29:43 PM EDT

[#43]

Easy.

Former employer's wife.

Would it be OK if I used a package of hot dog buns so it take a loooooong time?

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:30:57 PM EDT

[#44]

Schumer ...

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:31:45 PM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
That guy that boned the green monkey in africa and brought the '70's loving to a screeching halt via AIDS. Thanks for ruining it for the rest of us you primate humper~!

+1-also, the name karl marx comes to mind

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:31:48 PM EDT

[#46]

Place all of the arrogant lying lawyers and judges in a row peter to butt with slick willie at the end of the line. And in one swoop put both feet up all of their candy asses.

I'd be hip deep in asses.

Posted: 1/6/2006 3:33:53 PM EDT

[#47]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Sherman
Beat him down and let the women and children finish him off

William Techumseh Sherman?

oh yeah, i forgot about him....his suffering would be legendary....

Posted: 1/6/2006 4:08:49 PM EDT

[#48]

LBJ

Posted: 1/6/2006 4:09:46 PM EDT

[#49]

Jane Fonda

Posted: 1/6/2006 4:52:48 PM EDT

[#50]

I'll put here the same thing I put on the Pat Roberston post (the guy who asserts that Sharon's stroke is the result of some devine punishment for dividing the holy land). This guy is my pick. Not only does he have no grasp of geo-politics, but simple cause and effect relationships also seem to ellude him. So yeah, he needs as ass kicking...
(PUNCH) "Where's your Messiah now?!?!" (KICK)

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - If you could beat the crap out of one person from the past, who would it be? (Page 1 of 3)

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