User Panel
Posted: 1/4/2006 7:29:00 AM EDT
Do you fellas know Bill Brasky?
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Bill Brasky
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Jump to: navigation, search Bill Brasky was the central figure of several sketches on the television sketch comedy program Saturday Night Live between 1996 and 1998. The format of these sketches was as follows: Three or four men get loudly drunk in a bar, hotel restaurant, Little League game, or other semi-public place and reminisce about Bill Brasky's superhuman accomplishments, usually focused on his virility, celebrity connections, and his reckless disregard for human life. Typically, the three cycle through the same genres of comment four or five times: one man will recount a tall tale about Brasky, the second will expound on the benefits of expense accounts, the third will hit on a waitress, the first will drunkenly blurt out something embarrassing, and then the cycle will repeat starting with the second salesman, getting more outrageous each time around. After a few minutes of this Bill Brasky himself will appear, via a forced perspective shot and either demand or offer everyone scotch, ending the skit. Bill Brasky's full name is William Robert Brasky. He has a wife and a young daughter named Debbie. Cast member Will Ferrell and writer Adam McKay wrote these sketches. |
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Bill Brasky, he used to buy my kids gifts every Christmas, here's to Bill Brasky.. Cheers!
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Well, anyway.. he shows up at the church in his golf pants, caked in mud. Well, ol' Bill Brasky pushes the priest aside and says, "I'll baptize that piece of calamari!" Then he pours Scotch all over my baby son and says, "There! You're baptized!"
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Bill Brasky had sex with my Wife and ruined her for all mortal Men, to Bill Brasky!
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The character of Johnny Appleseed was based on Brasky except for the part about planting apple trees and not raping men.
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That ain't mud. |
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One day me and Bill were drinking in a parking lot, and we drank for so long they built a bar around us. When we decided to leave, Bill lit a match and burned the place to the ground and said " I like to leave things the way I found em"
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Bill Brasky stole my wife and turned me gay. He's a helluva guy!
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Did I ever tell you about the time Bill Brasky sold me into slavery? I woke up on a boat to Thailand, and while I was there Bill sired three beautiful children with my wife. To Bill Brasky! |
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One time Bill Brasky and Chuck Norris were out drinking. They got into an arguement over whose dick was bigger. A fist fight broke out. The result? The big bang. Thats where the universe came from. It's still taught in most southern schools systems.
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Well, I'm in Corpus Christi on business a month ago, and I had this eight-foot tall Asian waiter.. which made me a little curious, so I asked him his name, and sure enough it's Ho Tran Brasky!
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Yeah, I know Bill Brasky. He's a 10 foot-tall beast-man, who showers in vodka, and feeds his baby shrimp scampi.
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Wow, I feel like I missed something important,.......I just can't figure out what!!!
When we were teenagers there was a little fag named 'Willie' Brasky who ran around trying to suck our dicks,coincidence?? I think NOT!!!...... |
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We once had a bachelor party for Bill Brasky. He ate the entire cake, before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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Brasky's family crest is a picture of a barracuda eating Neil Armstrong.
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Bill Brasky? Yeah, I know Bill Brasky.
Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky went hunting? Brasky decides he's going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one of them with a machette. They all begged for their lives...except Fleagle. Brasky drank a full glass of liquid LSD with his eggs. Then he slept for 8 months straight. When he woke he rubbed his eyes and said, "All in all, I prefer gin." He taught me how to make love to a woman, and how to scold a child. To Bill Brasky!!!!! -Jason M |
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Bill Brasky is the toughest man that I ever met. I saw Bill Brasky take Paul Bunyon's axe from him and then bitch slap ole Paul. After knocking Paul out, Brasky used the axe to kill Bunyon's oxe and make steaks out of him. It wasn't long before Brasky was cooking Blue on the grill and using Bunyon's wife as a concubine.
Here's to Bill Brasky! |
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Yeah I know who you're talking about. That dude John Goodman was talking about.
To Bill Brasky! I thought for a sec your title said Brady. |
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One day while I was at the range, shooting my Barrett .50 cal. @ 1200 meters. Brasky kicked me in the ass while I was in the prone position. And told me, “That’s not the way to shot that thing!” with gun in one hand and a 5th of Scotch in the other. He took his shot one handed standing, while downing his Scotch (he loves his Scotch). Standing in amazement sure enough the incendiary round hit the target. Then he said, “That’s how you do it pussy!” and slapped me breaking my jaw. YEAH it was wired shut for two months.
To Bill Brasky! A ten-foot-tall, two-ton son of a bitch who could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing! |
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One time I was with Brasky in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Brasky goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm Bill Brasky! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'Billbrasky' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!
To Bill Brasky! |
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yeah i know Bill Brasky....
Bill Brasky had a four day heart attack...a day for each chamber. At the autopsy, they said his heart looked like a basketball filled with riccotta cheese I once saw him scissor kick Angela Landsbury. He gave a handjob to a manta ray. TO BILL BRASKY |
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you beat me to it... my favorite!! |
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If they had children together.... Imagine the madness. We'd all be dead. |
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you have no choice they'll both take your virginity |
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He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
BILL BRASKY! |
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Brasky would put on a white tie and tails and would walk his cobra through the park on a leash. He named the cobra Beverly, and he taught it how to fetch and dial a phone. But then one day it bit the maid. So with tears in his eyes Brasky had to shoot the maid.
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