A couple of years ago, I was working a booth at a trade show in Essen, Germany. Whenever someone would approach me in the booth, I would say "I only speak English". The younger people would give their English a try, but the older ones I just directed to one of the German's working in the booth.
So, this British guy walks up and asks if anybody speaks English, I step up and say "Yes, I'm from California". The guy rolls his eyes and shoots back with "Oh, just barely". (
)
I immediately went into "surfer mode" with "Duuude, that was tight, chill out." followed with "We'll hook you up with watcha need, just give it a little hang time, it'll all be cool". I continued with that until he left, and my German friends, who speak English and knew what I was doing, and I have laughed about that ever since.