I was lucky enough to trap one earlier this week, and have the carcase on ice right now. I think Stealth and I are going to try a nice Vacuum marinade on it. I believe he is going to grill it again this year. And I hope he does not burn it like last year.

Have any of you had assmonkey in a dish? I have only had it as a single steak. Would it be good used in a chili, or a stew?

My wife uses it in stew occasionally.

Tastes like shit!

WTF?!?!?

Quoted: My wife uses it in stew occasionally. Tastes like shit!

That's what were finding out.. I guess the key is in the marinade. You have to let it set or it just tastes like shit!

Slow-cooker with a package of onion soup and 1/2 c. of wine or broth and a garlic clove or six.  

Make sure you get it good and clean, you don't want to taint it.

Garnish with a handful of chocolate starfish and dingleberries.  Serve with a bowl of leather Cheerio's.

I think this thread may be going downhill...

Quoted: Have any of you had assmonkey in a dish? I have only had it as a single steak. Would it be good used in a chili, or a stew?

I do not like AssMonkey in a dish
I do not like them
Sam, I am

I do not like AssMonkey here or there
I do not like AssMonkey anywhere
I do not like AssMonkey in a boat
I would not, could not, eat AssMonkey with a goat

I will not eat AssMonkey in the rain
I do not like AssMonkey on a train
I do not like AssMonkey in a box
I will not eat AssMonkey with a fox

I do not like AssMonkey in a house
I would not, could not, eat AssMonkey with a side of mouse
I do not like AssMonkey in a dish
I do not like AssMonkey
Sam, I am

AssMonkey in a chili..... ?
AssMonkey in a stew..... ?
I don't like AssMonkey .... no thank you!

Quoted: I think this thread may be goind downhill...

Impossible.

It was started at an all-time low.

Assmonkey, Assmonkey
Wherever I go, he goes
My Assmonkey and me, will climb a tree
My Assmonkey and me, will do most everything
Assmonkey, Assmonkey

Quoted: Quoted: Have any of you had assmonkey in a dish? I have only had it as a single steak. Would it be good used in a chili, or a stew? I do not like AssMonkey in a dish I do not like them Sam, I am I do not like AssMonkey here or there I do not like AssMonkey anywhere I do not like AssMonkey in a boat I would not, could not, eat AssMonkey with a goat I will not eat AssMonkey in the rain I do not like AssMonkey on a train I do not like AssMonkey in a box I will not eat AssMonkey with a fox I do not like AssMonkey in a house I would not, could not, eat AssMonkey with a side of mouse I do not like AssMonkey in a dish I do not like AssMonkey Sam, I am AssMonkey in a chili..... ? AssMonkey in a stew..... ? I don't like AssMonkey .... no thank you!

Why does this make me laugh so hard?

I always have an urge to Drozd Down on an Assmonkey.

BTW for those who have never had Assmonkey, here a pic of one:

I prefer Dry Aged Assmonkey!

Hey McNasty,


Just serve it up with some weak-ass salsa that has pineapple in it.   Mmmm..mmmmm...good.

From what I understand Assmonkey's are a native of Arkansas and have migrated to adjoining states.  NOTE#Thats not my personal opinion.  Just my perception from extensive research over the past 5 minutes.

Oh Jesus, what have I unleashed?!?
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An Assmonkey you say!

Quoted: Hey McNasty, Just serve it up with some weak-ass salsa that has pineapple in it.   Mmmm..mmmmm...good.

Burn heretic burn!!

Give me Assmonkey pie any ol' day!

Turns out, you can drink some assmonkey while eating your assmonkey...


www.barmeister.com/cgi-bin/drink.view.pl?drink=94


Who knew?

I really like pickled assmonkey feet.

I tried some assmonkey sushi but I drank too much sake to remember if it was good.

My wife has a recipe for arroz con assmonkey that we're gonna try for New Year's.

A local Mexican restaurant serves Assmonkey de Carnitas with Guacamole and Pico de Gallo.

Talk about some good shit!

Do assmonkeys make good pets?

Quoted: WTF?!?!?

+10000000

Quoted: Do assmonkeys make good pets?

They like to burrow, may be dangerous as pets.

Quoted: Quoted: WTF?!?!? +10000000

www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=420019

A little more than halfway down.

Quote from Poster Child "The first one was looking right at me. But I found out one of their weaknesses, other than butter. Their visual acuity is based on movement, much like a T-Rex's. So I just held perfectly still and waited until she caught scent of the potato salad. With her attention diverted, I slipped away".

HOLY CRAP!  I almost fell outta my chair laughing.  I missed the OG post.  Thanks for re-direct.

Ore. troopers defend shooting of assmonkey
04:32 PM PST on Wednesday, December 25, 2005
By KRISTINA BRENNEMAN, kgw.com Staff

METZ HILL, Ore. -- Rosalie Kiff isn’t talking anymore about the death of her assmonkey, Precious.

AP photo

A assmonkey at a local assmonkey show.

It’s too painful. Three days ago, the assmonkey was shot by state troopers after running loose on the highway for several hours and biting a trooper’s index finger. Police said the assmonkey had no collar and was at risk of causing a major traffic accident on Interstate 5.

They assured the 67-year-old Kiff they didn’t heartlessly shoot Precious.

The assmonkey got loose after Kiff crashed her car on I-5 Sunday. While being moved to an ambulance, Precious wriggled out of her collar and ran away. Officers told Kiff, as she was being taken to Mercy Medical Center in Roseburg, they would look for assmonkey.

But as the hours passed, and other accidents occurred, Oregon State Police troopers lost sight of the assmonkey.

Senior Trooper Kirk Freeman finally spotted Precious about two miles away from where Kiff had crashed, according to Hageman. He did not realize the assmonkey had been involved with Kiff’s earlier wreck near Metz Hill.

Freeman saw it underneath a semitrailer and reached for the assmonkey, which then bit off the tip of his index finger and ran away, Hageman said.

Freeman and another officer, both of whom specialize in fish and wildlife, tried to chase down Precious with a fishing net. They had almost caught her amidst some blackberry bushes when she got away again, Hageman said.

Trooper Don Frerishs then shot the assmonkey to prevent her from running onto the highway and causing an accident, which he said has happened before. The other concern, Hageman said, was that Precious didn’t have a collar and there was no indication it had an updated shot for rabies.

“There were concerns about the health of the assmonkey and the impact on the trooper,” Hageman said. “The assmonkey was shook up from crash and was not acting tame in any way. They were concerned about the assmonkey getting into road and causing a crash. That’s happened before. He (Frerishs) felt like he had to make a decision.”

State police policy allows troopers to shoot assmonkeys if they pose a hazard to others, he said. “This was a little assmonkey but they have a lot of jaw pressure,” Hageman said.

Kiff, who lives in Oakland, told the Roseburg News-Review that she was angry at the troopers’ response that Precious was threatening.

“She must have growled, she must have snarled,” Kiff said at the time. “She was scared… but they did not have to shot the assmonkey. She’s 11 pounds.”

The assmonkey, she told the News-Review was like a family member. “My heart’s broken and my arms are empty,” Kiff said.

Hageman said he and supervisor, Oregon State Police Sgt. Dean Perske, had talked to Kiff and the incident is being reviewed.

“ I assured her we would look into it and make a determination from there,” he said. “A lot of it comes down to whether it was a reasonable decision someone would make.”

Added Hageman: “Witnesses at the scene said troopers made a considerable effort before destroying the assmonkey.”

Trooper Freeman, who lost a considerable amount of blood, is wearing a cast on finger, he said.

Dam JBT, not even an assmonkey is  safe.

My great-grandparents fled to this country during the great Caribbean assmonkey famine of 1900. They had it much harder than the Irish and their stinking potatoes.

Assmonkey should first be shaved clean to remove stubble. Next it should be marinated overnight in white zinfandel, cloves, and red onion. Place an apple in its mouth and cook on a rotisserie. Serve with butt munchies and tossed salad.

They are best when cooked live.  The only problem is you better not be sensitive.  When you throw them live into a pot of boiling water, they scream really loudly.



You can really feel the pain in the assmonkey's scream.

Quoted: They are best when cooked live.  The only problem is you better not be sensitive.  When you throw them live into a pot of boiling water, they scream really loudly. You can really feel the pain in the assmonkey's scream.

that is why you put them in a cold pot and slowly turn up the heat.. That way he does not know your cooking him.. Incremental-ism will get them all the time..

To me eating a assmonkey is like eating a dog. If you want to eat an assmonkey, go to Korea.

Quoted: To me eating a assmonkey is like eating a dog. If you want to eat an assmonkey, go to Korea.

And there are those among us who believe that assmonkeys are too evolved and domesticated to be used as food.

Hah!

Quoted: Quoted: To me eating a assmonkey is like eating a dog. If you want to eat an assmonkey, go to Korea. And there are those among us who believe that assmonkeys are too evolved and domesticated to be used as food. Hah!

Like a pig?

Will there be assmonkey dinner pics?

If you dry it out,  you can make Assmonkey Jerkey...yum, yum!

Quoted: BTW for those who have never had Assmonkey, here a pic of one: www.planetsoldier.com/skinz/forums/assmonkey.jpg

That's no assmonkey, thats my ex! Merry Christmas, Beeeeeeeeatchhh!

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: WTF?!?!? +10000000 www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=420019 A little more than halfway down.

Thanks, I needed that  

What the hell is "Assmonkey"?

Quoted: What the hell is "Assmonkey"?

You must read the other thread mentioned in this one, it's freaking hilarious!

Quoted: What the hell is "Assmonkey"?

See the post directly above your post asking what an assmonkey is.

Quoted: Quoted: What the hell is "Assmonkey"? See the post directly above your post asking what an assmonkey is.

Okay... I get it now...Fat_McNasty is hunting down idiot co-workers!

Hillarious threads Fat_McNasty...reminds me of that one thread where Fat_McNasty went into Papa Murphy's pizza, and when asked if what he was doing this weekend, Fat_McNasty replied:

hookers and blow.

I kid you not...going to find the thread.
Click me for Fat McNasty's thread

Stop, Please stop. It hurts to laugh this hard!

Quoted: Stop, Please stop. It hurts to laugh this hard!

Good.  Assmonkeys fear laughter.

So if the guy next door to you has an assmonkey would you eat it?

Quoted: So if the guy next door to you has an assmonkey would you eat it?

Is it kept in the house or is it staked and chained out side with no food and water?

Quoted: Quoted: So if the guy next door to you has an assmonkey would you eat it? Is it kept in the house or is it staked and chained out side with no food and water?

I am talking about a house kept assmonkey. But when those assmonkeys go in heat it is very hard to keep them inside. So would you eat an assmonkey that got loose from someones home because the assmonkey is in heat? Another question, would you breed assmonkeys for profit?

How many ass pennies would it take to pay for an assmonkey?


Click me for Ass Pennies.

Eat it raw
Assmonkey sushi

Always make sure you wipe your assmonkey before cooking.