Who is Jack Schitt?
The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when
someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt". Now you can intellectually handle
the situation.
Jack is the only son of Ahw Schitt and O. Schitt. Ahw Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of NeeDeep N. Schitt Inc. They had one
son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious coule produced
6 children. Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt and the twins
- Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school
drop out. However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe divorced.
Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock and, because her kits were living with
them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe
Schitt-Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Shit married Loda Schitt and produced a son of nervous
disposition, Chicken Schitt. Two other of the 6 children, Fulla Schitt and Giva
Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the
Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper
read - "the Schitt-Happens Wedding"!
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd and Hoarse. Bull Schitt the
prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with
his new Italian bride - Pisa Schitt.
So, now when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them