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Posted: 12/15/2005 12:13:52 AM EDT
[#1]
I was trimming out a ceader log with a chainsaw.
Branch about the size of my thumb caught the chain and smacked me right on the nads. Sooooo there I was on my hands and knees unable to move with a running chainsaw right in front of my face, don't recall how I got it shut off. My dad was running a cat smothing out the dirt in the area we had just cleared and he sees me over in the branches and logs an gives me a look of "WTF?" I pick up the stick that hit me and he undersyands and goes back to what he was doing. |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 12:14:55 AM EDT
[#2]
About a year ago I was building a upper receiver into a full blown rifle. It was about 2AM and I wanted to grab a quick smoke before I went onto the next step. I lit up, and decided I needed to take a leak. I went out into the front yard and pulled the "little guy" out and let loose with a stream, Before that first drop hit the grass, The cherry from my smoke dropped off and landed on the "little guy's" head.
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Posted: 12/15/2005 12:15:48 AM EDT
[#3]
I was up on the second tier of scafolding tending some brick layers when the roofers let a bundle of shingles slide off the roof. The whole bundle landed on my head, knocked me on my ass. I landed face first on the 2X12 that I was using as a cat walk. I bounced off of that and fell off the scafold onto another 2X12 that was stacked with bricks. I flipped that over on top of me as I hit the ground. The plank stacked with bricks sort of broke my fall and actually saved me from serious injury. Just a few scratches, bruises and a knot on my head.
I went back to work pretty much right away because the bricklayers took a break while me and another guy reset the materials. It was quite manly. |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 12:20:04 AM EDT
[#4]
Umm, mine involves a vacuum cleaner, and my "man".
Drat, I should have read the instructions before, I would have noticed that there was a rotating blade just inside the tube  j/k Actually, the worst that I've done is slip off a bike saddle on to the frame 
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Posted: 12/15/2005 12:21:46 AM EDT
[#5]
Hmm when I was in grade school we had to do gymnastics for a few weeks in gym. Well when I went over backwards on the uneven bars my motion was slightly resisted and I heard an audible crunch. I think everyone else heard too. I dropped down on my feet as everyone stared. The instructor asked "what is wrong." All I got out was that "I hit...." and then I saw pretty colors and went down.
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Posted: 12/15/2005 12:30:32 AM EDT
[#6]
Chlorine gas explosion. Roughly that of a WW1 injury. Backed up pool pump flew, and the air in the pipe was supercharged with almost pure liquid chlorine and making it into a vapor when it KB'ed.
I'd never wish it on my worst enemy... well... maybe... 
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Posted: 12/15/2005 12:31:29 AM EDT
[#7]
I'm not quite following that one...What 
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Posted: 12/15/2005 12:38:53 AM EDT
[#8]
Left nut + .270 Remington = surgery and serious pain.
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Posted: 12/15/2005 12:39:47 AM EDT
[#9]
Filipina ex-wife
 She tried, but I saved Willy and the Boys!
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Posted: 12/15/2005 12:42:37 AM EDT
[#10]
I have had multiple hospitol visits due to the abuses I have endured , but this realy isn't the time or place for that kind of talk .
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Posted: 12/15/2005 1:44:02 AM EDT
[#11]
I was up in a tree trying to build a tree fort for the neighbors kid and I slipped and fell about 20-25 feet into a push up position. After picking my cusing body up i realized i broke both my wrists. When I got the x-rays back both of them looked like I that sucked 6 weeks with two casts on trying to drive my new motorcycle i just bought 2 days before the fall.
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Posted: 12/15/2005 1:53:46 AM EDT
[#12]
I was married.
Now I'm divorced. I survived. 
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Posted: 12/15/2005 1:54:22 AM EDT
[#13]
Dude, that's awful, but I was laughing for about 5 min after reading this. |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 2:59:11 AM EDT
[#14]
crabs
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Posted: 12/15/2005 3:01:53 AM EDT
[#15]
I was sparring in Tae Kwan Do....I was about 22 and the guy I was sparring was in his late 30s. I USUALLY wore a cup, but I'd forgotten to bring it that day. This guy had a pulled groin, and was having trouble keeping his kicks up. He nailed me right in the nads with a spinning back kick.
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Posted: 12/15/2005 3:02:54 AM EDT
[#16]
I've had to speak to a surgeon do to the injury on my jingle bells.
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Posted: 12/15/2005 3:04:34 AM EDT
[#17]
About 6 months ago, I was with a rather wild young filly. She was on top and we were really going to town. She started saying, "Smack my ass!" So, being the caring man concerned for her needs, I haul off and lay a big ol' smack! However, due to the dynamics of the particular moving target, the tip of my middle finger missed the target. Instead, it contacted, like the tip of a whip, my right gonad.
OMFGBBQ!!!111OneOneOne I tried to hold on, but I finally had to 'fess up. It was the worst pain I had ever endured while "he'in and she'in" and I needed a break! How bad did it hurt? Well, she offered to "kiss it and make it better" and ... (deep breath) ... I declined! God, that hurt! |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 3:09:53 AM EDT
[#18]
1 word..
Pogostick |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 3:20:26 AM EDT
[#19]
Let's just call it an unorthodox dismount from a dirt bike at speed.
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Posted: 12/15/2005 3:35:33 AM EDT
[#20]
Unfortunately I often step on mine.
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Posted: 12/15/2005 3:49:03 AM EDT
[#21]
Learning how to ride an old Honda dirt bike on a friend's farm when I was about 10. All I knew was I was supposed to let go of this lever and twist this handle, so I did. I did a full clutch drop from zero, front tire stands right up, I'm holding on to the bars for dear life, my butt slides off the seat, and I get dragged a good 10 yds with my nuts on the back tire before the bike gets unbalanced and falls over.
If you can imagine at 10 yrs old waking up the next morning and your entire "area" i s black and blue from one thigh to the other, and being waaaay to scared to say anything about it. I was convinced that I'd never have children. Good news is that regular maintaince and cleaning have ensured that all is in working order. |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 4:02:36 AM EDT
[#22]
Paintball shot to the scrotum from about 20 feet away. Dropped me to my knees.
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Posted: 12/15/2005 4:12:55 AM EDT
[#23]
Hearing an ex of mine laughing with a current female co-worker about a rather embarrassing incident involving me.
Nothing sharper than a woman's scornful laugh, I don't care if you had your balls crushed in a vise- that laugh is a deep stabbing man injury. |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 4:13:31 AM EDT
[#24]
A gymnastic injury hardly qualifies as a "man type" injury. |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 5:00:13 AM EDT
[#25]
I got into a fight with a drunk guy in a 7-11 about 15 years ago.
The guy got his knee between my legs and gave me two good shots to my sack. It did not stop the fight but my balls were bruised purple the next day. Adrenaline is the ultimate pain killer.
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Posted: 12/15/2005 5:24:17 AM EDT
[#26]
I've done some damage to myself, but the worst I've seen was a friend that while surfing(summertime, just shorts on) wiped out and hit himself in the nuts with the top/back of one of the fins. His sack got cut open and his balls literally fell out, one down each leg of his shorts. He scooped them up and got out of the water. It looked like golfballs when you take the outer cover off, a bunch of coiled up rubberbands, hanging by more rubberbands. A doctor was able to put them back and sew him back up.
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Posted: 12/15/2005 5:31:25 AM EDT
[#27]
Soccer goalie for six years - never wore a cup. I got hit more times than I can remember - the worst being a guy who tried to do a backwards bicycle kick, like you used to see Pele do. I jumped in the air over him to catch the ball in flight and he nailed me, with all his backflipping momentum, square in the balls. The only good part is that when I got in fights, the ol' nut kick didn't faze me that much. I'm amazed that years later I was able to father three kids. |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 5:31:27 AM EDT
[#28]
I got up and stuck it in an antique fan with steel blades and hardly any guard.....no injury thanks to my catlike reflexes. |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 6:59:42 AM EDT
[#29]
LoL, thats a real joy killer, though I thnk I would have accepted the kiss. |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 7:04:11 AM EDT
[#30]
broke a blood vessle in my manhood while having sex with the soon to be Mrs. Long. Woke up the next day, all I can say is "Papa Smurf"
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Posted: 12/15/2005 7:09:11 AM EDT
[#31]
Fell off my bike and cut my scroat in a few places. Not really bad, but enough to bleed.
There is no panic like bleeding pecker panic. |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 7:48:52 AM EDT
[#32]
While in a hotel room doing the dance of the two backed maniac a loud knock at the door let us know the pizza we ordered two hours ago was here.
KNOCK KNOCK I Leapt of the bed and grabbed my jeans, one leg two leg, KNOCK KNOCK, In a fucking minute was the last thing I said then ZIP OOhh  AGGAGGAGGGG oh my god jesus fuck fuck fuck oooOOOhhhOO" . I am now on the floor grasping at the zipper that is half way up and contains my manhood in the death grip like that of a pit bull. The zipper will not pull down, the pain is mind numbing and the pizza guy with the KNOCK KNOCK again isnt helping. The girlfriend pays the pizza guy and then comes to my aid but the zipper is locked soild and will not move. I have her go get my leatherman and she tries to bust the zipper with no luck but alot of screaming on my part. I then stuck the needle nose part of the pliers into the zipper latch and broke the zipper allowing me to free my bloodied manhood. It took a month to heal, I still have a scar that looks like I had 3 inches of stitches. |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 7:51:24 AM EDT
[#33]
You win. Owww. |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 8:03:39 AM EDT
[#34]
+1 The winner |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 8:06:57 AM EDT
[#35]
after driving from eastern canada to west palm beach in 40 hrs, i got home, and decided to "rub one out."
the result looked sorta like a cherry swirl milk shake- about 50% blood!!!! the urologist's diagnosis? "eh, it happens. don't drive for so long. that'll be $200" scariest thing that's ever happened to me |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 8:16:06 AM EDT
[#36]
Tango Mike Indigo. |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 8:27:12 AM EDT
[#37]
Holy shit that made me jump back and cringe reading that. |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 9:05:42 AM EDT
[#38]
13 stitches to sew my left forefinger back on!
Wiped out on a dirt bike, road rash all the way up on my left side/back. For two weeks I would get up in the mornings with the bed sheet still stuck to me and "wear" them into the shower to soak them off.
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Posted: 12/15/2005 9:08:51 AM EDT
[#39]
I was ironing my cammies one night, while wearing open-fly boxer shorts.
It sizzled... |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 9:14:38 AM EDT
[#40]
DAMN!I was going to relate an incident in Air Assault School and a log obstacle......kind of like that one scene in "Stripes"..........now I think I will just thank GOd that was the worst that's happened to me.... |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 9:28:04 AM EDT
[#41]
Zipper.
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Posted: 12/15/2005 9:30:00 AM EDT
[#42]
Massive hangover Sunday morning, lying in bed half awake when my little weird black cat named Woodpile bites me right on the head.
It was 25yr's ago and my wife still kids me about it...! |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 9:36:22 AM EDT
[#43]
OMG!!, Can't...stop... laughing....... |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 9:39:17 AM EDT
[#44]
Poison Ivy.
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Posted: 12/15/2005 9:47:16 AM EDT
[#45]
I had my new puppy in my bedroom while I was changing clothes to go to work. 8 week old puppies have needle teeth. He must have saw something he wanted and jumped. He was hanging for a few seconds. The sound of woman screaming was heard throughout the entire neighborhood!
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Posted: 12/15/2005 9:51:07 AM EDT
[#46]
As a kid the tree branch I was sitting on broke. I feel about 4' and stradled another branch. And like the cartoons, I grabbed my crouch with both hands and feel sideways off that branch. The ground was still about 8' below me. oufff.....
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Posted: 12/15/2005 9:59:27 AM EDT
[#47]
worst man injury was when I was kid.
First was when I was on a swing set and the swing started to swing sidways and smack. A frame leg right between the legs. Stars and almost blacked out. second time was when I was riding a bicycle. I wasn't wearing underwear, the sack made a public appearance and my scrotum got sliced open on the metal clip that holds the brake cable for the rear brakes. No pain but lotsa blood and mostly embarassment. |
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Posted: 12/15/2005 10:24:32 AM EDT
[#48]
Had a bad case of blue balls once. Could barely walk the next day.
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Posted: 12/15/2005 10:33:13 AM EDT
[#49]
I was a lacrosse goalie. Played at a D1 school in college. 100mph shots. Enough said.
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Posted: 12/15/2005 10:44:48 AM EDT
[#50]
Since I got shot, I have been full on kicked twice and the pain never materialized. |
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