How far would you go for a friend?

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - How far would you go for a friend? (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:04:38 PM EDT

I have a very good friend who just lost her driver's license. Suspended for six months due to too many tickets
over a year or two.

She won't take the chance of driving without a license.

She doesn't have anyone near her that is in a position to be able to drive her to and from work, not
every day of her work week.

She has a fair distance to commute. 80 miles one way.

She's made arrangement for SOME days of the week, but not for all of them.

I'm able to fill in the gaps, pick her up, take her to work, and in the evening, take her home.
BUT, to do it, I am looking at the prospect of driving SIX HOURS PER DAY (every day I do this)
for her.

She works in sales and works either day shifts or evening shifts, and depending on the situation,
I can either help out for up to two evening shifts or one morning shift during the weekdays, plus
any shifts on weekends. I can manage this because my workplace is flexible with hours
and doesn't care if I get my 40 hours a week by working four 10 hour shifts or five eight hour
shifts.

However, usually I work five 10 hour shifts and take the 10 hours per week overtime, so by
doing this for my friend I will be reducing my possible income a little bit.

I'm not going to be the driver for my friend for free. I'm setting a rate of 80 bucks per day,
which is less than my usual daily wage but not a lot less. However it is a lot less than what
I can earn on an all-overtime day. I'm simply not about to charge a good friend more than 80
bucks a day because it's too much to ask. 80 bucks a day is still a LOT cheaper than any taxi
or other driver for hire would charge.

Yes, she does make enough in her job that 80 bucks a day for driving is affordable to her. That is,
she can afford it IF she gets to work every day and does well.

I'd like to charge her even less, but she'd have to be a lot closer for me to do that. I have to
give up working a day if I take her in for a day shift, or give up half a day if she goes in for the
evening shift, and either way, it's six hours in the car for me per day. I can't give that away!

What I'm not sure is....do I really want to commit to doing this?

What would YOU do? How far would you go for a good friend in need?

And before anyone asks....no, this person is not anyone I've ever talked about before here at arfcom, so don't ask.

CJ

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:06:44 PM EDT

[#1]

$80 is not worth it.
No offense, but your friend sounds like a knuckel head.

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:07:33 PM EDT

[#2]

How far would you go for a good friend in need?

All the way!

I wouldnt even have to think about it.

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:07:44 PM EDT

[#3]

I have one friend that I would do anything in the world for including driving him anywhere he needed to go.

The rest of my friends...I would feel bad for them and might do it once or twice, but thats about it.

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:09:45 PM EDT

[#4]

She should check into a hardship plea filing to get her license back, and then SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!!!

If she can cough up ~$1600/month for a ride, she could get an apartment closer to her job.

I'd help this person by helping her find ways out of her predicament rather than racking up 160+ additional miles on my vehicle, plus losing all that time on the road. There a million better ways out of this deal.

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:10:24 PM EDT

[#5]

Get better friends

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:11:56 PM EDT

[#6]

Tell her to go back before a judge and ask for a restricted (to and from work only) license.

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:11:59 PM EDT

[#7]

I could do it a few times, but it's hard to see getting locked into an arrangement like that. My true friends wouldn't put me thru such inconvenience, and I wouldn't do it to them either.

No chance of getting the license restricted? Carpooling? Any mass transit options halfway thru the commute or anything?

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:14:26 PM EDT

[#8]

What flavor is the pie in question?

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:15:18 PM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
How far would you go for a good friend in need?

All the way!

I wouldnt even have to think about it.

+1.

i wouldn't even let a good friend pay for the gas if i could afford it.

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:15:44 PM EDT

[#10]

At least one BJ each way.

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:15:47 PM EDT

[#11]

What does she look like?

Can you handle that much road time listening to her whine?

Would she be willing to spend part of that road time teaching you Tantra techniques? ( concentrating on keeping between the line is a good start)

Dammit Max - beat me by mere seconds!

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:16:19 PM EDT

[#12]

160 miles a day is completely out of the question. Period. The only person I'd do that for is my wife.

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:18:33 PM EDT

[#13]

Let me expand on my comment a little.

I can count myGood friends on one hand and still have the middle finger left over for the rest of the world.

If I was even asked something like this it would mean that all other possibilities had been shot down and asking me was the only option left.

Thats the basis for my first comment.

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:23:06 PM EDT

[#14]

She's actually quite hot. And available, thanks to recent changes in her (former) marital status.
And we get along GREAT.

Yes, I'm thinking of the "pussybilities".

CJ

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:27:30 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
At least one BJ each way.

You said it I only though it.

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:28:49 PM EDT

[#16]

I could do that about once; maybe twice.

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:30:09 PM EDT

[#17]

damn. The BJ clause. I love the BJ clause.

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:32:13 PM EDT

[#18]

She could rent a cheap motel room during the week and live near her job. Come home on the weekends.

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:37:15 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
She's actually quite hot. And available, thanks to recent changes in her (former) marital status.
And we get along GREAT.

Yes, I'm thinking of the "pussybilities".

CJ

Hmmm. Gotta be better than hookers.

Bob

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:37:37 PM EDT

[#20]

Boy, where to start with this one. . .

First, you have to ask the question why she is driving 80 miles per day EACH WAY. On a normal schedule, thats 800 miles per week, about 3,300 miles per month and 40,000 miles per year JUST TO GET TO AND FROM WORK. She must go through cars every 2-3 years or so.

Second, even if you get $80 per day for transporting her, this will wear your car out quickly as well. You need to factor that in before you start down this road. Remember, you are not just driving 160 miles per day--since you have to dead head back in the morning and then back again in the afternoon, you would be driving 320 miles PER DAY for this (more than many people drive in a week). $80 per day works out to 25 cents per mile. The current IRS mileage rate is 48.5 cents a mile. It was increased in September from 40.5 cents per mile due to rising gas prices. You are really screwing yourself at only $80 per day.

Third, if she were so close to losing her driver's license before, why didn't she slow down for awhile to let her record get cleaned up?

Fourth, has she checked out carpools with other idiots driving the same direction?

Fifth, what happens if you can't take her one day, e.g. you are sick, your car is in the shop (presumably from all the fucking commuting miles), or you have to be out of town?

Sixth, she should look into renting a small apartment within walking distance of her work. Even at $400 per month, this would eliminate having to commute each day and would save her a lot of money.

Seventh, has she checked into working from home and doing business via fax, email, phone calls, etc.?

She must really be important to you. I would not do this for someone other than a VERY CLOSE relative. Good luck.

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:39:08 PM EDT

[#21]

Friends help you move.

Real friends help you move bodies - no questions asked....

Will she help you move a body?

Just like a buddy will bail you out of jail. A real buddy will be right beside you saying "Damn, she didn't look like she was under eighteen..."

Restricted license, carpool or get a weekly motel room closer to work for 3 or 4 days per week, find a closerjob, virtual office if she can work from home... Lots of options. That's a lot to ask of a friend, daily.

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:39:25 PM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
160 miles a day is completely out of the question. Period. The only person I'd do that for is my wife.

Remember he has to take her in the morning, come back home, and then go back and get her in the afternoon. That's 320 MILES PER DAY. Too much to ask, IMO.

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:43:59 PM EDT

[#23]

deleted because the next one down is its replacement.

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:45:16 PM EDT

[#24]

I should add that this will only be for a few weeks. Six or seven, tops. I can handle that.

She has kids, and this keeps the hotel option from being a viable one. She definitely sees
her kids every morning and does the full mommy routine. Actually, she's a model mother,
so good at it that if I were to die tomorrow and were told that I could pick my next mother
and be reincarnated as her next baby, I'd choose her. She's raising her kids RIGHT and
they're the focus of her life. Damn straight, I want to help her out!

But maybe she's just not that good a driver. Maybe she's going to be better, now that
her driving has caused her some great inconvenience?

CJ

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:46:50 PM EDT

[#25]

Ugh. Friends are such a hassle.

Demand payment up front. Get some sex favors while your at it.

Otherwise, ditch her. She made her own trouble, its not like she didn't know how many tix she had. She should be able to get 'to work' and errand driving privlidges too, eventually.

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:52:46 PM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
She's actually quite hot. And available, thanks to recent changes in her (former) marital status.
And we get along GREAT.

Yes, I'm thinking of the "pussybilities".

CJ

Well, why in the hell didn't you say so in the beginning? $80 per day and a nobber so like
a bargin to me.

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:54:29 PM EDT

[#27]

Your friend needs to get a job closer... like walking, biking, cab distance.
Does the place she works for have a closer "office" to where she lives?

I have no friend worth doing that for.

Seems she did the crime and you're setting yourself up to serve the time.

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:54:35 PM EDT

[#28]

I would help drive my friend for probably 2 weeks. After that I might give watch the kids or something like that, but no way I'd continue to drive her like that. Its just not economically viable.

Posted: 12/11/2005 4:57:15 PM EDT

[#29]

A friend is someone that you call to come and bail you out of jail. A REAL friend is someone who is sitting beside you in the cell trying to help you figure out who to call.

Posted: 12/11/2005 5:00:12 PM EDT

[#30]

Truthfully, economics aren't the issue. I'm only going to ask for 80 bucks a day so I don't lose money by doing this, and to cover wear and tear and gas. (We ARE talking a tank a day!) I need to charge something so I'm NOT taken advantage of...not that I expect to, but even good friends can surprise you in that respect.

CJ

Posted: 12/11/2005 5:21:37 PM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:
A friend is someone that you call to come and bail you out of jail. A REAL friend is someone who is sitting beside you in the cell trying to help you figure out who to call.

Truer words have never been spoken.

Posted: 12/12/2005 1:24:40 AM EDT

[#32]

I don't throw the term friend around loosely , but I can be counted on when the chips are down for those that I do .

Posted: 12/12/2005 1:31:30 AM EDT

[#33]

I don't bail my friends out of repeated self-abuse. That's why I have few, but very good friends. They don't put themselves into moronic situations, nor ask me to help them out of their own messes.

Too many tickets?

That's a problem YOU fix, not me.

Posted: 12/12/2005 2:22:42 AM EDT

[#34]

She hasn't asked me. I'm volunteering, now that I heard (from a third party) what happened.

I'll know if this offer gets accepted this week, I think.

CJ

Posted: 12/12/2005 2:39:50 AM EDT

[#35]

Quoted:
She hasn't asked me. I'm volunteering, now that I heard (from a third party) what happened.

I'll know if this offer gets accepted this week, I think.

CJ

Well, since it's potential pussy, that's a whole different ballgame.

A chick that wants to spend alot of time in a car with you? She probably will accept your offer where a friend would be ashamed to. Hell, maybe that's her chick-plan. Get so many tickets some guy will have to escort her around.

Posted: 12/12/2005 2:58:16 AM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:
Quoted:
She hasn't asked me. I'm volunteering, now that I heard (from a third party) what happened.

I'll know if this offer gets accepted this week, I think.

CJ

Well, since it's potential pussy, that's a whole different ballgame.

A chick that wants to spend alot of time in a car with you? She probably will accept your offer where a friend would be ashamed to. Hell, maybe that's her chick-plan. Get so many tickets some guy will have to escort her around.

Yeah, and it's amazing the extents some guys will go to just to have a chance to get some.... As for this particular circumstance, no I don't see myself doing it....

- georgestrings

Posted: 12/12/2005 4:43:28 AM EDT

[#37]

If you're planning on doing it, why not use her car. She's obviously not going to be putting any milage one it for a while and I can't see the put on putting the extra milage/wear and tear on your car to help her out.

Use her car for as long as you are helping her out. She pays for the gas going into her car. She pays for the maintenance on her car. Then all you're giving up is your time.

Posted: 12/12/2005 6:24:10 AM EDT

[#38]

I'd would do anything and everything to help out a real friend in need.

I have maybe 4 people in my life that could ask me to go with them anywhere and I would.

Friendship is priceless, and not that bullshit see them when your out and say hi, I mean solid history of being a good friend.

Posted: 12/12/2005 6:55:10 AM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:
She's actually quite hot. And available, thanks to recent changes in her (former) marital status.
And we get along GREAT.

Yes, I'm thinking of the "pussybilities".

CJ

If you're helping out a good friend, that should be the farthest thing from your mind. You help them because of the friendship not because of what potential "reward" might come out of it. IMHO, you're setting yourself up for big time disappointment with this one.

Posted: 12/12/2005 7:01:20 AM EDT

[#40]

$80 & pie.

Hey, does that make you a prostitute?

Posted: 12/12/2005 7:10:59 AM EDT

[#41]

Quoted:
But maybe she's just not that good a driver. Maybe she's going to be better, now that
her driving has caused ~~her~~ other people some great inconvenience?

CJ

Fixed it for you.

-Troy

Posted: 12/12/2005 7:12:00 AM EDT

[#42]

I would do ANYTHING for my best friend, as he would for me. That's what we are friends for

Posted: 12/12/2005 7:29:25 AM EDT

[#43]

Quoted:
How far would you go for a good friend in need?

All the way!

I wouldnt even have to think about it.

+1 A real friend is a real friend, even if they are wrong and stupid.

Posted: 12/12/2005 7:38:28 AM EDT

[#44]

My boyfriend lost his license for 90 days in our first year together. I drove him to work and picked him up (he worked 30 miles in the opposite direction from my house, and then my job was another 15 miles over that once I got back to my town). He gave me gas money, and it was a pleasant commute spending time together. I know it was frustrating for him to lose his license, and we made the best of a bad situation.

But there aren't many friends I would do that for (and they wouldn't ask) every day. That's alot to ask of a friend.

Posted: 12/12/2005 7:39:26 AM EDT

[#45]

If I considered them a Real friend, there is nothing I wouldnt do for them. This being said I dont have any real friends anymore.

Posted: 12/12/2005 7:40:25 AM EDT

[#46]

Quoted:

Yes, I'm thinking of the "pussybilities".

CJ

Of course, the problem with this is the typical calculus women use to determine male eligibility. Unfortunately, you investing all this time for something completely impractical, and that you clearly would rather not have to do will get you catagorized as a 'sap'.
After 'sap' categorization, in spite of the fact that it was to help her out, a woman will typically decide that you lack the edge and attitude to appeal to her as a predator and her children as a role model.

Your best bet is to declare that it just won't work for you, wait out her period of squirming and anguish, and then pick her up on the other side. You don't want to be a Eunich.

Posted: 12/12/2005 7:44:39 AM EDT

[#47]

How far would you go for a good friend in need?

I would show up with a tarp and a shovel.

Posted: 12/12/2005 7:48:26 AM EDT

[#48]

Quoted:
She could rent a cheap motel room during the week and live near her job. Come home on the weekends.

+1000....if she is making enough money to warrant driving 80 miles to work, she is making enough to keg up at Motel 6 durring the week. She can also file for a hardship license to drive to work and back.

Posted: 12/12/2005 7:52:24 AM EDT

[#49]

IT'S A TRAP!!!!!

Posted: 12/12/2005 7:54:42 AM EDT

[#50]

Quoted:
Quoted:
A friend is someone that you call to come and bail you out of jail. A REAL friend is someone who is sitting beside you in the cell trying to help you figure out who to call.

Truer words have never been spoken.

A friend is someone that you call to come and bail you out of jail. A ~~REAL friend~~ BUDDY is someone who is sitting beside you in the cell ~~trying to help you figure out who to call~~ saying damn that was fun

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - How far would you go for a friend? (Page 1 of 2)

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