I need ideas...one of my friends back in the states is making the graveyard for halloween.

So far we have:

"What are the odds?"
"Hold my beer and watch this."
"You said, 'Duck'?"
"He said the red button?!?"

What else?

"Shooting all those de-milled M14s in Heaven"

Lester Moore

4 shots from a 44
No Less
NoMore

Nothing to see here.  Move along, people.

Here lies Hincmare, crook.
But savage greed aside,
He did one truly noble thing:
He died.


(That's a real epitaph, written about the archbishop of Rheims)

Rather long one:

Free your body and soul
Unfold your powerful wings
Climb up the highest mountains
Kick your feet up in the air
You may now live forever
Or return to this earth
Unless you feel good where you are

If you didn't get the joke, read what the first character of each line spells.  True Story


Another one supposedly belong to composer Bach (translated from German)  Got this from that Linux program that spits out silly quotes:

Here lies a man
With sundry sins upon his head
We buried him here because
As far as we can tell
He's dead.

"If you think the ATF will only shoot your dog, think again!"

"Looter1"

"Looter2"

"Looter3"

connection reset by peer

Quoted: I told you I was sick. ETA:  Here's a bunch of funny ones

Here's one from there;

Come blooming youths,
as you pass by ,
And on these lines
do cast an eye.
As you are now,
so once was I;
As I am now,
so must you be;
Prepare for death
and follow me

From Real Genius: "I drank what?"

Quoted: connection reset by peer

HAHAHHAHA

Quoted: Quoted: connection reset by peer HAHAHHAHA

+1

Don't worry, it's not loaded. See?

The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.

Trashed. CoC violation.

"I finished before you in the human race"
"You're standing on my head"
"SO and so, ever unconvinced there is life before death.."
"Here lies Pete, who loved his meat, a feast for worms, his flesh they eat."
"Anyone want to swap places?"
"I'm dead. Happy now?"
"Study in decomposition"
"Thank you and goodbye"
"Anonymous. We'll never forget you."
"John and Jane Doe - inseparable before the accident, moreso after." (for a single grave )
" John Doe, Atheist. All dressed up and nowhere to go."
"Many thanks for wiping your feet."
"My family paid the stonemason five dollars for the headstone. What did I expect?"
"Here lies John Doe. Now he is gone, he doesn't seem so bad."
"John Doe lies here, missed by none, mourned by less. We are glad you are gone."
"Holy shit! It's darker than I thought."
"No idiot can hold his breath for ten minutes."
"And to prove I could take it with me, the ashes of my money are buried with my corpse. HAH!"
"What are you looking at?"