My friend's granddad spent some time in the service...I know this because he frequently attends gun shows, selling beef jerky and fantasy knives. I stopped over to his booth one day; it was the one located between the knife sharpener and the guy with the Nazi paraphenalia collection.

he was telling me about his time in the army, how he completed basic training and was sent over to korea in 3 weeks because he was tougher than his drill seargant. While there, he got pissed because he didn't think the uniforms were l33t enough, so he made a custom uniform that made him invisible to koreans and communists. He strapped 2 ma deuces to his arms, and single handedly drew the the demarcation line with machine gun bullets. After his tour, he was given every medal you can even get, plus 2 that they made up just for him. He was too good for the army so they made him his own branch of the military, one where you could wear a cape and ride on nuclear missles.

On one solo mission where he was sent to topple the chinese government, he crash landed in Japan and  became a samurai in 2 days. He learned how to use swords, and from that day forward vowed never to touch a gun again. That didn't last long because after returning from his mission he was offered a job as a Space Shuttle Door Gunner. He did that for the rest of his military career, responsible for 32 asteroid kills and 14 soviet space satellite kills. He had them all tattooed on his right bicep, right above his tribal tattoo and his name written in chinese.

He had to retire in 1992, at the age of 112, because he busted his ankle in a pretty serious moped accident.
I didn't believe him, but then he showed me his cape, samurai sword, and SSDG patch!




[ETA- spelling errors and to say, this post is just an excuse to show off my SSDG patch design]

uh.

Wha?

ETA: Ah, I get it.

Oh man, I want one of those patches!

Nice patch design.

I want one!

He must have been one of the early doorgunners.  We were issued miniguns when I rode those birds.  

Ha! All those jerks that said that there was no such thing as a Space Shuttle Door Gunner...IN YOUR FACE!!!!!  

Oh, you're all silent now huh? Yeah...thats what I thought.

Quoted: [ETA- spelling errors and to say, this post is just an excuse to show off my SSDG patch design]

Sell 'em on eBay!

I want one of those patches...or at least a shirt! Funny story btw.

Someone should make a T-shirt with something like that on it.

wow 5:40 pm and this is the BEST post I could find. Nice patch!!!

Are Space Shuttle Door Gunners recruited directly by NASA? or are they "on loan" from the Navy Beret SEAL teams from Delta force?

Wow.

I recieved such a huge response for T shirts and patches. I may be able to make them available if there is enough interest, pm me and let me know if you are seriously interested.

or email, [email protected]

btw, my girlfriend's uncle knows a couple Mall Ninjas...

j, that is a great patch.

BWWAAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAA!!!!


Ahem, good story.. I want a shirt too.

I would soooooo buy that if it was a t-shirt AND a patch.

I see no sword on that patch.  Bad patch, bad.

Quoted: He must have been one of the early doorgunners.  We were issued miniguns when I rode those birds.

Actually, nowadays I hear the have guns that shoot a combination of lazers and ninja stars.

I can't see shit. Link seems broken.

Sweet!I wish my Grandpa had such a stellar record.All he did was fight in the Battle of the Bulge and spend six months in a German POW camp.