do you use an ass gasket?

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - do you use an ass gasket? (Page 1 of 3)

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:05:12 PM EDT

when using a public restroom, the reason im wondering because it seems like alot of people dont. like today i was in a casino restroom taking a dump and a couple of guys came in and just appeared to plop down instantly on the toilet with no use of the gasket. there could have piss all over the seat for all i/they know because plop down was instant after closing the stall door. seems like there are alot of these unhygenic people out there. just curious if any of you are here too.

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:07:46 PM EDT

[#1]

I normally just shit in the sink. It is much more hygenic. Not as popular with other restroom patrons though.

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:08:09 PM EDT

[#2]

I use them.

The local casino has the 'auto ass gaskets'.. Its a roll of plastic that changes after each user, and never gets re-used... kind of weird/interesting

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:09:26 PM EDT

[#3]

I try not to shit in public places. If I do I make sure it is a restricted public place (work, noncrowded, low popularity) that is somewhat clean. If I am taking a trip that is more than an hour I try before I go. The ass gasket rarely needs to be an option with me.

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:10:01 PM EDT

[#4]

Hell no. As long as there's no visible fecal matter or anything else nasty on the seat I just sit down and fire one out no matter where I am.

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:12:21 PM EDT

[#5]

I have perfected the hover.

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:13:36 PM EDT

[#6]

I can count the times I've had to shit in public restrooms on one hand.

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:14:02 PM EDT

[#7]

I don't shit in public restrooms. I'm more at home in the woods than in town anyway, I'll find a tree.

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:24:35 PM EDT

[#8]

I dry dock the stink pickle.

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:27:25 PM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
I try not to shit in public places. If I do I make sure it is a restricted public place (work, noncrowded, low popularity) that is somewhat clean. If I am taking a trip that is more than an hour I try before I go. The ass gasket rarely needs to be an option with me.

amen brother

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:28:51 PM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:
I dry dock the stink pickle.

I don't know what that means, but I think it's funny.

R.

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:29:57 PM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
Quoted:
I try not to shit in public places. If I do I make sure it is a restricted public place (work, noncrowded, low popularity) that is somewhat clean. If I am taking a trip that is more than an hour I try before I go. The ass gasket rarely needs to be an option with me.

amen brother

I have actually walked into rest stop gas stations and stolen toilet paper so that I could drive a mile or two down the road and shit in the woods. Now that's a dirty toilet.

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:33:21 PM EDT

[#12]

Not that I'm particularly keen on taking a dump in public restrooms, I don't get freaked out about toilet seats. I read a newspaper report that shows that KEYBOARDS have many times the number of germs than toilet seats. People have been shitting in public toilets for centuries without their ascheeks becoming infected, ya know?

Now, I do closely check the seat to make sure there's nothing on it. It's ridiculous to walk in a stall and see the whole thing covered in piss. WTF is wrong with some people?

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:36:31 PM EDT

[#13]

I prefer to take a big greasy shit in an open air setting with the scent of pine trees and honeysuckles in the air. Pinecones make a good substitute for TP.

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:36:52 PM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
Not that I'm particularly keen on taking a dump in public restrooms, I don't get freaked out about toilet seats. I read a newspaper report that shows that KEYBOARDS have many times the number of germs than toilet seats. People have been shitting in public toilets for centuries without their ascheeks becoming infected, ya know?

Now, I do closely check the seat to make sure there's nothing on it. It's ridiculous to walk in a stall and see the whole thing covered in piss. WTF is wrong with some people?

So does your toothbrush.

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:40:55 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Not that I'm particularly keen on taking a dump in public restrooms, I don't get freaked out about toilet seats. I read a newspaper report that shows that KEYBOARDS have many times the number of germs than toilet seats. People have been shitting in public toilets for centuries without their ascheeks becoming infected, ya know?

Now, I do closely check the seat to make sure there's nothing on it. It's ridiculous to walk in a stall and see the whole thing covered in piss. WTF is wrong with some people?
So does your toothbrush.

Ah yes - here it is...

www.cnn.com/2004/HEALTH/12/13/cold.flu.desk/

A study by the University of Arizona in 2002 found the typical worker's desk has hundreds of times more bacteria per square inch than an office toilet seat. If that's not disturbing enough, desks, phones and other private surfaces are also prime habitats for the viruses that cause colds and flu.

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:41:12 PM EDT

[#16]

My job used to require quite a bit of traveling, so shooting a squeezer at airports and other public places was pretty damn common.

Travel technique:

Eyeball shit space with extreme scrutiny. Bail to secondary squat space if environment doesn't meet standards.

If it's an airport, stall must have hook to hang notebook case.

Flush toilet to make sure not plugged or geyser. (Unexpected bidets suck.)

Check ass gasket / asswipe inventory.

Wipe down seat before applying ass gasket.

Squat, squeeze, jettison torpedo, wipe, flush, get the hell out before anyone figures out who stunk up the place.

In between terminals/flights I'm quicker than a friggen NASCAR pit crew.

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:43:08 PM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
I dry dock the stink pickle.

hr

Hell, I'll laugh along with ya.

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:44:12 PM EDT

[#18]

Urine is completely sterile. Relx.

Just don't sit on someone's shit smear.

Your face has many times more vacteria than the area around your ass (unless someone sticks a Desert Eagle in you face and you shat yourself.)

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:44:21 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
I can count the times I've had to shit in public restrooms on one hand.

You don't shit at work?!?!?

Balming

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:49:06 PM EDT

[#20]

Come to think of it, I'm quite the hypocrite.

I'm all pansy ass about sittin' on a reasonably clear public toilet seat, yet you'd a thunk I was munchin' for gold in a couple of ex-girlfriends ass cracks.

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:52:08 PM EDT

[#21]

+1 I don't shit in public places

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:52:26 PM EDT

[#22]

Penn and Teller's "BULLSHIT!" covered this pretty well.
1. Urine is sterile in a healthy person.
2. The ass cheeks are dry and is one of the cleanest parts on the body.

I just give the seat a wipe (just in case) and drop trou.
That's it. Don't be such pussies.

Posted: 10/1/2005 3:55:30 PM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
I prefer to take a big greasy shit in an open air setting with the scent of pine trees and honeysuckles in the air. Pinecones make a good substitute for TP.

Only if you pull them in the right direction!!

Posted: 10/1/2005 4:00:22 PM EDT

[#24]

Quoted:
Come to think of it, I'm quite the hypocrite.

I'm all pansy ass about sittin' on a reasonably clear public toilet seat, yet you'd a thunk I was munchin' for gold in a couple of ex-girlfriends ass cracks.

Ewwwwww! (vomiting sounds) Oh man!

You're suppossed to know you've gone too far when you smell shit.

Posted: 10/1/2005 4:02:41 PM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
Hell no. As long as there's no visible fecal matter or anything else nasty on the seat I just sit down and fire one out no matter where I am.

And this is the reason why I use one...

Posted: 10/1/2005 4:28:51 PM EDT

[#26]

Only in CA would I be afraid of the guy in the next stall watching me take a poo and critiquing wheather or not I decided to use the toilet paper ring.

Just what are you doing watching other men Poo?

Posted: 10/1/2005 4:45:08 PM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:
My job used to require quite a bit of traveling, so shooting a squeezer at airports and other public places was pretty damn common.

Travel technique:

Eyeball shit space with extreme scrutiny. Bail to secondary squat space if environment doesn't meet standards.

If it's an airport, stall must have hook to hang notebook case.

Flush toilet to make sure not plugged or geyser. (Unexpected bidets suck.)

Check ass gasket / asswipe inventory.

Wipe down seat before applying ass gasket.

Squat, squeeze, jettison torpedo, wipe, flush, get the hell out before anyone figures out who stunk up the place.

In between terminals/flights I'm quicker than a friggen NASCAR pit crew.

You forgot the three nano-seconds at the sink washing the shit from your fingers from wiping your ass too fast!

Posted: 10/1/2005 4:50:50 PM EDT

[#28]

Posted: 10/1/2005 5:01:25 PM EDT

[#29]

Sheesh...what do you guyz do when you're in the bush?

Posted: 10/1/2005 5:03:08 PM EDT

[#30]

You all are missing the most important step in public toilet pooping:
Make a raft of TP to cradle your log,and prevent the dreaded splashback of a stranger's assjuice.
You're welcome,Dave

Posted: 10/1/2005 5:03:51 PM EDT

[#31]

If the restroom has them, i'll use it. If not, I wipe the lid down first with TP.

I dont want to catch any ass-herpes

Posted: 10/1/2005 5:07:41 PM EDT

[#32]

Top tanker myself

Posted: 10/1/2005 5:14:37 PM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:
Ewwwwww! (vomiting sounds) Oh man!

You're suppossed to know you've gone too far when you smell shit.

I ain't proud to say this, but it weren't no slip of the tongue.

Nope, I was trying to see if I could guess what she had fer dinner.

Posted: 10/1/2005 5:25:45 PM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:
I ain't proud to say this, but it weren't no slip of the tongue.

Nope, I was trying to see if I could guess what she had fer dinner.

Posted: 10/1/2005 5:31:12 PM EDT

[#35]

Quoted:
You all are missing the most important step in public toilet pooping:
Make a raft of TP to cradle your log,and prevent the dreaded splashback of a stranger's assjuice.
You're welcome,Dave

Heh, I do that at HOME

Splash drives me fuckin insane ! ALWAYS happens, cause the damn toilet here's one of them stupid small kind.

Full size bathroom too. Friggen idiot landlord.

Posted: 10/1/2005 5:43:40 PM EDT

[#36]

I use me, theres no telling what might be on those lids.

Posted: 10/1/2005 6:04:38 PM EDT

[#37]

Very enlightening thread guys, thanx.

Posted: 10/1/2005 6:07:59 PM EDT

[#38]

nope. Just about evyone else at work does, so its like i get an unused toliet seat.

I can't stand them, they stick to my ass cheeks and I have to peel it off.

Posted: 10/1/2005 6:11:38 PM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:
Top tanker myself

Upper decking is cool.

I generally shit in the urinal.

Posted: 10/1/2005 6:12:40 PM EDT

[#40]

I do my business when I need to do my business. Whenever I need to do my business, I use an "ass gasket" whatever that is.

Deej

Posted: 10/1/2005 6:17:46 PM EDT

[#41]

I have laughed out loud more from this thread than in a LONG time.....you guys are killing me!

"ass juice"??

"stink pickle"?

Posted: 10/1/2005 6:20:03 PM EDT

[#42]

^^I tried very hard to stay out of this thread!

I use the gasket though and make my own when one isn't available. Patty

Posted: 10/1/2005 6:20:05 PM EDT

[#43]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Top tanker myself

Upper decking is cool.

I generally shit in the urinal.

Reminds me of Randy Quaid in Kingpin sitting in the urinal takin a dump while reading the paper

Posted: 10/1/2005 6:22:06 PM EDT

[#44]

Quoted:
I have perfected the hover.

Posted: 10/1/2005 6:23:47 PM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
^^I tried very hard to stay out of this thread! I use the gasket though and make my own when one isn't available. Patty

Patty, I bought my wife these neat little deals at Target that look like a small deoderant stick that you carry with you and you take the lid off and wipe them across the toilet seat and it has some kind of anti bacterial agent in it. One time use of course. We buy each other unique items for stocking stuffers at Xmas. Neat idea.

Posted: 10/1/2005 6:34:18 PM EDT

[#46]

I'm glad I didn't grow up in a time that even taking a shit scared me.

What's next , a fear of guns ?

GM

Posted: 10/1/2005 6:34:51 PM EDT

[#47]

The only bad thing about public restrooms is 90% of the people leave without even glancing at the sink and soap. The toilet is cleaner than the door handle so after drying my hands I use the paper towel to open the door if it opens inward.