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Posted: 9/30/2005 9:03:34 PM EDT
[#1]
  
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Posted: 9/30/2005 9:05:17 PM EDT
[#2]
Next time, record the event on video.
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Posted: 9/30/2005 9:07:58 PM EDT
[#3]
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Posted: 9/30/2005 9:10:14 PM EDT
[#4]
I damn near shit my pants I laughed so hard. That's sick man. Help I can't breathe OMG that's so fucking funny.
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Posted: 9/30/2005 9:13:17 PM EDT
[#5]
You know your a redneck when .........
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Posted: 9/30/2005 9:14:00 PM EDT
[#6]
tHAT CRACKED ME UP.
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Posted: 9/30/2005 9:16:15 PM EDT
[#7]
OMFG I can't stp laughing!
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Posted: 9/30/2005 9:17:23 PM EDT
[#8]
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Posted: 9/30/2005 9:27:46 PM EDT
[#9]
I hope he doesn't try.
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Posted: 9/30/2005 9:30:10 PM EDT
[#10]
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Posted: 9/30/2005 9:33:50 PM EDT
[#11]
Quoted:
Might be a right of passage but I was never really shown as a child… Tonight the family and I are enjoying a good family movie and I’m feeling a little gassy from going out to dinner. We don’t get out often but enjoy it when we do. Split a humus plate and pepperoni Swiss burger with the wife tonight so I’m starting to peel paint off the wall. I was told to light a match or candle if I were to continue to participate in the movie watching. I lit a candle and proceeded to watch the movie. Along comes the urge and I’m thinking: Hey, Jeffrey hasn’t seen a fart lit! He’s 9-years-old and sharp as a tack so I figure, why not. Back my ass up to this cute little votive candleholder and let-er-rip. Sweet mother of God! It has been years since I have pulled this off. I saw that I completely and instantaneously blew out the candle and THEN was told a slow, lingering, blue flame rose from my ass and proceeded up my pajamas. A blue flame about 6” in diameter engulfed my flannel pj crack area. I was obviously concerned and quickly patted any residual flame that might have continued. My nine-year-old was in complete and total awe. THAT WAS TOTALLY AWSOME DAD! WOW. (Several minuets of giggling and wow ensued) Wife was concerned my insides were ablaze as I was too. A quick trip to the bathroom and a mirror check confirmed a few singed hairs. All in all a good fire science lesson. Hope this is of some humor or help for others…  |
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Posted: 9/30/2005 9:37:22 PM EDT
[#12]
This thread is useless without...
Oh, never mind. I don't want pictures. |
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Posted: 9/30/2005 9:39:45 PM EDT
[#13]
 Man, that was hilarious. What are you going to do if the other kids hear about it and ask for a live demo? 
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Posted: 9/30/2005 9:42:15 PM EDT
[#14]
Hold my beer.......
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Posted: 9/30/2005 10:03:26 PM EDT
[#15]
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Posted: 9/30/2005 10:09:10 PM EDT
[#16]
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Posted: 9/30/2005 10:11:01 PM EDT
[#17]
And Tomorrow
"Hey Dad, show my friend Tommy how you can..." Later at Thanksgiving "Then out of Dad's butt came this huge>>>" |
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Posted: 9/30/2005 10:11:18 PM EDT
[#18]
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Posted: 9/30/2005 10:13:29 PM EDT
[#19]
You're a good father
 As a child: Dad: Look what I have, fireworks! Me: But mom said we can't play with them. Dad: Mom isn't here... Me: ALRIGHT! |
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Posted: 9/30/2005 10:13:51 PM EDT
[#20]
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Posted: 9/30/2005 10:15:18 PM EDT
[#21]
that si funny,
In town here a Kid was showing off (and drunk of course) and yanked his pants down to "blow fire" forhis friends. Lost all the hair on his ass, as well as his balls. Got startled fell down and slammed his ass down on the candle. Emts took him to the hospital, burns on his penis, scrotum, and buttocks (wax splashing I assume, maybe also from the gas burning?) and he had the candle stick in his ass........... how the hell do you live that down? (happened at a lutheran college, friends of mine lived just down the hallway in res from this brain surgeon) |
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Posted: 9/30/2005 10:15:40 PM EDT
[#22]
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Posted: 9/30/2005 10:29:22 PM EDT
[#23]
Funny shit.
 I've had so much gas lately I could probably power a car for a week with the amount of gas I produced. Didn't think of lighting it up though. |
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Posted: 9/30/2005 10:33:42 PM EDT
[#24]
You Canuks cant do anything right. |
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Posted: 9/30/2005 10:49:22 PM EDT
[#25]
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Posted: 9/30/2005 10:49:23 PM EDT
[#26]
Wasn't any friend of mine, even if it had been, after super stupidity like that he wouldn't have been, do shit liek that with your own ass, what woudl you do if you found a rifle round in my house? (or knife, rifle, acid, etc.?) |
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Posted: 9/30/2005 10:57:22 PM EDT
[#27]
Another, “Here, hold my beer…” moment of fame.
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Posted: 9/30/2005 11:00:28 PM EDT
[#28]
I nominate this for ARFCOM thread of the year........
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Posted: 9/30/2005 11:02:22 PM EDT
[#29]
lol .. what? |
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Posted: 9/30/2005 11:11:55 PM EDT
[#30]
Did you ask your son to hold your beer for you while you did that?
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Posted: 9/30/2005 11:19:04 PM EDT
[#31]
damn i am tired, meant to say what would he have done hadhe found such things in my house (had he been hypothetically in my house) at the time I had 3 gallons of Nitric acid, 4 gallons of sulphuric acid, 2 gallons of phosphoric acid, as well as thousands of rounds of ammunition. And several rifles. Stupid enough to shove a candle up your ass, (even accidentally) stupid enough to blow yourself or someone else up |
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Posted: 10/1/2005 1:13:34 AM EDT
[#32]
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Posted: 10/1/2005 6:42:33 AM EDT
[#33]
And now I see the light!
Had a quick talk with my son this moring about the importance of not releasing the results of our experiment with everyone. 
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Posted: 10/1/2005 7:03:03 AM EDT
[#34]
OrARGB
is your screen name synonymous with the sound your ass made when it exploded???? 
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Posted: 10/1/2005 7:07:38 AM EDT
[#35]
The best part of the whole post!! LMFAO!! |
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Posted: 10/1/2005 12:15:58 PM EDT
[#36]
Yeah, but he blowed up real good. Larry |
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Posted: 10/1/2005 12:22:24 PM EDT
[#37]
you should really try this.
it's right up your.... ummmm.... alley  see here make sure you read the faq's |
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Posted: 10/1/2005 12:26:04 PM EDT
[#38]
I thought this would be about banging a ugly chick so your friend could get some
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Posted: 10/1/2005 12:51:32 PM EDT
[#39]
*wiping tears from eyes*
HAHAHAHAHAOMG that's friggen funny ! Nice !
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Posted: 10/1/2005 1:05:14 PM EDT
[#40]
You owe me a new keyboard!
Dinner with the family: $40 Rental Movie: $5 Candle: $0.50 Showing your kid how you can blow BLUE FLAMES out of your butt: FUCKING PRICELESS!!  |
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