Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as
her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next
hole.   The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands
together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll
around in agony.   The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately
began to apologize.   Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist
and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told
him. Oh, no, I'll be all right.I'll be fine in a few minutes,the man
replied.He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position,still
clasping his hands together at his groin.   At her
persistence,however,he finally allowed her to help.   She gently took
his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put
her hands inside, She administered tender and artful massage for
several long moments then asked, How does that feel. He replied, it
feels great, but my thumb still hurts like heck!    

Here's another good one;

A man gets to his plane seat and is surprised to find a parrot
 strapped into the seat next to him. Once in the air, the stewardess comes
  around and the man asks her for a coffee, whereupon the parrot squawks,
  Bring me a whiskey, bitch."

      The stewardess, somewhat flustered, brings a whiskey to the
 parrot,but forgets the coffee. When the man points this out to her, the parrot
 immediately drains its glass and yells, "Get me another whiskey, bitch."
 Quite upset, the stewardess returns shortly with a whiskey for the
  parrot, but still no coffee. Unaccustomed to such slackness, the man
  decides to try the parrot's approach. "I've asked you twice for a coffee,
  bitch, now go and get it for me."

      In a couple of seconds, two burly stewards arrive, grab both the
 man and the parrot, take them to the emergency exit and toss them both out of
 the airplane.

     As they're falling toward the ground, the parrot turns to the man
 and says, "You know, for someone who can't fly,  you're kind of a mouthy bastard."

Quoted: Here's another good one; A man gets to his plane seat and is surprised to find a parrot  strapped into the seat next to him. Once in the air, the stewardess comes   around and the man asks her for a coffee, whereupon the parrot squawks,   Bring me a whiskey, bitch."       The stewardess, somewhat flustered, brings a whiskey to the  parrot,but forgets the coffee. When the man points this out to her, the parrot  immediately drains its glass and yells, "Get me another whiskey, bitch."  Quite upset, the stewardess returns shortly with a whiskey for the   parrot, but still no coffee. Unaccustomed to such slackness, the man   decides to try the parrot's approach. "I've asked you twice for a coffee,   bitch, now go and get it for me."       In a couple of seconds, two burly stewards arrive, grab both the  man and the parrot, take them to the emergency exit and toss them both out of  the airplane.      As they're falling toward the ground, the parrot turns to the man  and says, "You know, for someone who can't fly,  you're kind of a mouthy bastard."

LOL!!! I like that one.