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Posted: 9/26/2005 8:55:40 AM EDT
Great. Just f&^%$#@ great. My wife just caught our 13 year old hanging out her bedroom window smoking.
 Yes, I'm a smoker. However, I have been trying like hell to quit over the last 3 weeks after having the living crap (whatever that is) scared out of me a couple of weeks ago when a chest x-ray came back with 'spots'. It eventually turned out to be scar tissue, but it took a week to find that out. In the meantime, I was pretty sure I was a goner and was trying to deal with such........ None of the kids know about my little brush with reality. Yet, that is. I know she gets it honest. I have tried to stress never imitadating me. I have tried to tell them how much I HATE smoking and how much I hate myself for picking the damed things up. My first instinct was to leave work, go home, pick up a pack of Camels on the way, bundle all 20 together with a rubber band, and make her smoke the whole pack at once. And then beat her ass. 3 minutes passed and I somehow calmed down. Anger was replaced with feeling like a jackass. Time for some reality and a much needed heart to heart. WTF to do now......... 
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Posted: 9/26/2005 8:56:56 AM EDT
[#1]
Tell her about the spots and the week of fear.
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Posted: 9/26/2005 8:58:22 AM EDT
[#2]
I use to sneak smokes but I didn't inhale till I got older.
ETA: show her this: http://www.ogrish.com/archives/autopsy_reveals_lungs_of_smoker_Sep_02_2005.html |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 8:58:25 AM EDT
[#3]
Tell her about the spots, but DON'T tell her you know it isn't cancer.
Let her live in fear for a week. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 8:59:08 AM EDT
[#4]
QUIT smoking....show your kids you are serious about it.
I quit, so I know how hard it can be. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 9:00:14 AM EDT
[#5]
Agreed. Time to pony up and be a man. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 9:02:38 AM EDT
[#6]
Take her down to the VA hospital.
let a couple of guys with 1/2 their throats gone buzz at her with those little electric voice box things. It damn sure woke my ass up! |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 9:06:26 AM EDT
[#7]
Making her smoke a whole pack won't make her quit. As of now you two should quit as a team. Go see your doctor and have him show her your health problems, and all the nasty dangers of smoking stuff. Then have the doctor help you two come up with quit smoking plans and stick with it..
I know how hard it is. Use this as an oppourtunity if you can because every bit helps. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 9:11:35 AM EDT
[#8]
My Dad gave my sisters a cigar for them to 'learn' on. They did smoke a little later on in life but they didn't do it long.
ByteTheBullet (-: |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 9:13:58 AM EDT
[#9]
... and show her the X-ray. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 9:20:22 AM EDT
[#10]
Good for you...being weak on this subject could, most likely will, ultimately cost your daughter her life from those damned things... |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 9:20:43 AM EDT
[#11]
I did a three month rotation thru the Bronx VA, and one of the craziest things I have ever seen in my life was a whole bunch of guys smoking thru their trach holes. Just couldn't give it up after having their tongue's, and larynx's removed. Tobacco is bad juju, in any form. Quit. At any cost. Let her see the most graphic pics you can google, and tc is right, take her to a VA. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 9:22:48 AM EDT
[#12]
As harsh as it sounds, it just might put the fear of God into her and make her realize what she's doing isn't 'cool'. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 9:30:45 AM EDT
[#13]
Try this little book... It is working for me...
www.allencarrseasyway.com/ www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1402718616/qid=1127755593/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-0986611-4825521?v=glance&s=books&n=507846 |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 9:33:56 AM EDT
[#14]
Make a pact. You quit smoking now, if she agrees to never start.
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Posted: 9/26/2005 9:39:18 AM EDT
[#15]
I don't have any children, but I've often wanted to strangle other people's children--purely as a public service, mind you.
As to your daughter--there's nothing you can do. If she's going to smoke, she's going to smoke--just like you did when you were her age. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 9:41:39 AM EDT
[#16]
+1 |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 9:45:09 AM EDT
[#17]
Do as I say but not as I do.....
 So long as you're smoking you're a hippocrit by telling her not to, but you already know that. Quit smoking you dumbass. All the scare tactics in the world won't stop a teenager from being a teenager. Try leading by example and telling her the truth about your long week. It's the only way she'll ever sign onto your campaign. You only have 1 option here. -H ETA: I smoked a pack a day for 4 years. I quit in January 05'. So drop the smokes and wrestle with the addiction once and for all. It's scientifically proven that you won't keel over and die like a bitch from a bad case of nicotine withdrawal. If you're going to QUIT anything....QUIT your bellyachin' and excuses. Take that cigarette, snuff it, flick it, and forget about that crutch. If you don't, one day those 'spots' on your lungs will be real. If not you, then maybe your daughter's  Christ if that doesn't motivate you to stop smoking those goddam cigarettes then nothing will. Ban cigarettes, it's for the children. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 9:55:25 AM EDT
[#18]
I hated smoking and smokers when I was her age. I refused to even date a smoker in HS. I didn't start until I was in the military. I thought it was a part of being 'billy badass'. Boy, was I wrong. But, I was young and stupid and was wrong about A LOT of things when I was at that age. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 9:58:04 AM EDT
[#19]
It will be immpossible to keep her from smoking if she wants to. She will hide her cigs places other than the house. She will smoke when she leaves the house and you will not be able to tell anyway since you have the cig "stink" already. A non-smoker can point out a smoker in a instant. It stinks. PLUS, you have already shown her that she can smoke at least until she is as old as you and still get away with nothing but some "scar tissue" in her lungs...  I grew up in a house where both parents smoked... I used to get sent to the office and then my locker searched because I "smelled" like I had been smoking... I tried to explain that my mother always puffed on her cigs as she folded the laundry. It didnt help. Oh yeah, I smoked for many years... I quit. Can you ? LB |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 9:58:55 AM EDT
[#20]
Yup. My Dad gave me the "no smoking" talk with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. 
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Posted: 9/26/2005 10:07:37 AM EDT
[#21]
I sure as hell hope so. It won't be easy, but nothing worthwhile is. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 10:17:59 AM EDT
[#22]
You won't quit shit with that losing attitude, so maybe you should say 'the hell with it' and keep puffin'. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 10:36:30 AM EDT
[#23]
What exactly is your problem? CoC prevents me from commenting further. Take it somewhere else. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 10:44:54 AM EDT
[#24]
Blessing in disguise. Knowing your 13-year-old might be picking up smoking might provide the additional inspiration you need to stop smoking sooner than later, though that week of agony should have been enough of a wake-up call.
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Posted: 9/26/2005 10:49:21 AM EDT
[#25]
Take it where? To the smoking section? I'm not the one with the problem here Smokey, but good luck to you AND your daughter in any case. If you want to comment further send me an IM, I'll gladly hit you with the reality stick there too.  Let's all pray your daughter doesn't learn will power by your example. You should have had your last cigaratte after you read the first response in this thread. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 10:52:47 AM EDT
[#26]
Hokie has no problem. He's a straight shooter. And better yet, he's right. Get your head on straight and kick your habit. And, FYI, if you don't want to hear how bad you're f%^&in' up, or how weak you are, don't post crap like this on the web. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 10:57:13 AM EDT
[#27]
Just hope you continue to lead a saintly life and never have any problems like us 'lesser people'. How's the weather from up there on your pearch? |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 10:57:23 AM EDT
[#28]
Good luck. The good thing is that you now know and you can do something about it. Showing her the scans of spooted hearts, ogrish autopsy pictures, or actual people with emphezema are all scare tactics that will likely not have an impact in and of themselves. You will have to be extreme. Tell her that you've been a bad example and that you fear she has started a bad habit that may kill her. Tell her you have quit because she is that important to you and so is your health. The "don't do as I do, do as I say" thing really doesn't work so well (as you already know) I used the patch (3 stages) and it really helped with the urges (but didn't eliminate them). I wish you and yours well. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 10:59:51 AM EDT
[#29]
He was simply saying to stop with the "I hope I can" and start with the "I know I can." 
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Posted: 9/26/2005 11:00:19 AM EDT
[#30]
I f*&^%$# up by admitting a bad habit and trying to change it? Nice Einstein. What part of "Time for some reality and a much needed heart to heart" and "Agreed. Time to pony up and be a man." do you two nitwits NOT understand? Man, there have been people come here with a lot more personal and embarassing problems that mine. I am glad they shared, not only because people here helped them, but because we ALL got a little something out of it. Didn't your mama's ever tell you if you don't have something good to say, STFU? 
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Posted: 9/26/2005 11:01:03 AM EDT
[#31]
Anyone remember that commercial from the 70's that showed the litle boy walking behing his dad in the park??
The little boy picks up a cigarette off the ground and starts to imitate his dad..... www.lungusa.org/site/pp.asp?c=dvLUK9O0E&b=22937 This site has a 21 day plan to stop smoking. (and info on teens and smoking) It worked for me. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 11:02:43 AM EDT
[#32]
No, that's not what he said, that's what you said. He said: "You won't quit shit with that losing attitude, so maybe you should say 'the hell with it' and keep puffin'." and "Let's all pray your daughter doesn't learn will power by your example". Had he said what you said, maybe it would have been a little better received. Instead, he is now engaged in the equivalent of pissing into the breeze. He may be getting a warm fuzzy feeling from what he is doing, but I think he is just being an idiot. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 11:10:00 AM EDT
[#33]
You CAN quit, whether it's "cold turkey", going to lighter & lighter versions gradually, the patch, or whatever method works for you. It may be difficult, but you can handle it.
Nicotine doesn't really calm you, it only sets you up for thinking it does, when in reality what's happening is that it instills the habituation/withdrawal cycle. So when you DON"T have one, you feel like sh*t. In addition to your own discipline & will power, the fact that you don't want to be a bad example for your daughter (or mess her up further with the extra smoke & non-leadership; you'll always be an /example or an excuse for her) might give you a littelextra motivation. However, you can't MAKE her quit, herself. You can just give her yourself as an example of being able to overcome it. Good Luck. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 11:15:29 AM EDT
[#34]
You came here looking for advice, we tried to give it to you. So now I'm a nitwit....cute. Momma also told me not to be a thin skinned crybaby. Best of luck to ya though. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 11:18:50 AM EDT
[#35]
Did you ever see the words 'can't' or 'won't' in any of my responses? Thin skinned crybaby? That's rich. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 11:25:31 AM EDT
[#36]
I kicked dip Friday night and currently feel like I have bees crawling all over my back. Today is the last day, the nicotine cravings will be gone by tomorrow. No patch, no crutch, no nothing. Grit your teeth and do it. Remember the next time you light up you have the option right then and there to pitch your pack and be done with them. There's nothing stopping you. You could, if you wanted to, just go and throw them all in the garbage right now. Do it. Do it right now. Come back and post when you've thrown them all away and quit right now. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 11:27:29 AM EDT
[#37]
Make her go to the doctor with you.
I saw some windshield (on the rear window) of an SUV the other day. Hot chick driving and the graphics said something like CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED BEHAVIOR and another one that said something like DO YOU SMOKE? YOUR CHILDREN PROBABLY WILL TOO. and another which said something like STOP SMOKING, ITS BAD FOR YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE. The whole back of the nice SUV was like this. I guess she felt strongly about smoking
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Posted: 9/26/2005 11:27:48 AM EDT
[#38]
Well, she picked it up from you I suppose. No one to blame here but yourself. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 11:30:09 AM EDT
[#39]
I have to agree with Beekeep on this: Dad was diagnosed in '84 with throat cancer. In '94 he was dead. I saw all the stages in between...chemo/radiation/surgery. None of it pretty. I continue to smoke.
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Posted: 9/26/2005 11:30:10 AM EDT
[#40]
Yup Mine too! Smoked for 8 years before I finally gave it up. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 11:33:27 AM EDT
[#41]
Do you have proof of that? If so, I would like to see it. Otherwise, I would have to say you are DEAD WRONG. Why? Well, maybe because my parents didn't, but I do, which I admitted to in the original post. I know plenty of people whose parent's smoked that don't, and plenty whose parents didn't smoke that do. Your logic is weak. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 11:34:15 AM EDT
[#42]
In all honesty, good for you. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 11:43:40 AM EDT
[#43]
thompsondd,
There is a ton of research that supports the theory that children of parents that smoke are MUCH more predetermined to smoke themselves. No bashng here man - the only thing you must do, as a man and a father is to quit. Not "try to quit." I mean QUIT. Won't be easy, but both you and your daughter are worth it. CMOS |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 11:46:53 AM EDT
[#44]
Have her non-smoking friends talk some sense into her. She will likely listen to them before she listens to a parent. Good luck.
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Posted: 9/26/2005 11:47:54 AM EDT
[#45]
Again, AGREED. Already working on it. ETA: I can agree with 'much more predetermined' better than I can 'if you do, so will she'. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 12:00:30 PM EDT
[#46]
Nonsense. While there may have been some rationalizing going on in terms of "Well, Dad does", at that age, peer pressure and the many images in movies etc. are a lot stronger of an influence than what they see parents doing. If fact for a lot of teens, REJECTING (rather than mimicking) what their parents do, is part of their individuation. My money is on friends that also smoke. Helping her find a wider or different bunch might help, but it works better if it occurs to her that it's HER idea, rather than the parents. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 12:05:00 PM EDT
[#47]
my gramps caught my dad smoking one time and locked him in the woodshed with I think a whole carton of smokes and wouldn't let him come out till they were all smoked.
That was 50+ years ago and even today when my dad smells cigarette smoke you can literally see him go a little green around the gills.  That's what I'd do if I were you. Oh and yes, you are a hypocrite. But you can fix that. Remember that the next "spot" you see in an X-Ray WILL be lung cancer. Good luck with stopping man, I think that'd be a tough job. |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 12:05:16 PM EDT
[#48]
That is what Yoda meant when he said "Do, or do not. There is no try." If you say "I'll try" you've already set yourself up for failure by giving yourself the excuse of "Hey, I tried."  *Or I'm full of shit
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Posted: 9/26/2005 12:06:25 PM EDT
[#49]
Sounds like a double motivation to me... |
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Posted: 9/26/2005 12:15:56 PM EDT
[#50]
Stop trying and commit to success. Do it right now, or light up again and be ashamed of yourself. I'm kicking RIGHT NOW and have itches all over, I could go pick up a tin of Kodiak right now and have that sweet juice slobbering off my beard in ten minutes and that delicious sickness spread through my body like the light of Christ coming right into my body through my heart. Nonsmokers will never understand... wish I was always among them. I'm right in the middle of it, bro. I want it so bad, but I will not be denied my victory today. Hike up your  's and do it.
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