Did Tom die? - AR15.COM

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Posted: 9/22/2005 7:32:05 AM EDT

Tom did like he always does, he kissed his wife, crawled into bed and feel asleep.

All of a sudden, he woke up with an elderly man dressed in a white robe standing in front of his bed.

"What the hell are you doing in my bedroom and who are you?" he asked.

"This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter and you are in heaven."

"WHAT! Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young," said

Tom. "I want you to send me back immediately."

"It's not that easy," said St. Peter. "You can only return as a dog or a
hen. The choice is yours."

Tom thought about it for a while, and figured that being a dog is too tiring; but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around
with a rooster can't be that bad.

"I want to return as a hen," Tom replied.

And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But, now he felt like his ass was gonna blow.

Then along came the rooster. "Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about, how do you
like being a hen?"

"Well, OK, I guess, but it feels like my ass is about to explode."

"Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. You need
to lay an egg."

"How do I do that?"

"Cluck twice, and then you push all you can."

Tom clucked twice and pushed and pushed; then 'plop,' an egg was on the ground.

"Wow" Tom said. "That felt really good!" So he clucked again and squeezed.
And plop, out came another egg on the ground.

The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: "Tom, for Christ's sake! Wake up! You're shitting all over the
bed!"

Posted: 9/22/2005 7:42:31 AM EDT

[#1]

Posted: 9/22/2005 7:46:00 AM EDT

[#2]

Posted: 9/22/2005 7:46:33 AM EDT

[#3]

Even MY WIFE is laughing at that one... I LOVE IT!!!

Posted: 9/22/2005 7:49:42 AM EDT

[#4]

Patty

Posted: 9/22/2005 7:50:52 AM EDT

[#5]

Posted: 9/22/2005 7:51:52 AM EDT

[#6]

Posted: 9/22/2005 7:54:32 AM EDT

[#7]

Posted: 9/22/2005 8:29:50 AM EDT

[#8]

Now that's some funny shit!!!!!

]

Posted: 9/22/2005 8:37:26 AM EDT

[#9]

Nice. I have to spread this little gem around in some email.

Posted: 9/22/2005 9:26:05 AM EDT

[#10]

Posted: 9/22/2005 9:35:19 AM EDT

[#11]

Posted: 9/22/2005 9:35:23 AM EDT

[#12]

HAHAHAHAHA !!!

Thank's man..... I REALLY needed a good laugh.

Posted: 9/22/2005 9:37:30 AM EDT

[#13]

lol that was a good one

Posted: 9/22/2005 9:49:11 AM EDT

[#14]

his wife will haunt him for the rest of his life

Posted: 9/22/2005 9:50:24 AM EDT

[#15]

That one is CLASSIC!!! I just stopped screaming/laughing. DAMN that's funny!

Thanks!

Posted: 9/22/2005 9:50:58 AM EDT

[#16]

Posted: 9/22/2005 9:52:53 AM EDT

[#17]

Posted: 9/22/2005 9:59:07 AM EDT

[#18]

Posted: 9/22/2005 9:59:43 AM EDT

[#19]

Good one!

Posted: 9/22/2005 11:52:31 AM EDT

[#20]

thats great

Posted: 9/22/2005 11:55:39 AM EDT

[#21]

So...was Tom Dead

.

Bomber

Posted: 9/22/2005 11:57:29 AM EDT

[#22]

Good one thanks!

Edited to add: My wife just read this and said in no uncertain terms that Tom (me) would surely die if he (me) ever clucked and shit the bed!

Posted: 9/22/2005 12:01:59 PM EDT

[#23]

Good one!

Posted: 9/22/2005 12:05:21 PM EDT

[#24]

Why the hell would he want to be a hen?

Posted: 9/22/2005 12:16:01 PM EDT

[#25]

Posted: 9/22/2005 12:19:10 PM EDT

[#26]

Posted: 9/22/2005 12:22:17 PM EDT

[#27]

Posted: 9/22/2005 12:27:51 PM EDT

[#28]

Thanks, just had Pepsi running out of my nose

Posted: 9/22/2005 1:09:41 PM EDT

[#29]

That punchline just came right out of nowhere!

Excellent joke!

Posted: 9/22/2005 1:11:19 PM EDT

[#30]

That's one of the best ones ever!

CJ

Posted: 9/22/2005 1:25:16 PM EDT

[#31]

If Tom had chosen to be a dog, I wonder if he would've been humping his wife's leg in his sleep.

Or licking his balls!

Posted: 9/22/2005 1:27:13 PM EDT

[#32]

Posted: 9/22/2005 1:46:33 PM EDT

[#33]

Posted: 9/22/2005 2:21:05 PM EDT

[#34]

Posted: 9/22/2005 4:58:55 PM EDT

[#35]

That was a good one!

Posted: 9/25/2005 9:18:18 AM EDT

[#36]

Bump for the Sunday funnies.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Did Tom die?

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