This is really funny. Even if you have seen it before, I'm sure it will still make you laugh when you read it again.
*JACKASS*
For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone:
Don’t take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you *don't* know!
Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make.
I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?" I politely said,
"This is Patrick Hannifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude.
I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her.
She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly.
After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk.
I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered,
I yelled, "You're a jackass!" and hung up.
Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass",
and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up.
He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!"
It would always cheer me up.
Later in the year the Phone Company introduced caller ID.
This was a real disappointment for me; I would have to stop calling
the jackass.
Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his
voice say, "Hello." I made up a name.
"Hi. This is the sales office of the Telephone Company and I'm just
calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?"
He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back
and said, "That's because you're a jackass!"
The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial 823-4863.
The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the
parking space.
I didn't think she was ever going to leave.
Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out
of the slot.
I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out.
Great, I thought, she's finally leaving. All of a sudden this black Camaro come flying up the parking isle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space. I started honking my horn and yelling; "You can't just do that, Buddy. I was here first!"
The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me. I thought to myself, this guy’s a jackass, there sure a lot of jackasses in this world. I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down
the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.
A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're a jackass!" (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.)
I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too.
After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, "Hello."
I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car’s parked right out front."
I said, "What's your name?"
"My name is Don Hansen