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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:31:09 PM EDT
[#1]
Just make sure to use a blank. |
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:33:19 PM EDT
[#2]
Coffee. Lots of coffee.
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:33:40 PM EDT
[#3]
apple juice,
popeye's(that shit burns) |
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:35:07 PM EDT
[#4]
Expired quail eggs.
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:35:45 PM EDT
[#5]
Oh.. prune juice.
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:35:56 PM EDT
[#6]
If you want quick action, a suppository is the way to go. I gave the suggestion; I'm not offering to help from here on out.
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:35:56 PM EDT
[#7]
Prune juice. Always work for me.
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:36:55 PM EDT
[#8]
I already ate some apple sauce, now I'm wolfing down a baked potato. This shit started Friday night, and the popcorn I ate today while watching War of The Worlds sure as hell didn't help. |
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:37:06 PM EDT
[#9]
I remember having immediate blowout any time I tried "Roll Rich" brand roll-your-own cigarettes. Might want to give them a try.
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:37:47 PM EDT
[#10]
Suppositories are fastest.
1/2 to 1 quart of Prune juice will clean you out, but stick close to the bathroom for a few hours. Or in classic ARFCOM style.... "Get Both". Those with plugged up kids know these things. 
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:38:08 PM EDT
[#11]
I am out of Dulcolax suppositories, or else I'd shove one up my ass. |
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:38:11 PM EDT
[#12]
Dulcolax
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:39:27 PM EDT
[#13]
Salt water? or go to a 24 hour drug store and get the Fleet laxative
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:39:32 PM EDT
[#14]
Fleet
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:39:55 PM EDT
[#15]
Then the unspoken… mineral oil enema |
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:39:57 PM EDT
[#16]
Fleet Phospho Soda. You'll be "evacuating" your life away for the next few hours.
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:41:09 PM EDT
[#17]
Coffee, and a nice, big bowl of Colon Blow®.
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:41:49 PM EDT
[#18]
Forgot to say that there is no drug store or even supermarket within 45 minutes of where I am right now. I need something that I have here at the house.
Salt water you say? Do I drink it or? Coffee is out since I have to get to bed soon. Not to be gross or anything, but I feel the urge, I just CAN'T go. It hurts at this point. |
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:42:28 PM EDT
[#19]
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:42:31 PM EDT
[#20]
Don't eat starch.
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:47:07 PM EDT
[#21]
drink the saltwater if your blood pressure is okay. I don't want you to pop a gasket
ETA: Recipe 2 Quarts Water - boil to tea drinking temperature 1 Level Tablespoon Salt Juice from a Lime/Lemon - if required to offset the taste 16oz (1/2 Liter) Serving Cup |
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:50:03 PM EDT
[#22]
Blood pressure is fine. I just don't have lots of stuff here at the cabin. In desperation, I was about to gag back a tablespoon or two of vegetable oil, thinking that might literally make things slide around easier. I'll try some salt water. |
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Posted: 9/18/2005 8:51:01 PM EDT
[#23]
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Posted: 9/18/2005 9:01:14 PM EDT
[#24]
I just hammered a tall glass of warm salt water. Naturally, I'll keep you all posted.....
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Posted: 9/18/2005 9:04:10 PM EDT
[#25]
good luck I hope it works for you. Don't forget to drink plenty of water to keep things moving. Range report would be cool but pics are NOT needed 
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Posted: 9/18/2005 9:08:01 PM EDT
[#26]
I dont suppose you have manzanita bushes out there do ya? Tea made with the leaves make a wonderfull laxative. We had a guy drink a couple cups of a strong tea made with the leaves and we had bets to see how long he would last. He started running ot the head about 20 minutes after drinking
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Posted: 9/18/2005 9:10:26 PM EDT
[#27]
Gad! Is nothing taboo here?
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Posted: 9/18/2005 9:11:40 PM EDT
[#28]
....says the member with the name: " Morning Wood " 
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Posted: 9/18/2005 9:13:29 PM EDT
[#29]
Well, we all knew you were full of shit, now we have proof.
The mods dont like poop threads, it will get squashed soon enough. |
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Posted: 9/18/2005 9:13:54 PM EDT
[#30]
the word "Gad" is taboo because it is teh ghey |
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Posted: 9/18/2005 9:28:29 PM EDT
[#31]
Update: I still haven't taken a dump, but after I ate my potato I put the plate on the bookshelf near my desk, being too lazy to take it to the kitchen. (My wife comes in here every morning and takes the dishes out)
Anyway, I must have placed it precariously on the edge, because that damn plate just fell off, scaring the holy dogshit out of me and the dog. Also woke my wife up, and coated the carpet with melted butter and cheese fragments. |
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Posted: 9/18/2005 9:30:01 PM EDT
[#32]
Two words: old saurkraut
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Posted: 9/18/2005 9:36:11 PM EDT
[#33]
okay 10 to 20 drop of visean ( sp ? the eye drop stuff ) in a drink. great practical joke too.
or a glass of mineral oil ( nasty ) warm slightly soapy water, and no you dont drink it. just use about 4 to 8 oz's. also lots of ways to deposit it where you want it. but lay in an empty bath tub for leakage reasons. you want to hold it in for a few mins if you can |
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Posted: 9/18/2005 9:36:16 PM EDT
[#34]
didn't scare the shit out of you huh.... the dogshit outta the dog mabye....but (unfortunately for you) not the shit out of you.... you don't have wireless and a laptop do you? you could give real-time updates.... -Roth |
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Posted: 9/18/2005 9:40:09 PM EDT
[#35]
drink another glass of saltwater
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Posted: 9/18/2005 9:42:33 PM EDT
[#36]
It works that fast? |
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Posted: 9/18/2005 9:47:39 PM EDT
[#37]
If you have any epsom salts around the cabin, read the box. I use to lose 12-14 pounds overnight when I had to make weight in the military.
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Posted: 9/18/2005 9:48:58 PM EDT
[#38]
you should be getting the urge to poop within the hour unless your really, really constipated. ETA: everyone is a little different so you may need to experiment |
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Posted: 9/18/2005 10:43:57 PM EDT
[#39]
Problem solved. I am going to bed. I am frickin SWEATING.
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Posted: 9/18/2005 10:48:13 PM EDT
[#40]
Thanks for sharing!
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Posted: 9/18/2005 10:51:31 PM EDT
[#41]
Did it wind up like this?  
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Posted: 9/18/2005 10:55:12 PM EDT
[#42]
At least I didn't post pics, like someone did here once.... |
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Posted: 9/18/2005 10:56:15 PM EDT
[#43]
Shit, I've had the same problem lately. Metamucil works for me. |
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Posted: 9/18/2005 10:58:16 PM EDT
[#44]
WOOOHOOO!!!!! CONGRATS!!!
-Roth |
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Posted: 9/19/2005 2:36:04 AM EDT
[#45]
cooool |
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Posted: 9/19/2005 4:58:39 AM EDT
[#46]
Teaspoon of epsom salt in a glass of water.
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Posted: 9/19/2005 5:02:20 AM EDT
[#47]
How about 14 cups of coffee, a 10 hour shift and a couple tamales?
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Posted: 9/19/2005 5:06:12 AM EDT
[#48]
It only works when you are trying to sandbag the wife. Sheep |
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Posted: 9/19/2005 6:45:19 AM EDT
[#49]
The quality of medical advice available on this site never ceases to amaze me.
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Posted: 9/19/2005 12:49:33 PM EDT
[#50]
if you read the label i believe baby oil will work iirc
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