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Posted: 9/3/2005 2:32:00 PM EDT
[#1]
the obligatory...
Draw down. |
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Posted: 9/3/2005 2:32:59 PM EDT
[#2]
+1 
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Posted: 9/3/2005 2:36:54 PM EDT
[#3]
You're not being paranoid if they are out to get you.
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Posted: 9/3/2005 2:37:04 PM EDT
[#4]
lol, with my 12 guage? |
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Posted: 9/3/2005 2:40:21 PM EDT
[#5]
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Posted: 9/3/2005 2:41:22 PM EDT
[#6]
No wonder. 
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Posted: 9/3/2005 2:41:31 PM EDT
[#7]
I see you have been hammer forging that sheet of aluminum foil while it's on your head.
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Posted: 9/3/2005 2:41:47 PM EDT
[#8]
lol
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Posted: 9/3/2005 2:42:01 PM EDT
[#9]
Was it these guys? If so, you're an Alien!
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Posted: 9/3/2005 2:42:42 PM EDT
[#10]
pretty much looked like them. one white guy and one black guy
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Posted: 9/3/2005 2:47:42 PM EDT
[#11]
And I was being facetious 
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Posted: 9/3/2005 2:58:43 PM EDT
[#12]
LOL, I know but others may not.
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Posted: 9/3/2005 2:59:32 PM EDT
[#13]
You failed.
Always come to the door naked and sweaty when the JWs and mormons show up.
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Posted: 9/3/2005 3:02:32 PM EDT
[#14]
Always show up at the door with a bottle of booze in your hand and a gun stuck in the waistband of your briefs, which are the only things you're wearing besides a surly expression.
It drives away Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses. ATF, on the other hand, might get a little excited. |
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Posted: 9/3/2005 3:02:57 PM EDT
[#15]
Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! My Uncle did that!! As God as my witness!! They just smiled, turn around and said they'd come back later..they left.  I guess being NAKED runs in the family. 
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Posted: 9/3/2005 3:05:27 PM EDT
[#16]
LOL Great advice!! 
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Posted: 9/3/2005 3:19:19 PM EDT
[#17]
My preferred method: naked, covered in vaseline, wearing only an LBE, and hand them a tube of KY Jelly.
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Posted: 9/3/2005 3:21:20 PM EDT
[#18]
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Posted: 9/3/2005 3:27:29 PM EDT
[#19]
 That's a knock and grab! They are looking for a woman or a stupid guy who will open the door so that they can take a quick peek at anything worth stealing. Can they see anything valuable from where they were standing? If so, watch your place for the next few days.  If they didn't think you would go easily, they might try when you aren't in.
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Posted: 9/3/2005 3:30:41 PM EDT
[#20]
.
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Posted: 9/3/2005 3:31:27 PM EDT
[#21]
This is why we keep everything worth stealing out of sight from the door and turn off all the lights backlighting us when we answer the door at night. They can't see what might be tempting to them and it lets us get a better look at them. |
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Posted: 9/3/2005 3:31:50 PM EDT
[#22]
describe how they looked "shady". Most mormons are like 20 ish, whereas most JWs will have an older person and a younger person. Preferably one minority and one not.
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Posted: 9/3/2005 3:34:44 PM EDT
[#23]
 .........................the question is .........Why did you answer the door without a gun in hand??......................I need some JD to wash out that visual
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Posted: 9/3/2005 3:38:38 PM EDT
[#24]
I'm not nasty! I'm so goodlooking, I could be Squatdog's twin brother 
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Posted: 9/3/2005 3:41:11 PM EDT
[#25]
Nevermind. It wasn't LDS then.
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Posted: 9/3/2005 3:43:00 PM EDT
[#26]
Ya. A clean shaven 20 year old with neatly trimed hair dressed in a suit doesnt seem shady to me. |
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Posted: 9/3/2005 4:49:50 PM EDT
[#27]
all this stuff requires way to much prep time - instead, just have a chainsaw that has the chain removed beside the door - crank it up before opening. Go all the way outside because the misses will complain about fumes later if you dont. they should just run. the good part is that they will tell the others and you won't have any more problems for a while |
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Posted: 9/3/2005 4:56:56 PM EDT
[#28]
paint your body blue, put on a leather mask and nothing else, dress up your pet goat in a tutu, put the goat in a leather boundage harness.. if you have a small monkee mount it on the goat. opent he door and immediately invite them down to the cellar to meet the gimp... film this.. sell it to some reality show.. you will make millions... |
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Posted: 9/3/2005 4:59:09 PM EDT
[#29]
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Posted: 9/3/2005 5:00:52 PM EDT
[#30]
Guy, as a previous multiple robbery recipient I take stuff like this very seriously. I would talk to your neighbors( even thought that is an unusual thing to do these days) and see if anyone else dealt with them right away. I would also inform you property manager, and try and figure out how they got in. Chances are, someone held the door for them trying to be polite. If you see them again call the police. You were probably getting cased. Keep your firearms locked up for the next couple weeks when you are not home, and out of sight if at all possible.
Good luck. |
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Posted: 9/3/2005 5:09:19 PM EDT
[#31]
Did one of them look like this?
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Posted: 9/3/2005 5:53:15 PM EDT
[#32]
 =  |
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Posted: 9/3/2005 6:03:09 PM EDT
[#33]
When they knock on my door I quietly stare at them through the peephole and wait until they start to to walk away. Then I softly knock on the door and they turn around with quizzical looks on their faces and walk back to the door and knock again.......and I repeat the process.
My record is 6 times for the cycle.
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Posted: 9/3/2005 6:06:03 PM EDT
[#34]
Man, you are my new hero. That's fricking hilarious. |
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Posted: 9/3/2005 6:14:53 PM EDT
[#36]
 That'll keep them away!
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Posted: 9/3/2005 6:39:31 PM EDT
[#37]
Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
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Posted: 9/3/2005 6:40:19 PM EDT
[#38]
+500 |
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Posted: 9/3/2005 7:19:31 PM EDT
[#39]
You're uncle didn't happen to go to college in central Nebr. during the early 80's did he? I have a friend, about 6' and 650 pounds, who opened the door to his trailerhouse straight out of the shower, dripping wet but wearing a towel. Filled the door, literally! Staring down to them on the ground (no porch, only steps) "You guys want hurt, don't you?" They never again knocked on his door. 
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Posted: 9/4/2005 9:09:34 AM EDT
[#40]
They could only see the bed in my bedroom from that angle. If I am home and someone trys to get in they aint leaving |
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Posted: 9/4/2005 9:13:01 AM EDT
[#41]
The black guy was just smiling a lot, but the white guy he was with was wearing a $400 pair of CK glasses. He didn't seem to try to convince me that I should join there club when I told him I wasn't interested. The black dud didn't talk at all. I didn't hear them ring any other door bells. |
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Posted: 9/4/2005 9:14:34 AM EDT
[#42]
I AM SOOOOOO DOING THIS SOMETIME!!!!!! |
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Posted: 9/4/2005 9:16:09 AM EDT
[#43]
Just because you're not paranoid, doesn't mean someone isn't following you either.
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Posted: 9/4/2005 9:28:09 AM EDT
[#44]
Agreed! Some of those door-to-door religious solicitors can be downright ornery, aggressive and won't take no for an answer. 
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Posted: 9/4/2005 9:56:45 AM EDT
[#45]
The first thing that tips you off on whether or not they're with th CoJCLDS is if they're wearing suits. Most that I've seen do.
I had a co-worker (in Pass Christian, MS unfortunately) that met them in the front yard. He told them he worshiped Satan and was going to hell and they were coming with him. Scared them so bad they dropped their stuff and hauled ass to the end of the street. BTW, he lives on a dead end street and they went the wrong way. He brought their stuff to them with the best crazy person look he could do and gave it back to them. They never came back to his street and no one else did either. He's an ex Marine, about 6'5" and could quite probably bench press a Buick. We'd get his help for all the jobs that 3 people couldn't do. Make them think you're crazy and they'll leave you alone in the future. It sounds like your guys were there to do something else though. |
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Posted: 9/4/2005 10:28:52 AM EDT
[#46]
If they are dressed in black and white, they are probably Mormons.
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Posted: 9/4/2005 10:35:04 AM EDT
[#47]
What no red gag ball? Strap that fucker on, with the obligitory bottle of booze and a holstered sidearm and hand them a note telling them you are busy right now...
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Posted: 9/4/2005 10:46:21 AM EDT
[#48]
And then reach to grab one of them by the hand and say " I ordered some one taller, but you will do." 
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Posted: 9/4/2005 10:49:52 AM EDT
[#49]
Why would you open the door to talk to someone you don't know, or aren't expecting?
And beacause people are being silly.....two words.......land shark
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Posted: 9/4/2005 10:50:35 AM EDT
[#50]
When someone violated my posted no solicitor sign I flick the TV to channel 90 to check for a car and then to channel 92 for the front door camera. I'll sit and watch and listen to them as they try to figure out why we don't answer the door. They'll listen and hear our music or our television and wonder how come we don't come at their beck and call.
There is always the release the dog out the side door option. She will not chase them too far over the property line.
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