You're missing a LOT.
Music that's too loud, and usually sucks.
Watered down drinks that cost too much.
A variety of women, with a variety of features:
Awful boob jobs
Asymmetric boob jobs. One points up, the other points down and to the side.
NICE boob jobs
Cellulite
Fat women
An impressive variety of SCARS, deformities, infected piercings, and tattoos that vary from bad to really freaking awful.
Nice looking women with great bodies and a smile that'll make you puke.
Ever heard of a dentist?
Walking skeletons of formerly anorexic zombies
Crack and meth addicts wanting to rub their asses on your crotch for a few bucks
The few that do really look like decent human beings either won't let you touch anything of interest
or they'll ram you so hard in the lap dance that you end up with bruises or maybe even a broken cock.
Really GOOD looking women with nice personalities that give you a GOOD lap dance are a gift
to be treasured. It's because of these girls that you don't wear underwear, put a condom on in
advance, and wear pants that are pretty thin so you get some good sensation from the lap dance.
But how would I know these things? I haven't been in a strip club for many years.
CJ