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Posted: 8/31/2005 6:51:53 AM EDT
OK, I'm putting on my man-girdle, baby-blue leisure suit, half-open pink rayon shirt and white shoes. I'm blow drying my hair, got the gold chain, coke spoon, earring, fake Rolex, a tube of Binaca and a fat wad of one dollar bills wrapped up in a few fives and a couple 50's.

Baby, I'm here for you. I'm your knight in shining armor. You are my fantasy girl.

A bronze membership to the woman who does the best job of flaming my fat ass.

My wife will love judging this contest.
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 6:53:40 AM EDT
[#1]
tag
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 6:53:44 AM EDT
[#2]
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 6:54:47 AM EDT
[#3]

what exactly to you mean by "flaming".  I'm not a woman and therefore cannot enter, but I thought that needed some clarification.
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 6:58:16 AM EDT
[#4]
Tagged, like I've never tagged anything before!

I have GOT to see this.
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 6:58:21 AM EDT
[#5]
<Monty Python>   No! Spank me first!   <Monty Python>
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 7:01:32 AM EDT
[#6]

Quoted:
Baby, I'm here for you. I'm your knight in shining armor. You are my fantasy girl.



That better be armor of +12 Suaveness, 'cause otherwise it won't cancel out your face of +20 Never Gonna Get Laid. Well, I know for a fact you're straight, at least, because no gay man would ever commit such a crime against fashion. How did you convince your mother to make a suit out of your blankie? What's that cologne you're wearing? Eau de Dogcrap? How many socks did you have to stuff in your tighty-whiteys to make yourself an outie? Burn, bitch.

(Not a woman, just like insulting people when given the opportunity)
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 7:02:07 AM EDT
[#7]

Quoted:
what exactly to you mean by "flaming".  I'm not a woman and therefore cannot enter, but I thought that needed some clarification.



Are you trying to tell me you've never been "shot down in flames" by a woman you've approached? You're not trying hard enough.
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 7:03:04 AM EDT
[#8]
I think they need a picture for starters
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 7:03:14 AM EDT
[#9]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Baby, I'm here for you. I'm your knight in shining armor. You are my fantasy girl.



That better be armor of +12 Suaveness, 'cause otherwise it won't cancel out your face of +20 Never Gonna Get Laid. Well, I know for a fact you're straight, at least, because no gay man would ever commit such a crime against fashion. How did you convince your mother to make a suit out of your blankie? What's that cologne you're wearing? Eau de Dogcrap? How many socks did you have to stuff in your tighty-whiteys to make yourself an outie? Burn, bitch.

(Not a woman, just like insulting people when given the opportunity)



Dayum, you're good, bitch!
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 7:04:43 AM EDT
[#10]
You are gonna post pics, right?
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 7:04:55 AM EDT
[#11]

Quoted:
I think they need a picture for starters



I tried Googling up a pic, but all I got was Leisure Suit Larry.
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 7:11:12 AM EDT
[#12]
We've got some weird dudes around here.  
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 7:13:16 AM EDT
[#13]

Quoted:
We've got some weird dudes around here.  



YES? AND? SO?

Link Posted: 8/31/2005 7:13:39 AM EDT
[#14]
I was BORN in the seventies...Damn, that cologne is strong enough to clear out my sinuses.
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 7:14:24 AM EDT
[#15]
tag
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 7:30:39 AM EDT
[#16]

Quoted:

Quoted:
what exactly to you mean by "flaming".  I'm not a woman and therefore cannot enter, but I thought that needed some clarification.



Are you trying to tell me you've never been "shot down in flames" by a woman you've approached? You're not trying hard enough.



I was slapped in the middle of a busy hall in high school one time for not getting my banquet pictures made with this chick like I had promised.  That's about as close as it comes.  Oh, you didn't know that my middle name was Beetle "Sinatra" Bailey?
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 7:38:25 AM EDT
[#17]
Let's see, I've already got a membership...maybe I can get a t-shirt instead.  lol.

YIKES!  Who picked out your clothes?  Stevie Wonder?  I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last man on earth.  If you were the last man on earth, I'd ignore you in favor of Golden Girls' reruns.  

You're so ugly, I'd pack my SHTF gear and you'd be the only bag I'd leave behind!
I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission!  Speaking of the zoo, they called, and they're missing their JACKASS!!!  How did you get out?  Did someone leave your cage open?

You're so pathetic, I bet you've never even been invited outside!  Calling you dull is a gross underestimation of just how tedious you are.  You have the personality of a damp sponge and the appeal of a moldy sweat sock. Look at you!  Darwin would not be pleased to see how inefficently evolution has worked for you.  Maybe you wouldn't be such a pathetic loser if you didn't eat all those paint chips and lead pencils when you were a kid, and if you didn't have a face so ugly that your mom had to get truly drunk before she could breast feed you.  No, come to think of it you would.

In conclusion, as your clue meter is reading zero, lets see if this registers: Get lost, creep!

Link Posted: 8/31/2005 7:40:02 AM EDT
[#18]
This could be good.
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 7:47:02 AM EDT
[#19]
Try posting in women's forum???  
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 7:48:04 AM EDT
[#20]

Quoted:
Try posting in women's forum???  



HEY!!  I responded!!!!

Let them find it on their own.

Link Posted: 8/31/2005 7:54:32 AM EDT
[#21]

Quoted:
OK, I'm putting on my man-girdle, baby-blue leisure suit, half-open pink rayon shirt and white shoes. I'm blow drying my hair, got the gold chain, coke spoon, earring, fake Rolex, a tube of Binaca and a fat wad of one dollar bills wrapped up in a few fives and a couple 50's.

Baby, I'm here for you. I'm your knight in shining armor. You are my fantasy girl.

A bronze membership to the woman who does the best job of flaming my fat ass.

My wife will love judging this contest.



Wow, you look exactly as I imagined you would.

edited to add a visual:
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 7:57:40 AM EDT
[#22]

Quoted:

Quoted:
OK, I'm putting on my man-girdle, baby-blue leisure suit, half-open pink rayon shirt and white shoes. I'm blow drying my hair, got the gold chain, coke spoon, earring, fake Rolex, a tube of Binaca and a fat wad of one dollar bills wrapped up in a few fives and a couple 50's.

Baby, I'm here for you. I'm your knight in shining armor. You are my fantasy girl.

A bronze membership to the woman who does the best job of flaming my fat ass.

My wife will love judging this contest.



Wow, you look exactly as I imagined you would.



Link Posted: 8/31/2005 8:04:48 AM EDT
[#23]
Hey there big guy, how you doin?  

Patty
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 8:14:30 AM EDT
[#24]
Oh, by the way, it was hard getting all that to fit in a sig... but YOU, my friend, are worth it.  
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 8:18:04 AM EDT
[#25]
Tag!
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 8:44:17 AM EDT
[#26]
I just want to know how you managed to make a shirt out of my grandmother's wall paper?  Your cologne really takes me back.... to those summers I spent as a volunteer in the animal shelter.  How much spirit gum did you need to hold on that fake chest hair?  I think your toupee might still be alive.  Breath mints are not a substitute for proper toothbrushing.  

Seriously, you'd think natural selection would have taken care of men like you by now, but you must be finding some way to breed.  It has to be due to alcohol or sperm banks.  
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 8:44:54 AM EDT
[#27]
What the gay?
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 8:46:44 AM EDT
[#28]
my membership ran out 8/20, lemme try for a re-up LOL

What the hell happened to you?? Did you go to the fair and fall into the cotton candy machine? You look like a baby store threw up on a pile of dog puke.  And you smell like hot garbage and century old death boiling in the heat of 500 hells.  Only you tried to cover it up by jumping into an ocean of cat piss.  Nice work.  Don't even get me started on your head.  What the crap happened to your hair? Did you stick your finger in a light socket? Or did you just get hair plugs made from pubes? You miserable puke of a person! I know you don't think you had a chance with ME! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE. The only fantasy coming true for you tonight is that you actually escaped the crazy house, thinkin you were gonna get some action lookin like that. Oh and a knight in shining armor huh? I WISH it were night, so I wouldn't be blinded by your fake-ass bling bling. If thats what you call SHINING ARMOR, try for REAL jewelry next time. Now move on, LOOOOOOOSERRRRRRR


heck, i tried lol
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 9:25:18 AM EDT
[#29]
There is some truely inspiring work being done here. My wife will be back from the nail salon in an hour or so, I'm looking forward to her reaction....
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 9:46:47 AM EDT
[#30]
I don't need the membership...but

First thing that came to mind was, "Pansy Pimp".  I could not even acknowledge a guy as you describe.
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 9:47:26 AM EDT
[#31]
tagged for later this evening when I get home. My membership was up Aug 13 and I haven't renewed it yet.
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 9:49:04 AM EDT
[#32]
Tagged - any DaBunny mockery is a good mockery!!

The REAL DaBunny..........
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 11:14:48 AM EDT
[#33]

Quoted:

Wow, you look exactly as I imagined you would.

edited to add a visual:

He looks even worse up close:
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 11:18:30 AM EDT
[#34]
to make things fair - GabbasaurasRex should be given an opprotunity to chime in.

Patty
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 12:30:27 PM EDT
[#35]

Quoted:
to make things fair - GabbasaurasRex should be given an opprotunity to chime in.

Patty



He posted something in the womens forum directing us this way.  Finders keepers LOL
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 12:32:50 PM EDT
[#36]

Quoted:

Quoted:
to make things fair - GabbasaurasRex should be given an opprotunity to chime in.

Patty



He posted something in the womens forum directing us this way.  Finders keepers LOL



True, however you have to admit - she can don a flame suit with the best of them!  Patty
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 12:36:11 PM EDT
[#37]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:
to make things fair - GabbasaurasRex should be given an opprotunity to chime in.

Patty



He posted something in the womens forum directing us this way.  Finders keepers LOL



True, however you have to admit - she can don a flame suit with the best of them!  Patty



True, however, LOL he gave us all some heads up to find it, and no one should get special attention b/c they are "good at it".  Fair game chickadeeee lol
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 12:43:21 PM EDT
[#38]
My wife may want to give the evening shift an opportunity to have at me. I'm at your mercy, and more importantly, her mercy......
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 12:54:02 PM EDT
[#39]
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 1:13:53 PM EDT
[#40]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:
to make things fair - GabbasaurasRex should be given an opprotunity to chime in.

Patty



He posted something in the womens forum directing us this way.  Finders keepers LOL



True, however you have to admit - she can don a flame suit with the best of them!  Patty



True, however, LOL he gave us all some heads up to find it, and no one should get special attention b/c they are "good at it".  Fair game chickadeeee lol



point well made!  I am after all a lover not a fighter!  Patty *ETA* Could be a case of "You snooze You Loose"
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 2:10:11 PM EDT
[#41]

Quoted:
I think... no, I am positive... that you are the most unattractive man I have ever met in my entire life. You know, in the short time we've been together, you have demonstrated EVERY loathsome characteristic of the male personality and even discovered a few new ones. You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, you're morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor and you smell. You're not even interesting enough to make me sick.

Shamelessly stolen from The Witches of Eastwick; I find it serves well on so many occasions.



That's cheating, you know me from chat. You have an unfair advantage.
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 2:44:11 PM EDT
[#42]
Ladies, I am AWED (not surprised mind you, just awed), by the creative and descriptive insults you've composed for the presumptions, stuck-in-the-70s, neanderthal-wannabe that is my spouse.  Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!

A career wall-flower myself, I've never had the opportunity to either learn or practise the art of the flaming put-down at which you are all so obviously expert.

I further encourage other women to indulge their desire to spectacularly insult this pathetic excuse for a man who so obviously deserves it.  You all are an inspiration!  And further proof of why I'm never nervous when my unaccompanied husband flirts with women........I've seen him try.

La B
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 2:52:30 PM EDT
[#43]
I will say only one thing:

You're an expert on what a faked orgasm sounds like.



That's my contribution.  I don't need a membership, and for once, I'm not in a mean mood.
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 2:55:38 PM EDT
[#44]
Tag
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 2:56:39 PM EDT
[#45]
taggaroooni..
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 3:36:56 PM EDT
[#46]
My dear Sir I would love to imbibe and be subjugated to the aphorism of which you speak. However I postulate the dictum would be too abstruse for you to discern. I am a lady ad nauseam, and would interminably perish should I persevere and captivate your pestilential wit. Good day!
Gee that was fun! what else ya got??????????????

Hi Mrs!!!!!



PS- I don't need a membership
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 4:55:07 PM EDT
[#47]

Quoted:
Ladies, I am AWED (not surprised mind you, just awed), by the creative and descriptive insults you've composed for the presumptions, stuck-in-the-70s, neanderthal-wannabe that is my spouse.  Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!

A career wall-flower myself, I've never had the opportunity to either learn or practise the art of the flaming put-down at which you are all so obviously expert.

I further encourage other women to indulge their desire to spectacularly insult this pathetic excuse for a man who so obviously deserves it.   You all are an inspiration!  And further proof of why I'm never nervous when my unaccompanied husband flirts with women........I've seen him try.

La B



Wow, and you're his wife... you win.  

Harsh................

Link Posted: 8/31/2005 5:20:55 PM EDT
[#48]
 Damm Da-Bunny, you are a freak!
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 5:22:27 PM EDT
[#49]
tag
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 5:22:35 PM EDT
[#50]

Quoted:

Wow, and you're his wife... you win.  

Harsh................




She has a whole cheer squad to help her

I'll be getting it all weekend from our friends..........
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