Okay to marry 3rd cousin?

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Okay to marry 3rd cousin? (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:38:09 AM EDT

Whats the ARFCOM stance on marrying third cousins? No i don not want to marry any of my third cousins. Hell i never even met a 2nd cousin.

What is a third cousin anyway. Would it be my cousins, cousins, cousin?

So yah or nay on marrying your 3rd cousin if shes hot?

This outta be good.

Matt

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:38:56 AM EDT

[#1]

You sure you're not from Arkansas?

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:41:12 AM EDT

[#2]

I'd say no.

There are cousins who I have no blood relation to, but I view them as relatives. Marrying a relative is just weird coming from my background.

Now legally it would depend on your state and from a genetics standpoint there isn't much fear as long as its not done for generations.

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:41:17 AM EDT

[#3]

{insert your own "Deliverance" joke here}

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:41:41 AM EDT

[#4]

The word cousin still applies.

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:43:06 AM EDT

[#5]

If I'm not mistaken, the law in most states says 3rd cousin is OK. I could be wrong in this.

Jokes aside, if there's not a biological problem with it and you didn't grow up knowing this person as your "cousin", I don't see what the big deal is.

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:43:48 AM EDT

[#6]

Quoted:
You sure you're not from Arkansas?

Hey fucker, just cause it's legal here......

I think Kentucky and Mississippi are both ok with marrying your sister so we're ok.

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:44:34 AM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:
Whats the ARFCOM stance on marrying third cousins? No i don not want to marry any of my third cousins. Hell i never even met a 2nd cousin.

What is a third cousin anyway. Would it be my cousins, cousins, cousin?

So yah or nay on marrying your 3rd cousin if shes hot?

This outta be good.

Matt

Attn: Bible thumpers! Question. the bible has no restriction on sex with a cousin, correct? Thanks!

I've read in Discovery that the odds of cousin spawn had some genetic defect is around 3 or 4%, whic is the same odds for a woman at 40 having children. Random people spawn are around 1% chance of SOME (ie: any, could be harmless or could be CF) genetic defect.

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:46:22 AM EDT

[#8]

I did a quick google search and 3rd cousins have the same Great Great Grand parents.

Matt

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:46:42 AM EDT

[#9]

I believe that genetic research has shown that reproduction wiht 2nd cousins really doesn't have many of the risks that people have traditionally believed.

Third would seem to be completely okay.

(Dislaimer: Not an expert, and since I don't have any hot cousins, I never really thought about it anyway

)

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:46:55 AM EDT

[#10]

Biologically, it's okay to marry a 1st cousin

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:48:40 AM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
I did a quick google search and 3rd cousins have the same Great Great Grand parents.

Matt

thanks, i was wondering what the hell a 3rd cousin was.

Then again, I don't know what a 2nd cousin is.

TXL

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:50:41 AM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
Biologically, it's okay to marry a 1st cousin

That's interesting. I never heard that.

"Don't think unnatural thoughts about your cousin, Russ"

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:51:30 AM EDT

[#13]

26 states allow marriage to cousins. However, I think it's probably not too good for the gene pool.

States That Allow Marriage To Cousins

A

Alabama: First cousins, yes.

Alaska: First cousins, yes.

Arizona: First cousins, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children. Half cousins, yes.

Arkansas: No
B

C

California: First cousins, yes.

Colorado: First cousins, yes.

Connecticut: First cousins, yes.
D

Delaware: No

District of Columbia: First cousins, yes.
E

F

Florida: First cousins, yes.
G

Georgia: First cousins, yes.
H

Hawaii: First cousins, yes.
I

Idaho: No

Illinois: First cousins, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children.

Indiana: First cousins once removed, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children.

Iowa: No
J

K

Kansas: Half cousins, yes.

Kentucky: No
L

Louisiana: Adopted cousins, yes.
M

Maine: First cousins, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children, or if they get genetic counseling.

Maryland: First cousins, yes.

Massachusetts: First cousins, yes.

Michigan: No

Minnesota: No, unless aboriginal culture of the couple permits cousin marriages.

Mississippi: Adopted cousins, yes.

Missouri: No

Montana: Half cousins, yes.
N

Nebraska: Half cousins, yes.

Nevada: Half cousins, yes.

New Hampshire: No

New Jersey: First cousins, yes.

New Mexico: First cousins, yes.

New York: First cousins, yes.

North Carolina: First cousins, yes. Double first cousins are not allowed to get married.

North Dakota: No
O

Ohio: No

Oklahoma: Half cousins, yes.

Oregon: Adopted cousins, yes.
P

Pennsylvania: No
Q

R

Rhode Island: First cousins, yes.
S

South Carolina: First cousins, yes.

South Dakota: No
T

Tennessee: First cousins, yes.

Texas: First cousins, yes.
U

Utah: First cousins, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children.
V

Vermont: First cousins, yes.

Virginia: First cousins, yes.
W

Washington: No

West Virginia: Adopted cousins, yes.

Wisconsin: First cousins once removed, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children.

Wyoming: No
X

Y

Z

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:51:39 AM EDT

[#14]

I always thought your "second cousin" was your cousin's kid (or your parent's cousin). Guess I was wrong.

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:52:27 AM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
I believe that genetic research has shown that reproduction with 2nd cousins really doesn't have many of the risks that people have traditionally believed.

Third would seem to be completely okay.

(Dislaimer: Not an expert, and since I don't have any hot cousins, I never really thought about it anyway )

Bwahaha!

I agree completely!

BigDozer66

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:53:23 AM EDT

[#16]

Legally? In every place I've heard of it's fine.

Genetically? I'd expect it's just fine and dandy. 2nd cousins are supposed to be far enough out.

Ethically? That's the stumbling block, now isn't it?

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:55:21 AM EDT

[#17]

Must have pics of cousin.

Shok

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:56:04 AM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
If I'm not mistaken, the law in most states says 3rd cousin is OK. I could be wrong in this.

In some states 1st cousins can legally marry although some may have age or other restrictions.

ETA: Damn some of you guys are fast.

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:56:10 AM EDT

[#19]

I had a 2nd cousin that was HOT! I'd have done her in a heartbeat.
Her sister,whom I'm sure I could have had,was,er,not so hot,to be polite.Very friendly and flirty.And she sure looked like she'd be fun.Found out years later that their Mom,my Dad's cousing,was adopted,so not even blood.DOH!Dave

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:58:57 AM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
I had a 2nd cousin that was HOT! I'd have done her in a heartbeat.
Her sister,whom I'm sure I could have had,was,er,not so hot,to be polite.Very friendly and flirty.And she sure looked like she'd be fun.Found out years later that their Mom,my Dad's cousing,was adopted,so not even blood.DOH!Dave

you're a brave man Dave.

disgusting, but brave.

Posted: 8/29/2005 10:59:57 AM EDT

[#21]

wont be long before same sex cousin marriage is legal

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:00:07 AM EDT

[#22]

Just to see if I've got this straight...

2nd cousins are the offspring of a parents cousin, so, the daughter of my fathers cousin would be my second cousin.

So my 3rd cousin would be the grandson/daughter of my grandfather/mother's cousin?

Is this right?

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:00:41 AM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
Biologically, it's okay to marry a 1st cousin

Biologically its ok to marry your sister. Its only when its done generation after generation that its an issue.

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:00:49 AM EDT

[#24]

FDR married his cousin. I know they weren't first cousins, but maybe second or third.

Eleanor was pretty ugly and of course a liberal, maybe that's what's wrong with them.

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:01:27 AM EDT

[#25]

State of the Art thinking at Arfcom is that you shouldn't marry AT ALL. Just rent the pie.

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:03:16 AM EDT

[#26]

Saddam Hussein married his cousin. It's a common thing in the muslim world. Imagine being a suicide bomber and you blow up and meet your 72 virgins and they're all family members

ETA: I'm da page 2 king

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:03:18 AM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:
Just to see if I've got this straight...

2nd cousins are the offspring of a parents cousin, so, the daughter of my fathers cousin would be my second cousin.

So my 3rd cousin would be the grandson/daughter of my grandfather/mother's cousin?

Is this right?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin

www.genealogy.com/16_cousn.html

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:04:06 AM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
Saddam Hussein married his cousin. It's a common thing in the muslim world. Imagine being a suicide bomber and you blow up and meet your 72 virgins and they're all family members

If they aint good enough for their own family, they ain't good enough for us !

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:05:05 AM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Biologically, it's okay to marry a 1st cousin

Biologically its ok to marry your sister. Its only when its done generation after generation that its an issue.

Biologically the concept of marriage is meaningless. It is only generations of sibling spawn that is the issue.

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:05:40 AM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:
FDR married his cousin. I know they weren't first cousins, but maybe second or third.

Eleanor was pretty ugly and of course a liberal, maybe that's what's wrong with them.

Elenore and Franklin Roosevelt were 3rd cousins....

I am surprised at the number of states that allow 1st Cousins! Thats wierd, I had thought the standard was pretty universal at 2nd Cousin.

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:05:51 AM EDT

[#31]

It never ceases to amaze me where we get these questions from....

But I thought it appropriate to post the lyrics of a famous song from the...1940s!

I'm My Own Grandpa

by Guy Lombardo (Yes, 'the' Guy Lombardo)

Now many many years ago when I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed

Oh I'm my own grandpa
I'm my own granpa
It sounds funny I know,
But it really is so
Oh I'm my own grandpa

This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life
My daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife
To complicate the matter even though it brought me joy
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad
For if he was my uncle, then that also made him br'ther
Of the widow's grown-up daughter who was also my stepmother

Father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run
And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son
My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue
Because altho' she is my wife, she's my grandmother too

Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild
And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild
For now I have become the strangest case I ever saw
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa.

BTW, I liked Ray Stevens' version better....or even Grandpa Jones'!

Eric The(Grandpa,Himself)Hun

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:06:32 AM EDT

[#32]

Now isn't it possible, with all the "secrets" families have, someone could already be married to a cousin, or worse.
Just a thought.

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:06:54 AM EDT

[#33]

Would that be 3rd cousin twice removed?

Patty

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:08:41 AM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:
{insert your own "Deliverance" joke here}

Billy Bob was getty freaky with his sister Sue Bob.
Sue Bob goes: "Dang Billy Bob, you freak almost as good as Pa"
Billy Bob goes: "Yeah, ma tells me that too!"

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:11:48 AM EDT

[#35]

Quoted:
Just to see if I've got this straight...

2nd cousins are the offspring of a parents cousin, so, the daughter of my fathers cousin would be my second cousin.

So my 3rd cousin would be the grandson/daughter of my grandfather/mother's cousin?

Is this right?

A second cousin is offspring from your great grandfather that isn't a first cousin.

A third cousin is the offspring from your great great grandfather that isn't a second or first cousin.

Cousins must be part of the same generation. If not, then the relation is to the cousin and then "removed" by the number of generations. The father or child of your second cousin would be a second cousin once removed for example.

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:17:17 AM EDT

[#36]

Inbreeding-why go down the street when you can go down the hall?

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:23:43 AM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:
Inbreeding-why go down the street when you can go down the hall?

Its hard to call it that when its that many generations removed...

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:27:28 AM EDT

[#38]

I can't believe you even know who your 3rd cousins are. I don't even know who my 2nd cousins are.

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:32:16 AM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:
Whats the ARFCOM stance on marrying third cousins? No i don not want to marry any of my third cousins. Hell i never even met a 2nd cousin.

What is a third cousin anyway. Would it be my cousins, cousins, cousin?

So yah or nay on marrying your 3rd cousin if shes hot?

This outta be good.

Matt

I say ok, I doubt any state prohibits 3rd cousins. There is not much genetic similarity left after adding in all those other genes from other famies. Christ, GA allows first coursin marriages.

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:37:31 AM EDT

[#40]

3rd cousins are about all I have. I have 1 first cousin I actually like. The others can soak their heads as far as I'm concerned. I have a whole slew of 3rd cousins, but I'd never consider marrying one...

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:38:45 AM EDT

[#41]

Quoted:
26 states allow marriage to cousins. However, I think it's probably not too good for the gene pool.
<snip>
Kansas: Half cousins, yes.
<snip>

Front half or back half, I wonder.

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:47:28 AM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:
Biologically, it's okay to marry a 1st cousin

its not the marrying part that raises the most eyebrows, its the thought of consumation and procreation that boggles the mind and turns most peoples stomach, people'd be calling you Archie Bunker, cause you keep it all in the family, and I guess if she's your cousin on your daddy's side, she wouldn't even have to change her last name, you sure you didn't relocate to New Jersey from the Ozarks?

Posted: 8/29/2005 11:49:40 AM EDT

[#43]

Marrying your 3rd Cousin is OK…

Sex with your 1st cousin is also very OK!

ANdy

Posted: 8/29/2005 12:50:48 PM EDT

[#44]

Does anyone else hear a banjo?

Posted: 8/29/2005 12:55:19 PM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
Does anyone else hear a banjo?

yepper and its wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy outta tune

Posted: 8/29/2005 1:01:02 PM EDT

[#46]

Back to the ORIGINAL question...................Is she HOT???

Posted: 8/29/2005 1:12:22 PM EDT

[#47]

Quoted:
Back to the ORIGINAL question...................Is she HOT???

We can't trust his answer. We obviously need PICS!!!

Posted: 8/29/2005 1:17:01 PM EDT

[#48]

Ok you southerners....

Look at this one:

The Old Man’s Darling

By Matthew Linton Chancey

Crouching in a muddy Virginia trench, Pvt. William Jasper Martin, hot, wet and far from home, shivered with fever and contemplated his prospects. The backwoods 18 year-old boy represented the shattered remnants of an army that had captivated the world. The Army of Northern Virginia had started with a few local militias in fancy uniforms and smoothbore muskets, and within two years had earned an everlasting legacy of valor which would fill thousands of books and millions of hearts the world over.

They came from all over the South: from the well-bred, tidewater Virginia Caviler to the ruddy Scottish Presbyterian of the Southern Highlands. These men represented the South united and the hope of the young confederation of American States which had banded together—as their fathers and grandfathers had—to form a government of their own. Now in the summer of 1864, the South’s greatest army was slowly sinking into the mire around Petersburg and into history.

Today, the American Civil War is considered by most to be ancient history. Aside from your core group of history buffs, many Americans have trouble placing the War Between the States within the right century, let alone understanding the significance of why it was fought.

However, The War Between the States did not take place that long ago. It is true that the technological wonders of the 20th century have created a seemingly insurmountable wall between the Old South and the New. But the Old South is not that old. There are people still living today whose grandfathers fought in America’s greatest and most devastating war. There are even those living who had fathers marching under Robert E. Lee and "Stonewall" Jackson. But there is one individual connected to the Old South in a way in which none other can boast. Pvt. William Jasper Martin’s wife still lives. Mrs. Alberta Martin (92) is the last known living widow of a Confederate veteran.

If you want to visit "Miz" Alberta, you will not find her living on a plantation estate in Natchez, Mississippi, or Savannah, Georgia, but in a small assisted living facility in Elba, Alabama. Miz Alberta has been called "the last link to Dixie" because to meet her is to meet history face-to-face. Although she never lived in the 19th century, her connection to Pvt. W.J. Martin and the Confederacy is special and unique. Since 1996, Miz Alberta has received the "Alabama State Pension for the Widows of Confederate Soldiers, Sailors, and Marines." Her story is one of two centuries, two worlds, two societies, two political philosophies and two nations¾ all intersecting in the life of one truly remarkable lady.

Humble Beginnings

Miz Alberta was born Alberta Stewart on December 4, 1906, down in a little hollow by a sawmill at a place called Dannely’s Crossroads in Coffee County, Alabama. Today, although the sawmill is long gone, Dannely’s Crossroads looks much like it did in

1906—a simple intersection surrounded by cotton and peanut fields. An old filling station sits on the corner, representing the only commercial establishment in the community; and scattered here and there are a few house trailers and the remains of old barns and sharecropper homes.

Miz Alberta’s parents, like many folks in the rural South at that time, were sharecroppers who spent their lives moving from field to field, planting and picking under the steamy southern sky. "Back then times was hard," comments Miz Alberta, "Back in the olden times, we lived poor. Everything was cheap, but you had no money. It don’t seem like nothin’s like it use to be. Seems like ever’thing has got modern."

Folks alive today who grew up as sharecroppers will tell you that the arrangement usually resulted in farmer and field hand getting the essentials of life, but not much more. The better the soil in a particular field, the better the crop yield—which translated into greater profits for the sharecropper. Consequently, the Stewarts moved nearly every year, sometimes just across the street to work in an adjacent field.

Although modern family portraits usually picture family members neatly groomed and in comfortable living quarters, the only known picture of the Stewart family shows everyone in a cotton field—little cotton sacks hanging around the tiny bodies of the children. "Before we were old enough to pick, they would put us in a cotton basket and take us out to the field with ‘em. They would hang 24-pound flour sacks around our necks. I started pickin’ cotton just as soon as I could wear that sack. When we’d get that little ol’ cotton sack full, we emptied it into our mama or daddy’s sack. We shook peanuts, stacked peanuts, hoed peanuts, hoed cotton and picked up roots where they’d clear a patch …for plantin’ next year. It was hard work."

Even though the Stewarts and most of their neighbors were dirt poor, Miz Alberta still remembers some of the good times they had down on the farm. Every 4th of July, ol’ Doc Donaldson, who owned many of the fields in the area, would have a big Independence Day dinner where all his hands and anybody else who wanted to come could spend the day eating and playing games. Mr. Stewart loved to dance, and, according to Miz Alberta, "He could play the fiddle right smart." He decided to throw a party one day for all the neighbors. So they cleared the furniture and beds out of one room and had a big dance. Miz Alberta remembers that the guests spit tobacco juice all over the floor, and her daddy promised never to host another indoor dance again. Such was life on the red dirt roads in Curtis, Alabama.

With the good times came some bad as well. When Alberta was 11 years old, her mother died after a long, painful battle with cancer. In 1918, Alberta’s brother, A.J., went off to war in France for Uncle Sam. Shortly after A.J. shipped out, so did the rest of the Stewarts. Mr. Stewart decided to move his family to a place that might have been as distant as Europe as far as the children were concerned—Tallassee, Alabama (around 100 miles from Curtis).

It was in Tallassee that Alberta married her first husband, Howard Farrow, in a little church on a street corner. Mr. Farrow made his living driving a taxi cab. While she was pregnant with their first child, Miz Alberta worked 12 hours a day in a cotton mill until her clothes could no longer hide her condition. Shortly before their son, Harold, was born, Mr. Farrow abandoned his young, pregnant wife. Matters only worsened. When Harold was only six months old, his father burned to death in a violent car accident.

After Howard’s death, Alberta and her father moved back south, this time outside of Opp, Alabama, in Covington County. They moved in with Alberta’s half-brother and his family. Living conditions were cramped in the little house, and Miz Alberta would periodically take Harold out for some fresh air in the front yard. The house was surrounded by a picket fence, and it was at this fence line that Miz Alberta remembers seeing an old man frequently passing by on his way to town. Unbeknownst to her, this particular old man had passed the house for reasons other than to meet some old war buddies at the corner store for a game of dominoes.

Mr. Martin

Little is known of the early history of Pvt. W.J. Martin. He was born in Macon County, Georgia in December 1845, but spent most of his life in the Covington County area. W.J. joined the Confederate army in May, 1864. He fell in with Company K of the 4th Alabama Infantry Regiment, which at the time was involved in the siege of Petersburg and action around Richmond. As for the rest of his War record, confusion abounds, since there were three or four W. Martins in the 4th Alabama Infantry, including two in company K. It appears that several records have also been commingled.

What happened after Pvt. Martin arrived in Petersburg is sketchy. He took part in the Howlett’s House skirmish near Richmond and was eventually hospitalized with Rubella. Some records list a William Martin as a deserter, but that William Martin was recorded as being born in Alabama. William Jasper Martin was born in Georgia. The William Martin who was listed as a deserter joined the Army when he was 16. William Jasper Martin joined when he was 18. To add to the confusion, when W.J. was in the hospital, some of his comrades reported him dead.

Despite the ambiguity of the official record, Pvt. Martin later convinced the State of Alabama that he was eligible for the Confederate veterans’ pension through the production of witnesses testifying to his military service. Additionally, the War Department could find no evidence in 1920 that William Jasper Martin was a deserter. Mr. Martin, like so many other Alabama Confederate veterans, applied for a pension late in life—as one’s net worth had to be $400.00 or less to be eligible.

We may never know for sure whether W.J. was a deserter or not, but we do know that veteran Pvt. Martin was a true Confederate at heart. Miz Alberta remembers that he made an effort to attend every annual reunion of the United Confederate Veterans in Montgomery. "Mr. Martin," as Alberta called him, had changed considerably since his military days—at least physically. The sounds of battle long since faded, the old warrior was in his eighties now. But his elderly frame hid a youthful spirit.

Their courtship was brief—just a few conversations over the fence rail. He asked; she consented. Mr. Martin then had to ask Mr. Stewart for his daughter’s hand. Mr. Stewart gave his consent. Although it was an unusual match, he had little of which to complain. Mr. Martin was a sober man, and his generous pension of $50.00 a month would give Alberta and Harold a good life.

The wedding was scheduled for Saturday, December 10, 1927. W.J. was nearly 82; Miz Alberta had just turned 21. It may be safe to assume that never had the town of Opp heard such a story. This was to be a most abnormal marriage, and the gossip flowed freely. Mrs. Martin went to town and bought herself a blue dress with a floral design in front extending from the neckline down to the hem. Mr. Martin wore a dress shirt and sport coat. They were married at the courthouse in Andalusia, the Covington County seat. When asked if she loved him, Miz Alberta stated that her marriage to W.J. was not based on the type of love found between two young people, but on mutual respect and need. Both wanted companionship and support—a young widow with a baby to look after, and an old man who needed someone to take care of him.

The uneventful wedding concluded, Mr. Martin took his new bride home to meet the family. Mr. Martin lived with one of his sons (from an earlier marriage) and his family. Thus the peculiar wedding gave way to a very peculiar honeymoon when the new Mr. and Mrs. Martin spent their first night together in the same bedroom with four other family members. Needless to say, Miz Alberta remembers that "after that first weekend, we got out of that place and found us our own home in town."

No sooner had the gossip died down in Opp when it was announced that Mrs. Martin would be expecting her second child. Ten months after the marriage, Willie was born. Mr. Martin was very proud of his little boy. He would periodically take him into town, carrying the lad on his shoulders to show off his prize.

Remembering the War

Mr. Martin never talked very much to his young wife about his service with the 4th Alabama. One of the few things she remembers is his complaining about how hungry he was and how on passing a field, he would dig frantically to find a potato or something left from the harvest. The grim memories of trench warfare also were related. Mr. Martin told Alberta about how he and his messmates would constantly throw firewood, blankets, and anything else on the floor of the trench in order to stay out of the mud. He also confided to Miz Alberta that Union men had tried to get him to enlist and serve Abe Lincoln’s army—a proposition he flatly refused.

Mr. and Mrs. Martin’s marriage was brief, lasting only 4 1/2 years. During the 1920s and ‘30s, Pvt. Martin and his Confederate comrades began slipping into eternity at an ever-increasing rate. His funeral was very simple and without pageantry. Today, beneath a large cedar tree in the Cool Springs Primitive Baptist Church Cemetery in Opp, Alabama, a simple VA marker identifies his grave. Today, when asked why she married a man so much older than herself, Miz Alberta just smiles and says, "It’s better to be an old man’s darlin’ than a young man’s slave!"

Two months after Mr. Martin’s death, Alberta married again, this time to Mr. Charlie Martin. Charlie happened was the grandson of W.J. Martin from his first marriage, which had taken place over 50 years earlier. By this time, the folks in Opp had seen just about everything. At first, the local clergy were not sure how to handle the marriage, so Charlie and Alberta were temporarily estranged from their church. But upon further study of the Scripture, it was agreed that the Martins were not committing sin, and the couple was welcomed back into fellowship.

In 1936 the Martins moved to Elba, where they spent most of their life together. The two were married for over 50 years until Mr. Martin’s death in 1983. After Charlie died, Miz Alberta settled down for permanent widowhood. She led a quiet life, playing bingo at the local Senior Citizens Center and attending church with her friends. Every now and again someone would ask her about her Confederate husband, but for the most part Miz Alberta’s past remained largely unknown. That is until Daisy Wilson Cave, supposedly the "last known living Confederate widow" died around 1990.

The overlooked widow.

In the Spring of 1996 when the Pvt. William Rufus Painter Camp # 1719 realized who they had in their back yard, Dr. Ken Chancey, a visiting SCV member from the Col. William C. Oates Camp #809, Dothan, Alabama, volunteered to visit Miz. Alberta and see if the SCV could offer any assistance to her. After driving around Elba trying to find the right street, he finally received a police escort to her house. Miz Alberta was pleased as always to have visitors and listened intently as Dr. Chancey asked her questions about her needs. She made two requests to the doctor: One was that he help her receive the recognition to which she believed she was entitled for marrying into history. She modestly stated that she had never done anything all that important in her life, but she was the last Confederate widow. The second request was that the SCV look into her eligibility for a Confederate pension. After receiving assurance from Dr. Chancey that he would do his best, the two said their good-byes.

On to Richmond!

In 1996, the SCV held its 100th anniversary convention in Richmond, Virginia, at the majestic Jefferson Hotel. Men from all over the country gathered for the opening session of the Convention. SCV members could be easily identified—their Sunday suits glittered with heritage metals and Bonnie Blue lapel pins. The convention promised to be the one of the most memorable in SCV history.

In the main ballroom the 5th Alabama Infantry Band played Southern music with passion, and the stage was draped with a huge Confederate Battle Flag. After the ceremonies began, the Commander-in-Chief of the SCV announced that they had a special guest among them. "Men, can you believe it? We still have one with us!" He then introduced Alberta Martin as the last known living widow of a Confederate veteran, and the brand new recipient of the "Alabama State Pension for the Widows of Confederate Soldiers, Sailors, and Marines." Mrs. Martin was slowly wheeled down the aisle by Dr. Chancey. As she passed, whispers could be heard, "That’s the widow…that’s her, boys." The men burst into a rousing ovation while Miz Alberta, with both hands, began throwing kisses. This provoked the men to more intense applause and some were observed weeping, as they no doubt realized the special connection this 89-year-old woman had to their own Confederate heritage.

With the applause and rebel yells continuing, Miz Alberta was asked if she would like to say anything. She told the men that she loved them and thanked them for all they had done for her. With that, the ovations and rebel yells started up again. This was the largest and warmest reception Mrs. Martin had ever received in her life.

Miz Alberta has since been to numerous reenactments, Confederate grave dedications, a funeral for an unknown Gettysburg casualty, a meeting with a Union veteran’s widow, dedication of the Jefferson Davis Presidential Library, several more SCV annual conventions, and the recent Confederate Flag rally in Columbia, S.C.. Who would have thought that Fate would have it that a little old woman, who grew up dirt poor in southeast Alabama, would become the most unique direct link to an old civilization that has endeared the hearts of millions? Alberta Martin’s life is a silent reminder to us not to get so caught up in "progress" that we forget the important lessons and experiences from the past.

The seeds of her unique legacy have apparently fallen on fertile ground, for in the last ten years, Confederate heritage groups have mushroomed in the North and South. Never since the end of Reconstruction has there been such a renewed interest in what it means to be Southern and a descendant of a Confederate soldier, sailor, or marine. With this movement is developing a common icon—not of a masculine reenactor in his dress grays, or a suave politician speaking on State’s Rights—but of a little old widow from Elba, Alabama, waving a Confederate Battle Flag and blowing kisses to descendents of men who fought along with her late husband for the cause of Southern independence.

Ol’ times there are not forgotten…

So, the young chickie maries the old fart... they have a child... the old fart dies and she marries the old fart's grandson (hopefully from another marrage).... Please try to draw that family tree and does the new husband get to call her Grandma as well?

From lastconfederatewidow.com/

Posted: 8/29/2005 1:33:49 PM EDT

[#49]

Well Adam and Eve had children

who did their kids marry?????

Just something to think about

I think you can marry a third Cousin, but wiouldnt you feel strange at family reunions?????

FREE

Quoted:
Quoted:
Whats the ARFCOM stance on marrying third cousins? No i don not want to marry any of my third cousins. Hell i never even met a 2nd cousin.

What is a third cousin anyway. Would it be my cousins, cousins, cousin?

So yah or nay on marrying your 3rd cousin if shes hot?

This outta be good.

Matt

Attn: Bible thumpers! Question. the bible has no restriction on sex with a cousin, correct? Thanks!

I've read in Discovery that the odds of cousin spawn had some genetic defect is around 3 or 4%, whic is the same odds for a woman at 40 having children. Random people spawn are around 1% chance of SOME (ie: any, could be harmless or could be CF) genetic defect.

Posted: 8/29/2005 1:37:22 PM EDT

[#50]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Just to see if I've got this straight...

2nd cousins are the offspring of a parents cousin, so, the daughter of my fathers cousin would be my second cousin.

So my 3rd cousin would be the grandson/daughter of my grandfather/mother's cousin?

Is this right?

A second cousin is offspring from your great grandfather that isn't a first cousin.

A third cousin is the offspring from your great great grandfather that isn't a second or first cousin.

Cousins must be part of the same generation. If not, then the relation is to the cousin and then "removed" by the number of generations. The father or child of your second cousin would be a second cousin once removed for example.

Thank you for pointing this out so I didn't have to type it. What most people refer to as "second cousin" (ie, your parent's cousin) is actuall your FIRST cousin, once removed.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Okay to marry 3rd cousin? (Page 1 of 2)

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