Lord save me from the affliction of college girls...

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Lord save me from the affliction of college girls... (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 8/18/2005 3:58:17 PM EDT

As I type I am working late (again) and watching progress bars go from left to right, which lately seems to be the bulk of my job.

Anyhoo, outside in the hallway of the building are a group of college girls (either the swimteam or gymnastics team, I don't know which) and they are LOUD.

Care to guess the deep conversation that is going on out there?

For 10 minutes there was discussion of something called the "beaver dive", and from the sounds of things I don't believe it had anything to do with zoology. Then, moving to deeper philosophical ground, they had a long debate as to what the exact difference between a "shart" and a "turtle head" was.

Now at first I hadn't a clue what they were talking about, but as the conversation went on, they got in to graphic detail. Very graphic. I suppose I know enough about the difference between those two well enough to be tested on it now.

Currently the topic of conversation is an old boyfriend one girl knew that had a completely shaved private area...

Frankly, I am ready to pull the S&W 442 out of my pocket and shoot myself through the head just to make it stop.

Guys tell me all the time how "lucky" I am to work on a campus surrounded by literally tens of thousands of young women in the peak of their beauty. I say that the fantasy of those guys is far superior to the reality I live day to day.

Gak.

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:00:00 PM EDT

[#1]

As much as I like the eye candy around B-burg, I like the quiet summers.

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:01:01 PM EDT

[#2]

Little detail.. women at the peak of thier beauty are at the absolute nadir of thier intelligence.

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:05:31 PM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:
As much as I like the eye candy around B-burg, I like the quiet summers.

No such thing here. Increasingly the summer is buisier than the academic year. Our university is housing outside groups from literally all over the world for all sorts of events and conferences, which nets a fairly tidy sum of money. (It's all about finding new streams of revenue in higher ed these days...)

That means that in one day I can deal with a group of tottering old senior citizens trying to get money from one of our card readers (no lie) to having a bunch of middle school kids in one of the sports camps breaking lab equipment, to the normal college traffic of people taking summer classes. (Which run from the first monday after spring semester ends, until 2 weeks before fall semester begins...)

Summers were SUPPOSED to be off times where we could get work done. (Upgrades, renovations, etc...) but now the summers are busier than ever, because we are short staffed because everyone thinks summer is a "slow" period...

Grrr.

And thanks to the recent VA bond initiative, we are guaranteed construction for the next 5 or 6 years straight. Thus there is no such thing as a "quiet" summer anymore.

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:05:32 PM EDT

[#4]

Girl talk is 100 times worse than boy talk. Don't tell anyone I told you that.

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:07:17 PM EDT

[#5]

Just lean out and offer them a "Roofie Colada." <Gigity Gigity Gigity>

*edit* Knew I spelled gigity wrong.

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:07:47 PM EDT

[#6]

PICS! PICS!

It had to be said.

Of the College Girls, not you shooting yourself.

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:08:48 PM EDT

[#7]

shouldn't this be in the religion forum?

that sure would have given me a religious experience

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:10:03 PM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:
Girl talk is 100 times worse than boy talk. Don't tell anyone I told you that.

Truth!

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:10:39 PM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
Girl talk is 100 times worse than boy talk. Don't tell anyone I told you that.

As a man wise in the ways of the world, I know this.

What continually stuns me is just how much SOME women blab about stuff they have no buisness blabbing about. I was fixing a busted PC in an office one day when I heard a faculty member (female) and the departmental secretary discussing vaginal dryness after a hysterectomy.

Their conversation was LOUD.

I REALLY wish the earth had just swallowed me up.

Women are FAR worse about yapping than men are.

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:11:31 PM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:
shouldn't this be in the religion forum?

that sure would have given me a religious experience

You mean the voice of Satan would have compelled you to just wing one of them and get 3 minutes of peace before the cops showed up to arrest you?

Cause I heard that voice too...

Girls seem far less attractive when debating the finer points that define a "shart"....

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:12:53 PM EDT

[#11]

now that I'm in my 30s, the local college girls sound like idiots. I heard them at the beach last week going "Ah Mah GAWD, like, did you seeah that Jeremah's belt didn't mahtch his SHOES? I was at Tiffani's pahrtay, and I was like omigawd, Tiff, look at Jeremayh's belt and shoes, and she was like omigawd, what is up with his belt and shoes...."

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:20:01 PM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
now that I'm in my 30s, the local college girls sound like idiots. I heard them at the beach last week going "Ah Mah GAWD, like, did you seeah that Jeremah's belt didn't mahtch his SHOES? I was at Tiffani's pahrtay, and I was like omigawd, Tiff, look at Jeremayh's belt and shoes, and she was like omigawd, what is up with his belt and shoes...."

Indeed.

I was out at a restaurant the other day, and had the misfortune of sitting in a booth right next to some college girls. One particularly Chatty Cathy (old timers will get that) was going on, so I decided to count the LPMs she was using.

What is an LPM? Likes Per Minute. I was going to count every time she misused the word "like" in a 60 second time period.

47.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, in a 60 second time period, she misused the word "like" 47 times. That means almost once a second she used the word "like".

If I could wave a magic wand and remove one minor annoyance from the earth, misuse of the word "like" would be the thing I would fix.

It's like, totally pissing me off....

Though lately the constant abuse of the word "drama" is beginning to annoy me almost as much.

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:25:43 PM EDT

[#13]

like, who the hell listens to them? at that age they are eye candy. with rare exception <our ladies here> all the ones i deal with are braindead twits.

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:25:48 PM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
Quoted:
now that I'm in my 30s, the local college girls sound like idiots. I heard them at the beach last week going "Ah Mah GAWD, like, did you seeah that Jeremah's belt didn't mahtch his SHOES? I was at Tiffani's pahrtay, and I was like omigawd, Tiff, look at Jeremayh's belt and shoes, and she was like omigawd, what is up with his belt and shoes...."

Indeed.

I was out at a restaurant the other day, and had the misfortune of sitting in a booth right next to some college girls. One particularly Chatty Cathy (old timers will get that) was going on, so I decided to count the LPMs she was using.

What is an LPM? Likes Per Minute. I was going to count every time she misused the word "like" in a 60 second time period.

47.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, in a 60 second time period, she misused the word "like" 47 times. That means almost once a second she used the word "like".

If I could wave a magic wand and remove one minor annoyance from the earth, misuse of the word "like" would be the thing I would fix.

It's like, totally pissing me off....

Though lately the constant abuse of the word "drama" is beginning to annoy me almost as much.

They also add "you know" after like. Like you know, but I was just like you know.

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:28:41 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
They also add "you know" after like. Like you know, but I was just like you know.

And what is worse, they have entire sentences and answers that have NO SUBJECTS in them!

"Like, I was like...you know!!!"

"OhmahGAWSH!!!"

"TOTALLY, I mean...ohmahgawsh....REALLY!!!"

Unfortunately, they write the same way. You should see the abominations they hand in as term papers. Apparently 12 years of primary education has not taught them to articulate a coherent thought.

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:31:11 PM EDT

[#16]

My two favorite weeks of the year on the University of Georgia campus: First week of school in August and the last week of school in May.

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:39:37 PM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
My two favorite weeks of the year on the University of Georgia campus: First week of school in August and the last week of school in May.

The skin shows are a bit excessive this year. Some of these girls look like they would be tragically uncovered if they had not lucked on to a box of pirate eyepatches....

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:41:24 PM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
Quoted:
My two favorite weeks of the year on the University of Georgia campus: First week of school in August and the last week of school in May.

The skin shows are a bit excessive this year. Some of these girls look like they would be tragically uncovered if they had not lucked on to a box of pirate eyepatches....

you say this like it;s a bad thing? i am confused

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:42:04 PM EDT

[#19]

and girls claim to not be gross like guys
I've never, not even on our drunkest nights of bar hopping or house warming parties, have had or over heard a conversation on sharts and turtle heads with my male friends

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:42:59 PM EDT

[#20]

Yeah, if you didn't have to talk to them to get to the good stuff, it would all be worth it.

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:46:38 PM EDT

[#21]

Please provide location for me to Mapquest. I've got a full tank of gas and am willing to travel.

Kharn

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:51:45 PM EDT

[#22]

I need to find out what this beaver dive thing is all about

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:52:29 PM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
Just lean out and offer than a "Roofie Colada." <Gigity Gigity Gigity>
*edit* Knew I spelled gigity wrong.

Don't worry, Meg! You just bought me another 5 minutes!!!

Quagmire is priceless.

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:54:50 PM EDT

[#24]

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:55:09 PM EDT

[#25]

So...er......what was their definition between turtle head and a shart?

If nobody else was gonna ask......

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:56:27 PM EDT

[#26]

I miss college girls. Some of the ones I *knew* did some kinky shit, I tell you.

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:56:58 PM EDT

[#27]

You asked, so here is a shart pic.

Just for you.

Posted: 8/18/2005 4:58:41 PM EDT

[#28]

I have to admit, as wierd as that is, you are a resourceful person.

Posted: 8/18/2005 5:00:02 PM EDT

[#29]

My next job may be an ROTC instructor. I may be living that hell.

Posted: 8/18/2005 5:00:11 PM EDT

[#30]

take pics!

wear plugs

Posted: 8/18/2005 5:00:11 PM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:
You asked, so here is a shart pic.

Just for you.

www.cinemastar.nl/CDs/Film/Shart.jpg

Pretty sure I can live without sharting pics. Would a turtlehead be the same thing as when you're prairie doggin'? And I am guessing that sharting would be pretty much the same as a turd honking to pass....

GT

Posted: 8/18/2005 5:01:32 PM EDT

[#32]

Quoted:
shouldn't this be in the religion forum?

that sure would have given me a religious experience

Yeah, me, too. At least it would be a prayer-inducing experience.

"Dear God...please help her to SHUT UP."

CJ

Posted: 8/18/2005 5:58:00 PM EDT

[#33]

It seems like "Beaver Dive" is a popular flash animation game, according to Google.

Posted: 8/18/2005 6:14:44 PM EDT

[#34]

Female grade school teachers....are the worst..I almost blushed.....

Posted: 8/18/2005 6:18:23 PM EDT

[#35]

Quoted:
. Then, moving to deeper philosophical ground, they had a long debate as to what the exact difference between a "shart" and a "turtle head" was.

You moron, you should have stuck your head out the window and done your best impression of "Fat Bastard" from Austin Powers and said, "ARRRRH, I JUST TOOK A MIGHTY CRRRAPP. IT REALLY STINKS, THINK I JUST SHARTED MY PANTS"

If that didn't make them move on nothing would have.

Posted: 8/18/2005 6:21:06 PM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:
Female grade school teachers....are the worst..I almost blushed.....

If you have ever worked with women in the Transportation Industry you would BLUSH!

Danny

P.S. Every Day, amazes me.

Posted: 8/18/2005 6:21:31 PM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:
Quoted:
. Then, moving to deeper philosophical ground, they had a long debate as to what the exact difference between a "shart" and a "turtle head" was.

You moron, you should have stuck your head out the window and done your best impression of "Fat Bastard" from Austin Powers and said, "ARRRRH, I JUST TOOK A MIGHTY CRRRAPP. IT REALLY STINKS, THINK I JUST SHARTED MY PANTS"

If that didn't make them move on nothing would have.

Yeah and FYI don't walk into the bathroom if they start yakking about BATTLESHITS.

Posted: 8/18/2005 6:22:18 PM EDT

[#38]

Quoted:
It seems like "Beaver Dive" is a popular flash animation game, according to Google.

www.flashgames247.com/game/exclusive-games/beaver-dive.html

Posted: 8/18/2005 6:34:18 PM EDT

[#39]

Hey man, they were'nt talking about their period. Be happy.

I hate being surrounded by a group of girls/women. Makes me crazy. I swear my eardrums are going to explode.

Posted: 8/19/2005 11:22:55 AM EDT

[#40]

Quoted:

Yeah and FYI don't walk into the bathroom if they start yakking about BATTLESHITS.

ROTFLMAO, which movie was that from again?

I know I've seen it, was it Harrold and Kumar goto White Castle?

That was fucking hillarious.

Posted: 8/19/2005 11:32:05 AM EDT

[#41]

Quoted:
Girl talk is 100 times worse than boy talk. Don't tell anyone I told you that.

Shhhh...Don't give away our secrets, Mrs G.

Posted: 8/19/2005 11:40:13 AM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:
Quoted:
My two favorite weeks of the year on the University of Georgia campus: First week of school in August and the last week of school in May.

The skin shows are a bit excessive this year. Some of these girls look like they would be tragically uncovered if they had not lucked on to a box of pirate eyepatches....

Wow, you sure are old.

Posted: 8/19/2005 11:41:45 AM EDT

[#43]

Quoted:
Quoted:
It seems like "Beaver Dive" is a popular flash animation game, according to Google.

www.flashgames247.com/game/exclusive-games/beaver-dive.html

That's kinda dumb.

Posted: 8/19/2005 11:45:39 AM EDT

[#44]

I have three working for me now. One is a 43 y/o troll with a two-year old. She also has a sixteen and fourteen year old...all boys. Hubby is a cop. Small town...she knows EVERYTHING going on and we hear about it! Number two is a hot 32 year old who has ditched two hubbys already. Very bright, sort of biker chick under her facade of genteelness. Number three is a 28 year old, college educated ditz. Very smart...but totally incapable of making a wise choice about men. Nothing but total losers. Now she's engaged to a bone head nine years her senior with the brains of a snail and the financial acumen of a sailor on liberty. His ex is badgering him constantly, the IRS is hot on his tail because he ain't paid a lick of taxes since 2002 and half his family is REAL well known to the local sheriff.

We are in a secure vault all day. They talk incessantly unless we are turning and burning doing research and program support. During the "quiet" times, the chat level is unfargin'believable!

They are either on the phone jacking their jaws or heavily engrossed in conversations with each other...and sometimes I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THE SUBJECT MATTER!!!

I can't BELIEVE some of the shit that wimmins talk about...and POTTY MOUTHS TOO!!!

Posted: 8/19/2005 11:46:57 AM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
Guys tell me all the time how "lucky" I am to work on a campus surrounded by literally tens of thousands of young women in the peak of their beauty. I say that the fantasy of those guys is far superior to the reality I live day to day.

Gak.

Post pics, then WE'LL decide.

Posted: 8/19/2005 11:47:43 AM EDT

[#46]

That doesn't sound so bad.................. just draw the line when they start talking about girth.......

Posted: 8/19/2005 12:17:51 PM EDT

[#47]

Quoted:
Quoted:
My two favorite weeks of the year on the University of Georgia campus: First week of school in August and the last week of school in May.

The skin shows are a bit excessive this year. Some of these girls look like they would be tragically uncovered if they had not lucked on to a box of pirate eyepatches....

Dude, there is NO such thing...especially with college chickies. Hell, it would even be better if they just walked around nekkid

And as far as what they talk about, IMO, if they have their thighs pressed against your ears, you won't hear them.....

Mmmm, sorority skanks...I do miss college....sorority chicks at a mixer...lots of fun. It was good to be in a fraternity!

Posted: 8/19/2005 12:23:14 PM EDT

[#48]

Quoted:
Quoted:
They also add "you know" after like. Like you know, but I was just like you know.

And what is worse, they have entire sentences and answers that have NO SUBJECTS in them!

"Like, I was like...you know!!!"

"OhmahGAWSH!!!"

"TOTALLY, I mean...ohmahgawsh....REALLY!!!"

Unfortunately, they write the same way. You should see the abominations they hand in as term papers. Apparently 12 years of primary education has not taught them to articulate a coherent thought.

"Like, I was like...you know!!!"

I is the subject, and was is the verb. I don't know how to classify the rest of the gibberish.

I was is tied with others as the second shortest sentance in the english language. The shortest being: I am.

Posted: 8/19/2005 12:37:41 PM EDT

[#49]

Teenage or early 20's girls talking is like driving nails into my brain. I have to leave the room just to make it stop if any gather in my area. Admire from a distance.... hell yes. Listen to them for more than 30 seconds..... hell no.

Posted: 8/19/2005 1:08:00 PM EDT

[#50]

I live in a popular beach area that is visited by folks from town as well as folks from out of town. I used hate it until I went proactive. Now I take walks on the beach and let my eyes rome were they will. I find it amazing how few clothes they wear. It's like. oh my god.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Lord save me from the affliction of college girls... (Page 1 of 2)

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