A major  research institution has just announced the discovery of the  heaviest  element yet known to science. The new element has been named Governmentium.

Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant  neutrons,  75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving  it an atomic mass of 311.

These 311 particles are held together  by forces  called morons, which are  surrounded by vast quantities of  lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.  However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of  Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a  reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each  reorganization will cause more  morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that  Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred  to as "Critical Morass."

When catalyzed with moneyum, Governmentium becomes  Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has half as many peons but  twice as many morons.

I would be laughing if there was a little less truth in all of that...

I heard they are disarming Pistol Pete.

An Element that dense might IMPLODE!!   Too much mass in one spot.    

Quoted: I heard they are disarming Pistol Pete.

Make a bomb out of that stuff... it will be so inefficient it probably will get stuck in the bomb bay.

I call !  An element must contain proton(s).  Governmentium is actually a highly dense and complicated form of Neutronuim, commonly referred to as Opression, since it is so heavy.

Anyone run this by Snopes yet?

IS THE SKY FALLING!?

oh,

nevermind.

Quoted: Anyone run this by Snopes yet?

WTF??

Quoted:

+1 OMFG...the humor detectors are failing.

Quoted: I would be laughing if there was a little less truth in all of that...

Sad but true