We just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary this year, before we got married I was very frank and told her that if I wanted something, earned extra money, or sold something, I was going to buy it. I do not spend out of the budget, I keep the same amount out each week normally and just spend it on different stuff, the rest goes into the bank, investments, and the like.
It has worked out very well with no fighting, arguing, or whatever about money, and when she dumps 200 bucks or whatever on woman stuff I just shut my mouth because it makes her happy also. She needs to be fair with you, she does not control the pursestrings and neither do you. You both do and she needs to understand that guys like toys, they WILL buy them one way or the other, and you will resent her in the end if she plays the money control game. I bought truck after truck for about 6 years, using one to buy the next, I never lost a DIME and actually made a couple of grand in the end, all the while staying out of the bars and having an enjoyable time. Soon enough the kids'll come and you both will have no choice for a while so tell her to loosen up a bit and enjoy life.