WARNING: If you think that this will be even half as entertaining as "Fish in the ass" press the "Back" button NOW! This is kind of a depressing story, but has information that should re-enforce what you already know.
Gather around boys and girls for the second edition of "Ambulance Tales". Today, this story is a cautionary tale that is more educational than entertaining. This applies to everyone because one day we will all check-out to the "Great Big AR15.com in the Sky": the place where all the threads are BOTD, black rifles are all legal/pre-pre-ban (even in PRK), and whenever you post a vid, nobody ever calls "dupe". Yes, we are all going to have to die someday. Some of us will go out in service to our country and to them, they have my eternal gratitude. Some will go suddenly due to heart attack, aneurisms, or trauma. But most of us will slowly decay in "skilled nursing facilities" waiting for the day when our hearts stop beating or when someone we thought was close to us decides that you have suffered in an undignified position a few years to long and don't want the financial burden anymore.
In case you were not around for the last edition of "Ambulance Tales", allow me to introduce myself. I am a glorified taxi driver, also known as an EMT. I call myself a "glorified taxi driver" because most of the time all I do is ferry people from place-to-place, once in a great while stuffing something up thier noses or down thier throats. Every once in greater while, when I'm not sitting in a parking, lot leaching off wireless internet hot spots while downloading porn to my laptop, I have something interesting happen to me. This is one of those stories.
A long, long time ago, when I was still in employment training, I had a strange series of calls involving the same person. It was an unseasonably warm day when we arrived at a Skilled Nursing Facility (SNF). We were taking an old lady to the hospital because she had contracted pneumonia. No big deal. She was in no immediate danger, but she did need medical attention that is only available at hospitals. I took my time and went through her paper work. In getting the report from the nurse, among other things, I got her "code" status.
A "code status" is the level of care a patient would like to recieve. If a patient is "Full Code", they want every possible type of care to prolong thier life. Give them drugs, chest compressions, artificial respiration, the whole nine yards. If they are "No Code" and you have the document, you cannot legally administer care to them because they want to die. There is "full code", "no code" and everything in between.
Anyway, back to the story. This ladies code status was "Full code", which was fine. I drove her to the hospital without anything happening. No big deal. Later that afternoon, she was treated and discharged back to the SNF. At the hospital, my training officer spoke with the daughter of the patient who informed us that she had "power of attourney". She showed the papers showing power of attourney and told us that she did not want her mother to be recucitated: "no code". Fine, she is up in years and is not alert/oriented and has multiple degenerative desieses. It is normal for family members to change code status. Just like the ride over, nothing happened and all I did was take vitals. So far, nothing out of the ordinary happened.... At around 3 a.m. we got a call to the same SNF. When we got there, it was the SAME DAMN LADY. She was barely breathing and her daughter was standing there telling us to get her to the ER. This is the same daughter mind you that told us that she wanted her mother to not be recucitated! She changed her mind when she saw her mom dying. Well, this woman was in bad shape, we took her to the hospital lights/sirens, using the bag valve mask (BVM) to give her artificial respirations. Her vitals were not good and I thought for sure she would die on us. But we passed her off to the ER and went away shaking our heads. That was the last day I worked for the cycle and I had the next four days off. When I got back the next week, we got a discharge order and when we get to the room, we found out that the poor lady pulled through and was alive (if you can call it that). In going through her discharge papers, I found that she was once again "no code". Her daughter came back once again and changed her status the day before.
The lesson boys and girls is this. In case you didn't learn from Terry Schiavo, know what the hell you want done to you in the case you become incapacitated. Not only that, FUCKING WRITE IT DOWN GODDAMNIT!!! Make it legal too. I am not trying to criticize the daughter or pass judgement on anyone. Everyone is entitled to thier beliefs, but for Christ sake, when you make a decision and stick to it. Changing back and forth only screws the patient. For the record, if any of you see mr. sewer_urchin in a decrepid state, where he is unable to bath himself, feed himself or use the bathroom on his own PLEASE!!! I IMPLORE YOU FOR THE LOVE OF HUMANITY PULL THE DAMN PLUG! Now go back to your seats and be good. Stay tuned next month for another edition (if I feel like it).