Mods be ready to edit my post because my language may get out of hand.

First of let me say I'm sitting here drinking Budwieser even though I haven't drank anything in 10 years, I guess that's why I'm about to vent some frustration.

Is anyone else out there getting buried alive by child support?

I love my children but it seems as though they are becoming nothing more than a huge bill I can't afford to pay.  I was making $20 an hour before my employer of 30 years went belly up. I know a lot of you guy make much more but I was living modestly well as I didn't feel the need to live the life of Riley. At that I was paying $900 a month child support.  Leaving me enough to live on but not enough to have a life if you know what I mean.

My present job I make $17 and hour, they take the same amount out of my paycheck, almost half of it. I call them, I write them telling them the support needs to be lowered.  They have drug their feet and done nothing.  But they don't drag their feet when it comes to mailing me letters about back child support I owe from when I was unemployed. Yeah excuse me I was unemployed, but no one is supposed to take it in the ass but me.  But if I made more money my child support would sure as hell get raised.  Is it just me?  Not to mention the fact that the ex's boyfriend lives under the roof I'm being made to pay for.  I would think if nothing else he's a renter which means added income for her, a reason to lower the support.

I'm going to rant on women and the system now.  Yes she may not have much more money extra to have a life as I put it.  But the fact of the matter is how many women pay for much of anything when they go out?  Not many.  That's one of my bitches, she can go out, the guy's more than likely going to pay, that's the way it goes.  But me being a guy I can't hardly afford to pay for myself let alone show a woman a good time.  I just ain't fair.

Child support is based on how successful you are not on what it takes to raise a child.  My children have two parents but only one of them is responsible for financially supporting them only because one of the parents never cared to make anything of themselves and never acquired any skills which would pay a decent pay rate.  While the other one (me) worked to better himself and make decent money to support the family because he wasn't getting any help from the other half. It would have been nice as a child if I would have automatically deserves a certain percentage of my parents income.

Men like my father who wouldn't pay the paltry amount of support he was supposed to pay put the screws to us guys now.

Fuck child support, Fuck the lady at child support that has the sign behind her desk which reads  "Dead beat dads are criminals too".  Fuck the ex that in the guise of hiding behind the children is still riding my financial back.

I need another Bud.

While I'm drinking this one you guys can flame away and philosophy on why I shouldn't be a bitter SOB like I am.

And the damn spell check isn't working so if I misspelled something screw it.

hey u forgot vagina money err palmoney (sorry i cant spell)

Been there, done it!....the way it is, here are your options:.....get a real good lawyer to change things..........get out of dodge altogether......live with it and keep the bud`s cold.....facts are...the courts rule for the woman...even though you both are equally responsible....of course you love your kids, and the sad part is they see very little of the cash you fork out....hang in there....having been in it i will tell you this....time has it`s way of healing, and in a way you will never forsee.....trust me...one more thing and don`t forget....guilt is a useless emotion...don`t ever use it.........

I agree guilt is useless when applied to people that feel no remorse for the things they do.  Such as criminals and ex wives.

I'll admit I say things to the children sometimes that I often wish I had not said. It's just damn hard not to when things are getting shoved so far up your ass you can't breath.  Most guys in my situation are young and have a chance to recover from what the system is doing to them.  I'm almost 50 and will be almost retired or dead by the time their through with me. I don't want to go back on Prozac (and please no snide remarks about drugs and guns) and as far as lawyers are concerned, from what I've seen it it's just a trade off.  You end up paying the lawyer about the same amount as you save only none of it goes to your children instead it goes in the lawyer's pocket.

Oh, I've failed to mention the extra $100 a month orthodontist bill and the $100 a month bill for back child support they are hitting me with which is driving me to drink.  $1100 dollars a month, Hell, I don't think Jesse Jackson is paying that much.

And we aren't even considering I see my children every weekend, feeding them, sure as hell ain't entertaining them, I cannot afford it.  And I think last Christmas will be the last time Santa Clause pays a visit to my house.

Equity? Where is the BLOODY equity.
Your married with two children. Your company
decides to "slim down." You go on unemployment.
You, your wife and children have to live on less
money until you find another job. You search and search and after a while you find a job
making less money. You take the job because it
pays more than unemployment; but you have less
money to live on so you and your wife and children have to cut expenses.
NOW SOMEBODY TELL ME WHY THE EXWIFE AND KIDS
ARE SO BLOODY SPECIAL THEY DON'T HAVE TO LIVE BY THE SAME RULES!!!!!!!!

Do this:

1- Ask the kids if they are abused by any of them, maybe you can have them back and she will pay you monney.

2- Find out if ALL the monney you send are for the kids or if SHE is spanding for herself.

3- Ask the judge to allow you to set an escrow account for the kins only and have the right to check how the monney are spent.

Look on the net to find support groups to help you out.

Depending on how old the kids are, Get some "things" from the site below, start over, with the kids.  Just an option.

[url]http://www.photoidcards.com/[/url]

Or continue doing the responsible thing and support YOUR kids.  Just get a lawyer to screw the situation up,...uhh, straighten things out some.

The job I have now, although it pays less, they pay me fairly for what I do.  It's a good place with a lot of good people compared to my last job.  I had to quit it and in a week I start working for another company making more money. I really would have preferred staying where I'm at, it's a day job and the new one is second shift.  This new job will be more hassles and a lot more stress and grey hair for me but I have no choice if I want to keep a roof over my head.

I tried to talk to the ex a few weeks ago about joint custody.  The answer was a flat no.  Before my situation was I worked second shift and it was out of the question.  Now the major stumbling block seems to be besides the ex needing the money to live the way she is, is also my 13 year old daughter who realizes that if her mommy is forced to live on her own merits and income she will loose everything she took from me.  Her head is so far up her mommy's ass, well, I won't go into that. My daughter doesn't see how hard things are for me because I find a way to make ends meet. The sad thing is most guys in my situation are younger than I and have moved back home with their parents because they cannot afford to live on their own.

And HANGFIRE and any others that that think it isn't fair, as my lawyer told me during the divorce, forget fairness (equity) she has the right to live in the manner in which she was accustomed. I don't have that right but she does.

Hey fuck the beer, quit feeling sorry for your self, get a good nasty female lawyer and sue her dumb ass for custody of the kids you say you love.

Try this one, I'm in a fight right now just to see my only son and I have primary physical custody. I have him during the school year and she gets him during the summer. It's along story that I'm in no mood to repeat here. Even though I have him 81 percent of the time she has never helped me financially. Go to a Government guide and look up family code in the state she resides in and check under "custody" and "visitation". She lives in Texas and by their law, a child over 10 can pick his parent to live with. She does not know I know this. So,when he gets here next Saturday, I don't think he will want to go back. It's up to him and I'll leave it up to him. It's been 3 years since I've seen him. I use to print law books and found that several states have laws similar to Texas. E-mail me if I can offer assistance.
Do not drink out of frustration, it only hurts your cause. Play the cards you are dealt, but play them better than her.
                -Trigger

I had a bitch who was ILLEGALY (sp) collecting welfare while I was paying childsupport.  Not only was nothing done to her but Texas said I had to repay the FULL amount.  FUCKING BITCH [:(!]

more reasons im glad i decided not to have any kids

I think I'm just going to get cut.

Aside from that, I often wonder how things deteriorate so in a romance that it comes to this.  How does it go from love and romance and let's have kids to divorce and screw over the former love of your life for as much as you can get?  

I know it's a rather person question, but what happened?  Was the marrage a foolish shortsighted decision made in one's impertenant youth?  Or did something happen that caused the partnership to fail?

Man BD...I do feel for ya.

Me (we) I guess I should say are on the other side of the fence.  My wife has the kid and she has the Ex who pays child support.

It is kept outta his check each week and sent to my wife on a monthly basis.  Aside from that all her ex pays is $30/mo medical ins. (not near half actual cost) and occasionally 1/2 medical bills when he feels like it.

This is all fine but this jerk has it easy.  In fact he does a crafty little manuver on his income.  He works for himself but has his new wife set up as the owner of the company.  Thus, he is technically only a paid employee and his wife gets all the $.  This keeps his child support requirements down as increases in income must be beyond a certain percentage of last reported income for a change to be approved.  

Once, as a legal manuver designed to fend off his outlandish request for more visitation, my wife sought more child support.  It was discoverd that his net adj. income was only around $26k yet he lives in a brand new 150k home, drives a new vehicle, races cars and trucks, takes trips etc etc.  So............

Dacon:  Your item number 1 is a big BIG  NO NO.

You open up an entire can of worms when you ask your kids that.  Besides, any parent worth his/her salt knows whether or not their kid is being abused in most cases.

Case in point:  I spanked my step-son about 4 mos. ago.  He needed and highly deserved it.  Any parent woulda done the same but I made a mistake.  I spanked his bare naked butt with my big old chunk of a hand........Know what?  It left red and blue welts on his bottom.  (Who amoung us ever had those before?)

Know what else?.........he told his dad 3 weeks ago and his dad has now accused me of child abuse and threatens a custody hearing.  I even had to go before human services and all that.

In my case they agreed that there was no indication of abuse and that I should only refrain from disciplining the kid by means of a spanking.  Good enough. But, it was pure hell as my wife became convinced by her ex that the only way she would ever get her son back was if she and I divorced.  Heck, I even filed for a divorce before I could get the appropriate legal advice and an opinion from human Services.

I would never suggest going the abuse route to anyone.  If most kids are like my step-son, and I think that they are in cases of divorce, step-parents etc etc, then they will tell mixtures of truth embellished with good doses of overactive imaginations.  This will never lead to any good end.  

It nearly tore my family apart.  In fact, my wife and I agreed that none of this would ever have been cause for a divorce between a man and woman who had a child together.........maybe a heated discussion/argument at best.  If you are a step-parent who actually is fortunate enough to have a good relationship with your step-kid then this can kill it all.

Hang in there BD.............take her back to court.  Seek a modification based on her needs and/or your changed income (wink wink).

You are one of the few that actually does support his kids.  Fact is though that the system is so "not used" to seeing guys like you that it is designed only to screw folks to death and not for normal consideration that should be given to all individuals trying to do what is right.

Hang in there man.

X--Kill

I am the type that when atacked I go for the throught no matter on who. If i can not win then I will take down all around me.

I guess I came from a different background. Where I came from the man works how every many jobs he needed to take care of the family. He did not walk out on the marriage and children no matter what.

I don't care if you have to eat dog food to support your children. Be a man and get it done.

Also get the boyfriend out of the house. Your slutty wife is an unfit mother also, I think you two make the perfect couple.

Strong words coming from a man that does not know all of the circumstances. Hineline while we are on the subject if you have not done so yet please don't breed and if you have please refrain from doing it again. The planet is already well above our quotient of pompous, arrogant, self rightous egoist like yourself.
Oh and by the way don't get all pissed and show me the picture of yourself wearing the shoulder rig with your double chin exposed. It doesn't impress me.

Hineline, did it ever occur to you that a woman can walk out?  What do you do about that?  How do you suggest he removes the boyfriend without going to jail in the process?  How do you support your children from prison?

Dacon, you are right on the money.  This is war and there is no such thing as a fair fight.  Destroy your enemies completely.
Bootedaddy, have nasty women call the boyfriend in the middle of the night asking for sex.  Hopefully your ex will answer.  Get druggies to refer to their house as a supply house and tell the police about it.  Start nasty rumors.  Use the poison pen.  Give anonymous tips to child protective services.  The list is endless.  Make sure you always act very nice when there are witnesses.

Gunslinger thats Mr. Double-Chin to the likes of you.

Have you no life other than to remember some picture I posted years ago on some long lost site.

Here is a new picture showing my matching fat belly to go with my double chin.

I know the only thing that impresses you is some father who won't take care of his children. That and Bill Clinton's sexual escapades.  When you become the moral majority of the world I fear all is lost.

[img]http://www.mindspring.com/~uziforme/davidm_1.jpg[/img]

For your information the cunt went behind my back to a lawyer, and then walked out on me.  In her words, "I just ain't happy anymore".  Which translates into, "I have a boyfriend and I'm leaving".  They don't need a reason for divorce anymore it's just enough to say we're incompatible.

I also don't remember saying I didn't want to support my children.  And don't worry about working extra jobs, they sent me papers saying if I didn't start paying on the $1600 I'm behind on they may just make me get a second job.  I have friends that after paying child support and then have gotten custody or joint custody say it doesn't cost anything near to raise a child as compared to what they were expected to pay.  

If it costs so much to raise a child then why aren't all father's paying the same when paying for the same number of children?

Women fought for and now have equal rights.  But very few of them have or want equal responsibility.  And backed by the courts they are treated like they are not capable of being equal to a man when it comes to earning money.

I believe any woman can earn as much as a man if she wants to.  No not working on a loading dock lifting freight, but using her brain.  Am I to teach my daughter she'll never be shit because she isn't a man?  Or teach her she can financially achieve anything she wants if she uses the assets God gave her, namely her brain.

It isn't in my ex's best interest to better herself and learn to do anything other than answer a phone for $9 an hour because it would be harder and it's much easier to skate having a easy job and collect easy money from me.

I've surfed the net, found support groups, I talked to a guy that was a consoler.  And guess what they are all a bunch of bitter motherf--kers also.  The consoler I talked to seemed to be more bitter and bitched about his ex more than I do.

I just think the system is screwed and they have driven a lot of father's out of their children's lives.  And then they wonder why there is a decline in family values here in America.

It's morning now the Bud's wore off and accomplished nothing.  I doubt I do that again, I was just curious to see if it would take the edge off, it didn't.

                          The answer to your question is basically the same as what men know about women........I am now going to tell you what men know about women.......ready?                                     .                                               .                                               .                                               .                                               .                                               .                                               .                                               .                                               .                                               .                                               .                                               .                                               .                                               .                                               .                                               .                                               .                                               .........got it?.....[>(]

                    If the woman decides it`s time to move on.....guess what...there aint nothing your gonna do to change it.....as far as taking care of the kids, personally, i did it better WITHOUT her to interfere.......being divorced does NOT mean you`re not taking care of them!!!!!!!#1 priority in my book....they can live with me as long as they need to!!!!!!!!!

          Got news for ya.....I was 46 when her lawyer served his papers....so you`re not alone there either!.....work OT, get a second job, go in debt, do what you got to to keep it going.....I did, and I`m slowly working my way out of it....actually, the shoe is kind of on the other foot as far as the ex...and it looks like maybe she`s beginning to regret not trying harder to work our problems out.....anyhow...life goes on and you WILL deal with it!!!!!!!!!good luck....stay strong!!!!!!!!

Got another side of the story to tell.  Married a woman w/ two elementary school aged kids in 1982. At the time the girls hadn't seen their natural father in over a year, and he hadn't paid any support in a year and a half.  Raised the two girls like they were my own; right thru college.  Never made any distinction between them and my two adult sons from my first marriage.  In fact I had them listed as equal beneficiares on my insurance and legatees in my will. Two months before the younger one graduated college, mama decided she didn't need a man around any more, dumped me, took the house I had bought for her and the girls, and saw to it that the girls "decided" they didn't need to have contact w/me any more. Oh yeah, she did "do the right thing" and give me back the down payment I'd put up for the house 10 years earlier. Course, I didn't see any of the $25K the house had appreciated in the 10 years.

In spite of it all, I'm really grateful to her. Why? Because 4 years later, I met the really great lady I'm now married to, and we have a truly beautiful 4 year old son who is the joy of my life.  The only thing I miss about the earlier marriage is the 100 yard rifle range I had in the back yard of the land behind the house.  Oh yeah, talked w/a buddy a couple of months ago who had run into her at a local restaurant.  He told me she looked old and wrinkled far beyond her years, and congratulated me for not having to look at her in the morning any more.
The bottom line? To hell with the money! Happy is better!

Bootedaddy, I hear ya, bro, I'm with you 110%

<>>

GI Brat, I did the same thing, except it's not a "simple" solution. It's f***ing expensive! But worth it. I didn't get quite as good a deal as you got. Got the kids, but had to fork over
5K in ransom, and no support from her til she made more that 30K a year, which will happen about the time the next Big Bang rolls around.

The system sucks. You need to find yourself a young hungry shark to tear into the bitch's ass....someone who won't charge you what a mature Great White will, but who has a hell of a bite nevertheless...One of our presidents, I forget which one, but think it was Jefferson, once said "millions for defense, not a penny for tribute" in response to demands for ransom from the Barbary Coast pirates....adopt that attitude in divorce.....
Good Luck