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Posted: 8/2/2005 9:49:49 AM EDT
get a call from my daughter today. she is 15 and lives in a VERY small rural area.
seems the State of Alabama has invited her to join the student ambassador program and has asked if she would be willing to go to china for a year. Why i don't know, she's a good kid but frankly not a great student and her best hope in life will be to marry well  . Mom tells her she is 100% for letting her go but only if i agree. She knows damn well i won't sign off on it.... <ARUBA ring a bell>. No way i am sending my kid out of coutry to a KNOWN hostile area while we are at war. so i get to be the bad guy again. Oh well, at least i won't be wondering about a missing child. sorry for the rant but i hate that bitch. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 9:51:27 AM EDT
[#1]
you should let her go
unless you think she'll be hanging out at carlos & charlies and banging Dutch dudes. edit: I spent a month in China when I was 18....and this was back when they used to squash protestors w/ tanks. (the summer before actually) |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 9:52:07 AM EDT
[#2]
I have been there and there's no fucking way I would let a 15 yr old girl go. I went as a Canadian. We are much less hated, particularly by communist countries it seems. No fucking way would I send her, especially as an American. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 9:53:48 AM EDT
[#3]
+1, sign off and be the GOOD guy. Let her spread her wings. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 9:55:13 AM EDT
[#4]
Sorry for your problems with your ex.
In another post I mentioned I worked in China. I don't think your daughter would want to stay once there. It's very safe, especially for westerners. I think the food would drive her home. I almost starved the whole time I was there. However, H/S age seems kinda young to go on a trip like that. Maybe turn it around on your ex and have a private conversation with sounding enthusiastic about it? |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 9:55:20 AM EDT
[#5]
she's a good kid but basically, blonde, cute and dumb as a post when it comes to street smarts. i love her to death but the reality is she'd walk right into a lions den and never notice where she was.
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Posted: 8/2/2005 9:55:55 AM EDT
[#6]
A YEAR in China?!?!?
NFW. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 9:55:57 AM EDT
[#7]
Holy crap, it sounds like Kim Bauer on 24. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 9:56:06 AM EDT
[#8]
I've been to China 3x (once as a teen) and I NEVER experienced ANY anti-American sentiment. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 9:57:06 AM EDT
[#9]
Well, it must be ok then. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 9:57:16 AM EDT
[#10]
PS - Don't let all the saber rattling get to yah..We're not going to war with China. You know how many American companies are over there? Sorry SHTF zombie lovers it's not gonna happen.
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Posted: 8/2/2005 9:58:59 AM EDT
[#11]
Yes, it is. Thank you for agreeing. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 9:59:28 AM EDT
[#12]
I've been in China twice, it's no Aruba and quite safe. Let her go.
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Posted: 8/2/2005 9:59:45 AM EDT
[#13]
She is not going to China for spring break.
She is going as part of a delegation of students from the United States as asked by her state.
That is a pretty fucked up thing to say about your kid considering she is being honored by the state. 
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:00:23 AM EDT
[#14]
A year is an awful long time for a girl of that age.
Still, I'd let her go. It's probably safer than my commute to the office. Besides, after having a baked steak at the Bejing Hard Rock Cafe, she might have a greater appreciation for the Last Best Place On Earth. In the end, do what you think is best for the safety and personal growth of your child...and don't fight with the ex about it in front of the kid. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:01:10 AM EDT
[#15]
Will she be with other Americans or with a Chinese family?
Will she bring me back a new Polytech? |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:02:25 AM EDT
[#16]
Coming from someone you know and I have a small boy of my own. Don't do it. Be the bad guy. We as parents have great instincts when it comes to things like this.
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:03:15 AM EDT
[#17]
That was sarcasm. Sorry, I thought that was obvious (actually, it was obvious but never mind). My point is a few successful trips abroad doesn't make a place safe. Just like me not being in traffic accidents doesn't make driving safe. There are places where chances of an accident are higher even though I have avoided accidents in those places. I'm sure it varies depending on timing. I think it would have been especially awkward after the Belgrade embassy bombing for example. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:03:44 AM EDT
[#18]
it's not that much of an honor. every kid in the class got the same form letter. it's not a fucked up thing to say, it's the truth. she is not ready mentally for such a trip and mom knows it. The reality is she likes to party and play and her head is not on her schoolwork. Reality isn't always pretty. The fact that i can see this doesn't have any bearing on the fact i'd die to protect her. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:04:07 AM EDT
[#19]
Oooh, good point group buy on mags!  
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:04:11 AM EDT
[#20]
When I was 15 I went to Japan as an exchange student for 2 weeks.
Best experience of my life....you should let her go...she may never get this opportunity again. My experience in Japan made me realize how good we have it here in the USA. I imagine it would open here eyes to how well she has it here also. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:06:15 AM EDT
[#21]
Although the politics are different and we may not agree to what they believe in politically, I would not let her miss the chance of a lifetime to go.
A couple of people at work spent 9 months over in china and thought the people treated them great, and they still yap about it a lot Let her go |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:06:39 AM EDT
[#22]
you made it sound as if American visitors are regularly (even occaisonally) targeted for attack. Is this the case? If so, I've never heard of it. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:06:54 AM EDT
[#23]
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:07:19 AM EDT
[#24]
if it was a few months i'd be more inclined to do it. a year is out of the question. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:07:46 AM EDT
[#25]
Father knows best. China is no Aruba, but it's no place for a naive teenager either. If she were going for a month you could probably count on regular supervision, but a year? |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:08:25 AM EDT
[#26]
Oops, sorry. I withdraw my comments, then. I figured that she was specifically selected. I'm not sure how up-and-up a program is that is trolling for participants. Sounds like you had the correct instincts to being with. This is just another example of the fact that I would make a shitty parent.
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:08:59 AM EDT
[#27]
are you nuts?? And Beerslayer, that happens more than you think. Sgat1r5 |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:09:27 AM EDT
[#28]
It's worth noting that your daughter would learn Chinese if she spent a year there....even if she was a dumb as a rock.
Perhaps this is her big break. Americans w/ Asian language skills are in very high demand. You wouldn't have to stake her future on marrying the right man. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:09:51 AM EDT
[#29]
More likely the target of crime. Blond American = $$$. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:10:55 AM EDT
[#30]
You know her better than any of us, you know if she can handle it or not.
It would be easy for me to say yes or no, but she is not my daughter. Whatever you decided I am sure it will be the right choice. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:13:17 AM EDT
[#31]
...and that's EXACTLY why she wouldn't be going if she were my daughter....DOUBLE NFW! HH |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:13:48 AM EDT
[#32]
I agree with yeah TBS china is not a place to send your child with out her parents for a year. And who knows the future of chinese and USA relations a year down the road.
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:16:34 AM EDT
[#33]
Chloe? 
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:16:36 AM EDT
[#34]
My sister was a foreign exchange student in the Far East. No way I'd let her go. No way in Hell.
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:17:05 AM EDT
[#35]
Heck!! You could send her to Oakland and she'll learn how to deal crack in 6 months!!! But that doesn't mean it's a good idea! She is 15!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sgatr15 |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:20:28 AM EDT
[#36]
I'm going to up my post count with a +1 to this one. We can all say and think what we will, but daddy knows best! You've been set up The_Beer_Slayer. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:21:21 AM EDT
[#37]
Don't forget Bird Flu
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:22:31 AM EDT
[#38]
I have visited China twice in the last 5 years and intend on going back. I felt safer there than I do in just about any city here in the states.
That being said, what is up with a 1 year trip for a 15 yo? That seems a bit much. I would have no problem letting my daughters go on an exchange student type trip of a shorter duration, but 1 year seems a bit much for a 15 yo. I would have to seriously think about that. I had friends that did 1 year exchange trips in college, but I never heard of one like that for HS kids. Not saying it doesn't exist, because obviously it does. Let's say you were OK with her taking this trip, would she be able to terminate her participation and return home early if she so desired? I think that would have to be an option before I would even consider it. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:22:32 AM EDT
[#39]
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:23:50 AM EDT
[#40]
Fathers doe know best, Aruba was suppose to be a pretty safe place. Why would any parent want their kid away for a year is beyond me anyway. The_Beer_Slayer you might have to be the heavy this time but over all its usually the heavy they respect and appreciate the most when older. Good job Dad. Patty |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:24:13 AM EDT
[#41]
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:25:23 AM EDT
[#42]
No way would I let one of my daughters go to China for a year!!! She's 15  No, no, no, a thousand times, no. Anything she'll "learn" now, she can learn when she is 23, after graduation, with BA in Chinese history and can deal with it as an adult. At 15, let Alabama send their own d@mn "ambassadors", not my daughter. I will not send my flesh and blood on some trip cooked up by some politicians and business dudes to promote "good international relations" so some factory can get moved here or there. Your right to say not just no but hell no. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:27:12 AM EDT
[#43]
I have been to China. It is filthy, polluted and crowded as hell. By American standards of living, it is also damn primitive in most areas. Admittedly, it is also pretty safe. I never felt threatened. That said, I was NOT a young female teen.
It is most definitely NOT the United States. She would not be protected by our Constitution. A Stranger in a Strange Land... No way my kids are ever going there or any other venue like that for an entire year. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:30:24 AM EDT
[#44]
I'd let her go.
Things can happen to your daughter anywhere. Put her in Gods hands and let her experience this. Or... You will leave her with a lot of "what if's" when she later talks to people that did go. Many good things could come from this. I'm not happy that my 20 year old is heading to Iraq either but it was his decision. It doesn't get any easier for a parent as they get older. GM |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:32:00 AM EDT
[#45]
Aww, cut her some slack, Slayer, most of us were complete fuckups at 15.
I'm going to have to lean toward the side of "you should let her go". This is an incredible opportunity for her and could open doors for her to careers and business opportunities. What if your slightly-slacker 15 year old daughter finds that her life calling is in the Foreign Service? State Department? Think about the kids in her little rural area who will never leave that State. You want to deny her the opportunity to grow, mature, and experience a different culture in a way that might lead to a completely different life with bountiful opportunities? Let her go... Jim |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:32:12 AM EDT
[#46]
It would open her eyes up like nothing else ever would. I wish they could send every kid out of the country for a year.
You are the one best suited to make the call, because there is much to risk. The Chinese would be sure to "educate" her on their world perspective. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:33:35 AM EDT
[#47]
A year is way too long. Maybe a week with her full class and constant supervision. I don't even have kids, but If I did, there is no way in hell. She is only frickin 15 years old. I agree with you Beer Slayer.
Don't worry about being the bad guy. Its better than having something bad happen to your daughter. When she gets older, she will realize that you were making this decision because you cared about her. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:33:42 AM EDT
[#48]
A) Sad fact is LOTS of people in the world HATE Americans currently.
B) Threats of nuclear action against the United States by China if we "intervene" with any Taiwan conflict. C) China WILL be one of our biggest enemies in the near future. D) Why would you send your nubile 15 year old child to a communist haven of a country? E) 1 year away from family from family supervision? Nope. Need I go on? |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:37:08 AM EDT
[#49]
DUDE, let her go!
Seeing how supportive you are saying that the best chance for your kid is that she marries well.....I would say your an idiot for holding her back. |
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Posted: 8/2/2005 10:37:20 AM EDT
[#50]
Why don't we send your ex-wife on a trip instead, say, to Turkey, with a little columbian marching powder stashed in her luggage .... |
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