You guys remember the thread about my 950 jetfire and the LEO.  That was bad enough but when I was in college I had this real crush on this girl named Heidi.  So after weeks of planning,  I get up the nerve to ask her out.   I get all dressed up and take her to a nice place to eat.  I was so nervous I didnt even remember what I ate.  So after dinner I get out to the car and the car is covered in condoms.  I mean condoms on the antenna, on the wipers, everywhere.   On her side there were campus pamplets on sexual assault/date rape and emergency numbers to call taped to her window.

Was I pissed! It didnt take me long to figure out it was my dormmates that did it.  They followed us to the resturant and did the deed while we inside.  Her roommates were also in on it.  Thank God the girl was a good sport and thought it was funny.  But the end result was ARDOC got no PIE!

Bastards!

I have so many come to mind, I can't even post them. I need a drink.

Does sneaking into a friends honeymoon suite and sawing ALMOST through the bed slats count?

Quoted: Does sneaking into a friends honeymoon suite and sawing ALMOST through the bed slats count?

That would have been hilarious.  

No. ALMOST is another word for LOSER.

When I was in high school my friends took every construction sign, for sale sign, concrete geese, yard knomes, etc. and put them in my yard.  I lived on 5 acres so this was a good number of signs and stuff, all leading right up to my bedroom window.  I was frickin awesome.  My Mom was pissed but my friends took everything back where they found it.

Oh jeez...  once or twice reeeeeeaaal good.  Fuckers.  No, I'm not sharing.

How long is the statue of limitations?

Man..I could really light this board up.

Quoted: How long is the statue of limitations? Man..I could really light this board up.

Then do it..........pussy.

I once got so FUBAR'd that my roommates and a handful of frat brothers "crucified" me to to the pillars supporting the porch for the apartment above ours..

Fortunately, I was only hanging there for about 3 hours and the nursing student from across the quad cut me down and "nursed me back to health."

Quoted: When I was in high school my friends took every construction sign, for sale sign, concrete geese, yard knomes, etc. and put them in my yard.  I lived on 5 acres so this was a good number of signs and stuff, all leading right up to my bedroom window.  I was frickin awesome.  My Mom was pissed but my friends took everything back where they found it.

I've had a part ina sign prank like that.  It was all political signs!  Filled the whole front yard and roof of a friends house, but we didnt return any, just had a HUGE bonfire!!

Travis

My buddy passed out in the couch that was in the bathroom at the frat house.  Somewhere during the party he lost his shirt.  His bitch of a GF got markers out and started writing shit all over him and invited others to do the same.  He also got some toothpaste in his armpits.  Thank God he had his pants on.

Quoted: Does sneaking into a friends honeymoon suite and sawing ALMOST through the bed slats count?

We put little bells (about 100 of them) tied them to the bed springs at his house, using pipe cleaners..and my brother kept thinking his phone in the kitchen was ringing.

Quoted: Quoted: How long is the statue of limitations? Man..I could really light this board up. Then do it..........pussy.

Not a chance in hell. Maybe at Gunstock or the Hun's farm.

Two wives.

Three children. Two of them in college.

OWNED !

Quoted: Two wives. Three children. Two of them in college. OWNED !

OK..in college, at a bar, one of my buddies got blank faced drunk..he started hitting on a fairly hefty chick, we intervened to keep him from doing something stupid, he refused, he had her take him back to our apartment. We got there about 10 minutes later...she was in the kitchen trying to get some beer, he passed out on the couch. We sent her home.

We got to K-mart and buy the largest set of panties they had...huge! Big bra! Huge! We then go back and lug his sorry arse to his bed. We put the panties with gobs of frog blood (it was the only thing we could kill that time of night and get blood), we put the blood all over the panties and sheets on his cheeks and hands. We had vaseline and hair from our neighbors "girls" put all over the bed and panties. It looked like a royal, bloody sex romp. We had one of the girls next door write a note thanking him for making love "cunnilingus, licking her bloody twat etc" on his bathroom mirror...plus we took a Polaroid pick of large black woman at the landramat. I kid you not.

We had 3 to 4 hours to do all this...it just escellated from one thing to another.

Next morning he comes out...freaked, insane and almost in tears. Says he does'nt remember who this big black woman was. He has already cleaned his face off and told us her crap was in the room...what crap? He said, he did schitt he never even remembered. He thought she was an over weight hooker!

We go into the room and see the godawful mess we created..we did'nt laugh, we told him he was an idiot for buying a hooker and bringing her there. We then laughed at him the next day, and pestered him about "Big Bertha" the whale sized hooker.

It did'nt stop there... we had a black girl call the apt. and leave message. amn, that was funny.

We then carried this one for about week..we were going to tell him, when one of our buddies decided on the nuke option. Thi is all coming after he swore off drinking forever, he even got back with his old girlfriend. Anyway, one of my buds sent him a hand written letter proclaiming the hooker was pregnant...yep, this pretty much made Wayne crap his draws, he even called his dad, crying.

We "the sane friends" told him right after he called his dad that it was all a joke. He left that night, did'nt come back for 2 days, vowing revenge. But he finally laughed about week later and we are still friends to this day. (20 years later).

Quoted: OK..in college, at a bar, one of my buddies got blank faced drunk..he started hitting on a fairly hefty chick, we intervened to keep him from doing something stupid, he refused, he had her take him back to our apartment. We got there about 10 minutes later...she was in the kitchen trying to get some beer, he passed out on the couch. We sent her home. We got to K-mart and buy the largest set of panties they had...huge! Big bra! Huge! We then go back and lug his sorry arse to his bed. We put the panties with gobs of frog blood (it was the only thing we could kill that time of night and get blood), we put the blood all over the panties and sheets on his cheeks and hands. We had vaseline and hair from our neighbors "girls" put all over the bed and panties. It looked like a royal, bloody sex romp. We had one of the girls next door write a note thanking him for making love "cunnilingus, licking her bloody twat etc" on his bathroom mirror...plus we took a Polaroid pick of large black woman at the landramat. I kid you not. We had 3 to 4 hours to do all this...it just escellated from one thing to another. Next morning he comes out...freaked, insane and almost in tears. Says he does'nt remember who this big black woman was. He has already cleaned his face off and told us her crap was in the room...what crap? He said, he did schitt he never even remembered. He thought she was an over weight hooker! We go into the room and see the godawful mess we created..we did'nt laugh, we told him he was an idiot for buying a hooker and bringing her there. We then laughed at him the next day, and pestered him about "Big Bertha" the whale sized hooker. It did'nt stop there... we had a black girl call the apt. and leave message. amn, that was funny. We then carried this one for about week..we were going to tell him, when one of our buddies decided on the nuke option. Thi is all coming after he swore off drinking forever, he even got back with his old girlfriend. Anyway, one of my buds sent him a hand written letter proclaiming the hooker was pregnant...yep, this pretty much made Wayne crap his draws, he even called his dad, crying. We "the sane friends" told him right after he called his dad that it was all a joke. He left that night, did'nt come back for 2 days, vowing revenge. But he finally laughed about week later and we are still friends to this day. (20 years later).

lmmmmmmfffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

hahahaahhahahhahahahhahahaaha



You guys are so cruel!  

Ummmm... I have nothing to compare to that, but..

In medic AIT we once decided to take this one guys actual mattress and hide it in one of the bathroom stalls.  We then 'made' his springs with a nice military tuck and waited for him to get back.  There were fireworks, actually, he started yelling at everyone and trashing peoples bunks, throwing mattresses off, getting mad because everyone was laughing until someone finally told him it was in the Can.

It was pretty damn funny.

Quoted: OK..in college, at a bar, one of my buddies got blank faced drunk..he started hitting on a fairly hefty chick, we intervened to keep him from doing something stupid, he refused, he had her take him back to our apartment. We got there about 10 minutes later...she was in the kitchen trying to get some beer, he passed out on the couch. We sent her home. We got to K-mart and buy the largest set of panties they had...huge! Big bra! Huge! We then go back and lug his sorry arse to his bed. We put the panties with gobs of frog blood (it was the only thing we could kill that time of night and get blood), we put the blood all over the panties and sheets on his cheeks and hands. We had vaseline and hair from our neighbors "girls" put all over the bed and panties. It looked like a royal, bloody sex romp. We had one of the girls next door write a note thanking him for making love "cunnilingus, licking her bloody twat etc" on his bathroom mirror...plus we took a Polaroid pick of large black woman at the landramat. I kid you not. We had 3 to 4 hours to do all this...it just escellated from one thing to another. Next morning he comes out...freaked, insane and almost in tears. Says he does'nt remember who this big black woman was. He has already cleaned his face off and told us her crap was in the room...what crap? He said, he did schitt he never even remembered. He thought she was an over weight hooker! We go into the room and see the godawful mess we created..we did'nt laugh, we told him he was an idiot for buying a hooker and bringing her there. We then laughed at him the next day, and pestered him about "Big Bertha" the whale sized hooker. It did'nt stop there... we had a black girl call the apt. and leave message. amn, that was funny. We then carried this one for about week..we were going to tell him, when one of our buddies decided on the nuke option. Thi is all coming after he swore off drinking forever, he even got back with his old girlfriend. Anyway, one of my buds sent him a hand written letter proclaiming the hooker was pregnant...yep, this pretty much made Wayne crap his draws, he even called his dad, crying. We "the sane friends" told him right after he called his dad that it was all a joke. He left that night, did'nt come back for 2 days, vowing revenge. But he finally laughed about week later and we are still friends to this day. (20 years later).

O...M...G that's funny.

Quoted: OK..in college, at a bar, one of my buddies got blank faced drunk..he started hitting on a fairly hefty chick, we intervened to keep him from doing something stupid, he refused, he had her take him back to our apartment. We got there about 10 minutes later...she was in the kitchen trying to get some beer, he passed out on the couch. We sent her home. We got to K-mart and buy the largest set of panties they had...huge! Big bra! Huge! We then go back and lug his sorry arse to his bed. We put the panties with gobs of frog blood (it was the only thing we could kill that time of night and get blood), we put the blood all over the panties and sheets on his cheeks and hands. We had vaseline and hair from our neighbors "girls" put all over the bed and panties. It looked like a royal, bloody sex romp. We had one of the girls next door write a note thanking him for making love "cunnilingus, licking her bloody twat etc" on his bathroom mirror...plus we took a Polaroid pick of large black woman at the landramat. I kid you not. We had 3 to 4 hours to do all this...it just escellated from one thing to another. Next morning he comes out...freaked, insane and almost in tears. Says he does'nt remember who this big black woman was. He has already cleaned his face off and told us her crap was in the room...what crap? He said, he did schitt he never even remembered. He thought she was an over weight hooker! We go into the room and see the godawful mess we created..we did'nt laugh, we told him he was an idiot for buying a hooker and bringing her there. We then laughed at him the next day, and pestered him about "Big Bertha" the whale sized hooker. It did'nt stop there... we had a black girl call the apt. and leave message. amn, that was funny. We then carried this one for about week..we were going to tell him, when one of our buddies decided on the nuke option. Thi is all coming after he swore off drinking forever, he even got back with his old girlfriend. Anyway, one of my buds sent him a hand written letter proclaiming the hooker was pregnant...yep, this pretty much made Wayne crap his draws, he even called his dad, crying. We "the sane friends" told him right after he called his dad that it was all a joke. He left that night, did'nt come back for 2 days, vowing revenge. But he finally laughed about week later and we are still friends to this day. (20 years later).

You realize Karma is going to come back and kick you in the ass.

Quoted: Long, evil post

I do not think I will ever be able to come up with something on that level of evil.  You are my hero.

Kharn