1. Freindly fire isn't.
2. Recoiless rifles aren't.
3. Suppressive fire won't.
4. Tracers work both way.
5. Interchangeable parts aren't
6. All battles are fought uphill.
7. All battles are fought in the rain.
8. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
9. Mines are eqaul opportunity weapons.
10. Weather isn't neutral.

and the BIG one...

Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.

More to follow...feel free to add your own.

1.If the enemy is in range, so are you.    
2.Incoming fire has the right of way.  
3.Automatic weapons --aren't.  
4.Suppressive fire -- won't.  
5.Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.  
6.There is always a way.  
7.When in doubt, empty the magazine.  
8.Teamwork is essential.
9.It gives them someone else to shoot at  
10.No combat ready unit ever passed inspection.  
11.No inspection ready unit ever passed combat.  
12.The easy way is always mined.  
13.Beer math:  two beers times 37 men equal 49 cases.  
14.Body count math:  two guerillas plus one portable plus two pigs equal 37 enemy KIA.  
15.Things that must be together to work usually can't be shipped together.  
16.Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately.  
17.Anything you do can get you shot, including doing nothing.  
18.Tracers work both ways.  
19.Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.  
20.Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.  
21.The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: (a) when you're ready for them and (b) when you're not ready for them.  
22.Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.  
23.If you can't remember, then the claymore is pointed at you.  
24.The important things are always simple.  
25.The simple things are always hard.  
26.The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.  
27A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.  
28.If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.  
29.Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.  
30.Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.  
31.Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out.  
32.Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.  
33.All 5-second grenade fuses will burn out in 3.  
34.If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.  
35.When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.  
36.Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.  
37.If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share of objectives to take.  
38.When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.  
39.Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.  
 
-Murphy was a grunt.  

Regarding Cover) If you can see them, they can see you.

Regarding Pulling-Back) Hold your ground. You can't retreat any faster then a bullet can fly.

Regarding Ammo) 10 Rounds between 3 men is better then a full mag in [i]your[/i] rifle.

Regarding Hand to Hand) The lowliest armed man always defeats the World Champion Karate Master

Regarding Women in Combat) Tampons don't grow wild in the field.

Regarding Gays) Yeah. I bet they [i]"got your back"[/i]

Regarding the Enemy) Yes, the Military told you that you are the baddest motherfucker in the Valley. Their millitary told him that too.

Regarding Politicians) You are a "son" to your mother...You are an "acceptable casualty rate" to your Congressman.

Regarding Rifles) They only work when clean.
Unless it's an AK.

Regarding Camo) Dirt is always better then grease paint.

Regarding Artillery) They will always be 20 yards closer to you hope they will be.

Always win.

if you are short of everything except enemay u are in combat.

Remember your weapon was made by the losest bidded

1. when charging a hill i seem to always be the first one on it.

2. teamwork only works in peacetime! you on your
own in combat.

3. it seems like all the foxhole's are filled
when a machinegun locked in on us. I have no place to go.

4. always get attacked during chow time or in the shower's or while asleep or taking a dump.

The first rule of FIGHT CLUB is: You do not talk about FIGHT CLUB.

Tyler

I personally never met a atheist... in a fox hole that is..[;)]

The version of this I have heard (and which sounds a bit better to me) is:
Professional soldiers are always predictable...but the world is full of amateurs.

If it is stupid but it works, it is not stupid.

The enemy diversion you are ignoring is their main attack.

They enemy attacks on two occassions, when they're ready and when you're not.

Five second fuses always burn in three.

The retreating enemy you are pursuing is just falling back to regroup.

The problem with taking the simplest route is the enemy has already mined it.

No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection and no inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Things that must get shipped together as a set, aren't.

Things that must work together can't be carried to the field that way.

If you make it too hard for the enemy to get in, you won't be able to get out.

The more the weapon costs the farther you will need to send it for repairs.

The calvary doesn't always come to the rescue.

Napalm is an area support weapon.

B-52s are a close support weapon.

Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.

The side with the simplest uniforms will win.

Combat will always occur in the area between two adjoining maps of different locations.

Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.

Exceptions prove the rule and destroy the battle plan.

And of course...

The most dangerous thing in the world is a second lieutenant with a map and a compass.

You ripped off [url]www.s16.net[/url] !!!!

[b]ALWAYS CYOA[/b]

Never retreat, but if needed, fight in a rearward direction!!

In combat[size=6]THERE ARE NO RULES[/size=6]
[sniper]

Don't forget these un-written rules
1) civilians that run are enemy is disguise, one's that don't are well trained.
2) captured enemy is a liability.
3) shoot them all and let god sort them out.

What do you do if you have a battalion of the enemy on your left, a battalion of enemy on the right, a battalion in front, and a battalion behind you; and you have just run out of ammo?

thats easy! You have them just where you want them because they have obviously fallen right into your trap!!!!

you take out your bayonet and get 18th century on their asses.

When going on a mission, always leave a seat for Murphy.  He's going anyway and might as well be comfortable.

Nothing is more dangerous than an Officer with a Map and Compass!

Take good care of your two most important pieces of equipment...your rifle and your feet....
The most important weapon ...the radio

I'm surprised that you all forgot what the most important thing to do in combat is, obey your UN commander.  [smoke]

Edited to define 'is'

Always cheat and always win!

There is no second place.

Cover requires more than a small tree trunk.

Once the shooting starts, you will not hear verbel commands, and you will not look for hand and arm signals.

Listen to your NCOs.

The difference between cover and concealment is a sucking chest wound.

Tanks are easy, tanks with infantry are impossible.

The air farce does not know your Bradley from a BMP.

A10 guys are your friends, unless......see above

F16 guys are never your friends

LOL Scarecrow

It's not the round with your name on it you need to worry about. It's the one marked, "To whom it may concern."

Murphy was an optimist.

FMCDH
Semper Fidelis
Jarhead out.

----------------------
"There are only two things we should fight for. One is the defense of our homes, and the other is the Bill of Rights."
--Major General Smedley D. Butler, USM

Anyone who runs is a militia member.

Anyone who stands still is a well disciplined militia member.

One enemy soldier is never enough but two is entirely too many.

The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.

Clean dry BDUs will be a magnet for mud and rain.

The worse the weather the more you will have to be in it.

When you have pleanty of ammo, you never miss. When you are short of ammo, you can't hit.

The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of it's user.

Field experience is something you don't aquire until just after you need it.

If enough data is collected a board of inquiry can prove anything.

Airstrikes will always overshoot a target, artillery will always fall short.

Those who hesitate under fire almost always seem to survive.

The weapon that will jam when it is most needed will always be the M60.

The CMH is usually won by the newest and least experienced soldier.

The Purple Heart proves that you were smart enough to think of a plan and dumb enough to try it.

The bursting radius of a grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping ability.

Every command than can be misunderstood, will be.

There is no such thing as a convenient foxhole.

There is always a way, and it usually won't work.

Walking point attracts snipers.

And of course,

The dumber the leader is, the more important the assignment given to him will be.