User Panel
Posted: 5/17/2005 12:18:46 AM EDT
I've been having some tummy troubles lately, maybe it is stress but I feel terribly bloated and my gut is sticking out and really hard. I tried drinking a full bottle of Milk of Magnesia last week and it didn't help other than to give me the Schvitz.
Has anyone else tried to cleanse the build up of CRAP in their gullet before? |
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Call me a sissy or squeamish but ain't nuthin' going in that end, I just want it to all come out! |
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It fuckin' works, dude. Man up. |
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I've never heard of any of that.
And I don't think I want to. |
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I've done some research and came across some pics of the stuff that's called Mucoid Plaque......and I can't help thinking that there are dozens of steaks and burgers trapped in my gullet like these poor helpless souls.
Mucoid Plaque (Not for the Squeamish) But I recalled the article in Maxim about 5 years ago that advertised COLON BLOW and the SNL skit about bowls of Colon Blow Cereal and I was like......SHIT, that's my gullet right there! |
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Jesus Christ is right! Aren't there any doctors in the house? Hell, a full bottle of MOM didn't clean my ass out. It's actually kind of a discomfort when I sit or hell, when I do anything! It's like my guts are hanging over my pelvis but my gut has gone hard! |
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Dude, just drink a big glass of metamucil (or some other generic fiber mix) every morning. It's cheap and doesn't hurt.
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I thought these things just clean out what you ate recently.....I'm more concerned about the college days of binging on Quarter Pounders and Jumbo Jacks in 1993 that is still stuck in my gullet..... |
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Try the Asian slim tea, the only problem is that it may sneak up on you so do not go anywhere for 12 hours or so.
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Intentionally ..... No . Although I did experience a pyroclastic flow out my ass a few weeks ago after eating some take out from a local Mexican food place but I don't recommend it |
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Unless you've got a couple of lampreys stuck up there this stuff will make your innerds look like they've been steamed cleaned...! |
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Normally, I wouldn't bother but it's becoming a constant discomfort, not to mention my pants not fitting anymore. |
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Hmmm, I will research that some more. Which Fleet product is it exactly? |
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This is pretty funny.
Hey, if you're seriously having some problems, go with Mark's suggestion - Fleet. |
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Take up jogging in the evenings after work. Will trim up that waistline in no time. If all else fails buy a treadmill. |
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I would but it feels like I have a bowling ball in my colon! Walking is a discomfort....sitting is a discomfort and after taking a whole bottle of MOM I squirted clear liquid for days. Shit isn't shifting in my gullet. |
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Is this stuff available OTC at Walgreens, CVS or Walmart per chance? Hell, any locally available cleanser would be helpful. |
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And that, ain't no shit! |
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Ahhhhhh, maybe you might need to see a Doctor... |
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You can purchase Fleet® Phospho-soda® in the laxative aisle of most major drug and food stores. (from the link) |
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Man this thread is going on! If you're serious about constipation, then go with Mark's advice - Fleet. |
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User "cheeks" is an expert on colons, rectums, shit... Apparently all thing anal.
He had a whole thread selling some sort of ass cleaner. Here it is cheeks ass cleaner Allegedly. |
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I think it's more than just constipation. I feel fatigued, have blotches on my skin, had a bout of acne and an ongoing psoriasis problem on my scalp. Basically, I feel like CRAP....going on many years now since I started to add on weight. |
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Just a few questions that were not answered by the link provided...... Will this help detoxify my system? Will I need to drink electrolytes or eat yogurt afterwards after all the "Good" bacteria is gone out of my system? Is this chemically the same stuff as MOM or is MOM a totally different thing? I'm still a youngin' and have never had a colonoscopy. This constipation problem has been ongoing for a few months now......about 9-10 months....almost a year. I have a regular, daily CRAP but lately I've been under stress from work but my regularity hasn't really changed. |
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Christ almight, Thank the Good Lord that I'm not the first to have Constipation problems. |
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Eat a thin crust pizza with extra pepperoni (for the grease) and chase it with half a cup of straight lemon juice.
But equip your toilet with seatbelts first! You have MAYBE half an hour before the bomb drops. Sit down, strap in, shut up, and HANG ON! CJ |
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I think it is all the Pizza's that I've been eating that started the problem..... |
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At the hospital we give a product called GoLYTELY for bowel prep before surgery. I am not sure if it is available OTC or not though. They order the fleets phospho-soda for colonoscopy prep for outpatients. If used as directed, it works great. They cannot perform a successful scope if there is any stool in the colon and the fleets cleans it all out and you can buy it at most stores.
As a side note, a change in bowel habits is a warning sign for cancer. I suggest you discuss this with your doctor stat. |
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I sure don't hope so, I'm only 30 but even after I take a laxative like MOM I feel and look bloated. I'll try the Fleets and see if that helps and if not I'll have a physical. Will Fleets clean out the MUCOID PLAQUE? What are you thoughts on PSYLLIUM HUSK? That thick shit that absorbs water and looks like Barley or Homily in water? |
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Being 30 your risk for colon cancer is fairly low. Have you ever noticed any blood in your stool? Thats a huge red flag. Also its the feeling that you are describing as being bloated is concerning. You should talk to your family doctor about this.
The phillips MOM is a decent laxitive, but taking a whole bottle will give you "rebound effect" meaning that it will be less effective and actually exacerbate the problem. Do not go over the recommended dose on a laxitive or anything for that matter. Im a nursing student and have never heard of mucoid plaque. Not saying that it doesn't exist, but I have never seen a patient with that condition and its not in my text book or my Mosby's medical dictionary (just looked). Sounds like marketing to me. |
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What's this crap called? *Pun intended* Mucoid Plaque |
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looks like a cow's large intestine IMHO. If that came out of my ass, I think I would be seeing a gastroenterologist stat.
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Well I have to get to school, we are studying GI disorders, so I will ask my instructor about the mucoid plaque.
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Now thats FUNNY! good one CM |
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Could also have a small bowel obstruction[SBO]. Get the Fleets phospho soda and try it. If that doesn't get you relief you need, then head to the doc and get checked out. A SBO is lots of phun to have treated. wganz ¶ |
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Um, yea the doctor is the last resort cause I can just picture the rubber gloves coming out and him sticking his middle finger up my ass looking for raspberries!
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Will that really cause the 'bomb' to drop? |
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it's a scam their "cleansing" routine has you eating a bunch of undigestable shit like clay and fiber, then you shit it out and it looks nasty. you wouldn't be shitting something like that out had you not eaten a bunch of undigestable crap a few hours ago. |
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Dude, you've got a problem. Get to the Dr. real fast. Call your family Doc and get a referal before you end up unconscious and in an ER. I'm not a doctor but I know that a hard abdomen, pain, and skin discoloration spell some potential problems (liver problems, and colon problems that can lead to septicemia - aka bad infection poisoning the blood) |
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Sit on the can, drink a Bud, smoke a cigarette, have a cup of coffee and call me in the morning.
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