Two guys are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. As the driver rolls down the window, the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says,"Why'd you do that?" The trooper drawls, "You're in Alabama,son. When I pull you over you'll have your license ready." The driver rubs his head and says, "I'm sorry,officer. I'm not from around here." The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on that window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him wiyh the nightstick. The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?" The cop says, "Just making your wishes come true." "Huh?" says the passenger. The cop replies, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say, "I wish that jerk would've tried that shit with me."


[:D]

[rolleyes]

OK, it's humor Day. Here's more:

You might be a cop if . . .

. . . you have the bladder capacity of five people

. . . you believe that 25% of people are a waste of protoplasm

. . . your idea of a good time is an armed robbery at shift change

. . . you call for a criminal check of anyone who seems friendly to you

. . . discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you

. . . you identify a negative "teeth to tatoo" ratio just by looking at a person

. . . you find humor in other people's stupidity

. . . you disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see

. . . you have your weekends off planned for a year in advance

. . . you believe unspeakable evils will fall upon you if someone says "boy, it sure is quiet here tonight"

. . . your diet consists of food that has gone through more processing than a computer can track

. . . you believe chocolate is a food group

. . . when someone calls you a jerk, you take it as a compliment

. . . you have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled "Suicide, get it right the first time"

. . . you believe that "too stupid to live" should be a valid verdict

. . . you have ever had to put the phone on hold, so you could laugh uncontrollably

. . . you believe a certain dispatcher is possessed by a demon

. . . your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion

. . . you think caffeine should be available in IV form

. . . you have heard the sergeant muttering down the hall, "who's in charge of this mess"

. . . your prisoner states, "I don't know how it got there"

. . . it occurs to you suddenly one night that you are policing the Twilight Zone

. . . you believe anyone who says, "I only had two or three beers" and blows over 150

. . . you find out a lot about paranoia just by following people around

. . . you are told to deliver a human jaw in a jar and you find yourself talking to it there on the seat beside you

. . . you believe it's not a good death unless it involves overtime

. . . you are the only person introduced at a social gathering by his profession

. . . you walk into places and people think it's high comedy to seize a co-worker and shout "they've come to get you, bill or fred. or whoever"

. . . you do not see daylight from November to May

. . . you believe office meetings are always called at the end of your shift

. . . people shout "I didn't do it!" when you walk into a room and they think it's original and hugely funny

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