Goldie Comer, a recent widow, was sitting on a Florida beach near Miami.She
was attempting to strike up a conversation with an elderlygentleman, who was
on a blanket next to her, reading a book...
"Hello sir", she interrupted, "how are you today"?
"Fine, thank you", he responded, and turned back to reading his book.
"I love the beach, do you come here often?? she asked.
"First time since my wife passed away last year", he replied.
"Do you live around here", she asked?
"Yes", he answered, returning to his book.
Goldie persisted..."do you like pussycats"?
With that, the man threw his book down, jumped up off his blanket, onto hers,
whipped off his & hers swimsuits and gave her the ride of herlife.  As the
cloud of sand began to settle, Goldie asked the man,
"how did you know that is what I wanted"?
He replied, "How did you know my name was Katz"?

[:D]

sorry, but that was weak

How 'bout this one my brother sent me tonight:


Two cowboys from Arizona walk into a roadhouse to wash the trail dust from their throats. They stand at the bar, drinking their beers and talking quietly about cattle prices.

Suddenly a woman at a table behind them, who had been eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so it becomes apparent that she is in real distress, and the cowboys turn to look at her.

"Kin ya swaller?" asks one of the cowboys. No, the woman shakes her head.
"Kin ya breathe?" asks the other. The woman, beginning to turn a bit blue, shakes her head No again.

The first cowboy walks over to her, lifts up the back of her skirt, yanks down her panties, and slowly runs his tongue from the back of thigh up to the small of her back. This shocks the woman to a violent spasm, the obstruction flies out of her mouth, and she begins to breathe again.

The cowboy walks back over to the bar and takes a drink of his beer. His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heard of that there Hind Lick Maneuver, but I never seen anybody do it."


[bounce]  where do I sign up for classes?

A group of senior citizens were exchanging notes about their ailments.

"My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup."

"Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't see to pour the coffee."

"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck."

"My blood pressure pills make my dizzy."

"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old."

"Well, it's not all bad. We should be thankful that we can still drive."

NOT FUNNY!!!  Too many no-driving old farts causing a shit load of accidents and high blood pressure.