After 30 years together, my wife moved out last Christmas.  Having had all I could take, I filed for divorce.  She took this as a personal affront and commenced bitter and expensive campaign to destroy me.  She left in the middle of our son's last year in HS.  I have been his sole source of support all of this year.

I filed in January.  Using the power of the court, Carol was forced into mediation in September to resolve property disputes.  In the end, she got less than I offered back in April.  I have given in and rolled over time and time again just to try to get this to completion.  I have paid out $7000 in lawyers fees to date and owe $16,000 more.  In other words, everything I had worked for is gone, including our savings for our son's education and I will owe to my lawyer more than I have when this is concluded.  

Carol demanded that she pick up her items (my table saw, 12 firearms, the sterling silver, tools, two old kitchen appliances) at my brother's house last Saturday afternoon.  (She had already gotten my pickup truck and her Toyota free and clear.)  She wouldn't come to my apartment (I had to sell the home because I couldn't pay the 2 mortgages by myself) saying that she feared for her life.  In our life together, I never assaulted her, threatened her, and never did anything violent.  

1.  Carol and her father were preceded by three police units of the Lufkin P.D.  The police contingent consisted of a Watch Sgt. and two Patrolmen.  According to the Sgt., Carol said that my brother and I were both armed and dangerous.  Both my 56-year-old brother and I were searched in the front yard.  I was asked if I was armed.  I was not armed.  My brother had a cheap pocket knife with a 2" blade in his pocket.  It was taken to him and returned later.

2.  Carol was angry that the tools I gave her were not Craftsman brand.  A brand was never specified.  I told her that she could either take them or I would keep them.  She insisted on taking them.

3.  In the letter detailing those items to be picked up, opposing counsel specified a black boom box.  In the signed property settlement, no color was specified.  Carol was given a boom box I purchased for her 12/03.

4.  Carol wanted to check the serial numbers of the 12 firearms.  The police told her to do it somewhere else.  Each of the firearms was in a knit sleeve for ease of transport.

5.  I was not given any of the property I asked for or Carol agreed to give to me.  I guess that is my tough luck.  I can't afford to pursue these items, even though they are very special to me.

6.  The police apologized to my brother and me for the intrusion.  It was obvious to them that neither my brother nor I are a threat to anyone.

I have never been arrested in my life.  I have never been searched other than by the TSA at the airport.  My brother is a pillar of his community.  The cops didn't do anything wrong.  They were lied to.  My tell you that it is disconcerting to have three cops cautiously come up to you from three different directions.  I was cooperative and pleasant.

Never expect a divorce to be simple or easy.

No animals were injured.

Quoted: No animals were injured.

Including your ex?

The DriftPunch test: Prenup!  

Reservations?  Fine.  Instant outrage?  Well, we weren't meant to be anyhoo...

Then again, I'm still not married...

Sorry dude.

What a fucking CUNT! Sorry you have to go through that. Why are women so vengeful?

Divorces are destructive no matter how "friendly" either party tries to be.

Domestic situations are the number one most dangerous calls police officers respond to... sound like you got a good batch to deal with.

Sorry to hear about your plight dude.


Remember the 3 F's...

If it floats, flys or fucks, Rent it, it's cheaper.

Sorry to hear that.  Why air your laundry here?  That's some pretty personal stuff.

Quoted: Why are women so vengeful?

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

Even if they were not scorned.

Why... in the name of God... did you give her your firearms?

That is one area I would NOT BUDGE on, regardless the circumstances.

Makes me physically ill to read this post.

Anyone that thinks shit like this will never happen to you because your wife is "such an angel" should take note.  When the "D" word is mentioned anything that the two of you had together in the past is just that... THE PAST and it means NOT A GODDAMNED THING NOW.

Good luck.  Many of us have been there to one degree or another.

I don't blame the cops. She no doubt lied to them. But they handled it in a manner that seems reasonable

why did she get your guns???

Note to self, take all my shit for a boating trip the day after filing for divorce.

Story sucks...but if you got cleaned like that there must be more to it. Why would a judge give you the kid but take everything else, doesn't add up. Then again it's no body here's business....

Quoted: why did she get your guns???

For spite.

Well, I, being the ignorant moron that I WAS...left my now ex without taking my firearms.


She hocked them at a pawn shop.


I was not able to retrieve them, and was so wrapped up in my kids being properly taken care of, settling on monies etc... until one day she said "By the way, I hocked your guns..."  I said "Ok, when. She handed me the pawn tickets. ....  6 months had passed.

Not a one remained at the Pawn shop......

Fucking bitch.....


My grandfather had given me a Savage 20 ga. .22lr over and under when I was a youngster. I cherished that gift so much, and had killed plenty of squirrels and rabbits with it.

Also, an M1 Garand, M1 Carbine, Ruger MKII, and others...

It was such a helpless feeling.

Hang in there bro....

sorry to hear about the bad dealings, any chance you got some pics of her you'd like to post?!?!

Quoted: Story sucks...but if you got cleaned like that there must be more to it. Why would a judge give you the kid but take everything else, doesn't add up. Then again it's no body here's business....

I'd give up everything I have for the same deal.

Quoted: 6.  The police apologized to my brother and me for the intrusion.  It was obvious to them that neither my brother nor I are a threat to anyone.

They must have been so proud.

Quoted: Note to self, take all my shit for a boating trip the day after filing for divorce.

 You know what happens then???  The wife inflates the value by 50-100%, then the judge orders you to pay that cost on top of everything else.

Shit what did you get to keep?  People wonder why I dont get married!  Whats mine is mine!  

It sounds like those were HER guns.

Sounds weird that a mother would dis-respect her own child through this kind of behavior.

Good luck on your future with your son.

Quoted: Shit what did you get to keep?  People wonder why I dont get married!  Whats mine is mine!

Don't marry a loser and this doesn't happen.

CRC

Quoted:

+1 Sorry to hear about your problems. Sadly, when dealing with a true bitch, there's not much you can do....Take solace in the fact that at least you tried to do right by your kids....

Quoted: Shit what did you get to keep?  People wonder why I dont get married!  Whats mine is mine!

+ Infinity.....and women wonder why guys are reluctant to get married

Quoted: Don't marry a loser and this doesn't happen. CRC

That's not true, I have seen the absolute nicest, sweetest women suddenly turn (usually at the fault of the men, but not always) and destroy their husbands.

You never know...

Quoted: Quoted: Don't marry a loser and this doesn't happen. CRC That's not true, I have seen the absolute nicest, sweetest women suddenly turn (usually at the fault of the men, but not always) and destroy their husbands. You never know...

Yes you do. It depends on the moral basis of your relationship.

Don't have any what do you expect.

CRC

At least you got your Son.  That is priceless.

sorry bro, that fucking sucks

on the plus side, now I feel better about being single

Sorry to hear about your situation...I wish you the best of luck.

Quoted: M1 Garand

No offence ment, Even if the dude is a law abiding dick.. for posterity's sakes..   a gun such as that should not be hawked.

Revenge awt to be "illegal" in a diverce.

Using this case as example.

Her:  I want the guns.

Judge: Do you hunt, or are they an heirloom from your family's side?

Her: No. <probably>

Judge: Then no.. stick the house and cars.

Well, SOMETHING like that... and of course if should swing both ways.

Him:  I want her sewing mahcine!

Judge: Dude, your gay....

Quoted: Quoted: 6.  The police apologized to my brother and me for the intrusion.  It was obvious to them that neither my brother nor I are a threat to anyone. They must have been so proud.

Are you really that ignorant?

Uncle Mahatma answers your questions.

Guns:  Carol quit her high-paying job in '01 because "they" weren't treating her with respect and lying to her.  Right.  OUr daughter was just starting her sophmore year in college.  Though I had two jobs, I had to generate cash.  Nearly all the good stuff was sold off.  What was left was essentially inexpensive bolt action milsurps.  I gave them up because they weren't worth the cost of the fight to keep them.

What did I keep?  I have my Miata (paid for), used furniture, books, most of my tools, 4-year-old puter system, and some used furniture.  I also have my Zojirushi Neuro Fuzzy rice cooker!  I also have the love and respect of our two surviving children.  I am also free of years of emotional and verbal abuse.  And I have a clear conscience and a sunny outlook on life.

Why did I marry her?  Our first date was 9/73.  She had just turned 18 and I turned 18 six weeks later.  The only real girlfriend and only woman I have ever been with.  I took my wedding vows as seriously as if I had made them face-to-face with God Almighty Himself.  Our life was difficult, but I was taught by my late parents that life was tough and that real men suck it up and do the right thing.

Pre-nup?  We started out with little of nothing.  For me, life was an adventure.  For Carol, it was supposed to be an easy ride.

Our son?  When she moved out, she didn't even tell him.  That was left for me.  He never missed her.  He was still in HS and she moved out of town.  I was the best person for him to be with.  He is better now than before his mother left.

Hate?  Nah, I don't hate her.  I worry about her.  Actually, I still love her, but not in a romantic way.  She is the mother of my children.  I will not dishonor my kids by hating their mom.  God loves Carol and wants her to be healthy and happy.  So do I, but while God wants a close, personal relationship with Carol, I don't.

I think she is close to a melt-down.  It may be what it takes for her to start getting well emotionally, physically, and most importantly spiritually.

Carol is screwed up.....but it isn't my fault.  She is where she choses to be.  It will be her choice as to whether she gets better or worse.

You sir sound like a good man.

Hope things start looking up and I'm sure they will with God in control.

Just be there for your kids.

CRC

Quoted: Carol is screwed up.....but it isn't my fault.  She is where she choses to be.  It will be her choice as to whether she gets better or worse.

Sounds like she already made her choice.
Best wishes.

Quoted: Y'all can holler all you want about a 'pre-nup' agreement, but in reality, IF the other party wishes to attack any prenuptial agreement as ineffective, onerous, fraudulent, or unconscionable THEN you will likely pay as much money to defend the pre-nuptial from the attack as you would likely benefit from the pre-nuptial's terms and provisions! And any party who has ever signed a pre-nuptial agreement in a marriage should be well aware that this is the likely outcome should it ever have to be used in a court of law. It is possible, of course, even likely, that the pre-nuptial will be upheld.....but after having paid so much in attorney's fees that it may prove to be a Phyrric victory! Gosh I hate attorneys!   Eric The(OneOf'Em)Hun

Big +1.

My mother was forced to sign a prenup under duress, after being married to said asshole for 8 years. She challenged it in court...the proceedings lasted 11 years...she didn't get half, but she bankrupted the MF and got a nice chunk o change.

I'm sorry you got screwed... 30 years?  damn... I'd say you were lucky to walk away with your nutz.

I've seen the other side though.  I've seen an X-husband that really is what your X told those cops you are.  He stalked her, he attempted to break in a couple times.  He probably would have killed her if he had the chance and I'm sure he looks back on it now wishing he had.  He ended up paying easily 20k to assorted lawyers (they dropped him after they realized he was full of shit) to her 10k in defense.  He lied to the judge on the first day... once you lie to a judge, that's it, everything you say to him/her is tainted.  I still think she should write a book about it... "a modern divorce".

Hang in there bud!  Be prepared for your Ex to attempt to revise history and convince your kids/family that you are to blame for what happened "to her".   Take the high road;things will get better every day.  Just remember, your kid's well being is more important than "stuff" (you can always make money & get more stuff).  Your kids probably see things more objectively than you think!

If you were a LEO you would probably be out of a career also.

I'll say this, it sounds like you are a hell of a man and she really has lost out.

She made her bed.

I am really glad to hear you got the kids. That doesn't usually happen and most guys are reluctantly willing to become weekend dads so they can get the divorce over with.

You made the right choice and it isn't you who will be tossing and turning at night.

Quoted: Y'all can holler all you want about a 'pre-nup' agreement, but in reality, IF the other party wishes to attack any prenuptial agreement as ineffective, onerous, fraudulent, or unconscionable THEN you will likely pay as much money to defend the pre-nuptial from the attack as you would likely benefit from the pre-nuptial's terms and provisions! And any party who has ever signed a pre-nuptial agreement in a marriage should be well aware that this is the likely outcome should it ever have to be used in a court of law. It is possible, of course, even likely, that the pre-nuptial will be upheld.....but after having paid so much in attorney's fees that it may prove to be a Phyrric victory! Gosh I hate attorneys!   Eric The(OneOf'Em)Hun

My wife asked the judge that ruled against us in a trust case what he thought of trusts.  The judge said, "not much, especially the ones I see."

We're still in negotiations with the .gov for final tax bill and the lawyers and accountants are still defending their work and charging us....LOL, it's a beautiful scheme....

Give your money away before you die.....most of it anyway.

Quoted: God loves Carol and wants her to be healthy and happy.  So do I, but while God wants a close, personal relationship with Carol, I don't.

Very well said.  Wish I'd have said it.

I think she is close to a melt-down.  It may be what it takes for her to start getting well emotionally, physically, and most importantly spiritually. Carol is screwed up.....but it isn't my fault.  She is where she choses to be.  It will be her choice as to whether she gets better or worse.

The biggest thing for me to deal with in my divorce was this:

God will not make someone do what is right.  If she wants to do wrong, God will let her.  But she will have to answer for her decisions.

And for those that say something like, "It would never happen to me.  I know my wife and she would never do something like that", all I can tell you is that people can become mentally unstable.

When they do, you don't know what they will do.

Mahatma8Rice, trust in Jesus.  He never changes or fails us.

I fucking hate it when bad things happen to good people...