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Posted: 6/8/2001 9:58:55 PM EDT
I have sat here and have seen regular members go get a fake name and tell a tale, never thought it would be me.  She told me the other day she was late; I have heard that probably a hundred times since I was 16.  I was not to worried about it.  She said this morning she was going to get a little test at the drug store.  Tonight I call her and talk about little stuff and said I would talk to her tomorrow (I had completely forgot about it).  I called her back and asked how did it go?  She says " Are you sure you want to know?"  Hell yes I do.  Its positive.  A little background: She is my ex-girlfriends former best friend.  She already has a kid without a father and I know she has had a couple abortions.  I know she doesn't sound like an angel but she does have her good points.  I asked her how come this always seems to happen to her.  She asked what I meant - I said maybe she should have tried a different form of birth control because none seem to work for her.  She says "Well you know I'm not on any"  I was floored - I know I am half to blame here but I thought she was on something.  She said I told you and we talked about it.  I let a lot of things go in one ear and out the other but, that sort of thing I remember.  She says I told you I have used the morning after pill a couple of times but my insurance only covers so many in a certain amount of time.  She says she is not going to try and trap me and she will take care of it.  I am furious and know I share the responsibility of this but...
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 10:02:34 PM EDT
[#1]
Sucks to be you.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 10:04:52 PM EDT
[#2]
No comment on your inability to effectively communicate with your sexual partner.

Paul
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 10:10:54 PM EDT
[#3]
Quoted:
I asked her how come this always seems to happen to her.  She asked what I meant - I said maybe she should have tried a different form of birth control because none seem to work for her.  She says "Well you know I'm not on any"  I was floored - I know I am half to blame here but I thought she was on something.  She said I told you and we talked about it.  I let a lot of things go in one ear and out the other but, that sort of thing I remember
View Quote


Time to grow up buddy and face the music...[b]IT'S  100% YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!![/b]  This girl already had a couple kids and you thought you were "safe"??

I got news for you.  If she is pregnant you have a responsibility towards the child, weather she is going to "trap" you or not!!  And I don't mean just financially but also emotionally.  [b]IT'S CALLED FATHERHOOD!![/b]

So be a man and take care of the responsibility  [b]YOU[/b] created.  And next time keep it in your pants...or at least in a couple of rubbers.

sgtar15
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 10:11:18 PM EDT
[#4]
You violated the first rule of safety.

Treat all guns as thought they are loaded!

I'm sure you took the time to find out what she would or would not do sexually but you didn't take the time to find out about birth control or put on a condom to protect both of you from sexually transmitted diseaes which either of you may not even know you have.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 10:11:34 PM EDT
[#5]
Dude, you shoulda asked. I gather you have no feelings for this girl? It seems as though she does not want the child and since there is no commitment on your part I think you should respect her wishes.

On a side note, hasn't she learned a lesson the first time. Plus with all the diseases out there should you be wearing a jimmy hat. Irregardless wether you know her or not. You two are not in a monogomous relationship. But alas, hind sight is 20/20

That's my .02
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 10:14:15 PM EDT
[#6]
No more sleep for you.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 10:14:27 PM EDT
[#7]
not a flame, but...

if ya dont protect yourself no one else will, so DONT depend on anyone else to do that for you

even WITH protection there is a chance to get pregnant

if she doesnt want to get an abortion, then you will be paying child support so do your duty and pay up and be the best dad you can be.

[b]DONT[/b] marry her over this, chances are you will end up divorced in a couple years and then you will be paying Child Support AND Vagina-mony
you didnt mention that you loved her or she loves you, she says she wont trap you, SO BE READY TO BE TRAPPED!!!
good luck and wrap the willy next time, ALL THE TIME
look at it this way -- a new gun owner will be brought into the world, and be glad she didnt tell you she has AIDS
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 10:15:32 PM EDT
[#8]
I have no kids and do not want any at this time - she has one.  She is the one that told me how stupid I was for sleeping with my ex-girlfriend because she was the one lying to me about being on birth control.  
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 10:18:24 PM EDT
[#9]
As I re-read my post I find myself looking and sounding as foolish as the McUzi crack whore thread.  I remember thinking what an idiot!  Now I am the idiot.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 10:21:36 PM EDT
[#10]
Ever see Full Metal Jacket?  Remember when "handjob" got killed and Animal Mother says "better him then me."  


Yeah well, sorry dude.  guess I'm just callous
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 10:21:47 PM EDT
[#11]
Quoted:
As I re-read my post I find myself looking and sounding as foolish as the McUzi crack whore thread.  I remember thinking what an idiot!  Now I am the idiot.
View Quote


Dude we're all idiots at one point in our life or another. Just learn from this experience. And yes heed the advice don't marry her over this. If she keeps the child be a man and support that child.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 10:24:22 PM EDT
[#12]
Quoted:
I have no kids and do not want any at this time - she has one.  She is the one that told me how stupid I was for sleeping with my ex-girlfriend because she was the one lying to me about being on birth control.  
View Quote


Who the hell is running your life??[>:/][>:/]
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 10:25:20 PM EDT
[#13]
Quoted:

be glad she didnt tell you she has AIDS
View Quote



!!!!!ROGER THAT!!!!
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 10:33:14 PM EDT
[#14]
People get married for worse reasons. It is a
shock to the nervous system like no outher.
Give the child your Name and your Love. I don't
think you will regret doing so.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 10:33:57 PM EDT
[#15]
Well I certainatly have no plans of marrying her.  I can't believe she wasn't on any sort of birth control - she knows I don't want any kids and she can't even take care of the one she has.  
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 10:35:58 PM EDT
[#16]
Some of you people seem to think there is going to be a birth - there's not.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 10:50:05 PM EDT
[#17]
Quoted:
Some of you people seem to think there is going to be a birth - there's not.
View Quote


Yeah..I kind of saw that coming.  I am assuming you and her will abort the baby if she is pregnant..right?  After all, not once did you ever stray from talking how this has inconvienced [b]YOU[/b].  How you were "tricked" and "lied to".  After all, your not ready to take responsibility for your actions yet(ie Be a father). so just kill the pregnancy and get on with your life.

Real mature there buddy, that type of thinking really pisses me off.  It all about taking the easy way out and avoiding responsibility/pain.  Sad, really really sad.

sgtar15
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 10:57:46 PM EDT
[#18]
You're gonna at least pay for the abortion, aren't you?
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:03:19 PM EDT
[#19]
Quoted:

Yeah..I kind of saw that coming.  I am assuming you and her will abort the baby if she is pregnant..right?  After all, not once did you ever stray from talking how this has inconvienced [b]YOU[/b].  How you were "tricked" and "lied to".  After all, your not ready to take responsibility for your actions yet(ie Be a father). so just kill the pregnancy and get on with your life.

Real mature there buddy, that type of thinking really pisses me off.  It all about taking the easy way out and avoiding responsibility/pain.  Sad, really really sad.
View Quote


It wouldn't be AR15.com without SOMEONE getting up on their high horse when the occasion arises, would it? [rolleyes]
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:08:34 PM EDT
[#20]
Quoted:
It all about taking the easy way out and avoiding responsibility/pain.  Sad, really really sad.

sgtar15
View Quote


First I am going to take responsibility and pay for it.  Why would anyone want to stick around for the pain.  
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:10:11 PM EDT
[#21]
Quoted:
Sucks to be you.
View Quote


Well raven he doesn't have all the words of wisdom of you
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:11:51 PM EDT
[#22]
I don't want to turn this into a morality issue - as matter of fact I don't know what I was looking for here I guess I just needed to vent.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:12:08 PM EDT
[#23]
Tell me about it.  Aren't I clever?

Seriously, I feel your pain.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:15:50 PM EDT
[#24]
One trophy on display
and a few abortions in the closet.


Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:16:18 PM EDT
[#25]
Well I have to be a little shitty about this beacause I am sure if she figures out this will be the end of us - which it is - she might try to change it around

Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:18:21 PM EDT
[#26]
Raven,
I don't consider my post being on a high horse type attitude.  What I am tired of is people in this country not taking responsibility for their own damn actions!!  You want to know why this country is so screwed up??  Re-read this post...it was all about me me me, and blaming someone else (the girl) for what happened, not himself.  

I say it's time we start teaching responsibility instead of how to take the easy way out of a problem.  That's not being on a "High Horse", that having a "Higher Standard!!"  Fact is this trend will continue and it is a trend of Liberalism, not conservativism.  Again, really really sad because the battle is lost, for this Liberal thinking has a strong hold in the minds of the majority of the gun owners.

sgtar15  
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:19:46 PM EDT
[#27]
Wait a minute! Are you guys gonna bet your life on a [i]balloon[/i]?

What are the stats now? Let's see, ONE out of every FIVE Americans has a sexually transmitted disease.

[i][b]Do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do you?[/b][/i][:D]

Eric The(WayTooMuchDiseaseOutThere)Hun[>]:)]
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:21:59 PM EDT
[#28]
Quoted:
Wait a minute! Are you guys gonna bet your life on a [i]balloon[/i]?

What are the stats now? Let's see, ONE out of every FIVE Americans has a sexually transmitted disease.

[i][b]Do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do you?[/b][/i][:D]

Eric The(WayTooMuchDiseaseOutThere)Hun[>]:)]
View Quote


What country did this roulet come from!? [;D]
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:24:06 PM EDT
[#29]
Most of us here (at least the ones who are a little older) have done something damn-fool stupid and irresponsible.   I just hope you learn from this.
When I was 24 I had a similar experience.   It was a deliberate false alarm to "bring us closer".   Scared the living crap out of me and caused a serious look at the way I was behaving.  
Good luck.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:25:21 PM EDT
[#30]
Quoted:
Wait a minute! Are you guys gonna bet your life on a [i]balloon[/i]?

What are the stats now? Let's see, ONE out of every FIVE Americans has a sexually transmitted disease.

[i][b]Do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do you?[/b][/i][:D]

Eric The(WayTooMuchDiseaseOutThere)Hun[>]:)]
View Quote


Yeah, well 4 out of every 5 McUZIs have sexually transmitted disease, so I figure that lowers the odds a bit for the rest of us...
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:25:59 PM EDT
[#31]
Unfortunately, I was in a very similar situation several years ago.
I met a girl that already had two kids from two different guys.Niether father wanted anything to do with the kids.She was stuck raising them herself.I dated her for a while and a few months later she was pregnant.I just about flipped my lid.I had no feelings for her and told her I had no interest in having kids.I told her if she had the baby I would certainly feel trapped and roped into a permanent relationship, causing me to leave her for sure.
She had strong feelings for me but I couldn't return them.I told her I didn't love her right now and didn't think a baby would help matters.She said I meant so much to her,that she would consider an abortion,just so I wouldn't leave her.She had the abortion shortly thereafter.I had intended to dump her right after she got it done,but felt so bad for her,I just couldn't do it.

To make a long story short,I ended up falling in love with her eventually and we got married.
We now have 2 additional children,which I love dearly.
I was always a believer in "Pro-choice", but after having 2 little ones of my own,I'm having trouble maintaining that belief.
I also know for sure,if we hadn't gotten the abortion,we would have definately split up,and my two beautiful children I have now,would have never been born, and her two would have grown up with a single mom.
Every day, I'm haunted with the thought of what that child could have grown into.My wife and I have cried over this many times.We will have to live with this for the rest of our lives.
Unless you have children you will never understand.
It helps me to understand how much my wife loved me at the time & how diffcult it must have been to have an abortion after already having two kids. I could NEVER EVER do it again.
Children are innocent and precious, and they all deserve a chance at life.
To this day, we regret doing what we did,but understand at the time we did what we thought was right.       You do what you must do, but look before you leap.
It may haunt you for the rest of your life.
...Coming from someone who knows.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:26:58 PM EDT
[#32]
Quoted:
First I am going to take responsibility and pay for it.  Why would anyone want to stick around for the pain.  
View Quote


Paying for an abortion isn't being responsible, being a father to a child that [b]YOU[/b] had is!!  And again it's not about pain, it's about taking responsibility for the actions [b]YOU[/b] took!!  You thought you were "man" enough to have sex, so why aren't you man enough to own up to the consequences of [b]YOUR[/b] actions??

You are taking the easy way out and running from your responsibilities...[b]THAT'S WRONG!![/b]

sgtar15
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:34:37 PM EDT
[#33]
I paid my 500 bucks... Was it the right thing to so.... I think yes.  Do I feel like I'm an  accomplice to murder.....yes.  Did I learn from my mistake......yes.  If you're going to do it my advice is live your life as best you can.  Which you should be doing already.  But now, somebody has had their life taken away so you can live a better one.  Make it worth it!  

Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:34:44 PM EDT
[#34]
BondJamesBond

Excellent post!!  I couldn't have said it better myself.  I am sorry for the abortion, but I admire the other stuff you have gone thru.  I call that facing responsibility for ones own actions...my hat is off to you.

sgtar15
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:49:45 PM EDT
[#35]
Quoted:
Paying for an abortion isn't being responsible, being a father to a child that [b]YOU[/b] had is!!  
sgtar15
View Quote


I haven't "had" a child - I consider it the same as pulling out a little later.  This ain't my first rodeo.  I have been through this before in a relationship I had been in for 2 years supposedly the birth control failed - or did it?  You can't believe them most of the time.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:50:56 PM EDT
[#36]
Post by M15A2 -
What country did this roulet come from!?
View Quote

Roulet? As in [i]Laissez le Bon Temps Roulette?
[/i] Or 'roue'? As in a person devoted to a life of sensual pleasure, synonymous with 'rake'?

BTW, from la belle Louisiane, mon cher frere, avec le gros tete. [b]A different country indeed.[/b][:D]

Eric The()Hun[>]:)]
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:52:14 PM EDT
[#37]
realnice, if you don't mind me asking, can you tell us how old you are???

I ask since it may shed a bit of light on the situation.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:53:30 PM EDT
[#38]
This thread is just something that I had to respond to.I wish someone could have given me some guidance (sp?) when I needed it badly years ago.

BTW...I changed my screen name also, to keep my private life private. I'm a senior member here and have been here a while.I don't like to hide from people but just don't think my personal business needs to be known to those who know me in person.

So BondJamesBond probably won't comment on too many things unless it's personal in nature or  skeletons in the closet.  
OR then unfortunate pending loss of another sweet little one.

Did anyone ever consider adoption???
There's literally thousands of couples in this country that want kids but can't have them.
Certainly better for the unborn baby with no say in the matter.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:54:11 PM EDT
[#39]
early 30's
Link Posted: 6/9/2001 12:04:09 AM EDT
[#40]
Quoted:
early 30's
View Quote


I guess it really doesn't matter.

I asked because I thought you were a lot younger, and when we're younger we feel like we have the whole world a head of us, and we don't want anything to screw that up for us.

But I guess a child is a child, no matter what your age.

I'm on the fence with the whole abortion issue, but I don't think it is a great idea to bring a child into the world when the parents aren't together.  So if you don't think you have a future with the woman, it's hard to say what you should do.  I also think it's a bad idea to marry a woman you don't love, because of a baby.  Sure it could work out, but it has a greater chance of failure.

I guess I just talked myself into circles, sorry.
Link Posted: 6/9/2001 12:12:48 AM EDT
[#41]
[b]Quoted:
I haven't "had" a child - I consider it the same as pulling out a little later.[/b]

WRONG AGAIN!!  An abortions ends (kills) a pregnancy, it is not a form of birth control.

[b]This ain't my first rodeo.  I have been through this before in a relationship I had been in for 2 years supposedly the birth control failed - or did it?[/b]

Well if it isn't your first Rodeo then why does it still keep happening to you? Grow up...and start using birth control yourself instead of pushing off the responsibility to the woman.

[b]You can't believe them most of the time.[/b]

By this statement it seams you view women only as a piece of a$$, not as equals, and they can't be trusted.  Yet you obviously still trust/believe them when they tell you they are using birthcontrol.  But then when they get pregnant you blame them?[>;/]

You may be 30, but your actions speak of a much younger age.  Stop blaming the women and take charge yourself, because if you don't it will happen again.

sgtar15
Link Posted: 6/9/2001 12:25:00 AM EDT
[#42]
Somebody needs to tell you what an irresponsible ass**** you're being.

YOU'RE BEING AN IRRESPONSIBLE ASS****, ASS****.

Wonder if along with the kids and abortions if there aren't some sexually transmitted diseases floating around somewhere in all this.

Hope she decides on an abortion, cause the poor kid has a couple of jerks for parents.
Link Posted: 6/9/2001 9:01:06 AM EDT
[#43]
Way to go pussy now you want to cover up one mistake with another. You sir are a fuckin' 60's retread irresponsible POS, my advice to you boy is to grow a pair and start to accept some RESPONSABILITY ! Think you can hack ? Now for the next question, what kind of a child will a spineless sack of shit like you raise ? As for anyone who would refute this rant why don't you all go sing coombiyah and read "it takes a village". Since it appears that you cannot hack due to your inability to make a decision why don't you put the child up for adoption.

P.S. Yes this is my regular screen name and it sounds like someone should have had the balls to have this little chat with this individual some time ago.
Link Posted: 6/9/2001 9:03:07 AM EDT
[#44]
realnice,
You are one big piece of crap, abortion is not the answer. Why should the baby pay for your mistake, you could be killing the person that finds the cure to cancer or leads our contry back to freedom. Be a man and take responsibily and raise the child yourself if she does not want it. At the very least put the baby up for adoption. You are only killing our future.
Link Posted: 6/9/2001 9:12:13 AM EDT
[#45]
First off you need to change your name from Realnice to Dumb???.  There is a sure way to prevent that this from happening AGAIN...  Keep your dick in your pants!!!


[thinking]
Link Posted: 6/9/2001 9:42:39 AM EDT
[#46]
realnice---Let me throw a little more gas on the fire. Given this chicks background, are you sure you are the sperm donor??? There might be a few other realnices hiding in the woodpile. And like a few other people have mentioned, count your blessings---you could have been visited by the AIDS FAIRY. You only get so many chances at being stupid---then you die...



PS---this is my real fake name.
Link Posted: 6/9/2001 9:55:43 AM EDT
[#47]
Bond: wow! hats off to you, thats the stuff movies are made of.
Link Posted: 6/9/2001 9:58:17 AM EDT
[#48]
That is a tough decision to live with.  I wouldn't want to have to make it.  To bad your not open to other options, adoption, etc.
Link Posted: 6/9/2001 10:00:52 AM EDT
[#49]
Quoted:
[b]Quoted:
I haven't "had" a child - I consider it the same as pulling out a little later.[/b]

WRONG AGAIN!!  An abortions ends (kills) a pregnancy, it is not a form of birth control.
View Quote


[i]Well actually it is a form of birth control since I am controlling the fact there will not be a birth[/i]

[b]This ain't my first rodeo.  I have been through this before in a relationship I had been in for 2 years supposedly the birth control failed - or did it?[/b]

Well if it isn't your first Rodeo then why does it still keep happening to you? Grow up...and start using birth control yourself instead of pushing off the responsibility to the woman.

[b]You can't believe them most of the time.[/b]

By this statement it seams you view women only as a piece of a$$, not as equals, and they can't be trusted.
View Quote


[i]exactly my point[/i]

Yet you obviously still trust/believe them when they tell you they are using birthcontrol. [i] reread my posts this is a different one telling me she was on it[/i]

But then when they get pregnant you blame them?[>;/]
View Quote


[i]I didn't lay all the blame on them - read my posts.[/i]

You may be 30, but your actions speak of a much younger age.  Stop blaming the women and take charge yourself, because if you don't it will happen again.

sgtar15
View Quote


I am begining to think sgtar satnds for Seargent Retard age 15
Link Posted: 6/9/2001 10:09:28 AM EDT
[#50]
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